words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Rachel: (coming from the bathroom) Hey Pheebs?
Rachel: What Phoebe? Wait! One time he caught me smoking he said if he ever saw me doing that again hed make me eat the entire pack.
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
Phoebe: Oh my God!!! Monica!! Hes the stripper from your bachelorette party!!
Joey: This is so unfair! The one thing I wanted to do was throw my best friend a bachelor party, but no, I wasnt allowed to. All I got was a stupid steak dinner!
Chandler: You went home with the waitress.
Chandler: I cant believe you didnt tell me! You know that the two pillars of marriage are openness and honesty!
Monica: Ugh, I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass!
[Scene: A Restaurant, Rachel and Phoebe are having dinner with Dr. Green, and everyone is looking at the menu.]
Dr. Green: How about I order everyone the Moroccan chicken?
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Phoebe: Hes right though, the 74 is absolute piss.
Rachel: No its okay, this is whats gonna happen. Im gonna wait a couple years and then the baby will tell him.
Phoebe: Why, so he can get mad at the baby?
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Dr. Green: I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
Dr. Green: Who is the father? Oh no! Please dont tell me its her! (Points at Phoebe.)
Dr. Green: (laughs) Poppy. (To Phoebe) Oh, Im gonna be a poppy. (Stops laughing) So when is the wedding?
Dr. Green: The wedding! Theres going to be a wedding. Young lady, dont you sit there and tell me my first grandchild is going to be a bastard! (Rachel pauses) Rachel Karen Green, tell me there is gonna be a wedding!!
Chandler: Shes okay with Rachel and the baby?
Chandler: Well, you have to honest with her! Otherwise you may think that youre going down the same path, but youre really going down different ones.
Monica: (entering) Oh my God! You are gonna love me so much! I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight youre gonna have a bachelor party.
Monica: Yeah, I got this number from this guy at work and I hired a stripper to come dance for you. Am I going in the wife hall of fame or what?!
Joey: Will you let the lady talk?!
Monica: Please! I feel so bad! Just watch the hot woman get naked!
[Scene: The Restaurant, dinner has ended and Phoebe and Rachel are talking. Dr. Green is not at the table.]
Phoebe: Its Lafite. The 74 Latour is actually drinking quite nicely.
Dr. Green: I think I may be able to book The Plaza on short notice.
Rachel: Really?! The Plaza?!! Oh daddy!! (Hugs him and Phoebe glares at her.) Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please, sit down.
Chandler: Okay. I cant believe tomorrows the big day.
Joey: How does it feel knowing youre never gonna be with another woman again huh? Knowing youre gonna have to wake up to the same face everyday until you finally have the sweet release of death.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Joey: Thats her! Okay, come on! (They go over and open the door.)
Stripper: So is that a bedroom? (Points to the guestroom.)
Stripper: All right, whenever youre ready. (She goes into the bedroom.)
Joey: Why-why would she go in the bedroom?
(They both slowly enter the bedroom and quickly walk back out.)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross and Mona are sitting on the couch.]
Mona: I love your place! Where is this guy from? (A statue from the top of his apothecary table.)
(They start making out and she kicks the eighteenth century Indian artifact from Calcutta off of his apothecary table from the days of yore and the magical city of White Plains.)
Ross: Aw forget it, its from Pier One. (Theres an angry knock on the door.) Sorry. (Goes and opens the door to an irate Dr. Green.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are discussing what to do about the now naked hooker in the guestroom.]
Chandler: Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. (Walks towards the bedroom.) Maam, are you also a stripper?
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Ross: Hey! I did not dump Rachel! (To Mona) Nor are we still together. (The phone rings and Ross goes to answer it, only hes trapped behind the apothecary table by Dr. Green.) Can I just (Dr. Green glares at him.) Why dont we just let the machine get that?
Stu: So, tonights the night of the big bachelor party?
Stu: No problem. So whos the party for?
Stu: Either that or shes just the best, most expensive date I ever had.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey and Chandler are still deciding what to do about the hooker.]
Chandler: This is the worst bachelor party ever!
Chandler: All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! (Joey smirks.) What?
Joey: You got it. Come here. (They hug and are observed by the hooker.)
Hooker: Oh God! Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys. (Does the close sign.)
Monica: (entering quickly) Shes a hooker! Shes a hooker! Shes a (Stops as she sees her.) Hi! Uh, we spoke on the phone. (Goes and shakes the hookers hand.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are at the counter as Ross enters.]
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross is opening the door to Mona. Rachel is there as well.]
Rachel: I mean he was possessive, he was jealous, he could never just let the little things go!
Mona: Yknow, I-I-I just I dont want to get in the middle of something so complicated.
Rachel: I know, I get it, but Mona, what relationship is not complicated? I mean we all have our baggage! You must too! Why else would you still be single? (Mona looks at her.) I am so gonna leave right now. (Ross opens the door for her and she leaves.)
Mona: Okay, I guess you can close the door now. (He does so and they kiss.)
Rachel: (entering) Forgot my purse! (Sees them kissing.) Oh, you guys made up. (To Mona) Hes a good kisser isnt he? (Ross goes to close the door on her.) Im going! (Quickly leaves and Ross locks the door.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the bachelor party has ended and Monica is trying to explain herself to Chandler.]
