words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Joey is holding a deck of cards out to Chandler.]
Carol: Guess what? Ben is going to be in a TV commercial!
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Chandler: Unwilling to steal from work, interesting.
Rachel: Okay guys, way to wish me luck!
Phoebe: Okay, great so do you want to do it together?
Monica: I would love to do it together!
(Joey starts to giggle.)
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Monica: It's gonna be weird to watch some actor pretending to be Ben's dad.
Ross: Yeah the dad and Ben eat soup and pretend to enjoy it.
Joey: Whoa, hey, maybe I'll go down there with ya and see if I can get an audition to play the dad. I mean who better to play Ben's father than his godfather.
(As they walk out he motions to Chandler that he is still Ben's godfather.)
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Joey: That's great. Listen, wouldn't it be great though if I got to play Ben's dad?
Carol: Y'know, I don't really know you well enough for you to do that.
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Kim: So it's down to these two, Nancy I know you like this one and I think I agree. Rachel, what do you think?
Kim: Oh don't be sorry, that's part of your job here to give your opinions and then I take credit for them--I'm kidding.
(They all get up to leave.)
Rachel: Oh no, my dad's a doctor and he would always tell me just horror stories (stops and tries to change directions) about ghosts and goblins who totally supported the princess's right to smoke.
Rachel: I mean what if this keeps happening? Y'know, they'll-they'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions and I'll just be up in my office breathing my stupid clean air, y'know? And then when the day comes when Kim wants to promote one of us, who do you think she's gonna pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?
Monica: Rachel, you can go down there, you don't have to smoke. Just say you wanna get some fresh air.
Rachel: I would love to!
Chandler: Yeah, I wanna go to babe.
Phoebe: What happened to the intimate dinner party?
Monica: What?! I didn't take care of everything, there's-there's plenty of things for you to do!
Phoebe: Cups and ice? Ooh, I get to be in charge of cups and ice? (Thinks of something) All right. Fine, okay, I will be in charge of cups and ice!
Joey: (also downtrodden) Yeah, I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback.
[Scene: The smoker's balcony, Rachel is out to join Kim and Nancy.]
Nancy: So anyway I sent the designs over to Ralph and he's very excited about the line.
(Rachel gets fed up and heads over to another smoker.)
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Rachel: Oh, I thought you guys meant marijuana cigarettes, y'know? Y'know what I mean, like dubbies? And I actually, I thought to myself, "Wow, those guys are crazy!" But no, I actually smoke the regular ones all, all the time.
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
The Casting Director: (entering) Okay uh, we have narrowed it down to Raymond, Ben, Kyle, and Joey. The rest of you, thank you very much.
Ross: Yes!! I knew it!! (To the people who didn't make it.) Bye-bye! So long! Later!
Joey: Oh this is great! I might actually get to play Ben's dad!
The Casting Director: Actually, that can't happen. Yeah because you all have such different looks, we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben. So it'll be either you two (Points to Joey and Raymond) or you two. (Points to Kyle and Ben.) (Exits.)
Phoebe: Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. (She goes and opens the door to Joey.) Oh, hi Joey!
Joey: Hey Pheebs! (To the guys) Hey!
Joey: Ross good, I'm uh glad you're here. I wanna talk to you about something.
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Joey: Yeah! Because this commercial belongs to me and Mitch!
Monica: (To Rachel) How did work go?
Rachel: All right, fine! But I had too! I had to do it for my career!
Chandler: Okay, but you gotta push past this because it is about to get so good!
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Rachel: Yeah, I did, but y'know what? I am really, really trying to cut back, y'know? (Laughs) Good luck, Rach.
Rachel: Okay then! (She starts rummaging through the trash to find Kim's lighter.)
Joey: (goes over to Ben) Hi Ben! So you wanna be an actor huh? I gotta tell ya, it's no picnic. There's tons of rejection. No stability. One day you're Dr. Drake Remoray, the next day you're eating ketchup right out of the bottle.
