words in movies
DR. REMORE: I'm sorry Amber. It's just like Brad to have to have the last word.
JOEY: Well, I get the medical award for separating the siamese twins. Then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half-brother, Ramone. And that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big but it's cursed.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is at the foosball table trying to get Phoebe to play a game with him.]
PHOEBE: No. This game is grotesque. Twenty armless guys joined at the waist by a steel bar, forced to play soccer forever. Ahh, hello, human-rights violation.
PHOEBE: Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?
CHANDLER: We don't need to remedy that.
PHOEBE: Hi, um, I just thought that it would be fun if the three of us had some beers and got to know each other.
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
PHOEBE: I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him. [leaves]
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
PHOEBE: Oh, this is so nice. Alright I have to make a speech. I just wanna say that of all the guys that Monica has been with, and that is a lot, I like you the best.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment. Chandler is there. There's a knock at the door. He answers it to see a young woman holding a fishtank.]
CHANDLER: Oh yeah, your uh, name came up in a uh, conversation that terrified me to my very soul.
TILLY: Eddie, I just came by to drop off your tank.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey enters with several magazines and runs up to Phoebe.]
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
JOEY: How can they do this to me?
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
RICHARD: That's it? That's the giant number you were afraid to tell me?
MONICA: And, well, don't you have a lot of wild oats to sew? Or is that what you're doing with me? Oh my God, am I an oat?
RICHARD: Now I do. [they kiss and fall to the bed]
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
MONICA: Hi. Uh, we'll be right there, we're just trying to decide something. [shuts the bathroom door]
RICHARD: Hey. They're just trying to decide somehting.
ROSS: Good, good, good. So, is uh, was your moustache, did, used to be different?
MONICA: Alright, I tell you what, I'll give this to you now if you can tell me where we keep the dustpan.
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
DR. REMORE: Amber, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, as a friend and as your brother.
INTERCOM: Dr. Remore, report to first floor emergency, stat.
DR. REMORE: Well then, uh, I uhh, guess that's me. Anyone else need to go on the elevator? Dr. Horton, Dr. Wong?
ROSS: Open up. We want to talk to you.
MONICA: And some of us really have to pee.
MONICA: Sorry Joey [runs to the bathroom]
RACHEL: Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back.
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
MONICA: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
RACHEL: Yeah, Joey honey, I don't know if this'll mean anything to you but you'll always be pre-approved with us.
JOEY: No, that means nothin to me.
[Scene: Chandler and Eddie's apartment.Chandler walks in to see Eddie holding a tray of cookies.]
CHANDLER: [looks in the fish bowl to see a fish cracker] Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker.
Chandler: (to Rachel, whos entering) Hey! Howd the interview go?
Monica: I know its last minute, but we decided to have a Halloween party.
Ross: Hello to the rest.
Rachel: Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go!
Carol: Am I allowed to drink anything?
Jasmine: Fine. (starts to leave, and points at Frank) I dont like you!! (leaves)
FBOB: OK, look, this isn't the first time somebody's said something to me about this, but, I don't know... I always made excuses about it, like... uhhh... 'I'm just a social drinker,' or, 'C'mon, it's Flag Day.'
Chandler: I cant seem to say goodbye.
[Scene: Carol's OB/GYN, they're still arguing about what to name the baby.]
Monica: Do you want to go to the bathroom, or do you wanna play poker?
Rachel: No-no-no, no, honey please, Ive got, Ive just have so much to deal with.
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Janice: Ugh, well I will just have to soak up every once of Chandler Bing until that moment comes.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are discussing what to do about the now naked hooker in the guestroom.]
Ross: You want me to take some girl Ive never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
Coma Guy: Well, what do you want me to say?
Big Nosed Rachel: Guess what?! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight!
The Interviewer: Umm, Im gonna just go get this warmed up. (She takes her coffee mug up to the counter.)
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it�s chilling.
Ross: Im sorry, its just one of my last nights together before she leaves for campto be a counselor!
Rachel: (starting to lose her composure) I mean were not, were not gonna live together anymore?
JOEY: Yeah, turns out our kids go to the same school. Small world huh?
