words in movies
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time well all be here in the coffee house as six single people?
Phoebe: Why?! Whats happening to the coffee house?! (Monica looks at her.) Oh! (Realizes.)
Chandler: Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.
Chandler: The young hot ball and chain.
Rachel: (checking her watch) Op! We gotta go! (The girls stand up.)
Monica: Were gonna pick up the wedding dress then were gonna have lunch with mom. (Joey stands up.)
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
Chandler: (smiling) Hey, I hear what your saying, okay? And, thanks for the warning.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the girls are having breakfast.]
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Rachel: Hey! Those are all the things Im responsible for!
Monica: I had to go with the odds Rach.
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Rachel: The commercial?
Phoebe: The movie?
Joey: Yes thats the one about the soldiers who fight in World War I!
Phoebe: Oh, yeah! Back then yknow, we called the Great War. It really was!
Joey: Well anyway, the guy they wanted backed out and now they want me! I start shooting today!
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
Joey: I know! All right, Ill see you guys over there! Im off to fight the Nazis.
Rachel: Oh, wait Joey! We fought the Nazis in World War II, not World War I.
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is in costume and standing at the craft services table. He checks his pockets and finds some prop coins in a pouch, which he replaces with some cookies.]
The Assistant Director: (approaching) Hey Joey! Were ready.
The Assistant Director: (to another actor) Richard? Were ready for you. (Richard approaches.) Joey Tribbiani? This is Richard Crosby hes playing Vincent.
The Director: (approaching) Okay! Were about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys dont mind, can we run it a couple of times?
The Director: Okay, all right. Lets do it. (He walks off.) And Action!
Joey: We have to find the rest of the platoon!
Richard: Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone! (He is spitting on the hard Ps and Ts.)
Richard: (still spitting) The platoon is dead! Face facts Tony!
Richard: No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta!
The Director: Hang on a minute! Joey, you keep touching your face. Is something wrong?
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is standing in the kitchen ready to leave for the rehearsal dinner.]
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom) Okay. Heres a question you never have to ask. My dad just called and wanted to know if he could borrow one of your pearl necklaces.
(She exits and as Chandler picks up his coat, the phone rings and the answering machine gets it.)
Monica: (voice on answering machine) Hi! If youre calling before Saturday, youve reached Monica and Chandler. But if youre calling after Saturday, youve reached Mr. and Mrs. Bing! Please leave a message for the Bings!
[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner, Chandler and Monica are greeting guests as they arrive. A woman enters.]
Chandler: Were the Bings.
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
(Chandlers Mom enters and Chandler meets her by the door.)
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Monica: He is the man in the black dress.
Rachel: Man in the black dress (Monica walks away and Rachel looks around to find a woman in a black dress.) (To her) Hi! Im Rachel! Im a friend of Monica and Chandlers!
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
All: To the Bings!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are in the kitchen.]
Monica: All right, Im gonna go steam my wedding dress okay? Who wants the responsibility of making sure nothing happens to it?
Monica: Yknow what? Youre right, Im sorry. Actually you were a big help tonight. Yeah, and thanks for putting my grandmother in the cab and making sure she got to the hotel safely.
Monica: Okay. Sorry. (Monica goes into the bathroom.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is wearing sunglasses and as he exits his bedroom, Ross enters the apartment.]
Ross: Oh, taking my parents back to the hotel.
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Ross: And if I remember correctly, Ray Ban was the official sponsor of World War I!
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe and Rachel are in the kitchen as there is a knock on the door. Rachel answers it.]
Ross: I think Chandlers gone. (He hands her the note.)
Rachel: (reading the note) Tell Monica Im sorry.
Phoebe: (walking up) Whats up? (Rachel hands her the note and she reads it.) Tell Monica Im sorry. (Pause) Tell her yourself!
[Scene: The Hallway, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are discussing the note.]
