words in movies
Joey: Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.
Chandler: Where are they? Where are they?
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Rachel: (holds a pair of panties in front of Ross) Ok, Well, what about these are white cotton panties. Would they go with whites or delicates?
Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
(They struggle for the cart. Finally, Rachel climbs inside of it.)
Chandler: I dont know, but dont worry, dont worry, because I know how to take a picture now. (They get ready) Okay, see? Look down (Looks down), look down, look down (He falls asleep.)
Monica: Im gonna miss you! (They hug.)
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What?
(They start to go inside.)
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
All: Aww! (They all laugh.)
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
(They go to the food table.)
Ross: They put that in.
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Rachel: Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.
(They run and hug each other.)
(They leave and Rachel locks the door.)
(They both look at her.)
Chandler: Theyre terrific, and they live right here in the city.
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Monica: Well, its a set and they should probably stay together.
Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so...
Chandler: Oh they didnt want to come!
Joey: (smiling) I don't know. This little, old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off of Days of Our Lives she almost died.
Phoebe: What else do they add smell too?
(They kiss.)
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
(They exit and close the door.)
Rachel: Hey. (they all walk away from Chandler)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, they are all there eating breakfast.]
Monica: Okay, I think thats it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like theyre having fun dont they?
Ross: Come on! (They start to leave.)
(There's a pause as they figure out what to say.)
Monica: Well, I mean what about friends of your grandmothers? Wouldnt they have the recipe?
Janine: They said stuff to me too, yknow!
Joey: I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed!
Joey: I guess they weren't as good friends as we are.
RACHEL: They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
Joey: Hey! (They hug.)
(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)
RACHEL: Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back.
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
(They both sit down.)
Susan: Hey! (They hug.)
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
(She leaves the apartment and they all stare at Ross)
Chandler: Okay! (They both get up.)
(They both laugh.)
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Ross: Yeah? Hop on. (They start dancing and Mona sits down.) Is the pretty lady looking?
(They both scream and jump away.)
(they go into Monica and Rachels, and see Phoebe hopping around.)
Phoebe: I know, theyre gonna be so happy together.
Monica: You are just the sweetest. (They kiss.)
Chandler: Okay. (They hug.)
Joey: Yeah! (They head downstairs.)
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
Rachel: I tried! They won't take her back.
Rachel: My God! (They both run into the bedrooms.)
(As they start back down the couch drops a little bit and gets jammed. They try to free it to no avail.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica answers the door and lets her parents in. They are carrying boxes.]
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Ross: What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone?
(They start making out again.)
(They kiss.)
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Ross: Come on. (She gets on the bike.) All right, here we go. All right? (They start.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
(She opens the door and they kiss.)
Phoebe: Oh, thank you so much! (They hug.) Okay.
Rachel: Well that sounds fun too. (They hug.)
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
Monica: Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! (Pause) That they know of.
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)
Interviewer: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Chandler: Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are both getting undressed.]
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
Ross: Come on! (They go to the jetway, Ross hands the tickets to the gate agent.) Here.
Pete: Oh, believe me, I dont want to get hurt either. Im being smart about this. See these guys? Theyre the best trainers in the world, and Hoshi here used to be a paid assassin. (Hoshi yells at him in Chinese) A house painter! He used to be a house painter.
(They start to walk into the living room and notice someones head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see its Ross.)
All: (they all recoil from the smell emanating from him) Oh! God! Wow!
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
(When they finish, they walk over to the director)
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
Monica: Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they dont like us do they? (They gave them a pok-a-dotted punch bowl.)
Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it.
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
(They shake hands and their lines overlap.)
RACHEL: Come on, they were not that huge.
All: Oh! Oh! (they all recoil in horror)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are in bed together.]