words in movies
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Phoebe: Okay, let's discuss Rachel's birthday. I say we throw a surprise party this weekend.
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Kim: So it's down to these two, Nancy I know you like this one and I think I agree. Rachel, what do you think?
Rachel: Well umm, that one is pretty but uh, I just, I just love this fabric (On the other one.) Sorry.
Kim: I don't know which one, but I do know I need a cigarette. So what do you say we take a break, we go outside, and we'll figure this out when we come back?
Rachel: I know! It's like I'm being punished for not having this disgusting, poisoning habit!
Rachel: I mean what if this keeps happening? Y'know, they'll-they'll be outside smoking, making all the decisions and I'll just be up in my office breathing my stupid clean air, y'know? And then when the day comes when Kim wants to promote one of us, who do you think she's gonna pick? Me or Smokey Smokerson?
Ross: Oh God, this is so nerve wracking! How-how do you do this?
Joey: Oh this is great! I might actually get to play Ben's dad!
Joey: Man, this is gonna be kinda weird.
Phoebe: Is it okay if I leave this stuff here 'til Rachel's birthday party?
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Joey: That's it? You're-you're gonna let me do this?! This-this is my career we're talking about here!
Joey: Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesnt get it?
Joey: Yeah! Because this commercial belongs to me and Mitch!
Rachel: Well-well that's 'cause I went down there and they were all smoking. This is actually the smell of success.
Chandler: Okay, but you gotta push past this because it is about to get so good!
Joey: Well this is noodle soup and uh, I've been working with tomato. But that's okay, no problem. No problem. Hmm, noodle soup.
Kim: Forget it Rachel! We're both so proud of how well you're doing. I'm not gonna let you blow it. In fact, if I catch you with a cigarette, you're fired. So go on, get out of here! Go on, I don't want you breathing this stuff! Go on!
Rachel: Oh my God! You guys this is so great! I mean it's so unexpected! I mean Chandler's birthday is even before mine!
Rachel: Wow! This is great! Look at all these cups! This is so weird.
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
MONICA: Ross, I thought you were over this.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I met this woman. (Starts for his room.)
ROSS: Naa. A while ago I got a sah out of him, which I thought, ya know, might turn into sah-condary caregiver but... Hey, would you uh, would you hold him for a sec, 'cause I, I gotta take this off.
Ross: Y'know what? It sounds so weird to say this but, I just had a great day with Janice!
Phoebe: Forget her! You enjoy this!! (Pulls him back up and starts applauding again. Joey waves and does a salute.]
MONICA: Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other.
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Phoebe: Well I guess its okay to open one more if its part of a set. Yknow, its probably this one. (Grabs another small one.)
Joey: (To Monica) Who the hell is this guy?
RACH: Oh, oh, this is good, this is really good.
MRS GREEN: Look at this.
CHANDLER: Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?
Monica: Oh my god, Joey, for all we know this guy could be horribly...
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
PHOEBE: Oh alright, stop, STOP THE MADNESS. This is crazy. Who can even remember why this even started in the first place?
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Chandler: (on the phone) Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and.. (listens) Uh-huh... Uh-huh... okay... thank you. Good-bye. (hangs up looking very confused).
(Upon hearing this, Monica starts to break down and storms out. Only to be stopped by her parents.)
Amy walks over to the couch and sits down next to Rachel: Ucch. <pauses> Uchh <louder this time> In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you.
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Chandler: Oh, come on! Its not like this is an everyday occurrence for me! I mean usually Im pretty much just in there by myself.
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
ROSS: I can't believe this.
Chandler: Its okay, I want this to be your night too. (Raises his class.) To Monica.
Chandler: Yeah o-okay, but Im just doing this for you.
Chandler: You are, youre gonna leave me like this?
Joey: Uhh, Ms. Phalange, may I ask you a question as an impartial person at-at this table?
Rachel: I dont know, you thought See you Saturday was funny. Look honey, Mark is in fashion okay, I like having a friend that I can share this stuff with. You guys would never want to go to a lecture with me.
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
Joey: No, I know, yeah I know we're great but Rach no... this... this can't happen!
ERICA: Is this true?
ERICA: Is all this true?
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Rachel: OK, I'm guessing this is from...
Monica: Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out?
