words in movies
[Chandler throws his coat on the couch]
Chandler: Oh! Thats great, they havent seen the place since I moved in!
[Monica goes to fiddle with something on the table.]
[Monica goes to the stove.]
Chandler: (shocked at the news) Why cant I tell them that we live together?
Monica: Because they dont know were dating. (Again, trying to quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and the stove to cook.)
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
[Chandler goes to stand to the side of the TV.]
Ross: Yeah, see, we-we-we have to stop across the hall, because its my sister. But, uh, uh yknow actually, growing up with a sister was nice because it really helped me understand women. Yeah, you-you should tell your friends that.
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Joey: Oh, ooh the food smells great, Mon!
Ross: And the place looks so nice!
The Girls: Happy Thanksgiving!
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Monica: Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl?
Ross: Oh, but-but it is, uh, its just like the first Thanksgiving, when the Indians and the Pilgrims uh, sat down to dinner.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
[Phoebe walks from the living room to the kitchen and talks quietly to Rachel.]
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Chandler: (worried) Hes the headliner of a gay burlesque show.
[Rachel is in the kitchen fiddling with her English truffle. Joey and Ross, anxious to leave and go to Janines party, are egging her on to hurry up.]
Joey: Rach, youre killin us here, will ya serve the dessert already? Those drunken dancers are waiting!
Ross: W-What was the one right before bananas?
Rachel: The beef? Yeah, that was weird to me, too. But then, yknow, I thought well, theres mincemeat pie, I mean thats an English dessert, these people just put very strange things in their food, yknow. [To Joey] Oh! by the way, can I borrow some Rum from your place?
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Ross: Oh my God, the pages are stuck together!
Joey: (sad) Oh man! Now shes gonna start all over! Were never gonna get to introduce the hot girls to the new world!
Joey: Just let her serve the beef-custard thing?
[We see a shot of Jack drinking condensed milk on the couch.]
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
[Scene: Rachels old room. Its pretty much empty except for a few boxes against the walls. Ross and Chandler enter.]
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
Ross: I dont know, aheh, yours was the first name that-that popped into my head, Im Im sorry. I-I didnt think it would matter.
[Scene: Rachels Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]
Chandler: The reason we havent told them were together is because they hate me, okay? So will you fix this?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
Rachel: So why dont you just let me worry about making the trifle and you just worry about eating it, alright?
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
Ross: Okay, okay, well just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)
[Joey and Ross go back out into the main area.]
[The hallway. Rachel and Ross go out and they just stand there for a few seconds.]
Ross: So um...Thanksgiving. The holiday season is upon us, hm?
Rachel: I thought this might happen today. Ross, I know the holidays can be rough. Yknow? And its probably really hard for you to be alone right now.
Rachel: No, I-I live with Phoebe. I mean youre [pity-tone] alone, alone. And I just-its just not the time for us. Im sorry.
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Rachel: Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.
[Rachel hands Monica a plate. Monica takes a spoonful of the whipped cream portion.]
Rachel: Oh oh oh, wait! You only got whipped cream in there! Ya gotta take a bite with all the layers!
[Monica puts the pea on top of the spoonful and takes a bite.]
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
Chandler: (clearly lying and hating the dessert) Yeah, this is so good, that Im gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.
[Chandler exits to the balcony.]
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
[Monica exits to the bathroom.]
[Rachel leaves to the balcony.]
[Rachel and Chandler re-emerge from the balcony.]
Rachel: ...So a bird just grabbed it, and then tried to fly away with it and, and then just dropped it on the street?
Chandler: (lying) Yes, but if its any consolation, before the bird dropped it, he seemed to enjoy it.
Phoebe: Rachel, come here. (Rachel walks over to Phoebe. Chandler sits down on the lounge-chair.) Okay, I was just starting to take my Thanksgiving nap, and I had another dream about Jack.
Phoebe: Yeah, but then Jacques Cousteau came and he kicked his ass for betraying me! It was soo cool! Then, he took me diving and he introduced me to his pet seahorse, who, by the way, was totally coming on to me, and please, that is not gonna happen.
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
Ross: Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didnt break the porch swing, Monica did!
[The Gellers glare at Monica.]
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]
[The Gellers glare at Ross.]
Rachel: (reading the recipe magazine, finally figuring out that...) I wasnt supposed to put beef in the trifle!
Joey: (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
Phoebe: I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. (Singing) "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..."
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
Monica: G'bye, Nana. (She kisses her on the forehead.)
CHANDLER: Wait, wait, wait. [Opens the top of the dish soap he's holding]
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
Ross: Hello to the rest.
Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise.
Rachel: Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Rachel: Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I cant even comfort my own baby! Im the worst mother ever!
Monica: Okay, we'll start with the building. You guys take the first and second floor, Phoebe and I'll take third and fourth.
Joey: I dont know, it looks the same.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
Joey: Chandler... hey... (he goes towards his room but he stops near Emma's cot) Rach... what's Hugsy doin' in the crib with Emma? (he looks puzzled)
(Ross and Chandler turn at the voice...)
