words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Rachel: Well, I'm sorry I'm not going to an eye doctor!
Ross: Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she like freaks out. Watch! Watch! (He takes his finger and moves it towards his eye.)
Ross: Hey, does anybody want to get some lunch? All those in favor say I? (Pokes his eye)
Ross: All right, I gotta go. I'm taking Ben to the park.
Phoebe: (after he's gone) I am so sorry you got caught in the middle of that. I didn't mean to be so out there. I am furious with him!
Joey: And the best part is, we're filming in the desert outside Vegas! (To Chandler) And you know what that means buddy!
Joey: Road trip! Yeah, we can rent a car! I just have to be there by Tuesday!
Phoebe: No! No, her cab! She probably won't be using it; you can drive it to Las Vegas.
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Chandler: All right, great, road trip baby! (To Monica) This okay with you?
Monica: Chandler! You don't have to ask for my permission. (Quietly) You can go.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) All right! Let's get this over with! Ugh! (She walks by the table and notices that no one is looking and accidentally on purpose knocks over the open cereal box.) Ohhh! No! Look what I did! (She starts walking through the mess. {Also, notice the continuity error in this scene. Note the position of the box and dispersal pattern of the cereal before and after the camera cut.}) Oh, I mean, look at this mess! I mean, we're probably gonna have to clean this up! Y'know? We're gonna have to reschedule!
Monica: No. If you thought this mess is going to bother me, you are wrong! All right, let's go Blinky! (She ushers Rachel out the door, but before the door fully closes she sticks her head back in.) Chandler!!!! (Chandler agrees to clean up the mess.)
Joey: I can't decide which route to take to Vegas. Hey, you've traveled a lot right?
Joey: Well, back to square one.
Phoebe: Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can.
Phoebe: Good, but wait. Okay, all right, here we go. Now I want you to relax. Take a deep breath. Clear your mind. (Quickly) Which do you like better peanut butter or egg whites?
Ross: Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight?
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Phoebe: Umm, no thank you. (She gets up and moves to the couch. They were at a table previously.)
(Ross pauses and looks at him, Joey motions for him to hurry up.)
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Dr. Miller: Okay. You've got a small, minor infection in that left eye. I want you to take these drops three times a day and you'll be as good as new.
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
Joey: Hey! You ready to go?
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
Ross: I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15.
(Joey nods to Chandler, no way!)
Joey: Anybody want to say good-bye to me at the car?
Rachel: Oh honey, I'll say good-bye to you at the car if you don't mind the puss.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
(Ross isn't sure what to do with that comment.)
[Scene: Phoebe's cab, Joey and Chandler are headed across the George Washington bridge on their way to Las Vegas. Joey is driving.]
Joey: Man, I'm getting pretty tired. You're might have to take over soon.
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Joey: You don't think this is going to be a big break for me?
Chandler: Look Joe, I just, I just don't want to get your hopes up real high.
Chandler: Joe, I don't think this is going to be your big break.
Joey: Fine! (He slams on the brakes, stopping the car on the bridge to the sound of numerous car horns.) Get out!
Chandler: You're not actually supposed to stop on the bridge.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
Rachel: Oh, did you beat him at a board game? He turns into such a baby when he starts to lose.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Monica: On three, 1 2 3! (Rachel turns her head on three to avoid the drops.) Now my pillow's all wet! (She was trying to fool Rachel and squeezed the eyedropper.)
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Monica: What did you do to his sweater vests?
Monica: Yeah, she's here. Hold on a second. (She hands the phone to Phoebe.)
Chandler: (who has just entered) Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him!
Chandler: Y'know, he won't even talk to me. How am I going to apologize to him if he won't even talk to me?
Monica: Well, maybe you should send him something. So that when he gets to Las Vegas he'll know that you're sorry.
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Joey: Hey-hey! Stanley! Hey-hey! You're leading man is here! Let's get to work.
Stanley: It-it's probably just temporary. We're hoping to get some more money soon, so if could just uh, hang out.
(I think one of the grips walk up to Joey, mainly because there's a credit for The Grip. What the heck is a grip anyway?!)
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
[Cut to Joey hanging up the phone in Vegas. He's wearing a Roman gladiator's uniform and goes over to join a family to pose for a picture. You see, he's apparently taken a job at Caesar's Palace.]
Joey: (to the family) Sorry about that. Thanks for waitin'.
(As she moves to get it, Monica yells )
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Monica: Okay! Okay! Okay! (She succeeds in getting the eye drops in and everyone climbs off of Rachel.) We'll see you in about 3 to 4 hours.
Rachel: Oh! (She's trying to recover while still on the floor.)
Rachel: So I hear the Ralph Lauren fooled around with someone in the copy room. (Kim stops the elevator and turns to Rachel.)
Rachel: (to a pregnant Leslie) Look at you, you are so big I can't believe it!
