words in movies
Rachel: So, which of this kitchen stuff is mine?
Monica: This bottle opener. (She grabs it off of the freezer door.)
Ross: Oh my God! I-I see what this is! You are in love with Rachel!
Phoebe: Well, she told me that Im gonna die this week, so Im kinda bummed about that.
Phoebe: Oh, this is it. This whats gonna kill me.
Joey: (reads it) Oh, I cant believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, yknow? And it wouldnt matter. Now I gotta be careful?!
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-you go to the doctor!
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Ross: Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.
Ross: Monica you really think I should try this phasing out thing?
[Scene: Casting Director #2s office, Joey is on his second audition. This one is for Purina One Dog Chow, an actual item. Please note the gratuitous product placement.]
Rachel: Okay! (Picks up the phone and starts dialing.) (In an Irish accent) "Hello Ross, this is Dr. McNeeley from the Fake Accent University, wed like you to come on board with us full time! (Hangs up.)
Phoebe: Listen to this! My reading was wrong, Im not going die!
Chandler: But are you sure you can do this?
The Director: Hey Joey, were ready for ya! (Joey stumbles over) Joey, this is Alex hes going to be playing your son.
The Director: Okay. (to Alex) All right uh, Alex now when Joey says his line, "Take good care of your Momma son," thats your cue to cry. Got it? (Alex nods yes.) All right, lets do this.
The Director: Cut! Alex, remember youre supposed to cry. Can you cry for us this time?
The Director: All right! Lets try this again! You ready Joe?
Chandler: Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
Russell: Yes, this Russell, Rosss divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I havent heard from him, I assume hes decided to give the marriage a try.
Ross: (in his head) All right, keep going. We are phasing the accent out, phasing it out. So without out re-testing the results in the laboratory (pronounced the British way) the team would never have identified (British) the initial errors in their carbon dating analysis (British). Were there any questions at this point? (One student raises his hand.) Yes. (Points to him.)
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
(At this moment Rachel bursts through the door. Needless to say, shes not in the best of moods having just found out Rosss dirty little secret.)
Phoebe: Have you really done this before?
Mindy: Um.. we should really be sitting for this.
Rachel: Well, yknow this whole marriage thing, kinda my idea.
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
Rachel: At his apartment. Is this juice?
Chandler: This is the New York Times.
Phoebe: This is so great.
Phoebe: Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! (Answering the phone.) Go!! Whos this? (Listens) Oh okay, youre gonna like working for me. Whats your name? (Listens) What kind of name is Brendy? I Whatever Stop talking! All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.
Ross: I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was?
Rachel: Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
Monica: And listen to this... (shakes her body so the shells tingle)
Monica: I dont understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I dont have a boyfriend?
The Interviewer: Umm, Im gonna just go get this warmed up. (She takes her coffee mug up to the counter.)
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
Rachel: Joey, just because theyre not getting married doesnt mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
Rachel: Me too. Oh, I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much.
Rachel: Who's this from?
Chandler: (seriously) It means that we can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for us.
Monica: I can't believe he did this.
Chandler: All right, lets break this down. What exactly did he say to you?
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dead.
Rachel: I mean, this is unbelievable.
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
Monica: Maybe this wasn't your shot.
Amy: No, she was this really dorky girl in high school that used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog.
Joey: Yeah, I (Shuts off the TV.) I dont want Stevie to see her like this.
Joey: Why are you taking this away from me?
Phoebe: (looks at the amount on the check, and gasps) Well, this is very generous!
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
Joey: Um, this?
Chandler: Well, this is fascinating. So, uh, what is it about me?
Joeys Head: Okay, it all comes down to this. Whatever happens, happens. Destiny.
Julie: ...and this guy...
Chandler: I dont think weve actually done this before!
Phoebe: Um, well, Max told me about Minsk, so (Puts on a fake cheery voice) congratulations! This is so exciting!
Ross: Oh, oh, we did say wed stop by this little thing Joeys roommate is having.
Rachel: Chandler, you stole this cheesecake. That is wrong.
Monica:: Oh well this is the only one they had at our video store, but they did have something called crocodile killers. Or does it always have to be sharks?
Monica: How can you smoke in this day of age? Do you not seen that ad with a little kid walks to grandpa, it�s chilling.
Monica: (she hugs Chandler) Honey, you've been really strong about this, I know how badly you wanted that job.
PHOEBE: Hey Rach, wanna hear the new song I'm thinkin' of singing this afternoon? I wrote it this morning in the shower.
Ross: Um. I know it says black tie optional, but, um this may be pushing it a little, um.
Chandler: (sarcastic) For an emergency just like this.
Ross: Im giving this lecture on erosion theories tomorrow night, I think you should come.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Vince: Phoebe, Phoebe relax, its okay. I mean we never said this was exclusive.
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Rachel: Oh, this is so cute.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
Chandler: It's fine, it's fine. Look, do you wanna get this part, or not? Here.
Rachel: (breaking up) Were just really very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
(She is wearing this giant straw hat, the brim on it must be at least, least foot wide.)
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Receptionist: Well, I think this is a great place to work!
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
Chandler: No, there are great pictures of you standing next to a guy whos going like this (Makes what can only be described as a toothy frown. Henceforth, this shall be known as The Face.)
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
CHANDLER: Ok, this could be tough.
Mona: Yknow, every year I say Im gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together?
Monica: This doesnt mean anything, does it?
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Dr. Rosen: This hummus is great.
Monica: No. I hate this part.
Joey: A little more, a little more. (she stuffs some more down his pants and Joey's assesses the how many there already are in there.) A little more... All right. Okay, all right, let's do this.
Joey: I know! Im sorry! The guys drunk, they wont let me go until we get this.
Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usually hes got the childrens hospital.
Rachel: Oh my god, this is the worst date ever!
Nurse: This almost never happens!
Ross: A big idiot. Just you have to realize is, this whole Mark thing is kinda hard for me.
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? (They're all quiet.) I'm actually asking you!
Ross: Yeah! Theyre putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channels gonna film it!
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.
Chandler: How do you know so much about this?
Joey: (returning from a deli) Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich in the world!
FBOB: OK, look, this isn't the first time somebody's said something to me about this, but, I don't know... I always made excuses about it, like... uhhh... 'I'm just a social drinker,' or, 'C'mon, it's Flag Day.'
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
Ross: What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason?
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
Joey/Drake: Oh, what about this one.
Phoebe: (gasps) Another amazing find! Wow! Oh I bet this has a great story too!
Phoebe: Ok, well, alright, who thinks the food is fine, the music was fine, but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll taking? (all raise their hands).
ROSS: Women really want this?
Ross: Why dont we talk about this on the way to the hospital?
Chandler: (to his children) Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal!
Monica: All right, look, I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel better, its all your fault.
Chandler: (nervous smile) You can't make this stuff up!
JOEY: But this is a two line part, it's like takin' a step backwards. I'm not gonna do this.
Joey: (talking to a pineapple in his hand) God, you're beautiful...why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do.
Phoebe: (entering) Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank.
Gunther: Okay, here are the tips for this morning. Jen gets 50, 50 for me, and Joey owes eight dollars.
Chandler: Oh wow! Is that what this all have been about?
Chandler: Dear God! This parachute is a knapsack! (throws himself over the back of the chair he was sitting in)