Rachel: Yeah but, maybe its not what we think. Maybe its tell Monica Im sorry I drank the last of the milk.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Richard: Just the last two pages.
(They go onto the set.)
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Joey: Thanks! Okay-okay check it out! (Reading from the script) Picture? What picture? (He pauses then spits) Eh?
[Scene: Central Perk, Gunther is behind the counter as Ross enters looking for Chandler.]
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Ross: Well then well-well see you the day after tomorrow. (Walks away slowly, but notices something.) Mom?! Dad?! (Theyre sitting by the window.) What-what what you guys doing here?!
Mr. Geller: Well you kids talk about this place so much, we thought wed see what all the fuss is about.
Mrs. Geller: I certainly see what the girls like coming here.
Mrs. Geller: The sexy blonde behind the counter. (She waves at Gunther who waves back.)
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know Im looking for him?
[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]
The Director: Action!
Richard: I found the picture!
Richard: The picture of my wife! In your pack!
The Director: Cut! Wonderful!
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
The Assistant Director: You are now.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
(The AD walks away wiping his face.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, the next morning, Rachel and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Rachel: (closing the door) Ross said theres still no word from Chandler.
Rachel: Oh but he did say that they found the grandmother wandering down fifth avenue.
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Phoebe: Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You cant do this here! (She drags her into the bathroom.)
(Phoebe reaches into the trash can, pulls one out, and hands it to Rachel.)
Phoebe: (looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
Phoebe: (finding something interesting in the trash can) Oh my God!
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bathroom, the scene is continued from earlier.]
Rachel: No, she had to have just taken that test because I took out the trash last night.
Phoebe: Oh God, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant. The groom is missing. And Im still holding this. (She throws the test back into the trash.)
Phoebe: Just for the future, this is hardly a commercial for it.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is just hanging up the phone as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
(They all go into the hallway.)
Monica: Yeah you will! The right guy is just around the corner! Okay, are we done with that?
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is reporting for work.]
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
The Director: What?!
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
The Director: What kind of surgery?!
The Director: But youre supposed to work on Monday.
The Director: But youre not bald.
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Ross: Aw, yknow Yknow, maybe were-were just approaching this all wrong. If youre Chandler and-and you wanna hide, where is the last place on Earth people would think youd go?
Chandler: How did you guys find me? I knew I shouldve hid at the gym!
Phoebe: What the hell are you doing?!
Chandler: Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that Im related to Monica. How is she?
Chandler: Because if I go home, were gonna become the Bings! I cant be the Bings!
Ross: Whats wrong with being the Bings?
Chandler: The Bings have horrible marriages! They yell. They fight. And they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games!
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Rachel: The nights are the hardest. (Checks her watch.) But then the day comes! And thats every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
Monica: (getting up) Im gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! (Starts for the bathroom.)
(Monica goes into the bathroom and Rachel thinks quickly.)
Phoebe: (entering) Found the vest! I mean were gonna have to keep an eye on it, yknow make sure we dont lose it again
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
(Monica goes into the bathroom and Phoebe and Rachel breathe a sigh of relief.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
The Director: Lets reset.
The Director: Lets take it from there.
Joey: Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And Im the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together?
The Director: Still rolling, annnnd action!
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
[Scene: The Hotel, Monicas room, Mr. and Mrs. Bing are staring at each other while Phoebe looks on.]
Mrs. Geller: Here comes the bride.
(The phone rings and Rachel answers it.)
Joey: Im still on the set!
Rachel: Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour!
Joey: I know! Im sorry! The guys drunk, they wont let me go until we get this.
Joey: No! No, Im the minister! All right, look-look, put em both on the phone, Ill marry them right now.
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
Chandler: Yeah okay. Well, whats the next little bit?
(Chandler goes out into the hall and lights up a cigarette.)
(He hears Phoebe and Rachel coming and hides in the ice machine room.)
