words in movies
{Transcribers Note: This is an hour-long special episode. Which means that the first part of this episode is episode 615. The second part of this episode is episode 616. Since episodes 615 and 616 are combined into one file, thats why there is no episode 616 in the season 6 table of contents and the numbers jump from episode 615 to 617.}
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Rachel enters.]
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a massage client who worked there and-and he said I had a knack for stocks.
Joey: All right! Now hey, I need to use the bathroom. Since I dont need any assistance in there, take a break!
Ross: And thats Phoebe over there! (Points to her.)
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Phoebes cell phone rings and she goes through her little routine of lighting a cigarette before answering the phone.]
Joey: (entering) Hey there you are!
[Scene: A hospital, Phoebe is recovering from her heart attack as Ross, Monica, and Chandler are there to comfort and support her.]
Monica: Yeah! Shes right in there! (Points to Phoebes room.)
Joey: All right, and over there is Bradys Pub where I like to unwind after a long day of surgeoning.
Joey: Thanks! (Looks at it.) Yeah, theres pulp in that. (Hands it back.)
Ross: So honey, this morning was fun, huh? Me hopping in on you in the shower there.
Ross: Hey there little fella! Hey, uh-hey, why dont we get some shoes on ya, huh? Hey, why dont you show dad how you can put your shoes on, in your room! Yay!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
Carol: Yeah. Ooh, and I know Gail Rosten is in there twice, but she is so
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler and Monica are there with Phoebe as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: What are you two girls whispering about over there?!
Phoebe: I know! But if I didnt work there, what else would I do?
[Scene: Joey's apartment, (The one he had when he was Dr. Drake Remoray, because he still is.) Rachel is there and admiring the big ceramic fake dog.]
Joey: Pretty cool, huh? But if youre thinking you can put a fish in there and it wouldnt get sucked up into the mechanism, well youd be wrong.
Joey: Its uh, right through there. (Points.)
Rachel: Wow! Tell me something Joey(She falls off the couch)Whoa! I just fell right off the couch there.
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it.) If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, yknow? Because youve been waiting a very long time and I wouldnt want to disappoint you.
Chandler: Well, if it helps there were only three. So it would just be for tonight, right?
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
(She goes out into the hall and when shes there and the door is closed; she rips off her robe to reveal her work clothes.)
[Cut back to her room, Joey and Ross are sitting there waiting for her.]
Ross: Its just, my part seemed to be over pretty quickly and then, and then there was a lot of waiting around.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Rachel storms in.]
Rachel: Let me uh, let me ask you something, do wedding vows mean squat to you people?! And why is it that the second we tell you were going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbors dog walker?!
Ross: Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!
Chandler: Yeah! When you were talking about Roger, that was killing me! Look, things like last night they dont just happen. Yknow? Or at least not to me. Or with the other two women, in the morning yknow I was just lying there and I couldnt wait to just go hang out with my friends, but with you I always yknow with a friend.
Monica: There was just one woman, wasnt there?
Chandler: No, there were two.
Joey: They did it right there on the couch.
Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other)
Ross: So Pheebs, are you gonna go back out there or what?
Chandler: What? There was ice there that night with Carol? Plastic seats? Four thousand angry Pittsburgh fans?
Joey: Thata girl! Huh? We should get out of here; theres a new class comin in.
Monica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
Ross: ...How long was I in there?
[Scene: the hotel game room. There is a ping pong table in the middle of the room. Monica, Phoebe, Chandler and Mike walk in]
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Phoebe: Thats right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know Ive had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And Im sure youve had them for us.
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
Woman: Hey, hey, hey there aren't any clothes in it.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Chandler: (finds his money) Ahh-hahaha! (Turns around to give the Maitre d' his money, but he isn't there anymore)
Ross: Um, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in there.
Joey: Me too! Theres a game on Tuesday do you wanna go?
Monica: Is there? Is there someone else?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there, Phoebe is entering with her date Robert.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Monica: Oh my God! Thats my restaurant, Im the chef there.
Monica: How are we gonna do that? Theres no way.
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Joey: Check the freezer. If theres none in there, then were probably out. Are you just getting in from work? Its late.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.]
Passenger #1: We're all getting off. There is no Philange!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: (loudly) Why?! Are there like bears or something?! (Looks around and then sees that Elizabeth is shaking her head no and realizes what Elizabeth meant.) Ohh. Oh, protection. Yeah-no, yeah-no, that-that-that I forgot.
Phoebe: Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.
Chandler: Wish I could switch with someone. I really don't wanna sit with Allen Iverson over there.
ROSS: Well, there you go.
