words in movies
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, are you still on hold? I was supposed to call my Dad back like two hours ago.
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Rachel: Okay, I need a date! (runs to her bedroom)
Joey: Oh, hey, you guys are finally gonna get to meet Kate!
Joey: (to Chandler) And I ah, borrowed some of your cologne. I hope she likes it.
Joey: The green bottle next to the shaving cream.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
Monica: (to Phoebe) Here you go. You can wear this. (hands her a sweater)
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Hold Voice: Please, stay on the line. Your call is important to us.
(Phoebe starts to hang up the phone, but )
Chandler: (entering, carrying the chick and duck) Hey! Can you take a duck and a chick to the theatre?
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
Rachel: How are you? (She goes to kiss him on the cheek, but stops because of the dates and pats him on the shoulder.)
(They all try and shake hands at once. They end up criss-crossing theyre arms to shake each others hand, and Ross says )
Rachel: Okay, uhh, I think Im going to run to the ladies room.
Ross: Okay. (The girls leave.) (to Tommy) So uh, well, this-this is uh, this is awkward.
Ross: Well y'know cause Rachel and I used to go out.
Man: Uh, the usher told us to come
Tommy: Oh! Oh! The usher must be right! What, with all that training they go through! Get out!! (They start to leave.) Here! (He throws him back his ticket.) (to Ross, calmly) Hey man, you want the aisle?
Joey: (sees Kate) Oh-oh, hey-hey, Kate! Listen I want you to meet everybody. Everybody, this is Kate.
The Director: (stepping in) Excuse me. Excuse me. (to Kate) Sweetheart! (Kisses her.) Come! (They leave.)
Ross: (drags Chandler over to buffet table) Im telling you, this guy Rachel is with is crazy! Okay? He viscously screamed at total strangers! I think hes baaad news!
[cut to Joey, Rachel, and Tommy.]
[cut to Monica, Pete, and Cailin]
[cut to Joey as Estelle, Joeys agent, approaches]
Estelle: How do you do. (to Rachel and Monica) Ooh, you two girls were outstanding! (to Joey) Did they have representation?
Estelle: Ooh, what a shame! Because with her face (points to Monica) and her chest (points to Rachel) I could really put something together.
[cut to later]
Cailin: (to Ross) Hi! Remember me?
The Director: Kate Millers awkward and mannered portrayal is laughable. (Kate walks away depressed.) Badda-badda-badda. Ah-ha! Here it is! The direction by Marshal Talmant is (stops, reads it again, and throws down the paper in disgust) Thank you, boys and girls, youve ruined my life. Please, stuff your talentless faces with my Mothers crab cakes! (starts to leave) Excuse me!!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, yeah. (to Monica) I put your stuff in her room, and her stuff in your room.
[Scene: The Theatre, after the party. Joey is trying to comfort Kate.]
The Director: (entering, drunk) I am hurt! (to Joey and Kate) A plague on both your houses! (walks away)
Kate: Yep! I sure know how to pick em, huh? Y'know I gave up a part on a soap for this!
Joey: I, I dont get you. I mean first, you hate me. Then you sleep with me. Then you want nothing to do with me, now you want me again.
Kate: I dont know! I just, just do this! I-I always have to pick the like the smartest guy, or-or the most talented guy Why cant I just pick someone like you?
Joey: (Checks to see if shes drooling on his shirt.) Okay. Okay, okay, hey. (Lays her down and covers her with a blanket.) There we go, lets get your feet up there. (Looks at her) Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. (Picks up a garbage can) Im gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl.
Hold Voice: Please stay on the line. Youre call is very important to us.
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Pheebs, youve been up for 24 hours! Go to sleep, honey. Th-this isnt healthy.
Phoebe: Im so, so, so sorry, Joey. I definitely am gonna see youre play. I swear youre play is very important to us, thank you for your patience. Youre play is the next play is the next play Im gonna see.
(He turns and looks at her. The woman whispers something to Gunther; who comes back and takes the mug away from Chandler.)
Rachel: Tommys supposed to be here soon, were going to lunch.
Ross: Look. Look, I wasnt going to say anything to you, but... All right, I dont think you should be seeing Tommy anymore.
Ross: Okay, fine, fine. You dont want to believe me? No, thats fine. (starts to leave)
[cut to outside of Central Perk]
Ross: You dont want to believe me, Im Mr. Funny to you. Mr. Funny (turns around and almost spills his coffee on Tommy)
[cut to inside Central Perk, we see Ross quietly tapping on the window, desperately trying to get the gangs attention, while Tommy is still screaming at him]
Monica: Umm, going to the beach. When it stays light real late.
[cut to onstage with Lauren standing in for Kate, the doorbell rings.]
Joey: Oh, ahh, go to the window. Im wanna run down to the truck and show you something.
Joey: (making like he is yelling up to the second floor) Im coming up!
Phoebe: Yeah. But I also believed her (points to the phone) when she said I was next.
[cut to Chandler and Joeys apartment, Tommy is using the phone]
Tommy: (noticing the chick) Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. (picks up the chick) Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? (starts to pet him) Aww. (The chick poops on his hand.) Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!! Oh look at me, Im so cute, Im a little chick whos disgusting! God, youre so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!! (the duck wattles behind him and quacks) (to the duck) Quack-quack, quack-quack!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!!
Tommy: Ooh, sorry little Mr. Chic-A-Dee, sorry you went doody in my hand! (starts to walk out and stops) (to Rachel) Well, I guess were not going out anymore. Whaa!!!