Rachel: Well Phoebe, we gotta do something! (They turn the corner.) Well, yknow. I mean theres no way Joeys gonna make it in time. So Im gonna through the hotel and see if theres any other weddings going on.
[Scene: The Hotel, Rachel is walking through the ballroom area and comes upon the sign for the Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding.]
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
The Rabbi: I dont know. Are they Greek Orthodox?
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Mr. Bing: But that was after the wedding, its not bad luck then.
(They both go out into the hall.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
Joey: Aaron! You gotta let me go. The guys hammered!
The Director: Im sorry Joey, as long as hes here and hes conscious were still shooting.
Joey: So I uh, I just talked to the director. Thats it, were done for the day.
Richard: Well have we finished the scene?
Richard: Why? Are we done for the day?
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
(And as Joey walks out the door, Richard grabs a bottle of Scotch, just as the door closes and carries it with him.)
[Scene: The Hotel, Phoebe and Ross are looking for Chandler.]
Ross: Then where the hell have you been?!
Chandler: Well I was! Then I went down to the gift shop because I was out of cigarettes
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
(Mr. Geller turns the corner.)
[Scene: The moment we waited for has finally arrived. Its time for Monica and Chandlers wedding. Weve got violins playing Every Breath You Take, weve got guests seated, and Chandler starts walking down the aisle with his parents on either arm.]
Chandler: You look beautiful mom. (His dad clears his throat.) You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. (He kisses his dad on the cheek) Im so glad you here. (He kisses his mom.)
(He walks up onto the altar and notices the rabbi.)
The Rabbi: Are you Chandler?
(Ross walks down the aisle with Phoebe and Rachel on his arms.)
Ross: Ive never walked down the aisle knowing it cant end in divorce.
(Finally, Monica with her parents on her arms start down the aisle.)
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
(Chandler steps off the altar to greet his bride-to-be.)
(They both step up onto the altar and she notices the rabbi.)
The Rabbi: I am Father Kalebasous.
The Rabbi: Let us begin. Dearly beloved
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Joey: You may not kiss the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested in my by the state of New York and the Internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh wait! Do you take each other?
Joey: Aw crap! Okayuh uh lets-lets do the rings.
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
Chandler: (To Monica) I love you. And I know about the baby.
Chandler: Phoebe found your pregnancy test in the trash.
(The camera zooms in on Rachel who has a very worried and frightened look on her face and she slowly takes a deep breath.)
(She goes into the bathroom.)
Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Rachel: (she goes towards the others and she's very excited) Guys, you're not gonna believe this! I was just saying goodnight to Emma and she said her first words!!
CHANDLER: It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert...Look talk to Monica, she's on the food committee.
Monica: No, umm, he met some girl at the coffee house.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Mike: Hey, Chandler, why dont we talk this over at the Ranger game tomorrow?
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
Rachel: Thats weird, she locked the door.
Ross: Hey listen man, about the stripper
CHANDLER: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
Joey: He's right, cause if you're just gonna, like, break his heart, that's the kind of thing that can wait.
Paul: So Ross was in college and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her high school prom.
Phoebe: Ooh, the pizza guys here!
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is walking up and notices a car that is parked half on the curb and right in front of the door, making it difficult for people to enter Central Perk.]
Chandler: Y'know, I forgot the combination to this about a year ago? I just carry it around. Do you have any Chap Stick?
Another Scientist: And I need to flip the light switch on and off 17 times before I leave a room or my family will die.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]
Ross: Yeah, yeah. (opens the door) It wasnt every morning.
[cut to the living room where Mrs. Burkart is now performing.]
Joey: Yeah, yeah. I've got tons of stuff I could do. I'm gonna hit the beach, go swimming...
Ross: Uh actually Joey, its the Cretasous period.
Joey: (going out with the VCR in his hand) Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!
Ross: (opening the door.) Hey!
[Scene: The rugby game, Ross is getting killed.]
Chandler: You are an amazing wife. (Monica shrugs) No really you're amazing you were actually gonna do this for me, I mean where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that.
