words in movies
(They move into kiss but are interrupted by Joey knocking on the door.)
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
(Joey turns to leave but stops at the door.)
Chandler: For the last time no! Get out! Get out, Joey!
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
Chandler: Uh, The Wheatsheaf.
Ross: Y'know, I think they have those at that British pub near the trade center.
Ross: Okay, I did not abandon Rachel! Okay? Emily showed up at the airport! I had to go after her! I mean, I-I did what I had to do! She's my wife! Rachel is my wife! Y'knowEmily! Emily, is my wife! Man, what is that?
Ross: No, not since I lost her at the airport.
Rachel: Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not to shabby for Rachel. (Goes and puts her luggage away.)
Ross: Oh, thanks. Oh, you're the best. (They hug.)
Rachel: Oh no, you're the best.
Ross: (breaking the hug) Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! (Runs to the door.) Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again.
Rachel: What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, "Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?" I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why, because I make very bad decisions.
(He gets up and gives Monica a rather passionate kiss as Rachel and Phoebe look on in amazement. After the kiss ends, Chandler suddenly realizes what he just did, so he decides to do something rather rash.)
(He goes over and gives Rachel the same treatment he gave Monica, only Rachel is shocked.)
Chandler: Pheebs! (He goes over and kisses Phoebe, who is also stunned.) Always a pleasure. (And he struts out leaving the girls to stare at each other.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
Monica: Oh, Rachel, sweetie, look, here's a really cute picture of Joey and you at the reception.
Rachel: Ohh, he's married! Ross is married. I can'tI still can't believe it. (Rachel grabs the picture from Monica)
Monica: Honey, sweetie, by the edges.
Rachel: I mean, y'know I'm just gonna have to accept it (She grabs the rest of the pictures)
Rachel: Oh my God! (She licks the top picture and hands them back.)
Monica: (Interrupting) Oh, what about that guy over there? (She points at another guy and Gunther is deflated.) Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.
Rachel: All right, you're the boss. I guess I gotta do what you tell me.
Monica: We got out pictures back from London. (Shows her one.) Here's all of us at the Tower of London.
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
(Gunther goes up to the guy and holds a sign that reads, "We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.")
Gunther: (To the guy) Get out!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters to find Monica waiting patiently for him. He closes the door and they start kissing.]
(They start kissing and turn around so that Chandler is facing the door. And Chandler sees Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey walk in and quickly ends the kiss with Monica.)
Joey: (Jumping out of his way) See ya!! (To the girls.) What the hell was that?!
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Rachel is returning from her date with Dave.]
(She enters the apartment, leaving Dave in the hallway, to find Ross sitting on the couch with a big box.)
Rachel: What's that? (Points to the box.)
Ross: It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!
Ross: Oh, it's not so bad. Monica's gonna make potpourri! I think I'm gonna go wander out in the rain for a while.
Rachel: Yeah. (She goes out to join her in the hall and starts looking for the dropped socks.)
Monica: What is the matter with you?! Do you want to fall into the trap? Do you want to fall into the trap?!
Monica: I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off! I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do?
Monica: I make the decisions, and I say no.
Rachel: Well (At a loss for words, she grabs some of Monica's laundry and throws it on the floor as a diversion to allow Rachel to run back inside and close the door. Monica chases her to find that Rachel had locked the door.)
Monica: Rachel locked the door.
[Scene: The hallway, continued from earlier. Monica is still locked out.]
[Cut to inside the apartment, Ross decides to let Monica in and goes over and opens the door in mid-pound.]
Ross: Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky. I'm gonna use the phone. I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily. (Looks at the rose mulch.) My God, think of the massacre.
(There's a loud bang on the door.)
Joey: Umm, y'know how the other day you were talking about how you didn't get to go to London and how you were kinda feeling left out?
Phoebe: Ohh, that's so nice! How great! Well, where? Where's the trip?!
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna go home and bask in the triumph of my Central Park idea. (Gets up to leave.)
Chandler: I was just trying to bring a little culture to the group.
Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, we decided the picnic idea was a little Y'know, it didn't have any It-it, well it blew. So, we thought, that this afternoon that we would all go away for the whole weekend to, Atlantic City!
Joey: Which, is the new plan!
Monica: Okay. I-I can't watch. (Leaves as sits down to read the paper.)
Ross: The paper.
Ross: Events from around the globe.
Rachel: Because (laughs), because, I just heard it. I heard it, and it's ridiculous! I mean, you're married. You're-you're married and it's just ridiculous, and it's like, it's like when said it, I sort of like, I floated up out of my body, y'know? And, and-and then I heard myself say it and then the floating Rachel (laughs) was like, "You are such an idiot!"
Ross: Well, well I am married. Even though I haven't spoken to my wife since the wedding.
Ross: Actually, it kinda is. My wife won't return my calls. I don't know where my wife is. (Laughs) "Hey Ross, where's the Mrs.?" Don't know!
Ross: Well, I kinda half to. I mean, because the thing is
Rachel: The thing is y'know, that you're married to Emily.
Ross: That is what the thing is.
Rachel: Ross, things aren't gonna be weird between us, right? I mean was that just the stupidest thing, me telling you that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is about ready to leave for Atlantic City.]
(They high-five and howl, but Phoebe suddenly stops and the guys gasp and retreat in shock.)
The Guys: Ohh!
Phoebe: All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun! (She starts out the door.)
Chandler: Pheebs! We have to take you to the hospital now!
Ross: Pheebs, Pheebs, the babies are coming now.
Rachel: High-five, the babies are coming! (They all high-five.)
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Monica hold back.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, 3:02 A.M., Chandler is up. There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.]
Chandler: Oh, yeah! Thanks for inventing the lottery!
Monica: Well, what's the part?
Joey: Oh, I-I think Im gonna stick with the V, I wanna see how this bad boy turns out.
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
CHANDLER: [to the woman who just rejected him] All right look. Penis schmenis. We're all people. [She walks away again.]
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bathroom, the scene is continued from earlier.]
Ross: C'mon, seriously, Joey, what's the part?
Ross: You're right, you're right, it is...So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Joey: Whaddya think? Today's the big day!
Joey: Thank you! (He goes into the bathroom.)
Monica: You got the job?! Why didnt you tell me?
(Chandler enters with the phone.)
Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!
PHOEBE: Ok, I talked to the vet, people are so nice upstate. Anyway, he said that the little fella's gonna be ok and I can pick him up tomorrow.
(She opens the door and he leaves.)
Monica: Okay, I'd like to know how much the room was because I'd like to pay my half.
The Woman: (after Monica gives her the candy) Thank you.
Chandler: Lose the other guys.
Joey: Look, do you want the ring or not?!
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
Joey: (answering the door.) Hey, how did you do that?! Come on in. (He brings them inside.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing living room golf as Rachel enters. Rachel sees this and holds the door open until Chandler is ready to start his swing, when he is, she slams the door shut which causes the club to fly from his hands. He turns around, shocked.]
Ross: I think the check in is that way. (Points)
Joey: Then she came back with "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?"
The Woman: Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy!
MIKE: Wha . . .?� Go back?� To the "land where time stands still"?
Ross: Carol was wearing boots just like those the night that we- we first- y'know. Fact, she, uh- she never took'em off, 'cause we-we- (off Chandler's look) Sorry. Sorry.
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Chandler: Okay, then get the lobster!
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Phoebe: Okay, fine! Fine! (Takes the oyster and pretends to eat it while dropping it on the floor) Mmm hmmmmm .
Joey: Oh, ah- the kid has it.
Rachel: Emmm. Now, instead of the vegetables, is there anyway I can substitute the three-pound lobster?
[Scene: Central Perk. Everyone's sitting on the couch and Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
[Scene: Back in the cab in front of Phoebe's dad's house.]
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Ross: The word you're looking for is 'Anyway'...
Chandler: Yeah but when he proposed to me with the ring I got goose bumps.
Chandler: Look, I-Im just gonna be right across the hall and I promise you, the minute Monica and I break up Im moving right back in with you!
(Angela takes a seat at the counter.)
Joey: Great Great and thanks for being so understanding. I mean, I didnt want to make a big deal out of this, you know. (She starts to collect all the girlie stuff up.) You could, uh, put the picture of the famous baby in my room. I mean, if you want to.
Phoebe: If we are not doing it together, we're not doing it at all! So, say goodbye to your tickets! (She holds out the bowl, and makes as to drop the tickets on the street).
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is returning from a date with Cynthia.]
(Monica is drinking from the tap)
Phoebe: Ooh. Oh. It looks like, like a tiny little person drowning in your cereal. (Ross gives her this look, like 'Yeah, doesn't it', and gets up to dump it down the drain.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, everyone minus Ross are arriving to inspect the damage. The fire department is still there.]
(Someone knocks on the door; Monica gets it)
Monica: All right. When is, when is the next flight out?
The Cooking Teacher: Well actually, did either of you pay for this class?
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
MONICA: Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay.
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
FBOB: There are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
Ross: So I finally heard back from Aunt Sheryl and apparently it wasnt a mistake. Ahh, theres-theres limited seating in the hall.
Ross: Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked up all the forms. Ill take care of everything.
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
Ross: I was barefoot. Now tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him right?
Ross: Um, see, but thats not the final draft.
Mona: Yknow, I-I-I just I dont want to get in the middle of something so complicated.
Chandler: Okay, I've already taught you so much already, but whatever. See when you flirt with a guy you think, "I'm just flirting, no big deal." But the guy is thinking, "Finally! Somebody who wants to sleep with me!"
Monica: Oh, is everything in the car?
[Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.]
Chandler: (tongue-tied) Uhl..ell. By the way, in case you missed that, that sound was, "Uhl, ell."
Mrs. Burgin: Oh, well we cut the trip short.
[Scene: The laundromat.]
Leslie: Come here, come here. (they go to the side of the stage) Okay, dont get mad, okay.
Rachel: Well, this is really awkward (staring at the floor) Oh, and I can leave!
(Cut to Chandlers room, he opens the door slowly to see if Joey is there and after seeing that he isnt, ushers Monica into the room, closes the door, and the security bar.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Ross, and Julie are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is working on the seating chart while Chandler looks on and Rachel reads.]
Joey: I uh, oh! Because, uh, I havent really paid the bill
Phoebe: Ok, good! (pause) You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this...(a pigeon swoops down, scaring Phoebe who drops the bowl on the street) Oh God, no! (pause) I think I broke your bowl.
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
Chandler: Is it me, or have the greetings gone downhill around here?
(Monica leaves, and Chandler closes the door. Erica just looks at him.)
Rachel: No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready? "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?" Come on, I can't do this!
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. (She grabs the skull, pulls out a stick of licorice, and takes a bite.)
Monica: When you were little you slept through the Grand(Pointing again)Oh fffff .
Chandler: Joey! Joey! Joey! J-J-Joey-Joey-J-Joey! (Monica hides under the covers as Joey enters. Remember?)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The phone rings; it's Chandler.]
Ross: (standing outside the door).....Hi.
(She's getting closer to him, the scene fades to black.)
Joey: A rock, a dog, the earth.
Rachel: And the ring, was the size of my fist (makes a fist)!
The Guys: (reluctantly) Yeah.
Ross: In fact, I'll bet you 50 bucks that you can't go the whole year without making fun of us. Eh, y'know what, better yet? A week.
Cecilia: Oh yeah-yeah, we should get the (Pause) So when Jessica kisses a man, she usually puts umm, both her hands on the mans face. (She does so.)
[Scene: the Pharmacist convention. Joey and Rachel are walking out of it, drinking cocktails]
All: (watching the ball drop) 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
(She starts checking her form. Chandler sees movement near the window from the corner of his eye and when he looks he spots Joey climbing up the fire escape and onto their balcony. He warns Monica silently.)