words in movies
Monica: So the wedding caterer sent me this list of twelve appetizers and I have to narrow it down to six.
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
Chandler: Oh since forever! I used to go all over town listening to bands!
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Chandler: Do you want me to call?
Monica: No, Ill do it. You just stick to your job.
Ross: (noticing a beautiful woman moving in down the street) Well hello! Shes cute! Should we uh, go try to talk to her?
Chandler: Sure! Thats one of the great things about being engaged. Im not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore.
Ross: Kristen, hi. Are you uh, new to the area, cause if you are Id love to show you around sometime.
Ross: Yknow actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what hes talking about.)
Chandler: (To Ross) Smooth.
Kristen: (To Chandler) Excuse me? (Chandler does the shy thing again.)
Ross: Umm, say youre gonna be starving after all this moving. What do you say I take you to dinner tonight?
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Thank you Rachel but, look at Monica!
Monica: No, I cant afford this either. No. I-I-Im, Im just to figure out which one I want then Im gonna get it at Kleinmans, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale.
Megan: Oh Im not, I just like to try these on.
Megan: (To Monica) So when are you getting married?
Rachel: Oh yknow what? Yknow what? Now that you know what you want you should go to Kleinmans and get it half off. This place is so overpriced.
Kristen: Oh okay. But yknow what? Be careful. Because a guy was helping me before had to leave because he hurt his back.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Right down there. (Points.) Hey listen; let me give you a little tip. Do not take a nap on this stoop (Points to hers) or you can wake up with your shoes gone.
Joey: Okay. Yeah. Listen would you uh, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
Joey: Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, Ill grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
[Scene: Kleinmans, a horde of women including Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica are waiting for the store to open.]
Rachel: (To Phoebe) So this is Brooklyn.
Monica: All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what youre looking for! (Holds up a picture of it.) Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? (She passes out whistles to them.) Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running.
(A worker comes to open the door and the horde starts to press forward.)
Monica: (To Rachel) Hey! Dont be a baby!
(The door opens allowing the horde to charge in, knocking Rachel out of the way and to the ground.)
Monica: No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Dont crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, its perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) Im sorry, this ones taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
Megan: Look, you dont want to fight me.
[Cut to Phoebe in another part of the store.]
Phoebe: Okay! (Runs that way and hears another whistle blast.) Hey! (Heads the other way and hears another blast.) What do I do?!! (She runs in the second direction and finds that the whistling is coming from inside a rack. She moves the dresses out of the way to find Rachel curled up in a fetal position frantically blowing on the whistle.) What are you doing? (Rachel doesnt stop.) Did you find the dress? (Rachel wont stop so Phoebe pinches her nose shut which causes her to spit the whistle out.)
Phoebe: IWe gotta get Monica. (She starts to leave.)
(She gets to Monica who has the dress balled up in one hand and is sitting on Megan who is sprawled out on the floor.)
Monica: NOW!!!!!!!! (Rachel runs off and Monica gets up to follow her.)
Ross: Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying shed like to go out again.
Ross: Yeah in fact, Im gonna go call her right now. And Ill make sure to tell her my friend Chandler says (He mimics the shy reaction Chandler did.)
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, Im dating this girl whos also seeing another guy. But, I dont know, Im not to worried about it.
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Chandler: So this is nice! I wish I didnt have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, whats the name the girl youre dating?
Joey: Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction
Ross: Maybe Ill take her to that new French restaurant down the street
Joey: Ah yeahwait a second now! Look were gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I dont have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
Joey: All right, well I guess Ill just have to do what I do on dates.
(Rachel goes to the fridge, opens it, and blows on the whistle Monica gave her at the store, which causes Phoebe and Monica to turn around and look at her.)
Phoebe: Well just figure out a way to talk him out of it.
Joey: I just wanted to come by and yknow, wish you good luck on your date.
