words in movies
Monica: I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these!
Rachel: Huh. Except, Phoebes not gonna be the one that gets to dress them.
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, the guys are now trying to figure out what next to do, since their plan with the stripper backfired on them.]
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Rachel: No, really. Really, Pheebs, youre not gonna be the one worrying about saving for college, or yelling at them when theyre bad, yknow, or deciding to put them on Ritalin when they just wont calm down. Yknow?
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Rachel: We are so gonna find them this year.
Chandler: I just didn't want to tell you in front of them.
Rachel: You stole them from me!!
Chandler: Why havent you told them?!
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Rachel: (carrying a tray of drinks) Alright, don't tell me, don't tell me! (Starts handing them out.) Decaf cappucino for Joey.. Coffee black.. Late.. And an iced tea. I'm getting pretty good at this!
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
(Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
Chandler: Youre gonna be carrying their baby and give them a Sony Play Station?
Monica: (interrupts him) If someone wants to give us a present, we dont want to deprive them of that joy.
Joey: Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.
Rachel: But, theyre across the hall! I mean thats two doors away, it would take them a long time to peck their way back over here.
Rachel: No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?
Ross: (entering) Uh fellas, (Does the maneuver and gives them a double thumbs up, which Chandler returns as he closes the door.)
Joey: (overhearing them) Oh-ho, and mine!
Monica: (in the kitchen with Chandler) Look at them, they're-they're panicked!
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Monica: So! So we've got to go upstairs and have a lot of sex to prove them wrong!
Monica: (indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Interviewer: You gonna slice them up real nice?
Ross: Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
Chandler: Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
Monica: Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they dont like us do they? (They gave them a pok-a-dotted punch bowl.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment. Both of them sitting on the couch, interviewing a nanny candidate.]
Ross: No! I made it seem like I was just calling to chat. Pretty sure, they both think Im interested in them.
Rachel: Well, wait a minute, youre the boss! Why dont you just yell at them? Or, fire them?
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler are there. They have lots of brochures about adoption in front of them.]
MONICA: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
ROSS: C'mon, you know everyone I've been with. All, both of them.
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Joey: All right. But, youre gonna have to tell them. (He opens the cabinet to reveal the chick and the duck living inside with Christmas lights and a disco ball as decorations.)
Phoebe: Ill give you $1 for them.
(They watch them making up and sigh)
Joey: Yeah! Ask them if they brought their friends any souvenirs!
Monica: Cause they took our apartment, I wanted to punish them. But Im-Im done now. Theyve suffered enough.
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, you're lucky I caught them when I did, or else who knows what woulda happened.
Chandler: And protected them from a tornado?
Monica: Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! Theyre killing me! One toe at a time!
Ross: Ah, yeah, yeah. Umm, we started talking after she y'know, did her thing. And it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age, so we're taking them to a gym-boree class. Why, is that okay?
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Joey: (answering the door.) Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. (He brings them inside.)
CHANDLER: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y=know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout!
Monica: Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story Ive had such a craving for them.
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
Rachel: Ahh, I dont believe you. I think you dont want them to see you begging me. (Goes to put the tape in the VCR)
Joey: All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Phoebe: Left! (Rachel hands her the napkin in her left hand and they both unfold and read them.) Thank you.
Tag: I just did them.
Monica: Okay. (She opens it up and shows it to them.)
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Joey: (checks in the window to make sure it has them) Its got em!
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
Chandler: So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
[cut back to Rachels bedroom with both of them hurriedly getting dressed]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are drinking coffee and Phoebe notices a cute guy checking them out.]
Chandler: Or 'You're such a nice guy' means 'I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you'.
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Monica: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?
(Joey offers them some potato chips.)
Joey: No-no! Im fine. Its just Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that youve known for a while and then suddenly suddenly see them a different way?
Ross: Anyway, they want me to go down to this- sonogram thing with them tomorrow.
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
Joey: All right, uh, weve got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you cant treat them that way.
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
Tag: Im telling you, you never gave them to me.
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own.
Chandler: Well its just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was the first time I knew that you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Joey: (behind them) Oh!! Shrimp toast! (Walks right past the little group on his way for the shrimp toast.)
PHOEBE: Oh, I would love to have kids. . . you're, you're the, you're, me play the songs that I will write for them.
Chandler: Yknow, itll be okay. Itll be okay. Because when they come over, I will be all charming, I will make them fall in love with me, and then well tell em.
Chandler: Because we hate them.
Monica: (yelling after them) I cant believe youre gonna have sex on my engagement night!!
(He bends over to pick them up, right in front of Rachel, who then gets a free peep show.)
Monica: But you told them you werent?
Monica: I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad?
Chandler: (to the two guys) Excuse me. (Chandler and Ross move away from them). That didn't make us sound gay at all!
Monica: (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Rachel: Some of them.
JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Joey: Well I didn't tell them!
Monica: Them?! Who's them?
Chandler: Honey, Im gonna save you some time, 200 CDs, not one of them in the right case.
Rachel: Oh, can we read them?
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Phoebe: You told them he was missing?
David: Yeah. Well I-I got like thirty of them.