words in movies
Chandler: Wow! So tonight may be the night! You're nervous?
Joey: Naa, no. This is the part I'm actually good at.
[Scene:Central Perk. Ross and Chandler are on the couch]
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Monica: I know, Amanda! Ah! She called me too! She's the worst!
Monica: She's this girl who used to live in the building before you did. Then she moved to England and she picked up this fake British accent. On the machine this is her message. (she apes Amanda using an awful British accent) "Monica, darling! It's Amanda calling!"
Phoebe: You know what Amanda said to me when she got me on the phone? (apes Amanda in a british accent) "Oh, so sorry to catch you on your Mo-Bile!" If-if you don't wanna get me on my mo-Bile, don't call me on my mo-Bile!"
Monica: I know, and she's always bragging about all the famous people she's met.
Phoebe: Cut her out of our lives! Just ignore her calls and dodge her 'till she gets the point!
[Scene: At the tanning salon. Ross and a male assistant are walking through a hall]
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
Ross: One Mississipi, two Mississipi, Three Mis...(the sprayer starts again, spraying him in the face and torso again) WAIT! WAIT! I'm not-I've not finished counting!! (he leaves the booth) (the assistant enters the room)
Assistant: Ain't that bad yet, but it keeps getting darker for the next four hours.
(The assistant leaves and Ross goes back in the spray-on tan booth and turns his back to the spray nozzles, facing the back wall)
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel enter the room]
Joey: Hey what do you say, we move this onto the likes of the couch?
(They move on the couch and start kissing again. Joey does his grazing on Rachel’s thigh and she slaps his hand)
Joey: What’s the matter?
(They start kissing again and when Joey grazes, she slaps him three times, on the hand, and on both cheeks)
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
(The machine picks up the phone)
Amanda: Hello Monica. It’s Amanda calling again. I am in the neighborhood hoping I can pop by your flat!
(Sound of dialing numbers is heard from the speaker of the machine)
Chandler: Hello? Is someone on the line?
Chandler: Hang on, she’s right here. (he enters the living room and hands the phone to Monica) Someone's on the phone, for ya.
[scene: Joey’s apartment. Joey and Rachel are sitting on the couch]
Rachel: Ok, let’s work from the top down! (Joey nods, but then puzzled because he does not get it) Just work the bra, Joe!
(Joey starts trying to undo her bra, but it won’t go.The elastic band snaps back, hurting Rachel.)
Chandler: Was that place... The Sun?
Monica: How could you mess this up? It's so easy? You go into the booth, you count to five and you turn around!!
Ross: (Yells) Damnit! (Goes to the door to leave. Rachel just enters, sees him and starts laughing)
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Monica: Well, you guys have been friends forever. Remember the first time that you kissed Ross? How weird that was? You couldn't stop laughing? You got through that.
Joey: Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second (points to the hall).
Chandler: (without taking his eyes off the bra) You don't know! (Monica just smiles)
Amanda: Well, it was 1992, and I remember because that was the year I had sex with Evil Knievel (She starts laughing very proudly).
Monica: (Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up)
Rachel: Excellent! Stick it in the ice bucket, the phone is off the hook, and in the interest of powering through (Starts to remove her bra from under her clothes)...
Rachel: Oh! Get over it soldier, we've gotta do this! (She pulls him towards her and throws him onto the barcalounger) Ok. Aha! You like that huh?
Rachel: You like that? (She climbs on the barcalounger seductively, putting her knees next to Joey's hips.) Let's take this into high gear (She pulls the barcalounger lever and seat reclines. She puts one of her knees between his legs and begins to kiss his neck.)
Phoebe: Please, Monica? In the hall?
(They both walk to the door and enter the hallway.)
[Scene: The hallway]
Phoebe: Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in.
Monica: Well, I guess we should go back in. When you gave me another chance, I guess we should do the same for Amanda.
(They both enter the apartment again, where Amanda is "dancing" for Chandler, but she's really terrible at it)
(Monica and Phoebe look at each other and leave the apartment again)
Glenda: Now, let me explain how this works. You go into the booth, and...