(Raymond and Joey both eat a spoonful and Joey turns to Raymond and says )
The Casting Director: Y'know what? We need to move on.
Nancy: Rachel we tried to quit, but it was too hard!
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to walk away.)
Kim: (to Nancy) So, okay! So you'll come with me on the Paris trip.
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Check it out! Cup hat! (Points to her hat.) Cup banner! Cup chandelier! And the thing that started it all, the cup! (Holds up one.)
(Chandler starts to follow her into the kitchen.)
Phoebe: (following him) And did you notice the ice? (Gestures to 3 huge buckets of ice on the table.) Look! We have it all! We have crushed! Cubed! And dry! Watch! (Pours some water onto the dry ice, causing it to evaporate/smoke.) Ahhh! Mystical!
Chandler: Thank you! Thank you! (Runs to the snow cone machine.)
[Cut to another part of the room, Ross is going to talk to Joey.]
Joey: Yeah right! (Gets up for a refill to his snow cone.)
Joey: Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, "Hmm, noodle soup." (Nods his head in disgust.)
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
Chandler: (to Kim and Nancy) Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch.
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
Rachel: So I hear the Ralph Lauren fooled around with someone in the copy room. (Kim stops the elevator and turns to Rachel.)
Rachel: (to a pregnant Leslie) Look at you, you are so big I can't believe it!
Ross: Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.
Rachel: What? Oh, well then yknow what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.
Monica: Well, that's it (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch?
Mike: I intend to marry her.
Rachel: Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store.
Rachel: Yeah, I know. I had the greatest day though, I got to sit in on the meeting with the reps from Calvin Klien. I told my boss I liked this line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it. How was your day?
[Scene: Healing Hands Inc. (Phoebes work), Frank is being ushered in, by the arm, to the room Phoebe is in by another girl.]
The Director: (to Joey) Very nice. Very nice. (he walks away)
Phoebe: (to the girls) Hi! Hi! Listen, my friend Ross is about to be divorced for the third time, but wouldnt you date him?
Ross: Okay, forward. ForwardStop! (The car moves an inch and Ross runs to the back of the car.) Okay, backStop! (The car barely moves and Ross runs back to the front.) Okay, forwardStop! Stop! Stop!
Gunther: (to Ross) Thanks for not marrying Rachel. (He starts to leave.)
Ross: Well, I'm off to Carol's.
Gary: Hey, it's okay. It was just a car backfire. (Joey slowly moves off of Ross.) Hey, look at that! You tried to save your buddy. You see that? You see what he did?
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's. Only Chandler is in the living room and walks to the bathroom.]
JOEY: Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady.
Ross: Things you find in the ocean, (to Joey) You're gonna be on "Pyramid"!!
Ross: No, us having to lie about being married.
Rachel: Oh sorry didnt mean to interrupt. Its just such a beautiful space; do you do a lot of weddings here?
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Joey: Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck!
Phoebe: Oh yeah? Well, let's see. (she takes her mobile phone) Ok, duck down. (they both get down to hide themselves. Phoebe calls Chandler)
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Phoebe: Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! (Points to a lamp which is shaking behind the sofa)
(He gives the agent his ticket and walks onto the jetway. Janice walks over and looks out the window. Chandler walks back into the terminal and tries to walk right past Janice, but she sees him.)
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
Chandler: (standing in the door of the fridge) Well, I dont have to break up with her this time. Were not involved! Im going to do a pre-emptive strike! Im going to end it with her before it starts. My ass is like frozen! (Closes the fridge.)
Gunther: Okay, but the moneys good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
(He goes to kiss her, but she isnt very receptive of the kiss. She keeps avoiding him, until Ross finally gets to kiss her on her cheek.)
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
Monica: Joey, you dont have to finish that.
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
(Everyone goes over to comfort Monica)
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Ross: Uh, no, no, see, because not...not all guys are going to be a Paolo.
