words in movies
Chandler: How can she be great if shes from Poughkeepsie? (laughs, at they all look at him) That joke wouldve killed in Albany.
Chandler: Hey, look at this! (Holding a newspaper) Theyre lighting the big Christmas tree tonight.
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Monica: I thought I was making headway, everyone was smiling at me all day, I get off work and I find out that they wrote this (puts on her chef hat) on my chefs hat. (The hat says Quit, bitch)
Phoebe: Hey, maybe they meant to write, Quiet, bitch.
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Monica: They baked it. I cant take this anymore. Im gonna call a meeting tonight, Im gonna fire you tonight.
Joey: And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You dont fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and theyll start listening to all the nice things Ive been saying about you.
Joey: Well nothing yet, they really hate you and I want to fit in.
Rachel: Well that sounds fun too. (They hug.)
Ross: Coffee sounds great. (They get up) Wait, so, so you live in Montreal?
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
Chandler: Why havent you told them?! Wouldnt they be happy?!
(They walk to the table, but Rachel suddenly gasps. Sitting there is mr Zellner, her boss from her current job at Ralph Lauren.)
Phoebe: Oh. (they start kissing again)
JOEY: [as they're walking out, Dr. Greene questioningly gestures at the Happy Birthday sign over the door] This is clearly in the wrong apartment. [they all walk across the hall]
(They turn back to Rachel and Professor Rathman.)
Rachel: Anyway, they want to take us out Saturday night! What do you say?
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
JOEY: My animals. Hey the guy said they suited me, he spoke with an accent, I was all confused. I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Joey: The Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Wow, an agency left me its card! Maybe they wanna sign me!
(They both look at each other, nod their heads All right and follow their stuff into their new rooms.)
(They turn away.)
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
Chandler: Did they teach you that in your anger management class?
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Monica hold back.]
Rachel: I know, it's huge, and it's scary, and it's... really far, far away from you guys, but this is such an incredible opportunity for me. And I've already talked to them about our situation with Emma, and they said they'll do whatever we need to make us feel comfortable.
Monica: Yes! (They run over to a platform)
(They dance over to him.)
Monica: Ross theyre really, really, really white.
Joey: Okay. (They kiss.)
Joey: Okay. (They kiss.)
Monica: Aw, it's soo unfair. (they both start digging into the 'good' ice cream)
Janine: Thank you. (They kiss.)
Chandler: I dont know, but dont worry, dont worry, because I know how to take a picture now. (They get ready) Okay, see? Look down (Looks down), look down, look down (He falls asleep.)
Monica: Im gonna miss you! (They hug.)
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What?
(They start to go inside.)
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
All: Aww! (They all laugh.)
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
(They go to the food table.)
Ross: They put that in.
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
Rachel: Ah! You know what honey guys are just different, they like things that we can't understand, you know I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend he was an archeologist and I was a naughty cave woman that he unfroze from a block of ice.
(They run and hug each other.)
(They leave and Rachel locks the door.)
(They both look at her.)
Chandler: Theyre terrific, and they live right here in the city.
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Monica: Well, its a set and they should probably stay together.
Joey: Oh well, the powerball lottery is upto 300 million and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so...
Chandler: Oh they didnt want to come!
Joey: (smiling) I don't know. This little, old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off of Days of Our Lives she almost died.
Phoebe: What else do they add smell too?
(They kiss.)
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
(They exit and close the door.)
Rachel: Hey. (they all walk away from Chandler)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, they are all there eating breakfast.]
Monica: Okay, I think thats it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like theyre having fun dont they?
Ross: Come on! (They start to leave.)
(There's a pause as they figure out what to say.)
Monica: Well, I mean what about friends of your grandmothers? Wouldnt they have the recipe?
Janine: They said stuff to me too, yknow!
Joey: I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed!
Joey: I guess they weren't as good friends as we are.
RACHEL: They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
Joey: Hey! (They hug.)
(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)
RACHEL: Well, maybe they can find a way to bring you back.
Joey: Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.
(They both sit down.)
Susan: Hey! (They hug.)
Rachel: Hey, now wait a minute! I get when you told people at first that you wanted to be an actor they laughed at you! Now come on Bobby, why dont you tell us a little bit about your band?
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
(She leaves the apartment and they all stare at Ross)
Chandler: Okay! (They both get up.)
(They both laugh.)
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
Ross: Yeah? Hop on. (They start dancing and Mona sits down.) Is the pretty lady looking?
(They both scream and jump away.)
(they go into Monica and Rachels, and see Phoebe hopping around.)
Phoebe: I know, theyre gonna be so happy together.
Monica: You are just the sweetest. (They kiss.)
Chandler: Okay. (They hug.)
Joey: Yeah! (They head downstairs.)
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
Rachel: I tried! They won't take her back.
(As they start back down the couch drops a little bit and gets jammed. They try to free it to no avail.)
Rachel: My God! (They both run into the bedrooms.)
Rachel: Oh thanks, but listen, I was just at Monicas and she and Chandler had a big fight and theyre not moving in.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica answers the door and lets her parents in. They are carrying boxes.]
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Ross: Come on. (She gets on the bike.) All right, here we go. All right? (They start.)
Ross: What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone?
(They start making out again.)
(They kiss.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room. The officious admissions nurse is again on duty. Rachel and Monica enter, looking worried. As they approach the desk, Rachel adopts a winning smile, while Monica struggles to smile at all.]
(She opens the door and they kiss.)
Phoebe: Oh, thank you so much! (They hug.) Okay.
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Guys: Hockey! (They go to leave but are blocked by three of Rachel's friends, Leslie, Kiki, and Joanne. The guys pause to stare at them.) Hockey! Hockey. (The guys.)
(They start trying to trade babies while holding one each. They have no idea how to do it, so they just shift the babies around in their arms. They give up pretty quickly.)