words in movies
(Chandler acts disgusted, but is happy that Joey has stopped snoring. However, just as he is about to leave, Joey starts snoring again. So to get him to stop, he slams the door shut, waking Joey.)
Chandler: Oh, okay, thanks. (He goes back to the couch and rejoins Monica, Joey, and Phoebe.)
Joey: Look, I told ya, Im not going to any clinic! I dont have a problem, youre the one with the problem! You should go to a "Quit being a baby and leave me alone" clinic!
(Joey starts humming Here Come the Bride.)
Phoebe: Oh, the Olympics.
Monica: Ugh, shes upstairs not doing the dishes! And I tell ya something! Im not doing them this time! I dont care if those dishes sit in the sink until theyre all covered withIll do them when I get home!
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is not doing the dishes. She hears someone coming up the stairs and quickly puts down her magazine and pretends like shes actually doing the dishes.]
Rachel: Hey, Mon, I was just doing the dishes!
Rachel: Oh! Its you. (She stops doing the dishes.) Hi.
Rachel: (breaking the hug) Uhh, hang in there?
Rachel: Yeah. Oh, yeah. And I mean, the connection, I mean yknow, emotionally, mentally, physically
Rachel: You are right there with Emily. And its yknow, its kinda like . its a tie! Well, I gotta get, I gotta get back to the dishes.
Ross: If like the four of us could all yknow, hang out together. Uh, in fact Emilys coming into town this weekend, why dont you say we all have dinner? Say, Sunday night?
Rachel: (to the closed door) Hang in there. You hang in there. (Gives him the raspberry.)
The Saleslady: May I help you ladies?
The Saleslady: Yes, whats the name, please?
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
[Time lapse. Monica is wearing the dress and starring at herself in the mirror.]
Phoebe: Youre the most beautiful bride Ive ever seen.
The Saleslady: Ms. Waltham?
The Saleslady: Were closing.
Monica: All right. (Goes to take off the dress.)
The Saleslady: And could I get my ring back?
(She disgustedly takes the ring off and gives it back.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is doing the dishes.]
Monica: Does she use the cups? Yes! I believe she does. Does she use the plates? Yes! I believe she does. (Looks at the wedding dress and stops.)
[Time lapse, Monica is now wearing the dress while doing the dishes and is making like she is thanking her guests for coming to her wedding. Paging Dr. Crane. Dr. Fraiser Crane!]
Monica: Oh. Thank you. Ohhh, thank you very much. Oh, thank you for coming. (Theres a knock on the door.) Uh, just a second!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is complaining about going to the clinic.]
Rachel: Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast its ridiculous! I mean, theyre gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realise what theyve done and theyre call the whole thing off. Im telling ya, youre gonna be dancing at my wedding before youre dancing at theres.
Joey: (still looking in date book) Hey! Thats the day after I stop menstruating! (They all look at him.) This isnt mine.
Joshua: Whats up? Youre voice sounded all squeaky on the phone.
Rachel: Cause I am really happy about us. I think we are, I think we are so on the right track! Yknow? I mean, I think we are working, I think we are clicking. Yknow?
[Scene: The Sleep Clinic, Joey is having trouble staying awake.]
(As she leaves, a beautiful woman enters and sits down across from the boys.)
Chandler: Youre coming on to the entire room! (He goes over to pick up a stack of magazines next to her, and to get her attention, he throws them back down.) Im Chandler.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Phoebe, still defying reality, are now throwing a bouquet at each other, pretending to catch the actual bouquet at an actual wedding.]
(She turns around and throws the bouquet to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Okay. (Phoebe turns and throws it on the couch.)
Phoebe: I hate my regular clothes now! Yknow? I look down and-and I know that this isnt gonna be the most special day of my life.
(Monica crosses her legs and is still wearing the garter belt.)
Chandler: Well shes, shes the kinda girlJoey was unconscious.
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Hey you guys! Whats happening?
Joey: (muffled) Oh, they gave it to me at the sleep clinic, and its gonna help me not to snore.
Joey: (takes out the mouth guard) I know I dont have too! It tastes good. (Puts it back in.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is putting away the wedding dress, finally.]
Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I dont think I even care. I dont think hes the one Im sad about. Yknow, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I dont think Im handling it all that well.
Rachel: Well, yeah, yknow how Ross and I were on again, off again, on again, off again? I guess I just figured that somewhere down the road, we would be on again.
Rachel: Its okay. Sometimes, things dont work out the way youd thought they would.
Rachel: (breaking the hug) Oh, hey, dont you have to go pick up Emily?
Monica: Oh, I wish there was a job where I could wear this all the time. (Pause) Maybe someday, there will be.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes to answer the door.)
Phoebe: No, yeah! The groom cannot see the bride!
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Dude! I am trying to sleep! (Shrugs to say, "Whats up with that?")
Joey: Oh, you are the best friends anyone has ever had.
Ross: Listen, I um I heard about the engagement.
Monica: Yeah, and I wanted her to get to know the doctors and get settled into the hotel.
(Chandler enters the room)
Ross: Nice, put it with the others.
Kathy: You really didn't have to. (Opens the box) Wow.
Chandler: Ok, how about this (picks up the remote control)?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Rachel: Ross couldn't fit down the trash chute.
Joey: Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.
(They pause, and they the start kissing passionately, and taking off each others clothes, and they start to lie down on the pool table.)
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Rachel: You took the same class twice.
[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, Joeys category is up next and the presenter walks to the podium.]
Joey: Yknow what? Why dont you just give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here?
Ross: No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils.