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
Phoebe: Wow! Oh you can just imagine that this is where (Shes opening and closing the drawers) they kept all the stuff to make their potions.
Receptionist: Well, I think this is a great place to work!
Pete: Well if youre asking me to quit, then youre asking me to be someone Im not. Ive got to do this.
Chandler: What must it be like not to be crippled by fear and self-loathing.
[Cut to the hallway where Phoebe is conferring with Rachel.]
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh no-no, no-no, they dont want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store.
Chandler: What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy, it's time for you to swoop in!
Monica: Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too.
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Phoebe: Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME!
[Cut to Living Room]
Chandler: (rushing in) Oh, good! Good! Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Jill enters to start her date with Ross.]
Phoebe: (Screaming incoherently.) Get in here!!! (Motions to join her and Rachel.)
Ross: (yelling, thinking Emily can hear him through the answering machine all the way to New York.) I love you too! Im, Im gonna call you right now from the phone booth! (Realises) You cant hear me. (Goes to make his call.)
Julie: I'd love it too. Shoot, I gotta go. So, I'll talk to you later.
Monica: (shouts to Chandler) Chandler? Do you promise to be good?
Joey: I was uh, I was thinking I might want to pick one of those babies up for myself, I might want to get one of those
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Ross: Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, youve been a little short with me lately. Im not trying to irritate you.
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Rachel: What's that? (Points to the box.)
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, yknow? I can get out, "Joey, I have too " but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, " go to the bathroom." He may think Im sick.
Ross: (to the receptionist) Thank you for a delightful stay.
Monica: Hmm, I dont know. We really have to talk this through.
Joey: Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
Joey: Well because you didn't give me advice! No! You gave me a pickup line! As soon as I told her I wanted to y'know, build a foundation and be friends first. I suddenly, through no fault of my own, became irresistible to her! (Pause) And her roommate!
Phoebe: What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Chandler: (to Monica) You see you cant tell which one is which either, dwha!!
Julie: Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?
Rachel: Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! (crying) And it was uneven for weeks!
(They move into a space, and Ross points to his eyes and then to hers)
Chandler: I used to undress my cousin Glenn. (Monica looks at him then sushes him.)
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. (they hug again)
Chandler: Ross, I am not gonna run away again! I just want to get a little fresh air.
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
Monica: Yeah, I'm sure your ex-wife will be more than happy to move to another country so you can patch things up with your new wife.
RICHARD: Oh, hey. I love children, I have children. I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start.
Ross: Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Written by: Marta Kauffman & David Crane Transcribed by: Coffee Mug Russian to Roman alphabet: Gabriela Horber
Minister: Friends. Family. We are gathered to celebrate here today the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always. Now Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily...
Director: Okay, heres where we go to the live shot of Times Square, nice work everyone thats a wrap!
Phoebe: Okay. Do you guys want me to play for you?
Will: Mrs. Altman? She also made out with Takaka Ci-Kek the night before he went back to Thailand.
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Monica: All right fine! If it means that much to you! But justtheres gonna be a ton left over.
Monica: Well, tonight waswas going to be my first time.
(The doctors don't know what to make of all this.)
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
GUY: [to Phoebe] I hear you can get people out of here.
(Rachel goes up to the door of their bathroom)
Janine: Joey, you dont have to count down every time we kiss.
Matress King: (on TV) Despair fills the mattress showroom. My kingdom is suddenly without a queen. Im so depressed Im going to slash... my prices!! Check it out! Four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set! Im going medieval on prices!
Joey: Well nothing yet, they really hate you and I want to fit in.
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Phoebe: (Turning to Chandler) where were you standing?
RACHEL: Ohh, I'm gonna have to get over it. God, see I didn't know that's I had to do, I just have to get over it.
Monica: No I'm not sure that it's the best way to hear everything. Someone get me a glass!
Joey: Well, who's to say what's true? I mean...
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
Monica: Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game?
Rachel: You want me to just quit my job so that you can feel like youve got a girlfriend?
Pete: Well, if that were true, Id dating my Aunt Ruth. And the two times we went out were just plain awkward. (to Rachel) Come on, you think she should go out with me, dont you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]