words in movies
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Joey: Yeah, hes the best.
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. (Walks towards the door until )
[Fade to Black, then fade in again with Ross stopped at the doorway.]
Ross: (closes the door) Did you umIm sorry, did you just say its Rachel?
Ross: Its not a big deal? Oh, Im sorry I just um, I what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I likeyou-you cant stop thinking about her. Like how you cant sleep?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel and Chandler are on the couch.]
Chandler: I think thats the youngest girl ever to reject me.
Chandler: Luckily, the guy she settled for cant hear what youre talking about.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's, Ross is opening the door to Monica.]
Ross: Oh my God! What if, what if they get married? Then hed be the stepfather of my child.
Monica: He says he wants to leave the country. (Pause) He thinks you hate him.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are on the couch as Phoebe enters with Monicas soul mate.]
Don: Well, we just had a terrible lunch today at Reattica. What is with all the sun-dried tomatoes at that place?
Monica: Oh my God! Thats my restaurant, Im the chef there.
(They go over to the counter and Chandler moves closer to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
[Scene: Joeys Apartment, theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Ross.]
Joey: Okay thats the green stuff talkin.
Ross: If she is where you are then uh then my feeling weird about it shouldnt stand in the way.
Ross: Yeah. Look if-if shes gonna end up with somebody else, the truth is she couldnt find a better guy. So
Joey: Im sorry, youre right. What am I gonna say? (He takes another sip of the green stuff and recoils at the taste.) Oh!
Don: so Ive been slowly phasing out the wine importing and focusing more on the cheese side of things.
Chandler: Cheese, its smelly. You must smell a lot of the time too.
Don: Uh, not really. But when it comes to cheese, Im one of the people who thinks the smellier the better.
Monica: Me too! Yeah, Chandler cant stand it. He wont even allow me to have blue cheese in the house.
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
Don: Well if you where ever enter the Loire valley let me know, Ive got a great little villa you can stay at.
[Scene: Outside Ross and Rachel's, Joey walks up to knock on the door, but stops.]
Joey: Okay. Okay, I can do this. I can tell her how I feel. Just uh, just stand up straight. (Does so.) Take a couple deep breaths. (Does so.) Look confident. (Does so as Rachel opens the door and startles him.)
Joey: Here? In the hall? What are we animals?
Chandler: Sure, why dont you set it up. Ill just be over here, browsing through the personals.
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Joey: What? Yeah! Sure! Uh, look at the uh, the reason (Exhales slowly)Is it hot in here?
Joey: Yeah. Sure. (They both half stand up, Joey pulls the neck of his sweater out, and Rachel looks down it to see his T-shirt.)
Joey: But over the past few weeks
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Joey: (entering from his room) All right! Everybody ready to go to the movies?
Joey: Oo...what's in the bag?
Chandler: Well, I think I judged her too quickly, and this time we were able to take the relationship to the next level.
Monica: Okay, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, all right heres the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, (quietly) tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere
PHOEBE: It was an accident, and, and the woman who did this would never ever hurt a dog on purpose. She's a vegetarian.
Ross: I wasnt farting! (To Mona) Uh, a little game from our table. (To the little girl) Yes?
Chandler: Oh-ho, liked what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checkin out the Chan-Chan man!
(He then straightens himself, and looks at the torte)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are moving chess pieces around on the board and hitting the timer at random.]
Joey: (upset) Will the stable boy never get the princess??
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Ross: Oh yeah its fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control.
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
[Scene: Central Perk, time lapse from the earlier scene.]
Rachel: Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but were gonna have to get into Mr. Zelners office. Now, he doesnt get in until 10, so hes no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is entering, Monica is on roller skates.]
Joey: Oh, wait-wait! (Reaches into the shower again.) Maybe its a pickle?!
The Singing Man: (singing, duh) Mornings here! Sunshine is here! The sky is clear, the mornings here! The mornings here!
Joey: Oh, good to know. (The interviewer leaves.) So close!
Phoebe: Ow! My ass. Okay. Okay. (She manages to climb completely inside and the window slams shut.) Oh, shhh!
(She lets her hair down and whips her hair around in Baywatch-esque slow motion with a Barry White song in the background. Chandler needless to say cant help but stare along with the rest of the male and lesbian population of North America.)
Monica: Why?! To celebrate your relationship! To solidify your commitment! To declare your love for one another to the world!
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Joey: Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said (aping Amy badly) "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don’t need that kind of talk in my house!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment.� Chandler is seated in the chair and Monica stands behind the sofa.]
Rachel: Yeah! Oh, and then afterwards you can take her to the Four Seasons for drinks. Or you go downtown and listen to some jazz. Or dancingOh! Take her dancing!
Rachel: Yeah, there was. It wasthere the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever readYes, there was.
Emily: No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit.
Carol: This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that he is being raised by two women, does it?
Joey: Dude! (he opens his arms to receive the ball from Ross' hands)
Ross: Im the ring bearer.
Ross: I am the guy who�s taking care of our baby while you�re out at bars meeting guys!
Chandler: Ok, you know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage, well I earned mineby plucking the eyebrows of my father and his �business� partners.
Charity guy: Yeah... And I'm giving it back to you... Come on! Consider it a contribution. (gives the check to Phoebe)
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is now reading the V book, with the salesman watching.]
