words in movies
[Cut to Ross's apartment. Ross and Rachel are there. It's another scene from 1016 TOW Rachel's Going Away Party.]
Rachel: So if you think I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me.
Rachel: Shh.. Go back to sleep. I have to go home.
Monica: To use the bathroom.
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Ross: Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it!
Ross: Oh, I.. I don't know. We didn't really get to talk.
Ross: I don't know. It was incredible. I mean, it just felt so right. When I was holding her, I mean, I never wanted to let her go. You know what? Yeah, I do. I wanna be together.
Joey: So, so is she still going to Paris?
Ross: I know, me too. It was... You know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be.
Rachel: Uh-huh. I know. It was just, it was just the perfect way to say goodbye. (She hugs him, and Ross looks crushed.)
[Scene: The Hospital. Erica is moaning and about to give birth. Monica, Chandler, a nurse and a doctor are there with her.]
Erica: Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
(Monica walks down to Erica's legs to watch the birth.)
Monica: Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this!
Doctor: Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?
(A nurse gives Monica a pair of scissors. Monica gives it to Chandler, and they cut it together.)
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
(The doctor hands the boy to the nurse, and she walks over to another part of the room with him.)
Monica: (To Erica) Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much.
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Monica: (to the doctor) Wait, did you know it was twins?
Monica: (to Erica) Anybody tell you?
Chandler: Interesting! (To Monica) Can I see you for a second?
(They walk over to the door.)
Monica: Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.
Chandler: Monica, we are not ready to have two babies!
(Monica and Chandler run back to Erica's bed.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Well, now we have one of each! (To the doctor) And that's enough!
Ross: And then she said it was the perfect way to say goodbye.
Ross: Nothing! What do you say to that?
Phoebe: Ross, you've got to tell her how you feel!
Joey: Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language.
Rachel: No, we decided that I would go ahead and set up first, and then my mom would bring Emma to Paris on Sunday.
(Rachel walks up to the counter.)
(Ross walks up to Rachel, but Gunther gets there first.)
Gunther: I... I know you're leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you. I love you.
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
Nurse: We're going to take Erica to recovery now.
Monica: There's something that we wanna tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Erica.
(The nurses take Erica to the recovery room. Monica and Chandler smile at each other.)
Chandler: I know! You ready to trade?
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
Phoebe: Hey. So, did you talk to Rachel?
Ross: No, and I'm not going to.
Ross: Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Gunther. That did not look like fun.
Phoebe: How can you compare yourself to Gunther? I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way. You have a relationship with her, you slept together last night.
Ross: Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where she is.
Ross: Look, even if I were gonna tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time.
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
(He shows them a beautiful banner he has made. It reads, "Welcome to the World, Baby Bing.")
Rachel: Hi! You guys, the car-service just got here. I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!
(They all walk over to see the baby.)
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
Chandler: Yeah. It's a shame you two didn't get to spend more time together.
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
Mike: (To Phoebe) I want one.
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull.
Monica: I'm just so glad you got to see the babies.
Rachel: Me too. Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much.
(She pulls him over to the door.)
Rachel: I just want you to know.. Last night.. I'll never forget it.
Rachel: Alright, now I really have to go. Okay. Au revoir! Oh, they're gonna really hate me over there.
Joey: Yeah. You know? You just... Look, you gotta... You gotta think about last night the way she does, okay? Maybe, maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye?
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
(Monica and Chandler look shocked as Ross goes to leave.)
Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?
Phoebe: You didn't bring one! My cab's downstairs, I'll drive you to the airport.
Man: Hey! The law says you have to accept any fare.
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Phoebe: Do you wanna get to Rachel in time?
(They drive up to a toll-booth.)
(Ross tries to open a plastic bag filled with quarters, but he's quite slow.)
(Phoebe tries to throw some quarters out the window, but she has forgotten to open the window, and she and Ross scream.)
Joey: Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck!
(Monica turns around and is about to leave when she steps on something.)
Monica: I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor.
Joey: Does that mean we have to bust it open?
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
Ross: To talk to Rachel, isn't that why we took a ride in the death-cab?
Phoebe: What? What are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?
Phoebe: You have to get a ticket to get past security.
(They run to the ticket counter, but they get stuck behind a group of old people who are walking very slowly.)
[Scene: The gate. Rachel walks up to the man at the gate and gives him her passport.]
