words in movies
Shelley: Well yeah! ...Oh God. I- just- I thought- Good, Shelley. I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now...(backs out of the room) Okay, goodbye...
Chandler: Huh. Did, uh... any of the rest of you guys think that when you first met me?
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
Aunt Lillian: The doctor says it's a matter of hours.
[Cut to the hospital, later. Everyone is talking about Nana.]
Monica: The fuzzy little mints at the bottom of her purse.
(The nurse comes out of Nana's room.)
Monica: G'bye, Nana. (She kisses her on the forehead.)
(He goes to kiss her but she moves. Monica screams. Ross shouts and stares in disbelief. Monica runs out of the room.)
Ross: Y'know how-how the nurse said that-that Nana had passed? Well, she's not, quite..
(Monica returns with the nurse and they go into Nana's room.)
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
Phoebe: Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, sitting on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her.
Phoebe: Y'know, I dunno who this is, but it's not Debbie. (Hands back the pencil)
(He tries pushing against the chest of drawers. Then he opens one of the drawers and climbs into the closet using that; he falls behind the chest of drawers with a shout.)
Monica: ...And then we throw your body in the water... Gee, that does sound fun.
Chandler: No, nono, don't- don't worry about it. Believe me, apparently other people have made the same mistake.
Chandler: No! Uh, I d'know! The point is, if you were gonna set me up with someone, I'd like to think you'd set me up with someone like him.
[Scene: Nana's Bedroom, Ross is holding a dress out from inside the closet.]
Ross: (holding a dress out from inside the closet) This one?
Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.
Aunt Lillian: You know, whatever we pick, she would've told us it's the wrong one.
Mrs. Geller: You're right. We'll go with the burgundy.
Ross: Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. (Starts to climb over the furniture)
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Ross: No! Nonono, wait a sec. I may have something in the back.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]
Monica: Are these the shoes?
[Scene: The cemetary, after the funeral.]
Joey: No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception.
Ross: I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave)
[Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.]
Phoebe: Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh.
(Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat)
Ross: Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her)
Ross: Rachel. Rachel Rachel. (Sits down beside her) I love you the most.
Rachel: (humouring him) Oh, well you know who I love the most?
(Cut to Joey watching TV in the corner. He makes an extravagant gesture of disappointment.)
Joey: (hides the TV, but he still has an earphone) Just a, uh... hearing disability.
Mr. Geller: What's the score?
Joey: Seventeen-fourteen Giants... three minutes to go in the third.
(Time lapse. A large crowd of men are now watching the game)
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is.
Monica: Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the truth?
(There is a cry of disappointment from the crowd of men.)
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang are looking at old photos.]
Rachel: Aww, look at the little thing.
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
Lowell: It's like Mardi Gras without the paper mache heads. How 'bout you?
Lowell: Pretty much, most of the time. We have a kind of... radar.
Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is.
Joey: Okay, time to take off the bra. (She glares at him.)
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
PA: This is the final boarding call for flight 67 to San Diego, boarding at gate 42A.
Ross: Im going to uh Im going to, um, put the bourbon in it at home.
Rachel: Wherever I go. Come on you and me, we'll-we'll start a new group, we're the best ones.
Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'
JOEY: OK, we'll just leave, and when we pass her on the stairs, she won't know it's me 'cause we've never met. CHANDLER: That's how radio stars escape stalkers.
Chandler: Well, it's just with uhm, work and the stress of adoption, we just don't feel like we have the energy. Plus, we don't think it's fair that every year the burden falls on us.
Mr Campbell: Dating profile? I-I-I'm talking about the work resumé.
[they walk across the hall]
Rachel: Well, you sure had a hell of a time at the wake!
[Back at the table. Joey and Ross return. Shortly, Chandler comes out, holding the stall door in front of him, and leaves.]
Chandler: (Hands the tape back to him) I'm sorry man.
Ross: (following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?
The Dry Cleaner: You, get out of my shop!
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
JOEY: No I just uh, thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, a-la me.
Joey: Y'know what, I dont think we should listen to this anymore. (Goes to open the door)
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Richard: Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! (He is spitting on the hard Ps and Ts.)
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey and Ross are still trying to figure out how to get down.]
(Ross hands Rachel back the newspaper, and she starts beating him with it again.)
Ross: (he picks up the ball) What do you think you learnt how to do in the last two minutes?? (he enters another room)
Phoebe: Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly its my book to the rescue, huh? (Reading her book) Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
Chandler: Okay, look, I'm gonna pull on the door and you guys push as hard as you can. Maybe we can get enough room to wiggle him out, okay? Okay, so PUSH!