[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
MR. BOYLE: All right, kids. Here's the deal. According to my client's will, he wants to leave all his earthly possessions to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine".
(Joey stares around dumbly looking for the "talking pigeon")
Phoebe: Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.
Rachel: What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?
Ross: (grabbing the necklace) The necklace I got you was gold, this one is silver.
Phoebe: (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard!
[Scene: Ross's Building, Joey is trying to find the hot girl's apartment. So he's walking up the hallway counting doors. He comes to what he thinks is the right one and knocks on it. Ross opens the door, it's his apartment.]
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
[Scene: A mailbox, Ross is mailing the invitations. He throws a bunch into the mailbox, but pauses with Rachel's. And it starts another round of clips.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Chandler: (browsing through a diary) Well, let me see... I-I believe I'm... yes, falling asleep in front of the TV.
Ross: Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. Its not just about the pictures.
Ross: Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. (Holds it up for her.)
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
(Joey gets the evil look on his face.)
Rachel: Well, can't you just go to Vermont the next day?
Richard: Its so great seeing you guys again. Id like to make a toast. (Everyone raises their glasses) Uh, as a poet once said, "In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures for in the due of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."
MIKE: (Entering the apartment) I, I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about.
[Cut to the waiting room, a thrice triumphant Frank returns again.]
Ross: (running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)
[Scene: Estelle Leonard Talent Agency. Estelle (ESTL) is speaking on the phone.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting behind the drums wearing safety goggles, hitting them with his sticks as Rachel watches.]
(Joey enters looking like Captain Stubing from the Love Boat.)
Chandler: Hey. (He nods at the hat.)
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Phoebe is trying to hide the bed from Monica.]
Ross: The doctor says its completely normal with all the hormones. Plus, you-youre sleep deprived.
Ross: So I told Carl, Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. But of course this went in one ear and out.....
[Monica goes to fiddle with something on the table.]
Joey: No, I sat in the paint.
Joshua: Thanks. (He starts to leave) Maybe Ill see in the spring, with the uh, yknow, for the uh, bathing suits.
Joey: (reading the card) Whoa! This guy is like the biggest commercial casting director in town! (Ross gasps) Ben takes one lousy walk in the park and gets an audition!! (Ross and Carol stare at him, then Joey realizes what he just said.) I mean, way to go Ben! (Gives Ben the thumbs up, which Ben returns.) Man! I've been in that park a million times and no one offered me an audition.
Phoebe: Oh right, ok um. Ok so its not just the lie you tell. but its the way you tell it. . For example if you look down at the ground when you're talking, people know you're lying.
Ross: Oh really, really great! Yeah! A-actually shes right down the street, umm, do-do you know what? You should stop bye and say hi.
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
[a voice in the background calls for makeup]
Phoebe: (through the door, with a Scottish accent) Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassy.
Rachel: Arghh!! (She quickly hangs up the phone and starts to pace around wondering what to do.)
[Scene: A fancy restraunt (Marcel's). Joey, Ross, Chandler, Susie, and the Director's Assistant are there.]
Liam: Ross, come on! Get in the bloody scrum! Ross, get in!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are entering. As Phoebe is sitting down, she recognizes someone sitting at the counter.]
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
The A.D: Theres no way he smells, hes the only one around here with a shower in his dressing room.
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
Monica: What is the matter with you?!! Why arent you more upset?! Arent you gonna be sad that were not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean arent you gonna miss me at all?!
Monica: There's something that we wanna tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Erica.
Phoebe: All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun! (She starts out the door.)
Joey: I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I cant take care of myself. Okay? Look, Im not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that Im gonna miss is you. And now the dog.
Monica: Me neither! We have to get in! (She runs through the door with Chandler in tow.)
Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!
Mike: Oh! Sorry, I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name!
Monica: It is so weird, I know what I said, but uh, this morning, I was lying in bed I was, I was imagining what it would be like to say yes. (Rachel slams the magazine shut in amazement.) I know its a little sudden, and its a little rushed, and its totally not like me to do something like this, but that doesnt mean I cant. Right? I mean Im-Im crazy about Pete, and I know that we want the same things, and when I thought about saying yes, it made me really happy.
Ross: (Back to Emma) Hi! (Looks at her) What... (Moves the stroller away from him so he can get a better look at her. He looks at her confused. Finally he realizes the difference and gasps). Please tell me those are clip-ons.
Monica: (noticing the bag Joeys carrying) Oh great! Did you get a movie?
MONICA: Honey, uh, this is a picture of the frame guy posing in front of a bright blue screen with a collie.
Joey: Okay. (He grabs a jelly donut, takes a bite, and guess what he spills all over himself. He tries to clean it up and smears it all over the shirt.)
(someone knocks on the door) Oh, great. More party boys for Chandler!
Monica: Phoebe, your liver is right here. (She points to the right side of her torso.)
Chandler: Oh, just hanging out, talkin about uh, websites. (Joey laughs.) Yeah, we saw this really interesting website about marriage and how totally unnecessary it is and how its just a way for the government to keep tabs on you.
Chandler: Freedom! I want my freedom! Why wont you here me?! (Opens the door) Sophie, help me! Help me!! (Sophie stands up)