Joey: Oh. Well good! (To himself) For me. (He picks up a jar of lotion.) What is this? Did you give yourself a facial?
Chandler: Joey got meat sauce on the banister again! (He goes into the bathroom to wash his hands.)
Monica: Phoebe, hes gotta be in the room for that to work.
Monica: Well umm, we were just talking about the yknow, the Swing Kings and just wondering whether yknow, they were the right way to go.
Rachel: Yeah, I went to a wedding once where they had swing music and uh, two months later the couple got divorced. And now Im not saying that theres any connection here yknow, but they did tell me thats why they got divorced.
Chandler: Look all I know is when Monica and I went to see them, we had fun! And theres another reason too.
Chandler: I dont want to say.
Rachel: Well you have to because maybe its stupid.
Chandler: Well its just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was the first time I knew that you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with.
[Scene: Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matired.]
Ross: Hi. (They shake hands.) Its nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I dont anymore.
Joey: Sure! I would love to wait with you guys! Thanks! (Sits down.)
Kristen: Well Joey doesnt like to talk about it but, hes one of the stars of Days Of Our Lives.
Joey: So yknow Ross its funny cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
Ross: Yes. And another time after that. Boy Im getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
Monica: Oh. I guess you can. Okay but; I-I have to return it, so you cant like it.
Chandler: Yeah, thats like the most ugliest dress Ive ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
(They all slowly turn around to reveal that they are giving themselves a facial.)
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
Rachel: Oh no, my dad's a doctor and he would always tell me just horror stories (stops and tries to change directions) about ghosts and goblins who totally supported the princess's right to smoke.
CHANDLER: Hey, listen.� I'm never going to lie to you again, okay?� And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.
Monica: People have got to finish their stories!
Ross: Its worth the pain. (She goes to hug him again.) Yknow what, you know what? Its not.
Monica: Okay. Im guessing that if you dont want to deliver, you probably dont want to pick stuff up either.
[Cut to the casino, Monica is walking through it past the craps table when she notices a chip on the floor. She picks it up and heads to the table.]
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Monica hold back.]
Monica: Ross and I always wanted to be Donny and Marie.
(He puts his leg up on the table to pass Joey the cookies, and Phoebe sees what the guys are laughing at, and gasps.)
Ross: Well, these. These are yours right here. (Pointing to the boxes they just created for her.)
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Joey: Not anymore. So anyway, how do you want to pay me?
Joey: Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Pheebs.
(Camera cuts to Chandler and Ross at table.)
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
Ross: No, Im serious. You-you need to find out where she is, because if shes not where you are, then you can start to move past this.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
Chandler: (sigh)... And where's this money coming from? (gives money to Joey)
Phoebe: Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say (Hits him) 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.
Monica: I dont know, Ive never had to use the other one. Im just saying yknow, if were having sex, hes not gonna be talking.
Emily: I was going to call him, but
ROSS: [pulls the cigarette off his upper lip and hands it to Mr. Greene] Yeah, yes it is, I was just moistening the tip.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe, still defying reality, are now throwing a bouquet at each other, pretending to catch the actual bouquet at an actual wedding.]
Ross: Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?
Monica: And listen to this... (shakes her body so the shells tingle)
Monica: You're going to China?
Ross: I'm going to China.
(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)
Joey: That, is not a cat! {I have to agree with Joey on this one.}
Monica: I dont understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I dont have a boyfriend?
Mr. Tribbiani: (To Phoebe) What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there. Joey is holding a deck of cards out to Chandler.]
Rachel: Ross, shes not weird, she just wants her stuff to be one of a kind.
Chandler: Y'know, I wouldve bet good money that hed be the first one of us to get married.
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Don: Uh, not really. But when it comes to cheese, Im one of the people who thinks the smellier the better.
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
Susan: Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.
Ross: Let me ask you something, at your school was there a like uh a place on campus where students went to uh, fool around.
Monica: (as Rachel) I used to wet my bed.
