words in movies
Joey: Uh-huh! I know. Im coming soon to a theater near you! Im in THX! Im unsuitable for children!
Ross: Now I cannot wait to see this.
Rachel: Well obviously I wont be able to come, for those of you who havent checked their calendars today is my due date. Well yknow, I just want to take a moment and thank you guys for how great youve been during this time. I really couldnt have done it without you. And I have loved these last nine months! And even though I am so looking forward to the next part, I am really gonna miss being pregnant.
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Estelle: Well, I sold four of them on Ebay. Youll be sitting next to HotGuy372.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Joey: You said you didnt want to go.
Rachel: I dont. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because Im pregnant you think Im invisible.
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Joey: Well uh I think I want to take Chandler.
Chandler: You really want to take me?
Chandler: So youre never actually going to pay me back?
Joey: Thanks. That means a lot to me.
Phoebe: Mon, maybe one of these guys wants to wear your dress.
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? Ill bet you that shell have it by this time tomorrow.
Rachel: (calling from the bathroom) All right, whos turn is it to help me get up!
[Scene: The World Premiere of Over There, Joey and Chandler are arriving in a limo and are about to walk down the red carpet.]
Rachel: Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. (Goes to the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Ross: People ask me why were not together, I just dont know what to tell them.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Ross: Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, youve been a little short with me lately. Im not trying to irritate you.
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh, youre nice to her.
Dr. Long: Youre about 80 percent effaced, so youre on your way. It still could last a little while longer. If youre anxious there are a few ways to help things along.
Rachel: Well, we are ready to try anything.
Ross: Youve got to be kidding me!
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Chandler: I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Rachel: No. But she did give us some ideas on how to induce labor.
Monica: All right, lets be practical, if Ross isnt willing to do it, hes not the only guy in the world you can have sex with. You can borrow ChandlerChandler is good!
Monica: Nothing. I just want the baby to be born today.
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
(Rachel turns her head to Ross and Phoebe and mouths, "No way.")
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Joey: Uh-huh look, the only reason I can over here was to settle things between us! Okay? Youve done a lot for me and my career, I wanted to pay you back so I took you to the premiere but you missed it! Okay, so how much do I owe you?
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha Oh God! So so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my(Laughs.) By the way, you dont want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
Ross: Im sorry, but we have to have some boundaries! My God, Im dying.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, weve done it before well do it again, itll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.
Ross: This is insane, Im not gonna make love to you just so that youll go into labor.
Ross: Always a great way to get in a mans pants.
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Ross: Okay enough! This is, this is not going to happen.
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Rachel: I didnt uh, really have time to read this part of the books, but do you think we have time to
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
CHANDLER: [to guys wering yellow isolation suits] So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid.
Chandler: (To Rachel) He has a gun!
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Monica: Wait! Youre supposed to wear a costume!
Phoebe: Oh, okay that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought okay its like a mouse or a opossum. But then I realized where would a mouse or a opossum get the money to make the phone call.
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
(they start to get ready, but then Phoebe enters through the door from Ross's room)
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if youre not careful you may not get married at all this year!
Rachel: Really? Oh thank you! Oh Oh, would it be completely inappropriate to give you a hug?
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) All ticketed passengers for Flight 1066 to Athens should now be on board.
Jill: Cant have?! Excuse me, the only thing I cant have is dairy! (Starts to storm out.)
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Rachel: Oh, she does want to.
Ross: She does want to.
Phoebe: No! I do want to!
Ross: What? (to Sophie) Sophie, does she have ten minutes?
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Frank: (laughs) Not to me.
Chandler: I have the lung capacity of a two year old. (starts to light another cigarette.)
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
Monica: I know what you mean. You're like a sister to me too.
Chandler: (To Monica) Yknow I think you can take her.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
Ross: Ugh, shes saying good-bye to her uncle.
Ross: Okay, look, we have nineteen minutes. Okay, Chandler, I want you to go and change! Okay. And then, when you come back, Joey will go change, and he'll have vacated the chair. Okay. Okay.
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Phoebe: (walking over to Ross) Ross?
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
[Cut to Chandler's room, Joey is relaying to Chandler his amazing discovery.]
Phoebe: Why dont you go up there and ask him to step lightly, please?
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...
Phoebe: Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. (Gets up and leaves.)
[Scene: Atlantic City, New Jersey, Chandler and Monica are about to start their weekend of sex, sex, nothing but sex.]
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Chandler: Hey, yknow what we can do? Yknow, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, yknow like we did when we were first going out. Itd be fun!
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Chandler: (angrily) Is that supposed to be funny! I was really worried over here!
Chandler: This is great, another Thanksgiving with nothing to give thanks for.
Older Scientist: Dr. Geller, theres a seat over here. (Motions to an empty chair at the white table.)
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
Rachel: I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. (to Mark) Mark, I need you!
[Cut to the hallway.]
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Ross: Okay, I don't think it's going to pivot anymore.
(Joey throws the ball to Chandler)
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Rachel: We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Pete: Hang on a second. (to the employees) Ill-Ill talk to you in the morning. (turns two of the three off) Im sorry what?
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
Rachel: Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
Joey: Hey-hey! Stanley! Hey-hey! You're leading man is here! Let's get to work.
Janice: (starting to cry) You're a very sweet person Ross, umm, unfortunately I don't think I can take another second of you whining!!
Rachel: Except it didn't. It happened to me. Oh, god, I'm gonna look like a big marshmallow peep. What am I doing? What am I doing? My father's right. I can't live on my own! I can't even do laundry!
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Hey! (Chandler looks up, startled) Why isnt it Spiderman? Yknow like Goldman, Silverman...
Ross: Okay. (to Rachel) Wow! This is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Chandler: Ill give you a thousand dollars to talk to us.
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Rachel: So umm, what time are you supposed to leave?
Monica: Well that's it. People never say `We need to talk' unless it's something bad.
(Another little girl walks over to him.)
Chandler: See Joe, we want you to tell stories but yknow, romantic stories. Nice stories.
Ross: No no, about a month ago she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Ross: Okay! (She leaves.) (To Chandler and Joey.) Hey!
Monica: Yeah, ah, but Pheebs dont you think hes a little young to get married?
Ross: Please, he refers to me as wethead.
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Pete: Dont worry, Hoshi taught me how to use an opponents strength and weight against him.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) What's the matter? Why so scrunchy?
Phoebe: Umm, okay, okay, look. I took this picture from your fridge. Okay, because I know that this is my Father. Yeah, this is Frank Buffay and you are standing right there next to him. Now, look I deserve to know where I came from. All right? So if you can help me find my Father then you should! Otherwise, youre just mean! (pause) So, just tell me the truth!
C.H.E.E.S.E: Oh yeah? Well then how come I cant get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
Chandler: Oh my God, honey we are so meant to be together. We both have copies of the Annie soundtrack.
Chandler: (picks it up) And now Ive picked it up again. (walks over to Monica.)
Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.
Rachel: I cant talk to you. I cant even look at you right now!
Woman: What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff!
Chandler: I dont know, but dont worry, dont worry, because I know how to take a picture now. (They get ready) Okay, see? Look down (Looks down), look down, look down (He falls asleep.)
Joey: Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani! (Holds up the piece of paper bearing the proof of his ordination.)
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do.
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
Ross: Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But Issac, see I-I happen to have a girlfriend.