words in movies
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Phoebe: Ah-ha! A classic sign of love, the hug!
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Phoebe: (taking his coffee) Okay, whatever you say. But just be careful, all right? Rachels not in the same place you are.
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
(She goes for his magazine and he grabs it away before she reaches it. But she was only using the magazine as a decoy because she grabs his cookie and coffee, takes a bite out of the cookie and drinks some of the coffee.)
Joey: I dont know! How about, "Thanks for taking the message." Jeez! (Exits.)
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really havent thought about it that much.
Chandler: Well, I like that idea. Obviously! I was thinking maybe-maybe-maybe it could be a game room, yknow? I mean you can buy old arcade games like uh, like Space Invaders and Asteroids for $200, the real ones! The big-big ones!
Monica: I just dont think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
Chandler: Which is why Asteroids is perfect! Its the oldest game!
Monica: What do you have against the beautiful guest room?
Chandler: I dont have anything against the beautiful guest room, especially since everybody we know lives about 30 seconds away!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming from across the hall.]
Joey: But youre still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. (Shows him the paper.)
Chandler: (reading the ad) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Nice!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch staring off into space as Rachel enters.]
Phoebe: Umm, Im trying to move that pencil. (Theres a pencil lying on the table.)
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!
Phoebe: Wait, no, look at this! (Points to one.) (Reading) "Two bedroom, two bath, must be non-smoker, Satan worshipers okay " Oh, yeah, but its on the ground floor.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Rachel: (returning from calling Warren) Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. Im never gonna find anything.
Rachel: Oh, I have to go tell Monica what a wonderful brother she has! (Kisses him on the cheek and exits.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is in the kitchen as Chandler enters.]
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
Chandler: Thats a great idea! We can easily think of a way for us both to enjoy the room.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what? Why dont we think about changes we can make in the living room?
Chandler: Yeah, I mean were gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. (Kisses her and heads into the living room.)
Monica: Youre-youre-youre gonna bring the Barca Lounger over here?
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Chandler: In the game room!
Chandler: All right! Thats fine! Thats fine! I wont bring over the chairs! I wont bring anything over! I wouldnt want to ruin the ambiance over here at Grandmas place!! (Storms out.)
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
The Potential Roommate: Oh dont worry, Im not really a party girl.
Chandler: (entering) You can call off the roommate search! (To the potential roommate) Hi! Ill be living here. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Chandler: Why did you take the shower curtain down?
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
[Scene: Rosss Apartment, Rachel is entering and Ross is making some room on the shelves for his stuff.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering, dragging Chandler, to mediate the argument between Chandler and Monica.]
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Chandler: Well, we are fond of the silliness, but we also have a soft spot for the love.
Monica: Love is the best medicine.
Ross: (jumping up) Good! A verbal contract is binding in the state of New York! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
Ross: Yeah but, on the bright side, we get to be roommates again.
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is once again being dragged in by Ross so he that he can try to manipulate the situation so that its best for Ross, not necessarily whats best for Monica and Chandler.]
Ross: So are you sure about this whole moving in thing?! I mean its a really big step! And-and whats the rush?!
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
Ross: Okay, there are no stupid fights!! This isnt about the room, this is about what the room represents! And unfortunately, this room (Points to Rachels room) could destroy you!!
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
(They run to the living room where Monica has moved the chair back (Towards the step), the coffee table forward (Towards the TV), and taped a square outline on the floor.)
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Rachel: No, the other thing. I really think its great they work things out.
Rachel: Hey, can I borrow the key to your house so I can run across the street and make a copy?
Phoebe: (on the microphone, accidentally) Yes.
Rachel: All right, well the place was closed. Ill just copy it later.
Rachel: Well, it would be easier to move just right across the hall. Wait a minute, unless youre thinking about Naked Wednesdays.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey has The Potential Roommate back for another interview.]
Joey: (opening the door to The Potential Roommate) Hi!
The Potential Roommate: Hi!
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
The Potential Roommate: Great!
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
The Potential Roommate: I can do that.
The Potential Roommate: Fight.
The Potential Roommate: String?
The Potential Roommate: Kitten?
Joey: Ooh, sorry! No-no-no, so close though, butbye-bye! (He ushers her out the door.)