(Ross enters the room, takes off his robe and enters the booth. He stands with his back to the nozzles and then realises that this booth has nozzles at both sides of the wall)
(He then stops turning, facing one of the nozzles, which starts spraying in this face and front again.)
(He now turns to the other side, which also starts spraying his face and front.)
Rachel: What is the matter with us?
Joey: Well, I know what's the matter with me.
(Chandler enters the apartment)
Chandler: Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.
Chandler: I can tell from your expressions that that's the good news you were hoping for... Well, I'm gonna go continue to... spread the joy.(Chandler leaves the apartment. Joey sighs)
(Joey takes the ice-bucket with the champagne bottle in it and puts it on his sore spot)
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
(Ross walks to the door and opens it.)
(Ross closes the door)
Rachel: Oh well, hello. This is your lucky day Mr. Bowmont, the uh gentleman day sailer as just become available again and I believe that you made a bid of $18,000.
Mischa: (to Monica) And the vet said it was time. And so from half a world away, while my Mother held the phone to his ear, I said good bye to my dog,. In seven languages.
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Chandler: The... Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land, so...
Monica: Oh yeah, I remember mine! Ohh, it was my sixth birthday, my dad took me to the park, I got it, and it bent.
Joey: You got it! And the rabbis beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Pauses as he waits for C.H.E.E.S.E.s next line.) Its your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Suddenly C.H.E.E.S.E. goes crazy and starts flinging its arms and advancing on Joey behind the desk.) Wayne! Wayne!!
Monica: He just told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer!
Rachel: (looking at the check) Unbelievable!
(Rachel comes back to the gate.)
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
Joanna: Thats fine, actually Im on the hiring committee, so therell be at least one friendly face.
[Scene: Rosss birthday, his car is still trapped in its spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.]
Phoebe: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! Shes going to ruin the wedding!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is coming out of the bathroom carrying her cleaning gear.]
Ross: All right! All right! It was the best nap ever!
Phoebe: (to Arthur, hes the guy calling 9-1-1) Dumbass!
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Rachel: (starting to cry) Okay, Im sorry. (Runs out still carrying the pizza box.)
Monica: Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?
Monica:: maybe I will go (thinks) yea will have a second honeymoon at the Tulsa romana.
ROSS: Not at the concert.
Monica: All right, all right. Maybe I can fit them in if I just do some rearranging. But uh, Rachel may actually have to sit at the bar!
Monica: Hey, are you ready to get back on the dance floor?
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!
TV Announcer: Uh-oh, Bruiser has Becker on the canvas and is going for his favourite area.
Phoebe: (entering with some guy) Hey. Ooh Ross! Howd the conversation go?
Ross: (entering from the bedroom) Hey, what's goin' on? (Pats Chandler on the shoulder which causes him to jump.)
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
Ross: Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too.
Joey: Oh, tell me about it. And shes been on the show forever, its gonna be really hard to fill her shoes.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating the cheesecake and Chandler enters and catches her in the act.]
[The next one is from Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In.]
Ross: Rach you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?
Ross: Damnit! (Shuts the car off.)
Rachel: Ohh, and the nicest girlfriend! (She retaliates.)
Chandler: Ahh, just like the apothecary tables of yore
Judge: And finally that you were unable to consummate the marriage. Well, that makes sense since youre gay and addicted to heroin.
Ross: And she feels the same way?
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Joey: Don't worry, Chandler, it's not a globe of the United States.
Joey: This sucks man! The last night youre here and I lose the two most important things in my life, the foosball table and $500.
Rachel: Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporters machine!!
Rachel: Ross is on a date with my sister and they shut the drapes two and a-half-hours ago.
Joey: Noooo... Three Blind Mice goes like this... (he puts his fingers in position on the recorder)
Rachel: Well, I guess that's all in the past, now.
