words in movies
Ross: Totally insane. Dude, let's drive home, we'll hit all the maple candy stores on the way back and if...if they're closed maybe we'll tap a tree and make some ourselves.
Joey: Oh, you know, the writing was good, and the director is good, and... and my co-star's good but they're not as good as me!
JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.
Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee.
RACH: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
Joey: Hard to tell, they're so tiny and upside-down. Wait, wait. They're walking away... they're walking away... No, no they're not, they're coming right at us! Run! Run!
Mike: Yeah - not such a problem with rats. No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animals.
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
[Time lapse, they're still on the ride along and Joey is just sniffing his sandwich.]
Phoebe: Well, they may be a handful, but they're so cute.
Rachel: Oh, they're real!
Monica: 'Cause, Gary and Phoebe think they're a hotter couple than we are!
Monica: (to chandler) Twenty bucks says they're married within the month.
Joey: Yeah, they're great seats too!
Joey: Oh! They're in the table!
Rachel: (shouting) Babies don't care if they're slim.
Joey: They're ribbed for *your* pleasure.
Phoebe: Now, wait a minute. So, they're gonna name their first child Joey?
Steve: (from kitchen) Ah, cool! Taco shells! (Rachel motions, "You see!") You know, these are... they're like a little corn envelope.
Ross: Hey, what do you think they're doing in there?
Monica: Oh! They're late and they're sloppy!
Phoebe: Uhm... well, they're not in the wedding.
DR. BURKE: Drops. Here, they're free.
Ross: Wha...? Oh sure, now they lock it, but when they're having sex on the couch, its like: "Come on in, my butt is surprisingly hairy".
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
Joey: Yeah, they're stuck inside the table!
Rachel: They're my new 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!
CAROL: I mean, I knew they were having trouble with this whole thing, but they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away and everything.
RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone except Chandler is there; they're opening their presents]
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
DR. BURKE: But they're so dull, they're all opthamologists.
Phoebe: Maybe not! Y'know? Seriously, three babies are a handful maybe they're y'know, looking for a chance to unload one of them. Listen, I-I hate to miss an opportunity just because I didn't ask! Y'know?
Ross: It's I just know they're gonna be a couple of windbags wearing tweed jackets with suede elbow patches.
Rachel: Yeah, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for.
(She opens the door to reveal Chandler and Ross. Unfortunately, they seem to have their holidays mixed up. They think it's Halloween and they're going as Crockett and Tubbs from that legendary TV show of the late 80's, Miami Vice. God, we looked silly back then!)
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
[as they're walking off, little bully grabs Chandlers hat from behind and puts it on himself]
Ross: Yes, I do have a laundry room in my building, um, but there's a.... rat problem. Apparently they're attracted to the dryer sheets, and they're goin' in fine, but they're comin' out all.... fluffy. Anyway, say, sevenish?
[Time Lapse, the gang is now watching Law & Order. By the way, the entire rest of the episode takes place in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together? Something to think about.]
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.
Party Guests: (chanting) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (Ross goes to investigate the noise) Howard! Howard! Howard! (They're holding Howard above their heads.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! (He sees Phoebe chanting along with them.) Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Howard! Yay!!
Phoebe: Well, you know what, they're our responsibility now.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, they must have jumped off the table, 'cause now they're gone!
JOEY: Ok, let's start with the cons, 'cause they're more fun. All right, Rachel first.
Monica: And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.
Ross: I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.
Phoebe: Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyoneanyway.
Ross: Then I'm happy too. (They're still hugging - fade out)
Rachel: Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing up and make their way to the door)
Ross: (panting)They're towing a car. And I am seeing...spots.
Chandler: Yeah but they're right. I mean, I'm not a strong father figure and I never will be.
Monica: They're in the kitchen getting something to eat. Can you believe how nice they are?
Dr. Mitchell: Willya relax? Look around. No pagan altars, no piles of bones in the corners, they're fine. (Baring his teeth to clean them with his finger) Go like this. (Dr. Rosen obeys.)
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
Rachel: They're in a caaar...
Rachel: They're waiting for me, Ross. I can't do this right now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
[Scene: Central Perk. They're all sitting there as usual, except Joey. Gunther is serving a nearby table.]
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
JOEY: They're ribbed for your pleasure. [Ross and Monica trade their gifts.]
Monica: Chandler! Everyone--no one's eating my Tuscan finger food 'cause they're all filling up on Phoebe's snow cones!
Chandler: We just finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner. I have--and I remember this part vividly--a mouthful of pumpkin pie, and this is the moment my parents choose to tell me they're getting divorced.
Chandler: What if they're not? What if it's adopted by a king?
<Rachel and Amy 'fighting'.. They're really just trying to slap each other and just keep slapping their hands>
Ross: Well, because y'know there are certain rules about this kind of stuff. You don't uh, you don't fool around with your uh, friend's ex-girlfriends or possible girlfriends or girls they're related to.
Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!
Gary: Yeah well, being that he was the victim, they're usually pretty talkative.
They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch, and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much. Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why, you cry and you cry and you cry. And you cry and you cry and you cry...
Dr. Franzblau: Ice chips, just ice chips. They're at the nurses' station.
Ross: They're still, they're still not coming on man and the lotion and the powder have made a paste!
(He searches to his right; she searches to her left. They're both on their hands and knees when they spot the die. It's propped up against the table leg, and it's not lying flat. Both the four and the five are showing.)
Phoebe: Well y'know every time that they say that like they're doing laundry we'll just give them a bunch of laundry to do.
<Ross and Rachel are putting baby stuff together like they're going to be going somewhere.>
Joey: Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. (time's finished) OOOH!
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Joey: They're brother and sister!!!
Chandler: No, no, no... They're really yours. We... found them in your old room.
Rachel: Well guys tend to get naked before they're gonna have sex.
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.
Chandler: I don't believe they're brother and sister.
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
Phoebe: Ok. Do we have to talk like that then they're not around? (She sees Rachel) Oh, no, no! Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me?
Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
Rachel: No. But don't worry, I'm sure they're still there.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. They're interviewing Sandy.]
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. They're done and come out of their bedroom. Emma is still gone.]
Rachel: No, honey, they're not, but don't worry, because we are going to find them, and until we do, we are all here for you, ok?
Joey: Come on, they're close.
Chandler: He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.
Monica: What if something gets broken, they're so expensive.
Chandler: Oh yeah, they're totally gonna back down!
Rachel: Uhm... you haven't told these guys what they're doing in the wedding yet.
Monica: Thank you. They're yours.
(They all cross they're arms like the Power Rangers do)