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Phoebe: Yeah well, once again not knocking pays off. I only wish you hadnt been on the toilet.
Joey: (entering) Pheebs come on! Bunny vs. Doody! Were waiting! (They go inside.) (To Chandler and Ross.) Okay. Okay guys, one match, winner take all. (They grasp each others hand in preparation for battle.) Oh wait-wait! What does the winner get?
JOEY: Closed set. We know but we're friends with the monkey. [guard lets them in]
Paolo: (something romantic in Italian about Rachel and the stars)
RICHARD: Uh, it's the college playoffs.
(They approach the young ladies. Dr. Mitchell consults Ms.Geller's admissions form.)
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
ROSS: Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.
Rachel: Okay, whos next?! (She looks around the room, and stops when she comes to Ross.)
Ross: What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap outta me.
(Joey gets up and moves to the other end of his row to talk to the guy sitting there.)
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
Chandler: Okay, heres the thing. Were gonna get you some coffee and they will never know that youre drunk.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
LITTLE BULLY: Oh, look who's here, it's the weenies.
Joey: In Bizarro World!! You broke the code!
EDDIE: That's a tomato. This one definitely goes in the display.
[Scene: The next time at the movie set.]
Joey: Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
Emily: I uh, I got it from the gift shop. They have really lax security there. (Chandler is shocked.) Its a joke. (They all laugh.)
Ross: No! For all I know, shes trying to find me but couldnt because I kept moving around. No, from now on, Im staying in one place. (He sits down on the bed.) Right here.
Rachel: Monica, yknow what? The only reason I did that was because your party was so boring!
CHAN: Don't touch the computer. Don't ever touch the computer.
Rachel: No, I think that was the whole all.
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
Monica: When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) You know what's weird. Donald Duck never wore pants. But whenever he's getting out of the shower, he always put a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?
JOEY: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel?
Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, Im sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10.
Joey: This is where I keep the pizza. (Its the same location as before.) AndHey! Where did the napkin go?! (The napkin is not in its spot.)
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
(Joey picks up a hammer and a crowbar and gets ready to destroy the table.)
Joey: Was she happy you gave her the job?
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She and David are still kissing each other in the living room.]
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
Joey: All right look man, I didnt want to bring this up, but Chandler, is the stupidest name I ever heard in my life! Its not even a name; its barely even a word. Okay? Its kinda like chandelier, but its not! All right? Its a stupid, stupid non-name!
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
Joey: Theres the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss?
Ross: (outside the door) So Im gonna take off then!
[Scene: The museum, Joey is giving a tour to a bunch of school kids.]
Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Chandler: And Im the happiest guy in the world! (Monica goes and sits down in a huff.) Oh honey, come on dont be upset. We still have so much to look forward to!
Phoebe: (singing) Food here at 'Javu'..will kill you..the food here at 'Javu' ...will kill you..
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
Monica: (comes running out the kitchen to the bedroom) Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it! Got it!
Chandler: Yes! See you and I have always been like(motions that they think the same.)
Monica: I know it is the best.
Monica: (turns his back to the stairs) Oh, it's a great party! Great food. Y'know, most parties it's all chips and salsa, chips and salsa. (As she's saying this Rachel tries to head downstairs but is blocked by people coming upstairs. She quickly retreats back up the stairs.) (Sees that she has to keep him distracted longer.) So umm, what's this? (Points to his plate.)
Ross: Well I'm sorry but you were! Okay? And besides if anyone should be hitting on her it's the guy who's single, the guy that who-who-who can do something about it.
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Chandler are on the couch.]
Joey: I feel so stupid, you know? Why... why do I keep going after the wrong girls?
RYAN: Give me the dice.
Priest on TV: We are gathered here today to join Joanne Louise Cunningham and Charles, Chachi-Chachi-Chachi, Arcola in the bound of holy matrimony.
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh! ...Hello, dear. (She whips the curtain shut in horror)
Chandler: All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
Rachel: Ok, off the top of my head... Don and Janet.
Chandler: Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
Ross: (to Monica and Rachel) Its winter, they are fewer people on the street. (Rachel and Monica smile and nod, knowingly.)
RYAN: You're scratching. Give me the dice.
Joey: Yeah. Cushions the blow.
MONICA: Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again .
Chandler: Thats right, I can throw her off. I can make her think marriage is the last thing on my mind.
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat, it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
(Ross gets down like all the other mothers, cradled in Susans lap like all the other fathers.)
Monica: No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]
Rachel: Why? Honey, what is the big deal?