words in movies
Monica: I know...God. I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up with double-stuffed Oreos. What happened to all our money?
Chandler: I'm not sure what they did, but I'm inclined to blame Enron.
Monica: Oh, But you're finally doing something that you love! I can't ask you to give that up. Though it'd be nice if the thing that you love was y'know... finding gold.
Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was... well to always knock before going into the pool house... but the other thing was never borrow money.
Chandler: That's right! I do! And I'm your man. And I'm going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
Mike: I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get some more clothes.
Phoebe: Oh...you don't have to go, I have something that will fit you.
Phoebe: I want you to stay.
Mike: I want to stay too but I've gone as bad as much use out of these boxers as I can..
Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?
Phoebe: Wow, Mike Hannigan...You sure know how to make a girl say "Hell yeah!"
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together!
Phoebe: I've always wanted to live with a guy. "Pick up your socks!" "Put down the toilet seat!" "No! We're not having sex anymore!" It's gonna be fun!
Monica: Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler.
Monica: (Looks exasperated) Ok first of all...It would be great. But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. I need to borrow some money.
Rachel: Oh er... well you know Emma started crawling? I realised that this place, is very unsafe for a baby. So I went to the store and got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment.
Monica: Anyway erm, are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff?
Rachel: No. I was just going to do this myself. (Joey makes a sarcastic laugh.)
Mike: I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!
Mike: You ready to go?
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Rachel: This is easy...Can't do this! (Moves away...and finds her sweater sleeve stuck to the drawer) Oh! Wow! Seriously I can't do this. (Fiddles more)
Chandler: Listen er..I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it.
Joey: (to himself) That's the fastest I have ever thought!
Chandler: Anyway, err... I need to borrow some money.
Joey: Err...Well I...Know how much you used to make and I know how much your rent is. (shrugs)
Joey: (To himself) I am on fire!
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Monica: I don't want her to get a boob job! That's crazy!
Mike: Look. Phoebe, I-I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again.
Phoebe: No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in and you start changing your mind there's gonna be hell to pay mister!
Monica: So you gave in and decided to call someone?
Handyman: You're all set. (picks up his bag and starts to leave)
Rachel: Oh thank you so much. (Picks up the guy's spirit level) Oh oh wait! You forgot your erm...Your game. (hands it to him)
Chandler: Well yes yes... You look nice can mean that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your body. I mean..I wouldn't change it. At all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger.
Chandler: I mean, You wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger would you? Don't answer that.
Monica: Oh my god. We're trying to get pregnant so he's probably starting to freak out about the fact that my body is going to change.
Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.
Phoebe: Listen, I wanted to ask you something about marriage.
Ross: Oh great now you're seeking me out to make jokes? I mean I can see for all hanging out but to come to my home!
Phoebe: No...I really wanted to know how you feel about it.
Ross: wow, are you still going to move in with him?
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Ross: The Divorcer, to the rescue!
Joey: Rach?! (He walks over to the fridge to put it in, but it cannot be opened either) Rachel!!!!? (He walks to the bathroom and tries to lift the toilet seat cover. It won't come up.) So I can't do anything I like????
Monica: About that? Erm...I'm going to change.
Chandler: But honey you don't have to.
Monica: I'm going to get bigger!
Monica: Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too.
Chandler: God why why would you want to do that to yourself!?
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Rachel: Oh my god Chandler! If you can't handle this, what are you going to be like in the hospital? With the blood and the screaming and the little present that's shooting out of her!?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. He's prying open the drawer with a crowbar to no avail. Monica, Rachel and Chandler enter.]
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you know I'm i'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful.
Rachel: Yeah, seriously coz this is really heavy. (She suddenly lets go) I mean not for me because i'm only pretending to hold this, but for these guys.
Mike: No but... You don't want to get married either right?
Phoebe: Right. Except that I do want to get married.
Phoebe: Because I just didn't know how much I wanted it. And I love you, and I wanted to live with you.
Mike: I want to live with you too! Let's do that!
Phoebe: But I don't think I can! it was ok to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen.
Phoebe: Me neither. I think I need to be with someone who wants what I want.
Mike: But I don't want this to end.
Phoebe: I don't want it to end either.
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. (they hug again)
Joey: AH HAH! I DID IT! HA HA! Alright... (He takes a box out, about to close fridge, then thinks.) Better take all I can carry. Who knows when i'll be able to get in here again!
Rachel: I just want you to know.. Last night.. I'll never forget it.
Phoebe: Oh please, somebody tell me I dont have to go to work today!
[cut to later]
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You cant, their dead.
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are there waiting for Chandler's cyberchick to arrive]
Phoebe: I dont know, they both want to live in a house of cheese! I dont know how you fight that.
Rachel: Well, I have to say that earns tutu pieces of candy.
Joey: Interesting. all right I'll go out with her again and try to get past it (reaches for the chips) OH SALT BLOATY!
MONICA: That'll teach you to lick my muffin.
MONICA: That's good, have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's gotta be a needle. You're just gonna have to be brave, ok? Can you do that for me?