Phoebe: Just one? I drive you all the way down here, and I don't get to see how it works out?
(She runs up to the gate and the gate attendant standing there.)
[Scene: The ticket-counter. Ross and Phoebe have their tickets and start looking at the screens in order to find the gate.]
Ross: Okay, flight 421 to Paris. I don't see it, do you see it?
(She holds the phone down to the twins.)
(She holds down the phone to the twins again.)
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Chandler are still trying to get the birds out of the foosball-table.]
(Joey picks up a hammer and a crowbar and gets ready to destroy the table.)
Joey: I need to say goodbye to the table first.
Chandler: We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it!
(Monica grabs the hammer and the crowbar and gets ready to bust it open.)
(She lets go of the steering wheel to get her cell-phone from her purse. Ross screams and reaches over in order to hold onto the wheel. Cut to the plane. Rachel is sitting in her seat when her cell-phone rings.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport.
(Phoebe tries to give her phone to Ross, but he won't take it. He mouths "no.")
Phoebe: Uhm, actually no. No, you've... You have to get off the plane.
(The passenger in the seat next to Rachel looks at her and seems a little nervous.)
Rachel: Alright, look, I have to go. I love you, and I will call you the minute I get to Paris.
Passenger #1: I have to get off this plane, okay? Her friend has a feeling something's wrong with the left Philange.
Monica: Yeah, they were just slowing me down. Alright, I have to get back to the babies. I'll see you girls later.
Chandler: Aww, we were worried about you! Hm. I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?
Joey: Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit.
[Scene: The gate at the airport. The passengers are standing in line, and they're about to board the plane again.]
(Rachel walks up to the gate. Cut to Ross and Phoebe who come running up to the gate.)
Ross: No, no, I just have to talk to someone.
(Rachel comes back to the gate.)
Ross: I know, I know. I shouldn't have waited 'till now to say it, but I'm.. That was stupid, okay? I'm sorry, but I'm telling you now. I love you. Do not get on this plane.
Rachel: I - I have to get on the plane.
Joey: Yeah. Uh, does this mean there's nothing to eat?
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, he talked to her, but she got on the plane anyway.
Phoebe: He went home. He didn't want to see anybody.
Rachel: (on the answering machine) Ross, hi. It's me. I just got back on the plane. And I just feel awful. That is so not how I wanted things to end with us. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things... And... And now I'm just sitting here and thinking of all the stuff I should have said, and I didn't. I mean, I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too. Because of course I do. I love you. I love you. I love you. What am I doing? I love you! Oh, I've gotta see you. I've gotta get off this plane.
Rachel: (on the answering machine) I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I need to get off the plane, okay? I need to tell someone that I love love them.
Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat.
Ross: Try to understand!
(The message is finished. Ross jumps over to the answering machine.)
Chandler: (to his children) Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal!
Monica: Wait a minute. What about that summer during college that you lived with grandma, and you tried to make it as a dancer?
(Chandler and Monica walk over to the kitchen-counter and leave their keys. Then the other four pick out their keys and leave them as well.)
Rachel: (crying) Do you guys have to go to the new house right away, or do you have some time?
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
Ross: Look, Im not trying to get out of anything, okay. I thought our relationship was dead!
Ross: Really, it would be good for you and in fact, why don�t you, why don�t you go ahead to the restaurant and I will wait for my mom and then I�ll meet you there.
Joey: We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that Ill be there as soon as I can.
Helen: (Over the intercom) Nina Bookbinder is here to see you.
JOEY'S CO-STAR: Yeah, I'm movin' to a bigger place. You should definitely take this one.
Rachel: (entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
Ross: Uhh, okay, its uh, Emily and I, we decided to uh, to get married.
Gavin: Mom, I'll call you later. Yeah. (hangs up) (to Rachel) Yes?
Chandler: (Hands the tape back to him) I'm sorry man.
Monica: Why don't you just have a seat here? (he sits at the table, then tries to secretly eat the Gummi-bears. Monica spots him.) OK... give me the Gummi-bears.
Joey: Y'know what, I dont think we should listen to this anymore. (Goes to open the door)
[Scene: The hallway in Ross's building. Joey and Rachel are on their way to Ross's dinner.]
Rachel: Okay. (They start to head for the bedroom) Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan?
Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? Im sorry.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
Frank: Oh come on we went, we went to Time Square, we found ninja stars, I almost got arm broken by a hooker...
