words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is on the phone, everyone else is there except Joey.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, Phoebe is already there waiting for the delievery guy.]
(There is a knock on the door.)
Phoebe: Oh. (goes and answers the door and there is this huge black delievery guy.)
Phoebe: Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. Its that bedroom there. (points to Monicas room)
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
Ross: There never was a library. I mean there are libraries, its just that I ah, I never worked at one.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, Ive never been able to cry as an actor, so if Im in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, lets say I wanna convey that Ive just done something evil. That would be the basic I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it (Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook.) Okay, lets say Ive just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. (looks all confused) And thats how its done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Ross: Four percent. Okay. I tip more than that when theres a bug in my food.
Chandler: Okay, well it this bed isnt new, how come there is plastic on the mattress?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there, yelling at Joey.]
Rachel: Yeah honey, Im standing right there! Why didnt you just tell him about the mole I havent got checked yet.
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Jester: Look, its like I told you, theres nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
Jester: Hey! You cant go back there!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]
Monica: He had to go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard.
Pete: Theres one thing missing.
Emily: Thats just halftime, theres more of this.
Ross: No, no, no, no, no, I don't want to know, absolutely not. I think, you know, I think you should know until you look down there, and say, oop, there it is! (pauses) Or isn't...
Chandler: Yeah! Anderson just scored again! (To Phoebe) Theres no Anderson.
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Mr. Geller: There was also leaves and guk and stuff.
Ross: So uh, have a great time down there.
Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? (Goes to the counter)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Monica: Ill meet you there in two minutes.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are there. He takes off his glasses and starts chewing on the ear piece.]
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Mrs. Waltham: Oh yes, there you are.
Joey: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, yknow, you think Ill ever get there?
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Phoebe: Yay! Its so exciting! Wow, you couldve done that with us there.
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
Joey: (seeing what theyre doing) What do you got there?
Ross: (knocks on door) Rach, you there? (Joey and Rachel both get up from the bed)
Ross: I'm really gonna miss this apartment. Y'know, Ben-Ben took his first steps right over there. (Points.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Rachel: Yeah, come on! Whats going in on in there? (Pats his chest.)
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
Phoebe: All right, whats going on there? (Points to a picture.)
Joey: No, was my best friend. Anyway, I dont know why youre pushing for him so hard. With him out of the way as my best friend, theres a spot open.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Joey: Chandler, look theyre actors. Theyre there to do a job, just cause they work together, doesnt mean theyre gonna get together. I mean just cause it happened with Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, it doesnt mean its gonna happen with them.
Ross: Why? Why? I know it's a little weird, but hey, he's a great doctor, okay? He knows my medical history, and every time I go in there, he makes a big deal. 'Ah look, it's my favorite patient!'
[Cut to Joey's room, his doctor and Ross are there.]
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
JULIE: So is there like a story or do they just stard doing it right. . . oh, never mind.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there.]
David: Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe...
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel are there, as Phoebe enters with her date.]
Chandler: Hey, there he is! There he is!
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
(Theres a knock on the door and Janice enters.)
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
Phoebe: Ohh! Okay! Okay, cause when-when he said, "I cant wait to hear your first words," I thought, "Theres a trick."
Ross: Come on, there are plenty of other women out thereok? Just - just forget about her, ok? Just, she's off limits.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the girls are all there, discussing their bad luck with men.]
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
Rachel: (noticing a bunch of pictures around the door that werent there originally.) What-what are-what are these?
Rachel: Yeah, it's in there. (Points to the bathroom.)
Tag: Well, its not out here. Is there any chance it could be in your office?
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
Rachel: No, its all right. I got nice boobs. (Phoebe and Monica nod there heads in agreement.)
Chandler: If can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.
Phoebe: Come on, theres gotta be something.
Rachel: Ball? There is no ball.
Emily: She's there?!
Joey: Heyooh Pheebs, are they in there?
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Joey: Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didnt know there.
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Monica: Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would like to talk about or share?
Phoebe: (starts to walk away, but stops) Dont try to call him or anything, 'cause he's not there, he's out. His umm, his partner just died.
Chandler: Well maybe there is one thing you can do.
Ross: (blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.
Janice: All right. Well, there you go. (she gets extremely wound up, and begins to try and calm herself down) Stop it, stop it, stop it.
Dr. Harad: All right, you're getting there. Oh, and y'know, these babies are very, very lucky.
Chandler: There we go!
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
RACH: Hey, there was one Italian guy, OK, and do you even have a point?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, there is a knock on the door and Ross opens it to Cassie.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Ross: (screaming) Everybody put their balloons down!!! (There is a temporary cease fire.) Now this is a nice suit!! (Shows everyone where he was hit.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, first there was my aunt Mary, and then there was umm, John, my mailman, and then my, my cowboy friend Albino Bob.
[Scene: The hallway after the party. Rachel is sitting there.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
[Scene: The waiting room, Monica and Joey are sitting there.]
Kyle: we talked through most of the night and we realized that the reason we were so angry at each other was because there are still feelings there. So (Pause)
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Excellent, I'll be there.
[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God. Can you imagine if there was?! I mean, (getting serious) what would happen exactly.
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
ROSS: [comes out of the bedroom] Rachel. [growls then sees Richard standing there] Hey.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gangs all there discussing the incident.]
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Monica: I thought there wasn't a ball?
(Phoebe buttons her lip, while the rest of the gang pretend theyre not there.)
Joey: Oooh, what you got there?
Monica: This isnt how its supposed to go, there cant be another guy.
Ross: Oh, yeah, that’s the same, I am sure there are thirty different species of poisonous swings!
Rachel: (she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and theyre-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)