Monica: Yknow what? Im gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper (turns on the radio), and youre gonna get a stripper. (She starts to strip.)
(She does so by taking off her jacket seductively, only she has trouble getting one hand out and slams the jacket on the chair angrily to remove it.)
Monica: Gotcha sailor. (Kicks one of her shoes off and it lands in the kitchen knocking something down, but she continues to strip.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Dr. Green: (on phone) just because youre not in love with the guy you cant
Phoebe: (entering, quietly) Wow, you told your dad the truth.
Rachel: Yes! (She gets up and sets the phone on the counter without hanging it up.) Bye daddy. (Phoebe and her leave.)
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Joey: (on phone) Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! (Listens) What gives you the right to (Listens) Go to hell! (Hangs up the phone and opens the fridge.) Stupid guy on my phone.
(She goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Rachel: (she goes towards the others and she's very excited) Guys, you're not gonna believe this! I was just saying goodnight to Emma and she said her first words!!
Chandler: Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that Im related to Monica. How is she?
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
Monica: No, umm, he met some girl at the coffee house.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Mike: Hey, Chandler, why dont we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow?
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
Rachel: Thats weird, she locked the door.
Ross: Hey listen man, about the stripper
CHANDLER: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
Joey: He's right, cause if you're just gonna, like, break his heart, that's the kind of thing that can wait.
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Phoebe: Ooh, the pizza guys here!
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is walking up and notices a car that is parked half on the curb and right in front of the door, making it difficult for people to enter Central Perk.]
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Another Scientist: And I need to flip the light switch on and off 17 times before I leave a room or my family will die.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]
Ross: Yeah, yeah. (opens the door) It wasnt every morning.
[cut to the living room where Mrs. Burkart is now performing.]
Joey: Yeah, yeah. I've got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming...
Ross: Uh actually Joey, its the Cretasous period.
Joey: (going out with the VCR in his hand) Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!
Ross: (opening the door.) Hey!
[Scene: The rugby game, Ross is getting killed.]
Chandler: You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that.
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Ross: Something couldve happened. All right? She-she really dug my slides. And-and she was definitely giving me the vibe.
Mr. Waltham: Its the Gellers!
Phoebe: Nothing! (Picks up and sets the chick down on the floor.) (To the chick.) This is not over!
Chandler: Yknow what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones.
(The whole gang enters.)
[Monica answers the door. Its Fun Bobby.]
Ross: Why don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall?
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
The Fireman: The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, dont wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica."
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Monica is getting the door.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is whining to Chandler about the tickets.]
Chandler: (changing subject) OK, so at this point, the dealer...
Eric: Absolutely. (They kiss and Phoebe heads for the door.) I love the way you kiss.
Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
(The customer turns out to be )
Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)
Rachel: Oh, please!Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm...OH MY GOD!Is that Christian Sanders?He's so gorgeous!
Ross: (turning around.) Umm, uh, I was just telling the guys
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
Kathy: (going over to the box) Chandler?
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys Bathroom: Chandler is watching the duck swim in the bathtub.]
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
[Scene: Central Perk. The four guys are returning after getting the hat back.]
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
Joey: Oh, heres where I win all my money back! (Gets up and heads for the buffet table with Chandler in tow.)
Rachel: Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will!
Joey: (Holding a magazine) Wow! The new Playboy!
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Phoebe: (Angrily.) Hey, were the hell have you been?!
Chandler: Oh, I think I have the cash.
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
MRS GREEN: The only man I've ever been with is your father.
Monica: (Remotely turning off the television) okay, Pheebs, theyre gone.
Monica: No, that is what the game is.
Monica: (Interrupting) Oh, what about that guy over there? (She points at another guy and Gunther is deflated.) Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
(Joey and Chandler both come into the hallway.)
Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? (Goes to the counter)
Phoebe: So, what? Monica, we have the winning ticket! My psychic said I was gonna win, remember?
Joey: Oh, it was so amazing. After the (pause) love making...
(Cut to Joey watching TV in the corner. He makes an extravagant gesture of disappointment.)
Chandler: (admiring his work) This, this actually is a (Does the same gibberish word from before.)
Phoebe: Hey Ross! Doesnt Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?
Monica: Well discuss it, in the morning! (Slams the door shut.)
The Vendor: Good choice.
JOEY: Woah. Why do you get to keep the table?
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.
MONICA: I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What?
Receptionist: Phoebe, your next client's in the waiting room.
RACHEL: Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.
Chandler: so then the farmer says, "Thats not a cow and youre not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
Chandler: Its the theme from Good Will Humping.
Chandler: Yeah, thats like the most ugliest dress Ive ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
(Joey and Ross enter causing Chandler to quickly hide the brochure behind his back.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
Minister: You may kiss the bride.
[He walks out of the bedroom and Monica starts to remake the bed.]
(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)
Chandler: Well, I was cleaning out the closet and I found some pictures of them... being used.
Phoebe: (looking at the clock) Oh wow, three hours and still no baby. Ugh, the miracle of birth sure is a snooze fest.