Big Nosed Rachel: Y'know what? I've just had it with high school boys! They are just silly. (Ross is overhearing this.) Silly, stupid boys! I'm going to start dating men!
(She turns out the lights and in the darkened room Chandler starts to moan.)
Hypnosis Tape: You do not need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. (Joey walks out smiling to himself.)
(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)
[Cut to Living Room]
Shop assistant: (to a girl) Incentive For Men?
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
ROSS: [to Chandler] So what's it shaped like?
GUNTHER: Um [gestures to dance floor]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mrs. Green is telling Ross what needs to be done to baby proof his apartment.]
(Thinking quickly, Chandler desperately tries to remember anything to do with schizophrenia....)
Phoebe: I dont want to hear about her!!
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Rachel: Well, I'm sorry I'm not going to an eye doctor!
Richard: Of course! Im-Im sorry. I-Id hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. I can do this!
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
Tag: Gotcha. Thanks again for meeting with me. (Starts to leave.)
Chandler: I just wan't to...
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
ROSS: Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.
Ross: What are you doing? We're going to a hospital.
(Ross isn't sure what to do with that comment.)
ROSS: You know, I, I used to, ah, play keyboards in college.
Ross: Isn't Rachel supposed to be back by now?
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
Rachel: Okay, whos next?! (She looks around the room, and stops when she comes to Ross.)
Rachel: No, really. Really, Pheebs, youre not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when theyre bad, yknow, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just wont calm down. Yknow?
(Joey gets up and moves to the other end of his row to talk to the guy sitting there.)
Joey: Do you want me to learn?!
MR. GREENE: To get my coat.
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Phoebe: (to Chandler at the phone) Okay, we-we'll talk to you later. Okay, bye.
Ross: Don't you realise what you're-you're doing to yourself?
Ross: No! For all I know, shes trying to find me but couldnt because I kept moving around. No, from now on, Im staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right here.
Rachel: Whoops. (Starts to go into Chandler and Joeys.) Oh, hey, do you need help with that?
Chandler: Yeah, and there's a bowl of cranberry sauce that... (speaking lower to Monica) what happens to cranberry sauce?
JANITOR: So, what is this information worth to you, my friend?
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
Rachel: Anyway, um, (Gets the ring out of her purse.) I guess this belongs to you. And thank you for giving it to me.
Judy: Well, we better get going, it's late. Jack's not allowed to drive at night anymore. He has trouble staying in his lane.
Chandler: (Points to one) Thats one?
ROSS: Look, I know you don't want to hear this right now but, we've seen him in his new place, alright. And he's happy, he's, he's decorated.
Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, Im sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10.
Agency guy: So, these are the preliminary forms for an open adoption. There's a lot to go over, but I'll explain everything as we go through it.
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
Chandler: Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more important things to worry about.
JOEY: No, that means nothin to me.
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
[Cut to Living Room]
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
[Scene: The museum, Joey is giving a tour to a bunch of school kids.]
Susan: But um, we just refer to you as Bobo the Sperm Guy.
[Cut back to Rachels party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
ROSS: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.
Ross: Well... (realizes, screaming like a little girl, trying to get rid of the spider) Whaa... aaah... aaahhh...
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
Rachel: Joey! Joey, good one! (Mr. Thompson starts to laugh.)
Chandler: Well, I dont have to buy that, "Im with stupid" T-shirt anymore.
[Cut to Monica's bedroom]
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Gary: Phoebe, you don't have to say that.
[they both try to drink while continuously stirring]
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Roy: So where's the young lady who I'm supposed to take (he shakes his hips) downtown! (Monica points Phoebe)
Ross: (to Joey) So? What do you think? (Shows himself - Joey observes him with a strange look on his face.)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
Ross: (interrupting) No, Rach, no. I dont, I dont, I dont have to think about it, in fact, Ive decided, Ive decided that, that it.......does.
Girl: I just remembered, I have to do something.
Phoebe: Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly its my book to the rescue, huh? (Reading her book) Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
[Cut to Living Room]
Monica: What?! I didn't take care of everything, there's-there's plenty of things for you to do!
Kate: Ive got no reason to stay.
Ross: (Excited) You're never going to guess who I just saw downstairs!
JADE: Oh, Bob, he was nothing compared to you. I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming your name.
RACHEL: It was nice to meet you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is talking to a customer.]
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?