JOEY: Huh? Never really thought about the writers. The scripts just kinda come to my house. But you know what? This makes me look good, which makes the show look good, which makes the writers look good so how could they be mad about that?
Monica: Oh, I love this street. The trees, the big front yards, the actual picket fences.
Chandler: Yknow what? I cant believe this! Do you know what you did? My girlfriend is out there thinking things over! You made my girlfriend think!!
Phoebe: We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! (Others start to agree but she continues) OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.
Rachel: Well Chandler, what is this very weird, metal A Z thing?
Rachel: All right. Well, if I gonna do this, I'd better keep going.
Rachel: Oh my god. Ok you guys, theres Danny. Watch. Just watch this. (He walks past the couch to the counter.) See?! Still pretending hes not interested. Ohh, hes coming over. Just pretend like we dont know him. Weve forgotten who he is.
SUSIE: This is for the fourth grade.
CHANDLER: No, no, this is the first time.
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)
Phoebe: Oh, they see us! Oh, they, they look mad. Oh, they figured it out. They're coming this way. Run!
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
CHANDLER: What's this?
Rachel: (still can't find him) How are you doing this?
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Monica: Youre just new at this, itll get better, think about your first day at work. I mean, that couldnt have been easy but you figured that out.
Leslie: Y'know you could totally sell this. Itd be perfect for like umm, a kitty litter campaign.
Phoebe: See, this is exactly what we do not have time for. (She rushes into her room)
MONICA: So, what's this.
Ross: Marc- oh, this is ridiculous! We've been all over the neighbourhood. He's gone, he's-he's just gone.
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
Phoebe: Oh, I am having the best karma this week. First, I find this woman who knew my parents, and then my client with the fuzzy back gives me his beach house.
Chandler: Thats funny, this conversations how I got the bullet hole in my head.
Joey: Hey what do you say, we move this onto the likes of the couch?
Chandler: (standing in the door of the fridge) Well, I dont have to break up with her this time. Were not involved! Im going to do a pre-emptive strike! Im going to end it with her before it starts. My ass is like frozen! (Closes the fridge.)
Joey: Come on. This guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. Me, I go on three auditions a month and call myself an actor, but Bob is...
Phoebe: This pregnancy is throwing me all off.
ROSS: this summer?
Joey: All right now remember, something this big and long is going to be difficult to manuver, fortunately I have a lot of experience in that area.
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Ross: If like the four of us could all yknow, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emilys coming into town this weekend, why dont you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night?
Emily: (on answering machine) Hello Ross? It's Emily. (Rachel runs back into the room with the tequila.) I know this is out of the blue but uh, I'm getting married tomorrow. Well, maybe I am. I keep thinking about you and I'm wondering if-if we made a mistake giving up so fast. Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.
(She kisses him. Ross leans back for a second, and then they both kiss, more passionately this time as U2's With or Without You plays in the background.)
Monica: You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby!
RACHEL: What's this.
Monica: When we found out that we're gonna get this baby, Chandler and I started talking and we decided that we didn't want to raise a kid in the city.
Chandler: No. This is just part of a dare devil game that I play called wait until the last moment before I burst and die.
Ross: No, come on, he doesnt know this stuff. If he knew how you felt.
Ross: Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Mr. Franklin: But we really do need to find someone up here. The work is starting to pile up. Ive got a stack of documents on my desk this high. (Holds his hand at shoulder level.)
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Rachel: Oh yeah. Okay, see mom, the truth is I can do this on my own.
CHANDLER: I know, this is a great apartment.
Ross: Correct. Rachel claims this is her favorite movie…
Dr. Green: (gets his receipt and notices the twenty) What is this? Who put a twenty down here? Huh?
Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? Ill bet you that shell have it by this time tomorrow.
MONICA: Oh, this is so hard.
Rachel: Oh, oh. (she's holding the present, a transparent bag with a white stick in it). What is this?
Joey: I can't believe I'm hearing this!
Dream Joey: Aww, me too. Now let's finish this and go to bed.
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
Phoebe: Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.
Mr. Geller: Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Mike: I always wanted to play piano professionally, and I figured if I don't do this now, I never will.
Monica: Oh, Ive got it! I have got it! (Gets up and gets something from the dresser underneath the TV.) Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good!
JANITOR: So, what is this information worth to you, my friend?