words in movies
JOEY: Oh, is today the day you're gonna tell them about you two?
PHOEBE: No, I think you should tell them.
MONICA: No, I don't even know how serious he is about me. Until I do, I'm not telling them anything.
MRS. GELLER: No, Richard Burke gave them a ride.
RICHARD: Yeah, I know. I hate it too. Look, maybe we should just tell them.
ROSS: Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some of them aren't. Is that crystal?
MONICA: So, are you sorry that I told them?
Phoebe: Alright, no, we could look at them!
Phoebe: That is so sweet, you guys. (hugs them)
Phoebe: Okay, well I think that they're in my purse. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll look for them.
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
MONICA: Oh, why does this bother me so much? I mean I don't wanna be one of those people who tells their boyfriend they wanna spend 24 hours a day with them.
Rachel: Cant I just look at the handles on them?
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
The Casting Director: Okay, uh well, let's try one. Whenever you guys are ready. (Some dude puts down a couple bowls of soup in front of them.)
CHANDLER: Well I do, but uh, Eddie makes them this way and, well they're pretty darn good.
Roger: Actually it's, it's quite, y'know, typical behaviour when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. Y'know, this kind of co-dependant, emotionally stunted, sitting in your stupid coffee house with your stupid big cups which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them, and you're like all 'Oh, define me! Define me! Love me, I need love!'.
SUSIE: If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them.
Ross: Yeah that! You know I hate practical jokes! Theyre mean and theyre stupid and-and I dont want my son learning them!
Monica: (Looks at her nails) Oh my God. Wait a minute, I had them put (realises) Oh my God! Its in the quiche! Oh My God!
(He goes into his room to try them on and closes the door.)
(They kiss. Ross is watching them)
Joey: Why would you need to say hi to them, youve been feeding them for four days?
Monica: Oh, So you can move them!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
(Ross and Emilys parents are seated at a table. Ross is between them and they are discussing the wedding bill.)
Phoebe: Or, we could not tell them we know and have a little fun of our own
Mackenzie: Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it?
Chandler: So who's gonna tell them?
Phoebe: Okay. Oh but dont tell them Monicas pregnant because, they frown on that.
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Rachel: Oh, well. Everything that I need (she takes her bag) is in here and my travel documents are on the counter organized in the order that I will be needing them.
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
Chandler: Wow! Look at them run.
[Joey shows them the torn-up newspaper.]
Fireman No. 1: You guys tell them you were married?
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
RACHEL: Ya know, I just, so weird. I mean I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other and all I kept thinking about was the fourth of July.
Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You cant, their dead.
Phoebe: Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Ross: And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what youre thinking, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and youre right, Chandlers not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
(Robin interrupts her again by complaining loudly to Billy as the camera cuts to them.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone except Phoebe is there. Bonnie is telling them of her sex-capades.]
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh?
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Monica: Yeah, Ive had them picked out since I was fourteen.
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
Chandler: (To Monica) Maybe we should give them some privacy.
Monica (as Rachel): ..well, why don't you tell them? After all it, is your ankle.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know, Frank. I counted them when they were coming out of my area.
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
Rachel: Uh-huh... why... do you not like them?
Phoebe: You saved them! You guys! Oh God, youre the best!
Joey: Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go.
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
Chandler: It's ok, it's ok. You know what? (Takes out his mobile) I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. (starts dialing)
Phoebe: Well, then you should come tonight. You know, just hang out with them. Let them see what a great guy you still are.
Joey: All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
Rachel: Yeah I know, but one of them just said that she loved me so I just gave her everything.
Mike's mom: No... It's lovely. The lights and the snow. I could look at them forever.
Ross: (happily) My best friend and my sister! I cannot believe this. (He hugs them both.)
Phoebe: See, we dont need them.
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
Joey: Thanks for stopping by. See ya! (Throws them out and closes the door.) (To Cecilia) I-I am so sorry. I
PHOE: Ok, um, hi, hello, hi, ok, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up. Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night".
Phoebe: Alright, here's my $7.50. (Hands them the money) But I think you should know that this money is cursed.
(Chandler pushes him through the door and Monica closes it behind them.)
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Rachel: Well, yknow he lost his keys so he was looking for them
Ross: Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy, ok? But the swings are perfectly safe, and besides Emma loves them. You know what, you should come with us and you'll see!
Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
Monica: Okay. (Starting to go through them) Oh! A coloring book! (Holding it up.)
Phoebe: No, Im really okay with this. Yknow why? Cause look at them, and I made that, so I know its gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, its gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. (To Frank and Alice) I wanna carry your baby.
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
CHANDLER: That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
Mr. Waltham: Sorry old boy, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. (Them all walk away. As he leaves he mutters to Jack.) I could kill you with my thumb, you know.
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Uncle Dan: Heres a little something to get you started. (Hands them a check)
Monica: Well I dont have them either. Where are they?
Monica: All right, Ill take one box of the mint treasures, just one, and thats it. I-I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds. (to Ross) Remember, how Dad bought all my boxes and I ate them all?
Rachel: Well, it doesnt sound like it! I mean, its pretty easy not to kiss someone, you just dont kiss them! See look at us, right now, not kissing!
Chandler: Well, youre welcome. And tell them were really glad theyre coming.
JOEY: Closed set. We know but we're friends with the monkey. [guard lets them in]
Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go.
MONICA: Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other.
Rachel: They wanna know if I'm okay. Okay.. they wanna know if I'm okay, okay, let's see. Well, let's see, the FICA guys took all my money, everyone I know is either getting married, or getting promoted, or getting pregnant, and I'm getting coffee! And it's not even for me! So if that sounds like I'm okay, okay, then you can tell them I'm okay, okay?
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
CHANDLER: Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
The Second Guest: We went to college with both of them and now we live next door.
Monica: Ooh, these tennis shoes are so tight. I think Ill take them off. (Goes to do so.)
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
Ross: Turns out them Emily is just crazy about Susan. Yeah, theyre going to the theatre together! Theyre going to dinner! Theyre going horseback riding!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, its the one with the fake chocolate. Monica has baked some cookies and Phoebe is trying them.]
Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot.
Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.
Joey: Somehow they got the idea that you only invited them because of me. They feel a little unwanted.
(Ross lets them both sit in his chair.)
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the stores door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)
Ross: (happily again) You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react? (He hugs them both.)
(She rises, dragging Chandler along by the wool. Rachel has to leap over a chair to follow them. Monica opens the door to find Mr. Heckles standing there.)
Monica: Look Rach, we have to move. I mean if they had lost, we wouldve made them get rid of the birds. Right?
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)