words in movies
Phoebe: Um, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said 'We should do this again!'
Joey: Yeah. Cushions the blow.
Ross: What? Wh- hello? The Millners' farm in Connecticut? The Millners, they had this unbelievable farm, they had horses, and, and rabbits that he could chase and it was- it w- .....Oh my God, Chi Chi!
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."
(Joey takes out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. He fumbles and drops the lighter. Then he lights a cigarett, takes a drag, and coughs.)
(Joey reluctantly gives him the cigarette.)
Chandler: Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.
Monica: No, no, no. They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb to the tip of his index finger.
(The guys stretch out their fingers.)
(The gang swaps all the drinks for what they ordered as Phoebe enters. She sits down without saying hi.)
(Chandler leans over the back of the couch out of sight.)
Ross: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.
Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
Paula: Well, you do realise the odds of that happening are a little slimmer if they never get to meet the guy..
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is smoking out on the balcony, Phoebe is absent.]
(Chandler makes a 'Cross my heart' sign. It starts to rain and he taps on the window.)
(Phoebe enters, walks to the couch, sits down, and begins to read a letter without saying hi.)
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
(The intercom buzzes.)
Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?
Alan: (on the intercom) It's Alan.
(She opens the door and Alan enters.)
Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?
Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.
The Guys: (reluctantly) Yeah.
Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.
Phoebe: Yes, yes! Like the man in the shoe!
Phoebe: From the nursery rhyme. 'There was a crooked man, Who had a crooked smile, Who lived in a shoe, For a... while...'
Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.
Chandler: Oh, yeah. I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhof impression alone. You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right? (Does the impression)
Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself.
Monica: Hi.. how was the game?
Ross: He was unbelievable. He was like that-that-that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions, right, but instead of Bugs it was first base-Alan, second base-Alan, third base-...
Lizzie: Did you pick out the vowels?
Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)
Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.
[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette. While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a squirt of air freshener and gags.]
Lizzie: Keep the change. (To Phoebe) Sure you don't wanna pretzel?
(Phoebe opens the can and reacts.)
Rachel: It's worse than the thumb!
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?
Joey: ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?
Rachel: Ohh-ho-hooohhh. The hair comes out, and the gloves come on.
Paula: Waitwait.. we talking about the coyotes here? All right, a cow got through!
Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.
Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!
Monica: No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.
Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
Rachel: (holding the phone out to Chandler) Chandler? It's Alan, he wants to speak to you.
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
Rachel: I think he's across the hall.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart?.. Pheebs?
Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart?
Phoebe: Sorry. ..Y'know, those stupid soda people gave me seven thousand dollars for the thumb.
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?
Monica: (turns off the TV) Okay..
Ross: Who-who wants fair? Y'know, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were.
Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica is breaking the news to Alan.]
Chandler: (leaving) I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke!
[They both step out into the hall.]
Chandler: Uh-huh! Join me, won't you?! Okay, what do you say we keep one, and then just like have an option on the other one?
Mike: Well... hey, the key works...! (he looks as if he doesn't want to believe what's happening)
Phoebe: Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? You're afraid I'm a better singer? You're afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing?
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Phoebe: Nuh-uh. I don't think any of our lives are ever gonna be the same ever again.
SUSAN: The other us.
Ross: (answering the phone.) Hello. (Listens) Hi sweetie. (Listens.) Good. Look umm, yes I've been thinking about that thing that you wanted me to do and, I can do it. (Rachel gives him a thumbs up.) So will you come to New York? (Rachel wants to know what she said, and he gives her a thumbs up and she goes over and hugs him. All the time not knowing what's going on.)
(Ross gets all excited and starts to dance on the coffee table, but slips allmost immediatly, and falls onto the couch. Rachel wakes up.)
[Scene: Ross's place, Molly and Joey are talking on the couch]
Rachel: (She takes the T-shirt out of the box and holds it to her chest and take a deep breath.) No. Nothing. (She smiles and goes into her room.)
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
ROSS: Look it's the artist formerly known as Chandler.
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Rachel: I don't really care about the Knicks.
Ross: Yknow what? The doctor will be in soon, why dont we not speak until then.
Joey: (To Monica) Who the hell is this guy?
Rachel: Monica, you should totally put your name down on the list
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
ROSS: Rach. OK, forget, forget the lobsters OK. We're, let's talk, what about us?
Ross: Yeah, but when the baby comes shes gonna want to move.
Chandler: Man, I gotta get a kid. (looks at the pen and starts laughing)
Phoebe: Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
Chandler: You can wear them with shorts on a street corner and earn the money to pay for them. (Goes and gets some coffee at the counter.)
Joey: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked)
Monica: Carol called me to thank me for the lasagna, I asked, she told me.
Monica: Oh please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time.
Rachel: Dont worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, cause Im going to tell the father today.