Chandler: Shh! (To the guy behind the counter) Nice to see you again. (They tries to walk past him.)
Ross: Something couldve happened. All right? She-she really dug my slides. And-and she was definitely giving me the vibe.
Mr. Waltham: Its the Gellers!
Phoebe: Nothing! (Picks up and sets the chick down on the floor.) (To the chick.) This is not over!
Chandler: Yknow what? You can say goodbye to the tan ones.
(The whole gang enters.)
[Monica answers the door. Its Fun Bobby.]
Ross: Why don't we just put 'poor little Tooty' out in the hall?
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
The Fireman: The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, dont wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica."
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Monica is getting the door.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is whining to Chandler about the tickets.]
Chandler: (changing subject) OK, so at this point, the dealer...
Eric: Absolutely. (They kiss and Phoebe heads for the door.) I love the way you kiss.
Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
(The customer turns out to be )
Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)
Rachel: Oh, please!Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm...OH MY GOD!Is that Christian Sanders?He's so gorgeous!
Ross: (turning around.) Umm, uh, I was just telling the guys
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
Kathy: (going over to the box) Chandler?
[Scene: Chandler and Joeys Bathroom: Chandler is watching the duck swim in the bathtub.]
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
[Scene: Central Perk. The four guys are returning after getting the hat back.]
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) Its for you. Its the fire inspector.
Joey: Oh, heres where I win all my money back! (Gets up and heads for the buffet table with Chandler in tow.)
Rachel: Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will!
Joey: (Holding a magazine) Wow! The new Playboy!
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Phoebe: (Angrily.) Hey, were the hell have you been?!
Chandler: Oh, I think I have the cash.
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
MRS GREEN: The only man I've ever been with is your father.
Monica: (Remotely turning off the television) okay, Pheebs, theyre gone.
Monica: No, that is what the game is.
Monica: (Interrupting) Oh, what about that guy over there? (She points at another guy and Gunther is deflated.) Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.
Rachel: No! No! Seriously, whats wrong with the dog?! Wait a minute, what are you doing home so early? What happened to your date?
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
(Joey and Chandler both come into the hallway.)
Chandler: Yeah, I believe I was talking to Joey, alright there, Mother-Kisser? (Goes to the counter)
Phoebe: So, what? Monica, we have the winning ticket! My psychic said I was gonna win, remember?
Joey: Oh, it was so amazing. After the (pause) love making...
(Cut to Joey watching TV in the corner. He makes an extravagant gesture of disappointment.)
Chandler: (admiring his work) This, this actually is a (Does the same gibberish word from before.)
Phoebe: Hey Ross! Doesnt Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?
Monica: Well discuss it, in the morning! (Slams the door shut.)
The Vendor: Good choice.
JOEY: Woah. Why do you get to keep the table?
(Rachel tries to get Monica's attention to tell her Steve is stoned. She pretends to drag on a joint, and Monica thinks she's giving her the 'OK' signal. Then Rachel does it again, inhaling deeply this time. Monica waves it off as though she doesn't believe it.)
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.
MONICA: I meant, why don't you take Richard to the game? What?
Receptionist: Phoebe, your next client's in the waiting room.
RACHEL: Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.
Chandler: so then the farmer says, "Thats not a cow and youre not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
Chandler: Its the theme from Good Will Humping.
Chandler: Yeah, thats like the most ugliest dress Ive ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
(Joey and Ross enter causing Chandler to quickly hide the brochure behind his back.)
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.
Minister: You may kiss the bride.
[He walks out of the bedroom and Monica starts to remake the bed.]
(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)
Chandler: Well, I was cleaning out the closet and I found some pictures of them... being used.
Phoebe: (looking at the clock) Oh wow, three hours and still no baby. Ugh, the miracle of birth sure is a snooze fest.
Phoebe: Alrighty, here come the water works. (Rachel starts crying harder.)