words in movies
Ross: (to the rest of them) Yeah-yeah you guys. Get out of here!
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Joey: (behind them) Oh!! Shrimp toast! (Walks right past the little group on his way for the shrimp toast.)
Sarah: (approaching with two filled balloons in her hands) Nobody! We put them in here! (Indicates the aforementioned balloons causing both of them to scream in delight and start drinking from the balloons.)
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Rachel: I know. Okay. (Whispering and thinking.) Okay. Okay. All right. All right, this is what were gonna do, we are gonna go to the next highest bidder, and we are just gonna let them buy it, and then youre just gonna pay the difference.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica and Chandler are returning to find Ross is there waiting for them.]
Phoebe: Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! (Chandler is frantically trying to wave them off.)
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Phoebe: Me too! So happy for them!
Chandler: (to them) Its okay, I got a plan.
Rachel: Well yknow, some people make deals with a friend, like if neither of them are married by the time theyre 40, they marry each other.
Rachel: Phoebe you cant have both of them! You have to pick one!
(Rachel mixes them up in her hands, moves them all around, and puts her hands behind her back.)
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Chandler: Why havent you told them?!
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Chandler: Youre gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Joey: Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Rachel: No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?
Ross: (entering) Uh fellas, (Does the maneuver and gives them a double thumbs up, which Chandler returns as he closes the door.)
Joey: (overhearing them) Oh-ho, and mine!
Monica: (in the kitchen with Chandler) Look at them, they're-they're panicked!
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
Monica: (indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Ross: Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Monica: Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they dont like us do they? (They gave them a pok-a-dotted punch bowl.)
Interviewer: You gonna slice them up real nice?
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.]
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
(They watch them making up and sigh)
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
ROSS: C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
Joey: Yeah! Ask them if they brought their friends any souvenirs!
Joey: All right. But, youre gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)
MONICA: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
Phoebe: Ill give you $1 for them.
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
Monica: Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! Theyre killing me! One toe at a time!
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them when I did, or else who knows what woulda happened.
Chandler: And protected them from a tornado?
Joey: (answering the door.) Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. (He brings them inside.)
Monica: Cause they took our apartment, I wanted to punish them. But Im-Im done now. Theyve suffered enough.
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
Joey: All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
Tag: I just did them.
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
CHANDLER: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y=know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
Chandler: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are drinking coffee and Phoebe notices a cute guy checking them out.]
Chandler: So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
Ross: Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow.
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
Tag: Im telling you, you never gave them to me.
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.
Chandler: Well its just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was the first time I knew that you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with.
Joey: No-no! Im fine. Its just Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that youve known for a while and then suddenly suddenly see them a different way?
Monica: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?
(He bends over to pick them up, right in front of Rachel, who then gets a free peep show.)
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
Joey: All right, uh, weve got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you cant treat them that way.
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
(Joey offers them some potato chips.)
Chandler: Because we hate them.
Chandler: Yknow, itll be okay. Itll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then well tell em.
Monica: (yelling after them) I cant believe youre gonna have sex on my engagement night!!
Monica: But you told them you werent?
Monica: I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad?
Monica: (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Rachel: Some of them.
JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Monica: Them?! Who's them?
Joey: Well I didn't tell them!
Chandler: Honey, Im gonna save you some time, 200 CDs, not one of them in the right case.
Rachel: Oh, can we read them?
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Rachel: It's just physical and I have it totally under control! Ok? It's just, when I see them together, sometimes I just get a little jealous!
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, we could teach them to sing, and we can be like the Von Trapp family! Only without the Nazis. Although that sounds kinda dull.
Phoebe: You told them he was missing?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
(Joey agrees and heads to take them off.)
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Jill: Totally, I love them! And, maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand.