words in movies
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. Youre telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didnt want you back?!
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when were on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and its like somebodys ripping out my heart!
Monica: Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And Im sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?
Ross: You get the dollhouse.
Monica: I get the dollhouse!
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didnt have to walk me all the way back up here.
Rachel: Honey um, honey, you do realise that we dont keep the womens lingerie here in the office?
Rachel: Summer catalogue! (hands him the catalogue)
Chandler: Thats the stuff! (quickly grabs it)
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. Its a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Monica: Not one that can pee on the roof.
Phoebe: Well, maybe its so big because the house was built on radioactive waste.
Chandler: (holding a tissue) And is this in case the house sneezes?
Phoebe: No, no, thats the ghost for the attic.
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Ross: Wait a minute, the house was built on radioactive waste, and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen.
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you dont know much about the U.S. government.
Chandler: Oh-ho, liked what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checkin out the Chan-Chan man!
Phoebe: (holding a dinosaur) Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! (the dinosaur starts attacking the house. She starts to bark like a dog.) Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof!
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-thats it, thats it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? Theyre not the right size, theyre not Victorian, and they just dont go.
Phoebe: Okay, (starts to pack up her stuff) fine. Come dinosaur, were not welcome in the house of no imagination.
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, while were hovering around the subject. I just have to say dinosaurs, they-they dont go, rrroof!
Phoebe: The little ones do.
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are getting ready to rehearse the play.]
The Director: Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)
Joey: (to himself) And I ate the food, I had the fish, it was good, yeah. It was good, yeah...
Joey: They gave me the shaft all right.
Joey: Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Phoebe: Look, look! (She lifts up the roof, and the front panel falls revealing the interior.)
Phoebe: Oh, okay, its the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. (She slides a doll down the slide)
Phoebe: The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed.
Ross: This is the coolest house ever!!
Phoebe: Hey, does anybody want to join me in the aroma room? (lights some incense)
Phoebe: Watch, watch. (She turns a strand of Christmas lights strung around the house.)
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Joanna: Oh God, we just clicked! Yknow how people just click? Like he came by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you?
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing.]
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
The Director: (returning) Okay, Im afraid to say this, but lets pick it up where we left off.
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! Ill see you in the morning. (exits)
Lauren: You know! At the place I told you about last night?
Joey: Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.
Joey: Okay. (he gives her a peck on the cheek)
Lauren: Ill see you tomorrow. (she kisses him full on the mouth.)
Joey: Maybe he could slip her the tongue.
Kate: And then right, right when the scene ends, he could take her with this raw, animal....
[cut to Joeys bedroom, Joey and Kate are emerging from under the covers.]
(He walks up behind Monica and gives her a big hug and a kiss on the neck.)
Joey: Oh, it was so amazing. After the (pause) love making...
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming cause, cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like hes been processed by the devil, or something.)
Chandler: Thats what you say at the end of a date.
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didnt tell him not to call me, did you?
Rachel: (grabbing the magazine out of his hands) Call her! Call her now!
Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, well give me the phone then.
Chandler: Nooo!! Shes really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
Monica: (from the bathroom) Im in the shower!
[He closes the door and walks over to get something from the fridge. He starts to smell something and turns around to see Phoebes dollhouse smoking. He runs over and takes off the roof to reveal that the dollhouse fire.]
[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesnt work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesnt work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate is arriving for rehearsal.]
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. Thats all it was. Joey, Im-Im sorry you feel bad, but havent you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
Monica: Oh, thats okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
Phoebe: What?! Oh my... (sees the remains of the house) Oh my God!! What happened?!
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
Monica: Well, the giraffes okay. And so is the pirate.
Phoebe: (She pauses to ready herself, and removes the tissue.) Ohh, the-the Foster puppets!
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
Chandler: Its not a big deal. Its, just its right here, (points to his eye) and its all the time.
Chandler: The food there was, was great.
(Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Monica: Why cant you use the phone in here?
(They all run over to Joey and Ross, Chandler grabs the movie and reads the title.)
Gunther: But then I'd have to go all the way around the dry cleaner place.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is showing off the entertainment center.]
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Chandler: (comforting the duck) Everythings gonna be all right. Okay, Dick?
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
Phoebe: Okay y'know what you have to choose. All right, if-if the most important thing on the planet to you is this cat poopy thing then, okay you can have Smelly Cat, but we wont be partners. So whats it gonna be?
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
(They exit and close the door.)
Ross: You're right! (Gives her the twenty she won.)
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
Phoebe: Well I don't think it's very nice of you to park here, y'know you're blocking the entrance.
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
(Monica looks at Rachel, who gives her the thumbs up.)
Rachel: (shakes her head) Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
The Salesman: You picked a great couch.
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
[Chandler puts a coin in the mini jukebox at the table. YMCA starts playing and Monica and the rest of the staff have to get on the counter and start singing along and dancing. After a couple of couruses, Chandler pulls out a handful of coins and drops them on the table.]
Rachel: (sees the chick and the duck) Oh, yeah, Im sorry. They used to live here; sometimes they migrate back over.
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
(Brenda bends down to use the dustpan and Monica leans over to look for the stain, but leans so far over she falls out of the chair.)
Monica: Please! I feel so bad! Just watch the hot woman get naked!
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
Joey: Everybody smile! (The picture is taken) Okay, thanks a lot! Enjoy your stay at Caesar's! We hope it's toga-rrific! (The family leaves.) Kill me. Kill me now.
Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Rachel: That is right and traditionally the daddy is supposed to give the mummy a present but I am prepared to let that go.
Pete: Hang on a second. (to the employees) Ill-Ill talk to you in the morning. (turns two of the three off) Im sorry what?
Hillary: Maybe Ill just turn the lights down a little.
Ross: Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)
[Scene: The Xerox place, Chandler and Joey are waiting in line.]
Rachel: No. (She heads for the door again.)
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
Joey: Not good, no. I didnt get the part, and I lost my job here, so
Rachel: Monica, betting the apartment, I dont know about this.
Chandler: (He turns to Ross and Ross makes a Be strong sound.) I wanna quit the gym.
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
(He turns to go, but the sound of the sonogram catches hes ear. He returns and stares at it.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, they are all there eating breakfast.]
[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]
Hitchhiker: Yeah, yknow the license plate game?
Phoebe: On how far along he's in the sex change process!
Chandler: You look amazing. I'm the luckiest man in the world.
[Scene: A random apartment building, Chandler and Monica are knocking on the door of the woman from the beginning.]
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
[Cut to the hallway.]
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. (Walks towards the door until )
The Saleslady: Yes, whats the name, please?
Monica: Maybe he's bothering you so much because he likes you. It's like in first grade when Skippy Langwild always pushed me on the playground because he secretly had a crush on me?
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Phoebe: Not unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist.
Monica: Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it.
Monica: I got you the foot massager.
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is sitting on the step drinking a beer as Rachel comes out of the guys apartment.]
ROSS: Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window?
Monica: Hey, I have all the space I need. Just do what I did.
Joey: Oh-ho-kay, Im talking to the king. (starts to go to a back room)
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Monica: A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.
Monica: Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor. (looks very convinced about what she just said)
(Monica leaves the room)
Ross: I know. A double blind date, and we both get stood up. What are the chances?
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Monica: All right, let me see. (She grabs the 8 ball.) Will Chandler have sex tonight? (Reads the answer.) Don't count on it. Seems like it works to me.
(In frustration, Joey kicks the table, breaking it.)
Charlie: Anyway I just, uh, I think it's for the best.
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Phoebe: Okay. Whoa, sorry. Why were you just like all in the dark?
Rachel: Wow, this is so cool, you guys. The entire city is blacked out!
Rachel: Look, yknow I know my lifes going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people whove accomplished so many other goals by the time theyre thirty.
Monica: I am going I'm going--Turn it over! (Rachel rolled onto her stomach and Monica rolls her back.) I'm I am going to get these drops in your eyes. (She is holding Rachel down with both hands and has the eyedropper in her mouth.)
Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.
CHANDLER: [Chandler gets in the back seat] Hey!
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss shoulder.)
Joey: Ooh, like the time you and I went to Atlantic City and I made you laugh so hard you threw up your whole steak?! Remember?
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
Joey: All right, here we go. (He grabs them and starts to pull them out of the apartment.)
Monica: Okay, I think thats it. The seating chart is done. This is our wedding. They all look like theyre having fun dont they?
[Cut to the roof, where Joey and Mr. Treeger are dancing happily to ^Night and Day^.]
MNCA: Oh God, you fell off the wagon.
Ross: (entering) Hey, uh, Im really, really sorry about what happened in the cafeteria today.