Joey: C'mon! Just try to picture her not pregnant, that's all.
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
Joey: Okay umm, I just came by to tell you that I want to have dinner with you tonight. Thats all.
Monica: (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
Monica: Okay. I-I can't watch. (Leaves as sits down to read the paper.)
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
Ross: Yeah, which, which we have to leave for in exactly twelve minutes. All right, come on, I'll just pick something out for you.
[Cut back to Central Perk.]
Leslie: Come here, come here. (they go to the side of the stage) Okay, dont get mad, okay.
Dr. Ledbetter: I wonder if its time for you to rejoin our team at the museum?
Julio: (to Jeannine) Adios.
Ross: Thats okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didnt want it to end this way, yknow?
Joey: You dont have to seem so happy about it.
Joey: Yeah, its for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. Its a very important issue in this months Playboy. Im sure you all read about it.
Emily: Right, Ive got to be off, Ill see ya. Buh-bye then. (She leaves.)
Rachel: Thats all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?
Monica: He says he wants to leave the country. (Pause) He thinks you hate him.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are reading a book about things to do whilst in London.]
(Joey hears the bell which means his answer is correct and is surprised. The screen now says "5 to win" and "Spanish words")
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Monica: No, he didn't! He pretended to be a Quaker to get out of Korea.
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together!
Rachel: Oh, ok, thank you. (Molly leaves) (to Monica) Do you see what all the guys see in her?
Mrs. Lynch: (starting to cry) No, Im sorry. I have to go. (She leaves as Sophie arrives.)
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
JOEY: Yeah, someplace nice. (to Phoebe and Rachel) How much do you think I can get for my kidney? (at Central Perk)
Ross: I'm gonna have to give him up.
Ross: And thats Phoebe over there! (Points to her.)
Sandy: That's great! (He gets emotional again and waves his hand in front of his face in a feminine way, like trying to dry his tears) I'm sorry. It's just... such an emotional thing when you're welcomed into a new family...
Joey: He had to board.
The Croupier: Comin' out. Place your bet. (Monica does so.) Dice are out. (The woman next to Monica rolls the dice.) Double or nothin'! Pay the front line! (Monica won and doubled the chip.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
<Joey looks to Phoebe and she nods in agreement>
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell?
[Scene: Rachel's bedroom, Rachel, entering selfish mode, is thanking Ross for wrongly taking the entire blame of the breakup; as if she had absolutely nothing to do with it.]
Chandler: (peeping) Everything is so distorted! Looks like Joey has a giant hand! Which says "Rangers" on it. They went to the game!
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
JOEY: What if we have to pee?
MONICA: You've got to get back out there, it's your party.
Trudie Styler: Im told there are two sides to this story, but all Ive heard is that Bens a bit of a poo-poo head.
Mike: No, no, we're here to give the money back.
Susan: I am supposed to be the mommy?
Rachel: (Running to her room.) Hi, Pheebs.
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women that know how to play poker.
Ross: Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Ross: (gets up) All right. Y'know what? We dont have to go downstairs! We can bring Vegas up to us! (He grabs a deck of cards and pulls up a chair.) All right, come on, come on, we'll play some blackjack. Here we go. (Deals the cards.) 13.
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
(Joey picks up a hammer and a crowbar and gets ready to destroy the table.)
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]
Chandler: Great! Now, we can go to the Ranger game! (Pause) Last night!
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says hes going to call, it doesnt mean hes going to call. Hasnt it ever happened to you?
Ross: All right, yknow what? If you are not going to learn how to ride this bike then Im sorry, Im just gonna have to take it back.
(Chandler nods along and they enter the whirlpool room and remove their robes. Only Chandler is lacking a certain item of clothing. You see this is a coed whirlpool, which means swimsuits, and in fact there are two women already there and Chandler didnt seem to wear his. Needless to say, everyone is shocked, including Chandler.)
(He goes over to hug her.)