Ross: Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.
Rachel: What? Oh, well then yknow what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.
Monica: Well, that's it (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch?
Mike: I intend to marry her.
Rachel: Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. I had the greatest day though, I got to sit in on the meeting with the reps from Calvin Klien. I told my boss I liked this line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it. How was your day?
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
The Director: (to Joey) Very nice. Very nice. (he walks away)
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
Ross: Okay, forward. ForwardStop! (The car moves an inch and Ross runs to the back of the car.) Okay, backStop! (The car barely moves and Ross runs back to the front.) Okay, forwardStop! Stop! Stop!
Gunther: (to Ross) Thanks for not marrying Rachel. (He starts to leave.)
Ross: Well, I'm off to Carol's.
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
JOEY: Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady.
Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!
Ross: No, us having to lie about being married.
Rachel: Oh sorry didnt mean to interrupt. Its just such a beautiful space; do you do a lot of weddings here?
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Joey: Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck!
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Phoebe: Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! (Points to a lamp which is shaking behind the sofa)
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Chandler: (standing in the door of the fridge) Well, I dont have to break up with her this time. Were not involved! Im going to do a pre-emptive strike! Im going to end it with her before it starts. My ass is like frozen! (Closes the fridge.)
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
(He goes to kiss her, but she isnt very receptive of the kiss. She keeps avoiding him, until Ross finally gets to kiss her on her cheek.)
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
Monica: Joey, you dont have to finish that.
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
(Everyone goes over to comfort Monica)
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Ross: Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo.
Joey: C'mon! Just try to picture her not pregnant, that's all.
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
Joey: Okay umm, I just came by to tell you that I want to have dinner with you tonight. Thats all.
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
Monica: Okay. I-I can't watch. (Leaves as sits down to read the paper.)
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
Ross: Yeah, which, which we have to leave for in exactly twelve minutes. All right, come on, I'll just pick something out for you.
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
Leslie: Come here, come here. (they go to the side of the stage) Okay, dont get mad, okay.
Dr. Ledbetter: I wonder if its time for you to rejoin our team at the museum?
Julio: (to Jeannine) Adios.
Ross: Thats okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didnt want it to end this way, yknow?
Joey: You dont have to seem so happy about it.
Joey: Yeah, its for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. Its a very important issue in this months Playboy. Im sure you all read about it.
Emily: Right, Ive got to be off, Ill see ya. Buh-bye then. (She leaves.)
Rachel: Thats all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?
Monica: He says he wants to leave the country. (Pause) He thinks you hate him.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
(Joey hears the bell which means his answer is correct and is surprised. The screen now says "5 to win" and "Spanish words")
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Monica: No, he didn't! He pretended to be a Quaker to get out of Korea.
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together!
Rachel: Oh, ok, thank you. (Molly leaves) (to Monica) Do you see what all the guys see in her?
Mrs. Lynch: (starting to cry) No, Im sorry. I have to go. (She leaves as Sophie arrives.)
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
JOEY: Yeah, someplace nice. (to Phoebe and Rachel) How much do you think I can get for my kidney? (at Central Perk)
Ross: I'm gonna have to give him up.
Ross: And thats Phoebe over there! (Points to her.)
Sandy: That's great! (He gets emotional again and waves his hand in front of his face in a feminine way, like trying to dry his tears) I'm sorry. It's just... such an emotional thing when you're welcomed into a new family...
Joey: He had to board.
The Croupier: Comin' out. Place your bet. (Monica does so.) Dice are out. (The woman next to Monica rolls the dice.) Double or nothin'! Pay the front line! (Monica won and doubled the chip.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
<Joey looks to Phoebe and she nods in agreement>
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell?
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel, entering selfish mode, is thanking Ross for wrongly taking the entire blame of the breakup; as if she had absolutely nothing to do with it.]
Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
JOEY: What if we have to pee?
MONICA: You've got to get back out there, it's your party.
Trudie Styler: Im told there are two sides to this story, but all Ive heard is that Bens a bit of a poo-poo head.
Mike: No, no, we're here to give the money back.
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
Rachel: (Running to her room.) Hi, Pheebs.
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
Ross: Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Ross: (gets up) All right. Y'know what? We dont have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! (He grabs a deck of cards and pulls up a chair.) All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. (Deals the cards.) 13.
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
(Joey picks up a hammer and a crowbar and gets ready to destroy the table.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]
Chandler: Great! Now, we can go to the Ranger game! (Pause) Last night!
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
Ross: All right, yknow what? If you are not going to learn how to ride this bike then Im sorry, Im just gonna have to take it back.
(Chandler nods along and they enter the whirlpool room and remove their robes. Only Chandler is lacking a certain item of clothing. You see this is a coed whirlpool, which means swimsuits, and in fact there are two women already there and Chandler didnt seem to wear his. Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including Chandler.)
(He goes over to hug her.)