(Monica walks in, starts to go out on the balcony.)
Chandler: Well, its good that you finally have a place to do that.
Joey: Hey, uhh, I need to talk to you.
Monica: Of course! (She mouths, "I have no idea," to the rest of the gang.)
EDDIE: Ok, then I want to hear you say it, I, I want to hear you say you want me out.
Phoebe: Great! Okay, if youll just excuse me. (To the guy) So, did you hear something you liked?
ROSS: Fine, OK! Heat, heat, heat, and I'm the obsessive one. [goes to the radiator and starts turning the knob] OK, this way is on, so this is. . . [breaks off the knob] off.
Leslie: Well, I y'know, I was just, umm, I was just thinking and hoping, that umm, maybe youd want to get back together?
Phoebe: Huh, well, the girls in the satin nighties on the commercial dont seem to think its that bad.
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
Chandler: Monica, could you excuse us for a second? I need to talk to the girl with the flowers.
Phoebe: (coming in from the bathroom) Oh, good, good, you guys are here! Listen, how would like to spend tomorrow taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?!
Rachel: (looks at Monica) (to him) Do you want my pickle?
Chandler: You have to give 'em something, you know. Okay, now that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the moustache?
Chandler: Ill look forward to your call. (Walks away.)
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
RACHEL: What happened to uh, MEG.?
Ross: I see. So what do you propose to do?
Rachel: Phoebe, your in pain, would you just go to the dentist, just go.
Chandler: (To Ross) I dont care, she slept with me.
Rachel: But y'know, I never really had anything to worry about. Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Airline Employee: Sir! Im afraid Im gonna have to ask you to leave.
Phoebe: Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.
Phoebe: Cups and ice? Ooh, I get to be in charge of cups and ice? (Thinks of something) All right. Fine, okay, I will be in charge of cups and ice!
Phoebe: I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me.
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Chandler: (to Monica) Actually hes the smallest person in the world.
Rachel: Chandler, arent you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Phoebe: But umm, I mean, did you talk to them about, y'know
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
Monica: Hey, honey, my test is down the hall, are you sure you're going to be ok?
Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.
MNCA: [to Ross] Listen, I... I don't think this is the best time.
Rachel: (coming over to Ross, who is just getting up) Are you okay?
Ross: That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
[cut to Ross and Monica.]
Assistant: Mississippi? I said count to five'!
Joey: (entering) Hey, Chandler, you got a minute? I-I really need to talk to you.
[cut to Chandler, Joey, and Margha.]
Monica: Please, guys, we have to talk.
JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh?
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
[Scene: The airport, Ross is about to walk off of the plane with Julie.]
(Ross and Chandler move closer to her and she starts laughing again.)
Chandler: I think I know what you mean though...the lamp is the hotel's, but the bulbs (goes to take the bulb)...oh, you already got that.
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
Chandler (to Rachel): What am I gonna do now?
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Ross: And you know I wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her.
[Scene: The hallway of Monica's building. Phoebe and Rachel are trying to find the cat's owner.]
Chandler: (to Margha) Hi.
Joey: Its hard, y'know, his huddle is closer to Dutch girl.
MONICA: My brother, the PhD would like to know if there's any way to treat this orally.
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
Gunther: (To the guy) Get out!
Rachel: Oh my God, what happened? (points to the cast on Janice's wrist)
Phoebe: Stop it! Stop it, before someone gets really hurt! (they stop and Phoebe gets David's jacket and gives it to him) Here David, you should just go.
Rachel: Oh, its okay. (starts to leave)
Passenger #1: I have to get off this plane, okay? Her friend has a feeling something's wrong with the left Philange.
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
Phoebe: IWe gotta get Monica. (She starts to leave.)
MONICA: Stop sending food to our apartment.
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Ross: That only is not funny, it's physically impossible! Ok? Depending on the species I'd have to have a six foot long... (pause) It's not funny!!
Chandler: He could be alone. This morning I heard him do push-ups, and then talk to his triceps.
Phoebe: No! Think about it, its a taxi that people take when they need to relax, its
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
(Ross comes out of character to glare into the distance.)
Phoebe: (picking up her bag) All right, so promise you're gonna wait for her to call you?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is a beeping noise coming from the living room and Phoebe sleepily goes to investigate.]
MONICA: Hey, I've come to terms with it, you have to too.
Monica: (entering from her room) Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey.
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
(Ross pauses and looks at him, Joey motions for him to hurry up.)
Chandler: All right, so who do you got it narrowed down to?
Ross: That's funny, that, no, because, uh, our parents actually did, uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.
Rachel: Well, let's see... uh... I know that she has a meeting with her lawyer and then she has to make a very big poop. Why?
Rachel: You see, now, I would date this girl. Shes cute, shes outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, thats got to come in handy
Monica: (To Ross) Cassie needs to stay at your place.
Rachel: (to Chandler) Eh, do you believe that?
Chandler: (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
Chandler: This is terrible. What am I going to do?