Joey: A little more, a little more. (she stuffs some more down his pants and Joey's assesses the how many there already are in there.) A little more... All right. Okay, all right, let's do this.
All: Oh, sure. Sure, absolutely. (They just stand there, then realise what he means and go to the other end of the room)
MONICA: [She grabs the coffee cup on the table and licks the rim.] There you go, enjoy your coffee.
PHOEBE: You're there!
Ross: What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.
Joey: No-no, stay right there. (Monica stops and Joey flips her a pancake, which flies over her head and lands in the living room.) Gettin closer.
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
Dina: Im going to keep dating him Mother, and theres nothing you can do about it!
Ross: Hi. Sorry we're late but we werewell, there was touching.
Phoebe: well there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I never really have been in a long-term relationship, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so. (Pause) if that's too weird for you and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll close my eye's make it less awkward (She sits with her eyes closed and Mike kisses her, Phoebe opens her eyes and like a little child says.) You kissed me.
Phoebe: See, there you go, the cleansing works!
Joey: (voice-over) Oh-oh! And then Rosss new girlfriend, Bonnie, shows up and Rachel convinced her to save her head. And then Ross and Rachel kiss, and now Ross has to choose between Rachel and the bald girl and I dont know what happened there either...
[Scene: At the counter. Ross is sitting there, drinking. Phoebe approaches him.]
[Cut to Chandler opening the door to his and Joeys apartment to reveal Monica standing there with a turkey on her head in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Mike: There is a revolutionary new product that guarantees that you'll never have to open up milk cartons again. Meet the Milk Master 2000.
Ross: Nothing! Theres nothing to do! I mean, she lives there, I live here. I mean, she-shed have to uh, move here. She should move here!
[Scene: Dr. Burke's office. Monica is there for her eye appointment.]
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why dont you stick around. You can sit right there.
RACHEL: Hey Phoebs, whatcha got there?
MR. GELLER: You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it's right there.
(The rest of the crew start to drive away leaving Joey sad, alone, and holding his congratulatory balloons as the song comes up again. La-la-la. See, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain! In the desert you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La-la-la, la, la, la )
CHANDLER: Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there. (phone rings)
Alice: So umm, you feel like taking a test? Theres only one question.
Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.
Chandler: Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you?
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is returning from shopping and Rachel is there.]
Rachel: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.
Lydia: There is no father.
Charlie: (smiling and thinks for a moment)... no... bu but there was my first boyfriend Billy.
Joey: Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there!
Mike: Uhm, did you guys know that there is a giant ice sculpture in the hall?
Rachel: Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a bite with all the layers!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Joey enters.]
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
Rachel: Yeah but yknow what they say Mon, "Theres no such thing as bad press."
GUNTHER: There you go.
Ross: Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didnt propose.
Joey: Power saw kinda got away from me there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, All are there except for Chandler.]
SUSAN: Yeah, a woman I went to college with just became the first female blacksmith down there.
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Ross: Yeah, ooh yeah, I think there is one from batch 17 left, uh (Grabs a cookie and takes a big bite out of it and doesnt like it.) Its batch 16! 16 people! Get out of the way! (Gets up and runs for the bathroom.)
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Roger: You're so funny! He's really funny! I wouldn't wanna be there when when the laughter stops.
Laura: Is he alright out there by himself?
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
CHAN: What are you doing out there?
(The door opens, and there is Gladys, still in her frame though. Joey panics and moves frantically, screaming. Then there is laughing, and the painting is lowered. It was Rachel holding Gladys.)
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering without touching anything with his hands. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Ross: Sorry! Sorry! Oh, (He sticks it under his shirt) there! (It's just there flashing through his shirt) Hey Gary, who am I? Phone home!
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Chandler: No! No-no-no-no-no-no. It sounds like they really need you down there.
Joey: Oh sure, right back there. (Points.)
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Ross: Oh sure, come here! (Sits her up) Sure you can! Uh, look come here look, (rolls the machine closer) its-its-its, its right there (Points).
Ross: Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there too?
Ross: Okay, there was some staring and pointing.
[Scene: Mr. Ratstatter's (RTST) office. Monica is there about a job.]
Phoebe: Oh no, the dog's not going to be there!
Joey: Ms. Monroe (She slaps him) Oh there you go. (She storms off, leaving Joey standing next to Dina. They share a nod at the ferocity of the slap they just received.)
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
ROSS: Ok, here, here. There we go.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Monica are all there as Chandler enters wearing glasses.]
Rachel: Yes, I know that. I know that. And I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that Ive ever done. But Im telling you, from this moment on I swear this is strictly professional. (Theres a knock on the door.) Yes?