words in movies
[Scene: The Buildings Roof, the entire gang plus Tag are there to look for a comet. Theyre looking for a comet on a roof of a New York apartment building. Yeah, thats realistic. You might as well look for the moon on a bright sunny day.]
Phoebe: (looking up) There it is! Oh, look at that! Isnt Mother Nature amazing?
Joey: No! No-no. Look, theres a bug stuck in tar right here. (Bends down to get a closer look.)
Joey: (standing up) Yknow, theres two women dude.
Monica: It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is a beeping noise coming from the living room and Phoebe sleepily goes to investigate.]
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Rachel: Puzzler. A bit of a puzzle. Why dont you um, check the copy room, maybe you left the contracts in there?
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
[Scene: Rachels outer office, shes returning with two coffee cups in hand to find Tag sitting there.]
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Tag: Well, its not out here. Is there any chance it could be in your office?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, there is someone pounding on the door and Phoebe sleepily walks over and answers it. As she nears the door, the pounding stops and she can hear the smoke detectors wail.]
The Fireman: Theres a reset button under the plastic cover.
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Oh. Thank you. Ohhh, thank you very much. Oh, thank you for coming. (Theres a knock on the door.) Uh, just a second!
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a massage client who worked there and-and he said I had a knack for stocks.
(Joey gets up and moves to the other end of his row to talk to the guy sitting there.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are there.]
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
Chandler: Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more important things to worry about.
Joey: Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This (His video camera) is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Y'know before it all starts?
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
CHANDLER: Well there you go.
MONICA: Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again .
Joey: Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
JOEY: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . .
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Rachel: Okay. All right Dina, well lets talk about the different areas of fashion that you could get involved in. Lets see, theres design, but you may need a whole other degree for that. Uh, theres-theres sales, which is great because you get to travel
Joey: But what about back home, anything going on there? Anybody you like?
ROSS: Hey, there.
Gunther: Hey! Take these cappuccinos to table 11 and that guy over there (points) wants the biscotti.
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Phoebe: Its me. Its Phoebe. Listen theres something in here I want to eat, what-what smells so good?
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Rachel enters and sees Joey sitting there.]
Chandler: There is not one hair on that head.
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
[Scene: Chandlers Office, his boss Doug is entering, Monica is there as well.]
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
Phoebe: (sighs) Honey, I wish you would get over her. I hate seeing you like this. Is there anything I can do for you? Do you want to look down my top?
Chandler: Well, there you go.
[Scene: Joeys Dressing Room, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Monica: Hey. Call me when you get there. Okay?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Ross are there.]
MR. TREEGER: Uhh, you said there was a party.
Rachel: Oh God Oh, hes in there right now?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica, Rachel, Ross, and Phoebe are there. Phoebe is looking out the window.]
Chandler: 'Cause I was sitting there.
Joey: Ahhh! I heard "I do", were halfway there! Okay! (To Bobby) You!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hes got a, hes got a really bad cough, and our vet, he cant do anything about it. Is there something you can do?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Rachel has just finished reading the book.]
Chandler: They got a phone in there, right?
Rachel: Whoa-whoa, theres two living rooms? God, growing up here, this place mustve been a real babe magnet.
Phoebe: Oh, theres a cab! Taxi!! (The cab stops and she opens the door.) Good timing, my God, huh? Here you go. (Pushes Rachel in and closes the door.)
Chandler: I mean, I was sitting there.
Chandler: Well, its just the reason that Im asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable toI mean I really wanted too, but I couldnt . There huhhmm, there-there was an incident.
Fireman No. 1: What do we got there?
Ross: There it is.
Ross: Look, just because some idiot drew on your face doesn't mean you shouldn't have any fun! Okay? And besides, hey-hey-hey no one is even gonna look at you. Okay? This is Vegas! Hello! There are tons of other freaks here! (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) There are tons of freaks here. No other. No. Come on! No one will notice, I swear!
COMMERCIAL VOICEOVER: ...With MonkeyShine Beer. [MonkeyShine theme] MonkeyShine Beer, 'cause it's a jungle out there.]
Rachel: Cos I was gonna say theres no way you couldve done the end the way you guys did it back then!
Joey: Uh, excuse me sir, there seems to be some sort of red crap on my cheesecake.
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
Monica: If we wanna get on camera, I think we have to get up on one of those platforms. Theyve been taping those people up there all day.
PHOEBE: But, but this is my gig. This is where I play. My, my name is written out there in chalk. You know, you can't just erase chalk.
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!
Phoebe: Okay Rachel, I cant wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! Well have so much fun!!
Robert: (running in) Oh, there they are! I-I dropped my keys.
Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...
Elizabeth: Ohh, I wouldnt do it in there. Thats my dads bedroom.
Joey: Whoah, boy, hockey was a big mistake! There was a whole bunch of stuff we could've done tonight!
Mike: And there is Kevin.
ERICA: How, how can you be here and there.
Rachel: That is neither here nor there.
[Scene: Central Perk, all six are there.]
Ross: I dont know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but theres this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch.
Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into Joeys chest.) Joey theres a girl on the phone for you.
ROSS: There we go. All better. (gives Ben back to Monica)
[Scene: Central Perk, Frank and Alice are there talking with Phoebe.]
Joey: Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like its a little baby.)
Ross: So honey, this morning was fun, huh? Me hopping in on you in the shower there.
Ross: Yeah, the phone was facing the other way. (Chandler fixes it and a picture frame off the table.) And that goes back up there.
Joey: Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there (points to the bathroom). Soo...
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there except Joey.]
Joey: Pheebs! There you are!
Parker: Rachel, you have life growing inside you. Is there anything in this world more miraculous thanOh a picture of a dog! Whose is this?
Ross: There was no song. (to Monica) There was no song!
Monica: Wasn't there a little song?
Ross: (to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.
[Scene: Monica’s Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room]
[Scene: Central Perk. Frank Jr., Phoebe and the triplets are there. Continued from earlier.]
Rachel: Oh no, no, Ill be there too.
Joey: (placing Hugsy back in the crib) There you go sweetie... (to Emma) This isn't over.
[Scene: Central Perk, the guys are returning from the ride along to find Phoebe already there.]
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
CHANDLER: There's another carton right over there.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.]
JOEY: All right, all right. "Damnit Braverman, it's right there on the chart!"
Phoebe: Yes, but there isn't always time!
Chandler: Before we go out there Ive got a present for ya.
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Rachel: Its a truffle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Rachel: You know what? There is a little part of me that really thought we were gonna win.
Ross: Look, our table is down in front, okay, my boss is gonna be there, everyone will see if we arrive after it starts.
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Rachel: Sometimes just nodding is ok. (pause) Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about!
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Rachel are there as Phoebe and Monica enter.]
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!