Rachel: Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour!
(As they turn the couch, Chandler gets sandwiched between the railing and the couch.)
Monica: My pink flowered bra! I recognize the strap!
Ross: There's something new in the bowl.
Ross: It's not the same.
[Cut to Phoebe in Rosss new apartment looking at Monica and Chandler and what theyre about to do in The One Where Everybody Finds Out.]
[The next flashback is from The One With The Candy Hearts. Joey and Chandler are waiting at a restaurant as Lorraine and her friend arrive.]
Monica: Ooh, chocolates on the pillows! I love that!
(She throws her bag inside, and starts to climb through the window. She gets halfway in and the window slams shut on her butt.)
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Chandler: I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped.
Phoebe: Oh no! He's not getting away that easy! (Phoebe and Joey run towards the bathroom and enter)
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about??
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Joey: Thats her! Okay, come on! (They go over and open the door.)
Rachel: It just might be too hard, given the history and all that
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Chandler is looking at the babies as Monica walks up.]
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Joey: Like this. (pointing to the picture) Pictures of cute babies we dont know. We..we cant have that.
[Scene: In the hall]
Monica: In the hall.
MONICA: (holding up a blanket) Where's Benny? (drops the blanket) There he is! (does it again) Where's Benny, there he is.
Chandler: Cheese, its smelly. You must smell a lot of the time too.
Monica: What the hell are you cooking!
Joey: The hardware store is right down the street.
Phoebe: I know. Then, Im gonna marry Chandler for the money and youll marry Rachel and have the beautiful kids.
Joey: Here. (Gives her the coins) Now I only owe you $49.50.
PHOEBE: I didn't watch the ending, I was too depressed. It just kept getting worse and worse, it should have been called, "It's a sucky life and just when you think it can't suck any more it does."
(Ross angrily throws the kit into one of Monicas new boxes.)
Chandler: Guys, guys, guess who I am?! (starts dancing around in an effort to stop the fighting.)
Joey: (entering the room) Hey!
[Scene: The Theatre, after the party. Joey is trying to comfort Kate.]
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are cleaning up the mess.]
Chandler: As bad as that went I actually enjoyed myself. I think that Im going to apologize for all of the stupid things I do.
Ross: I've lost the will to live.
Joey: Yeah, you didn't even use the tools for most of it!
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
The Dry Cleaner: Yes, it was very offensive to my people!
Rachel: Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her.
Rachel: Yeah, we found them. There were in the guest room closet behind some coats.
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
[Scene: The Roof]
Monica: The game's over! Take off your robe!
Chandler: Where the hell is everybody?
Lauren: Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.
Monica: (to Rachel) Look at you with all the guys!
Phoebe: Okay. All right, this is my favourite part of the weekend, right now, this.
(She heads for the kitchen and Chandler watches her leave and admires the view.)
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Chandler: (thinks for a second, then waves his arms, exclaiming:) AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! (and runs out of the apartment)
Phoebe: Oh, What's the matter?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch writing when Chandler enters to make his brief cameo.]
[Scene: Chandler in the theater]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Ross: Well, I don't know what else to do. I mean, I either keep my wife and lose one of my-my-my best friends or I keep my friend and get divorced the second time before I'm 30! So-so if anyone has-has a better suggestion, let's hear it! 'Cause I-I got nothing! All right, don't be shy, any suggestion will do. (There are none.) Okay then. Here we go. Magic 8 Ball, should I never see Rachel again? (He turns it over and reads the answer) Ask again later. Later is not good enough. (He shakes it up again and reads the answer.) Ask again later. What the hell! This is broken! It-it is broken!
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. (The chick clucks.) You'll get your turn!
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
Rachel: Okay, calm down, here they are. (Gives back the sunglasses.)
Rachel: (picking up the tissues) Why, why, what's wrong with these guys?
Chandler: (to Monica) So, how did you enjoy the play?
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Joey: Im sorry, youre right. What am I gonna say? (He takes another sip of the green stuff and recoils at the taste.) Oh!
Phoebe: Okay, now you're just taking lines right out of the song!
Ross: Oh. (Reaches into his pocket for some money as Rachel enters the living room and watches holding two stuffed dinosaurs.)
Rachel: Well, the cat... the cat turned out to be Paolo's cat!
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Ross: Yeah, I know the type.
Phoebe: Unless! Unless umm, okay I-I would be willing to go to the concert, umm, all the while thinking about the children of course.
[Scene: The theatre where Joey is auditioning. Phoebe enters when Joey's on stage and she sits down. He hasn't seen her.]
Rachel: Well, I would like to have the option!!
The Cooking Teacher: Monica, you go to the head of the class.
Chandler: This is like figure skating team all over again. (Phoebe and Ross glare at him astonished) I mean synchronized swimming. (they continue to glare) I mean- I mean the balance beam. (to Ross) Help me!
Monica: We don�t have much time. Once the egg descended the oviduct �
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
Monica: (entering) Okay, I talked to the guy with the shovel and I found out what happened.
Joey: (voice strained) Couldn't have this conversation down at the truck huh?
CHANDLER: Um, absolutely. Uh, how 'bout tomorrow afternoon? Do you know uh, Central Perk in the Village, say, five-ish?
Monica: What is the big deal?
Rachel: Because (laughs), because, I just heard it. I heard it, and it's ridiculous! I mean, you're married. You're-you're married and it's just ridiculous, and it's like, it's like when said it, I sort of like, I floated up out of my body, y'know? And, and-and then I heard myself say it and then the floating Rachel (laughs) was like, "You are such an idiot!"