Monica: Why cant you use the phone in here?
(They all run over to Joey and Ross, Chandler grabs the movie and reads the title.)
Gunther: But then I'd have to go all the way around the dry cleaner place.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is showing off the entertainment center.]
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Chandler: (comforting the duck) Everythings gonna be all right. Okay, Dick?
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
Phoebe: Okay y'know what you have to choose. All right, if-if the most important thing on the planet to you is this cat poopy thing then, okay you can have Smelly Cat, but we wont be partners. So whats it gonna be?
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
(They exit and close the door.)
Ross: You're right! (Gives her the twenty she won.)
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
Phoebe: Well I don't think it's very nice of you to park here, y'know you're blocking the entrance.
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
(Monica looks at Rachel, who gives her the thumbs up.)
Rachel: (shakes her head) Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
The Salesman: You picked a great couch.
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
[Chandler puts a coin in the mini jukebox at the table. YMCA starts playing and Monica and the rest of the staff have to get on the counter and start singing along and dancing. After a couple of couruses, Chandler pulls out a handful of coins and drops them on the table.]
Rachel: (sees the chick and the duck) Oh, yeah, Im sorry. They used to live here; sometimes they migrate back over.
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
(Brenda bends down to use the dustpan and Monica leans over to look for the stain, but leans so far over she falls out of the chair.)
Monica: Please! I feel so bad! Just watch the hot woman get naked!
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
Joey: Everybody smile! (The picture is taken) Okay, thanks a lot! Enjoy your stay at Caesar's! We hope it's toga-rrific! (The family leaves.) Kill me. Kill me now.
Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Rachel: That is right and traditionally the daddy is supposed to give the mummy a present but I am prepared to let that go.
Pete: Hang on a second. (to the employees) Ill-Ill talk to you in the morning. (turns two of the three off) Im sorry what?
Hillary: Maybe Ill just turn the lights down a little.
Ross: Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)
[Scene: The Xerox place, Chandler and Joey are waiting in line.]
Rachel: No. (She heads for the door again.)
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
Joey: Not good, no. I didnt get the part, and I lost my job here, so
Rachel: Monica, betting the apartment, I dont know about this.
Chandler: (He turns to Ross and Ross makes a Be strong sound.) I wanna quit the gym.
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
(He turns to go, but the sound of the sonogram catches hes ear. He returns and stares at it.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, they are all there eating breakfast.]
[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]
Hitchhiker: Yeah, yknow the license plate game?
Phoebe: On how far along he's in the sex change process!
Chandler: You look amazing. I'm the luckiest man in the world.
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
[Cut to the hallway.]
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. (Walks towards the door until )
The Saleslady: Yes, whats the name, please?
Monica: Maybe he's bothering you so much because he likes you. It's like in first grade when Skippy Langwild always pushed me on the playground because he secretly had a crush on me?
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Phoebe: Not unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist.
Monica: Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it.
Monica: I got you the foot massager.
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is sitting on the step drinking a beer as Rachel comes out of the guys apartment.]
ROSS: Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window?
Monica: Hey, I have all the space I need. Just do what I did.
Joey: Oh-ho-kay, Im talking to the king. (starts to go to a back room)
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Monica: A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.
Monica: Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor. (looks very convinced about what she just said)
(Monica leaves the room)
Ross: I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances?
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Monica: All right, let me see. (She grabs the 8 ball.) Will Chandler have sex tonight? (Reads the answer.) Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me.
(In frustration, Joey kicks the table, breaking it.)
Charlie: Anyway I just, uh, I think it's for the best.
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Phoebe: Okay. Whoa, sorry. Why were you just like all in the dark?
Rachel: Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.
CHANDLER: [Chandler gets in the back seat] Hey!
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss shoulder.)
Joey: Ooh, like the time you and I went to Atlantic City and I made you laugh so hard you threw up your whole steak?! Remember?
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
Joey: All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)
Monica: Okay, I think thats it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like theyre having fun dont they?
[Cut to the roof, where Joey and Mr. Treeger are dancing happily to ^Night and Day^.]
MNCA: Oh God, you fell off the wagon.
Ross: (entering) Hey, uh, Im really, really sorry about what happened in the cafeteria today.