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, I'm sure. (Flashback resumes with Phoebe doing a voiceover.) And all of a sudden his hands weren't the problem anymore. (Flashback continues: Paolo rolls over, Phoebe looks down, then quickly looks up, bites lip, shakes her head)
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Joey: What? Yeah! Sure! Uh, look at the uh, the reason (Exhales slowly)Is it hot in here?
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Phoebe and Leslie: (singing) Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, always make me smile. Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, next time Ill.... avoid the..... pillleeeee.
EDDIE: At the uh, supermarket, in the uh, ethnic food section. I helped him pick out a chorizo.
Ross: You were under the pile of coats?
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I told her about the time you got drunk and fell asleep with your head in the toilet.
Rachel: Yknow, you-you also couldve used uh, lamps and then followed the light.
Chandler: Well, I did and it hurt. (they walk towards the bar) That's when I wrote the song: "Betrayal In The Common Room".
Joey: (stands up, and throws his coat on the floor) Im Joey! Im an actor! I dont know squat about dinosaurs!
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Ross are returning from working out.]
Joey: How does it feel knowing youre never gonna be with another woman again huh? Knowing youre gonna have to wake up to the same face everyday until you finally have the sweet release of death.
Mr. Geller: (Pointing items out on the bill.) Flowers, liquor, recarpet first floor. New guest bath, landscaping. Im paying to remodel this guys house. (Angrily gets up.) Im going to give that son on a bitch, a piece of my mind.
(We hear Tag scream out in the hallway and jump into view of the open door on the scooter. He gives a hearty thumbs up to the group and rides off, with Joey following breathlessly behind.)
Chandler: Okay Bob listen uhh, Im the reason you didnt get the job up here.
Ross: Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket.
Chandler: Come on! Gary's such a great guy! Whatever the problem is, you can work it out!
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!
Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to (Ross interrupts and shushes her.)
Ross: Are we off the bridge?
Rachel: No! Come on its late, were not gonna go down to the office.
[Monica goes to the stove.]
[Scene: Joeys in the front entrance watching for Rachel. The bridesmaid he met at the rehearsal dinner come in.)
Ross: 10 seconds, you need this or you lose the game.
Chandler: No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head: 'Run for your life! Get out of the building!'
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Joey: (looking between the pages and him) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
(they rush to the wall to Rachel and Joey's, and we move to that room)
Joey: No, no, hey, no! Too late for apologies... ok? You broke my heart. You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you? (and he leaves the apartment, leaving her shocked)
Mrs. Tribbiani: Well don't be, because now everything's screwed up. I just want it the way it was.
Rachel: (Is embarrassed for a moment, but it quickly passes) Well, now I don't have to. (The man leaves instantly)
Dr. Schiff: Okay then, would you like to lie down on the table?
Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not talking about Chuckles University?!
CHANDLER: By the way, this didn't seem so dorky in the hall.
BIG BULLY: Ok, nothing from the neck up. [everyone gets ready for the fight] Or the waist down. Dana's ovulating.
Joey: Yeah, that was a disappointment...(pause) Oh, hey!D'you want to come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing ok?
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Ross: Unless (Rachel groans.) You anticipated that I would figure all this out and you know that it actually is a girl, and you really do want her to be named Ruth! Well, Im not falling for that! Okay? Ruth is off the table!
(Monica starts on the form, while Rachel catches her breath and massages her ankle.)
Monica's Boyfriend: Yknow what honey? I got to get back to the hospital.
Ross: BecDid you not hear me?! Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department, okay? Theyre wild! Why do you want to come anyway?
Helena: (singing) For Im loved by a pretty wonderful boy! (Applause.) Hello! And welcome to the show. I see some of our regulars in the audience. And a couple of irregulars. (He starts going into the audience.)
Monica: Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.
Rachel: God, I hope he doesn't show up. Of course he's not gonna show up, the guy hates me.
Rachel: Good, good, good, good, good. (She runs to the drums and gets the sticks)
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Chandler: Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it kara-tay.
CHANDLER: [looks in the fish bowl to see a fish cracker] Well that's not an, even a real fish. No, that's a goldfish cracker.