Joey: Well can you at least stay to the end of the play? I mean, Ill go to the airport with ya, I-I wanna say good bye.
Joey: (to Lauren) In a minute!!
[cut to the end of the play]
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
(The ladder retracts, taking Joey up into the spaceship for his voyage to Blargon 7, and Kate waves good bye.)
Phoebe: No, no, no, oh no-no-no, its has to be 800. (picks up the instruction manual to check the phone number) Cause all those big companies have 800 numbers, every one. (Finds the number) Yeah, every big Utah-based company has one.
Joey: (To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
Monica: Y'know what? Y'know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that.
Joey: Look, it's okay, no, no, no, really, look um, I really appreciate this Pheebs, but I think I'm gonna have to go back to Estelle.
Monica: So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute.
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Joey: Well I dont like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Dont feel bad man, we all have our strengths. Youre better with numbers and stuff.
Chandler: All right look, Im changing it to 50 bucks, or your best offer.
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
Rachel: Heeeeey, where have you been? (He shows her his thumb) What happened to you?
Chandler: All right, let me in. (He jumps off of the counter to join in the game.)
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
MONICA: Because, you were mean to me and you, you teased me and you always, always got your way.
Rachel: Hmm. Look, Ross, if you want your neighbors to like you, why don't you just pay the hundred bucks? The party's gonna cost you way more than that.
Ross: Yknow what? He didnt want to talk to us about being angry, well maybe we dont talk to him at all!
Joey: That doesnt sound like thinking to me!
Ross: Ahh, the one next to my foot. Sorry.
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
Guy: I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Rachel: I dont want you to see me naked!
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
MNCA: Ahhh, hey honey? Don't you have to be at your interview now?
(they all start to dive for the ball and Monica and Ross grab it at the same time.)
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Ross: You guys, you know what, you know what, it doesn't matter, because you both have to go get dressed before the big vain in my head pops. So..
Mike: You don't have to go home tonight, do you?
(Monica goes to change.)
(He gets up to walk out, but Helena spots and stops him.)
Chandler: All right, wait! Come on! Just wait one second! There has to be something that I can do! Something! If we still had that entertainment unit I would get in it for six hours and think about how I let you down. (Joey looks intrigued) What?
Joey: Okay, but I dont see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
Monica: Phoebe why dont you just call her? You obviously want to.
Ross: (to the rest of the gang) Were just gonna be friends.
Dr. Long: Well youre only two centimeters dilated and we need to get to ten. Itll be a while.
David: Oh, uh... we just uh... happen to wear the same shade.
Mindy: (to Rachel) You did it twice?
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
Chandler: Oh, who should I blame? The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage to 10 different rooms?
PHOEBE: So um, so what's up, you came to see me yesterday.
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, its just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
Phoebe: Yeah, come to papa.
Phoebe: Yeah! Okayooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey-hey, or I could bring my keyboard over here sometime!
Phoebe: Well, hey, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company? You know. What if Kenny hired that Ralph Lauren guy to be the pretty front man? Huh, did she ever think of that?
Cheryl: So you want to come inside?
Joey: I bet ya ya I could fit in there. (points to a hole in the center)
Joey: Well we have to make room for the fresh ones.
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
Phoebe: She sells drugs to kids. (The guard looks at the lurker.)
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.
Ross: Oh, Pheebs, Im sorry, Ive got to go. Ive got Lamaze class.
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
JOEY: What happened to the foosball?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
Phoebe: Listen. Listen. (She starts to play and sing.) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Pete: (to Monica, by the door) So ah, we on for tomorrow?
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.
Rachel: Well, I don't know, you guys figure it out, I got to put Emma down for a nap.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Monica: Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you.
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
(Rachel looks bored. At this point, Rossa figment of Rachel's imagination shows up on the balcony and starts talking to her.)
Tag: But Im not gay. And I especially wouldnt want you to think I was gay.
(We hear Tag scream out in the hallway and jump into view of the open door on the scooter. He gives a hearty thumbs up to the group and rides off, with Joey following breathlessly behind.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
DUNCAN: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight.
CHAN: [slowly lifts coffee cup to his mouth] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [slowly sets the cup back down] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. [Joey intercepts the cup and puts it down for him]. She's insane, the woman is insane. It's before work, it's after work, it's during work. She's got me doing butt clenches at my desk. And now, they won't bring me my mail anymore.
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Mike: Look. Phoebe, I-I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again.
CHANDLER: Yeah I just... wanted to call and say hey.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Phoebe: No, no maybe cause its harder to raise them, and the added expense, and
Rachel: Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.
Chandler: Yeah, its like someone literally wrote down my worst nightmare and then charged me $32 to see it!
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
PHOEBE: Is anyone else starting to really like him?
Rachel: I just don't want to be alone tonight.
(Rachel leans over to look at him.)
Phoebe: Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play.
Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this?
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
Joey: All right, thats it! He cannot do this to Phoebe. (gets up) This guy is going to get the butt kicking of a lifetime! (stops and turns around and asks Rachel) But, is he a big guy?
[Scene: The airport, the Yemen Express counter, Chandler is still trying to get rid of Janice.]
Phoebe: Oh, I should go, too. Oh, now... tomorrow do you guys wanna share a cab to the airport or should Mike and I just meet you there.
Joey: Hey, dont get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]