Conan: For example, I dont have to memorize lines. You guys actually have to remember what to say and you probably forget from time to time. Yes?
Chandler: All right, lets break this down. What exactly did he say to you?
Monica: I don't want her to get a boob job! That's crazy!
Phoebe: Hey Joey, want come with me to… are you ok?
Joey: Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Rachel: Well Joey, youll probably get it. But you should probably your-your gracious loser face. Yknow when like the cameras are on you and you wanna look disappointed but also that your colleague deserved to win. Yknow? So its sorta like (Does it, youll have to see it.)
Ross: (realizes something) The photo album! There were millions of pictures of the apartment in the photo album. We just go through it and match everything to the pictures.
(Joey starts to kiss her.)
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
Ross: So, you gals wanna hand over your money now? That way, we don't have to go through the formality of actually playing.
Monica: No! no! Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying.
The Lurker: (to the guard) Excuse me, sir! This lady played my quarter, this is my money. (Motions to the jackpot.)
JOEY: Phoebs, he's just a little dog. [turns back to the car window and the dog is halfway through it.] Ahhh.
Chandler: Yeah. Good call, nice one. Hold it!! Hold it! What if me eyes are closed, and, and my hand is out there.... (holds his arm out and pretends to grab something with his hand.)
Chandler: Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! (Tries to pantomime it for her.) Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. (Pause.) So, you're old and small.
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
ROSS: Good, good, good. So, is uh, was your moustache, did, used to be different?
(Cut to later. Rachel is in tears)
[Scene: Monica's living room. We look outside to the balcony where Rachel is saying goodbye to Joey.]
Ross: Well maybe he'll get to go soon, like on a class trip or something.
Kate: He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater youre dating.
Chandler: Sorry! I-I-I dont know what to say.
(Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler Oh my God!)
Joey: Yeah? Well look Ross, you don't have to. Okay? It's not your fault I suck. I mean what kind of an actor can't even say, "Hmm, noodle soup." (Nods his head in disgust.)
Monica: What did they do to you?
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
Phoebe: You dont have to put a good spin on everything.
Dana: Apparently Howies editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Yknow I-I-I havent spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor!
Joey: Yeah uh, Phoebe! Look umm, I want to apologize about before, okay? We were being jerks. Parkers a nice guy and Id like to get to know him.
Joey: All right, All right, let's just get this out in the open okay? You're hot. I'm lovable. Clearly there's a vibe going on between us. But, we're roommates and it's a huge mistake for us to continue down this road.
MONICA: Oh God, you are about to get sooo lucky.
[Scene: Estelle's memorial service. Joey is giving a speech. Next to him is a blown op photograph of Estelle behind her desk and there's a man standing next to him.]
Phoebe: Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Rachel: (To Ross) Here's your lemonade.
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
Ross: (stopping her from falling) Okay, okay. Look, you have got to go to a doctor! Okay?
(Monica stands up and wobbles slightly and Chandler runs over to catch her.)
Monica: Hes got something plastic lodged in his throat, weve got to go to the hospital.
Woman: (walking up to Mark) Here's the Shelly Siegal stuff from December.
Joey: I discovered Im able to count all of my teeth using just my tongue.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Rachel: Ok. Oh God. (To Ross) Get the camera, it’s in the diaper bag.
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
[Scene: The guest bedroom. Rachel and Monica are talking to each other.]
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
Phoebe: Oh, it's so romantic to send people off on their honeymoon.
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Chandler: (smiling at Monica) Right. (to Rachel) So how're you doing?
Joey: Okay, time to take off the bra. (She glares at him.)
MONICA: No you're not. You're, you're allergic to lobster and peanuts and--oh my god.
Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing.
RACHEL: Well, I was thinking maybe a um, a romantic dinner with um, candles and wine and then uh, maybe going back to my place for um, dessert.
Ross: I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We- we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he- he threw some faeces...
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
Chandler: So, how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his!
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)