ROSS: Still doing the screening thing?
ROSS: What's the matter?
Monica: It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes, Joey throws his sticks in the air, and I have to hear, "Oh my eye! Oh god, my eye!" I mean, it is so annoying.
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Chandler: Oh, I thought you were great in Silence of the Lambs. Oh come on, admit it! All things considered, you had fun tonight.
RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok, I will, I will, I, hey, I will clean the apartment for two months.
[knock at the door]
Ross: Ah, somebodys at the door on the ceiling.
Monica: Look Ross, the only question you need to ask is, "Do you see a future?" I mean like do you see yourself marrying her? (Ross pauses in consideration.) Oh my God! You did it already! You married her, didnt you?!
(Rachel grabs the bug bomb, activates it, throws it at the figure, and they both run out through the fog.)
[at the wedding]
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Rachel: Hmm. (she opens the freezer) Umm, why do you have a copy of The Shining in your freezer?
[Scene: Central Perk, the cast of Friends along with Conan OBrien are sitting and talking.]
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Ross: Oh sure, come here! (Sits her up) Sure you can! Uh, look come here look, (rolls the machine closer) its-its-its, its right there (Points).
Chandler: (on the phone) Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and.. (listens) Uh-huh... Uh-huh... okay... thank you. Good-bye. (hangs up looking very confused).
The Security Guard: Okay lady, you're out of here.
Ross: (he puts it in his mouth) Nope! Something else. (Throws it back under the bed.)
Chandler: The mans got a point.
[Cut to the hallway, Ben runs upstairs with Ross in pursuit.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are sharing a bowl of popcorn, while Monica carefully reads the instruction manual for her television set.]
Ross: Shut up! It was nice. I just... I don't think I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?
Phoebe: No. It starts with a "v" and ends with an "x". Helpfully with a "to" in the middle.
Phoebe: No! No, the robots just work for them.
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna go home and bask in the triumph of my Central Park idea. (Gets up to leave.)
Rachel: Yeah, I know. I had the greatest day though, I got to sit in on the meeting with the reps from Calvin Klien. I told my boss I liked this line of lingerie, she ordered a ton of it. How was your day?
Monica: There's nothing we can do. You erased the message!
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
PHOEBE: Well you said that he's paying the people who are playing.
Joey: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?
JOEY: Ah, the stalker.
CHANDLER: The one time they're not home.
RICHARD: Uh, in the future, if I could see the schedule beforehand...
Ross: I guess it all started when Rachel got this new job. (he sits down at the table.)
(The old lady at Phoebe's machine wins. Phoebe turns around in shock.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are there. Monica is holding the wrapping paper from one of Rachel's gifts.]
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
Joey: You got all that from the back of her head?
Joey: (on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!
Joey: Maybe thats the problem.
Ross: Wait a minute! How-how the hell did you beat us here?
Chandler: Little baby girl Chandler, where I have heard that before? Oh right, Coach Ruben. (Tries to get her to drink a little more from the bottle when he suddenly smells something. Its times like these Im glad Smell-O-Vision hasnt been invented.) Do you know what Pheebs? When youre done over there, we kinda have a situation over here too. (Phoebe is changing hers.)
RACHEL: Uhh, the mailman, the super.
(She walks out and slams the door.)
[Time lapse, Ross and Rachel are talking, Joey is on the couch, and Monica and Phoebe are out of the room.]
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
[Scene: Joey's co-star's apartment. Chandler and Joey are at the brunch.]
CAROLINE: I assume we're talking about the baby now.
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
Monica: Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
ROB: That was great, the kids loved you.
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
Chloe: And the advances in collating in the past five years, I mean we just got in an X-5000, y'know. The X-5000 makes the X-50 look like a T-71.
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
Joey: Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?
Charlie: And there is a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.
Monica: I don't care. <pauses and realizes...> Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold.
RACHEL: Oh, I know, I know. [Turns on the TV. Joey in on it.]
Chandler: Well, I'm crazy about her now. I think this could be the real thing. Capital 'R'! Capital 'T'! (Joey stares at him) Don't worry, those are the right letters.
Rachel: Ok. (She sits on the bed and Ross sits near her) Thank you for coming with me today.
Rachel: That is so sad. Your missing out on so much, Ross. I mean, the bonding and the sharing, you know. And-and knowing that someone else is going through the same thing you are.
Ross: Uh no-no, she-shes out for the night.
ROSS: Well for starters, you may want to light it and lose the spatula.
GRANDMOTHER: Oh, just updating the phonebook.
[Chandler closes up the laptop computer screen.]
Ross: She's gonna be a scientist! (kisses Rachel on the head, very moved)
[Cut to the rest of the gang sitting low on the couch and craning their necks to watch the interview.]
[Monica turns on the radio.]
Director: Lose the robe.