Mr. Geller: Youre right, youre right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good.
Jack: I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny!
Phoebe: Would you say your pesto is the best-o?
Chandler: Oh, tons, I'm quite the woodsman.
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Monica: Do you want to go to the bathroom, or do you wanna play poker?
Chandler: Ahh yes, the messers become the messies!
Rachel: Hi. Thanks for the party, honey. Should I help you clean up?
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.]
Rachel: I'm on the phone! (On the phone) Dr. Wiener? (Ross and Rachel walk away)
Ross: You want me to take some girl Ive never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
[Scene: The New School, Monica, carrying her dish, and Joey are confronting the food critic.]
Leslie: I ran into Vlad at the place where they sell the big fish, and he said you played here a lot, so umm....
Amy: So you're going to give me the baby?
Ross: Oh okay, lift it straight up over your head! Straight up over your head! You can do it! You can do it! (She gets it lifted up and they make the first turn.) Okay. You got it?
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Joey enters strutting.]
Phoebe: (entering) Hey! Whats up? (Sees the TV) Oh my God! What am I doing?!!
[Scene: The Reception Hall, the party is in full swing.]
Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Monica: Hey, how long are you in the city?
(They start kissing again and when Joey grazes, she slaps him three times, on the hand, and on both cheeks)
(Hayley laughs and goes into the kitchen thinking it's a joke, Joey doesn't see what's so funny about it)
Chandler: So you knew we were gonna miss the movie!
(He throws his piece back in the box, runs into the living room, looks for a place to hide the pizza, finds one, slides the box under the couch, sits down on the table, and tries to quickly chew the food in his mouth.)
(The others have been taking all this in.)
JOEY: Great. Then you'll be able to spend more quality time with your real friends, the spoons.
(Rachel slips, loses her balance, and falls over the edge..)
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
The Salesman: Do you ah, currently own a set of encyclopedias?
Phoebe: No-no, oh, Im fine with the age thing y'know, until it starts sticking its tongue down my little brothers throat!
Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.
Chandler: What if Mary-Angela comes to the door and I ask for Mary-Angela?
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, yknow? I can get out, "Joey, I have too " but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, " go to the bathroom." He may think Im sick.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is on the phone as Joey enters.]
FBOB: OK, look, this isn't the first time somebody's said something to me about this, but, I don't know... I always made excuses about it, like... uhhh... 'I'm just a social drinker,' or, 'C'mon, it's Flag Day.'
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Chandler: Well, look its been a really emotional time yknow, and youve had a lot to drink. And youve just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight!
[Scene: The beach house, Joey and Chandler are sitting at the dinner table, Monica is looking in the fridge.]
Pete: Lights. (The lights turn on, once again theyre too bright.) Uh, romantic lights. (The lights dim.)
Monica: That kid really kicked me hard on the plane.
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
PHOEBE: Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.
Monica: Mira, Ross, Marcel se llevo el control remoto. (Look, Ross, Marcel's got the remote.)
Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
Monica: All right, were you guys smoking something in the back of our van?
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
(He carries her over to the door and opens it.)
Mike: I'm gonna go. (He kisses Phoebe on the cheek)
Ross: I think you made it clear you cannot be trusted with the ball inside the house!
Amy: Oh. Yeah. Well.. You didn't come see me when I was in the hospital when I was getting my lips done.
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
MONICA: Hide the Lamp.
Mr. Geller: Oh, well, I, I guess it musta been the day after you were born. We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep, and they brought you in and gave you to me. You were this ugly little red thing, and all of a sudden you grabbed my finger with your whole fist. And you squeezed it, so tight. And that's when I knew.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Monica: (having the same problem) You're the best friend I ever had.
Ross: (looking at the remote) How did he do this?
The Girls: Woo-hooooo!!!!
Chandler: So, well do the rest of the bills later then?
Joey: (Looking at himself in the reflection on a knife) How do I look?
(The Lion Sleeps Tonight starts to play. Marcel starts to dance.)
Chandler: I am your friend, and I am not gonna let you do this!! (Ross is now dragging Chandler and the foosball table to the door) You are surprisingly strong!
Ross: Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Dr. Li: Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there.
Phoebe: Why, so he can get mad at the baby?
Monica: (entering) Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? (They ignore her.) Guys?
Phoebe: Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
Chandler: Ok, Monica, only dogs can hear you now, so, look, the door's open. Here we go.
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
Emily: If anyone asks, well just say Ben addressed them. (Looking through the envelopes.) Oh! So you invited Rachel then?
Chandler: Well, what did the police say?
Ross: Oh. (He takes the picture and hugs her.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
(The guys all duck under the table.)
Phoebe: Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home.
Chandler: (Pause) No. No, I-I was, I was talking about the book I was reading.
Joey: Oh, were having a big party tomorrow night. Later! (Starts for the door.)
Joey: Uh-uh nothing. I-I-I-I didn't want you to touch me cause I'm -I'm all sweaty from the workout. I better hit the shower. (Goes into the bathroom and comes back out quickly) Oh my God!