words in movies
SUSAN: The other us.
ROSS: Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.
JOEY: It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..
MONICA: They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it?
MONICA: They love each other, and they wanna celebrate that love with the people that are close with them.
CHANDLER: [singing to the tune of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood] Who's the bitterest man in the living room, the bitterest man in the living room? Hi, neighbor.
JOEY: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever.
JOEY: Yeah, and she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.
JOEY: I'm afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a..subcranial hematoma. Perhaps we can discuss this over coffee.
JOEY: All right, all right. "Damnit Braverman, it's right there on the chart!"
PHOEBE: Um, no, huh-uh. One of my clients died on the massage table today.
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
CHANDLER: Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks.
ROSS: Oh, I believe I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim.
CHANDLER: Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?
RACHEL: I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, that my life is total crap, you know?
PHOEBE: [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
MRS GREEN: Sweetie! So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun.
MRS GREEN: So, what do you think of my daughter in the apron with the big job?
MRS GREEN: If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink.
MRS GREEN: This is just so exciting. You know, I never worked. I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you.
PHOEBE: I know who it is you remind me of. Evelyn Dermer. 'Course, that's before she got the lousy face lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales.
MRS GREEN: Oh my god, there's an unattractive nude man playing the cello.
RACHEL: I know. And Mom, I realize you and Daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry and get the big house in the suburbs with all the security and everything, but this is just so much better for me, you know?
MR A: Well, I don't know what to tell you dear. The only thing I can think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything.
MRS GREEN: Oh, look, here's Barry. Did he have to come straight from the office?
RACHEL: Actually, what I think you said was, "don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen."
PHOEBE: [enters] Hey. What a day. I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty.
PHOEBE: Yeah. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. I'll be right back, she has to go to the bathroom again. [Takes Mrs. Green's chin in her hand and says, in Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh, such a pretty face.
MRS GREEN: This is so much fun, just the girls. You know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana?
MRS GREEN: The only man I've ever been with is your father.
JOEY: I'm sorry, it's the pigs. they're reluctant to get in the blankets!
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
CHANDLER: Hey! How come I'm stuck dicing, when he gets to ball the melon.
[knock at the door]
ROSS: What's the matter?
CAROL: Nothing. Ok, everything. I think we're calling off the wedding.
ROSS: Carol, what's the matter? What happened?
CAROL: And then Susan and I got in this big fight because I said maybe we should call off the wedding, and she said we weren't doing it for them, we were doing it for us, and if I couldn't see that, then maybe we should call off the wedding. I don't know what to do.
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
MONICA: You heard the woman. Peel, chop, devil! I can't believe I lost 2 minutes.
[at the wedding]
JOEY: It just seems so futile, you know ? All these women, and nothing. I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly.
CHANDLER: Well now you understand how I feel every single day, ok? The world is my lesbian wedding.
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
[At the reception, Monica and Ross watch Carol and Susan getting their picture taken.]
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
CHANDLER: [to an attractive woman] I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line, right? [The woman walks away]
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
CHANDLER: [to the woman who just rejected him] All right look. Penis schmenis. We're all people. [She walks away again.]
MONICA: Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?
JOEY: I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married? [They all look at Chandler]
Chandler: Ok, here we go! (he pushes the play button)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is sitting on the sofa, reading the newspaper.]
Monica: This is where I thought the barca lounger could go! You see you could see the TV and its still walking distance to the kitchen.
Joey: And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandlers pants.
Phoebe: Watch, watch. (She turns a strand of Christmas lights strung around the house.)
Rachel: Look at that woman sitting by the pool getting tan... so leathery and wrinkled, I'm so jealous!
Monica: IT'S THE HUMIDITY!
Monica: Yeah, you were, but you decided to make salmon because you had some left over at the restaurant. And then you realised if you (Points at Rachel) bitched about it, then you (Points to herself) would stop cooking, and you (Points at Rachel) would have to make your famous baked potato and Diet Coke.
Monica: The truth is, Dad, were-were trying.
Ross: Okay! (Walks away from him.) Umm, I uh, Im your teacher. Im sorry, youre-youre a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs.
Joey: (Touches the back of his head and licks his fingers) Oh man! I thought I got it all!
Monica: (to the waitress) When you get a sec, another round of daiquiris.
Joey: Get the ball, ready? Get the ball, get the ball! (Joey pretends to throw it, but really doesnt, and the dog goes running off.) Well, youre cute, but youre not too smart!
Joey: Whoa-whoa dad? There's a dad in the commercial?
Phoebe: But on the southern route there's a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe.
(cut to the street in front of Central Perk where Ross is walking Chappy. He has a plastic bag in his hand.)
Ross: That was the only way I could get him to stop typing!
Phoebe: So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.
Joey: (impressed) Wow! You look... (drops the cookie)... stop-eating hot! Which is like the highest level of hotness!
Joey: No, Yeeees. God, how do I say this. (walks into the kitchen, Chandler follows closely, he turns around and gets startled). Oh, hi, you know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair (holds his hands up to signify she has big hair)?
Chandler: Oh, he works in the Fine Foods division.
MONICA: Nooo! Never! I mean, we're living in the moment. God, it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on 'Where is this going?'
PHOEBE: Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan, he's skating tonight at the Garden, he's in the Capades.
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren Offices, Rachel gets in . Kim is there.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey's on the couch when Ross walks to him, with his jacket closed.]
Ross: Good, 'cause the ladies, not so much. (shakes his head, give him a thumbs up and leaves)
Monica: You gotta go home and get the earrings that you borrowed from me okay? Chandler wants me to wear them tonight.
Chandler: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Charlie: (sitting down on the bed) I think we need to talk...!
Monica: You see that guy? Hes in classics now, but y'know as soon as we leave hes going straight to the porn.
The Professor: Do you have a moment to talk about your lecture?
Rachel: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight.
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Helena: (standing at a table and asking the guy sitting there) Where are you from?
Nurse: Just so you know, Dr. Long cant be here today, she was called to the hospital, so Dr. Schiff will be seeing you.
Ross: Yeah, see Mon, listen, listen. When Carol and I broke up, I went through the same thing. And you know what I did?
Monica: Anyway, I picked up this outfit that I want to wear and the, and the boots dont really go with it.
Ross: I cant believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in. Man, some-some strangers gonna be living in my room.
Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident?
Rachel: so basically you've slept with all the woman in New York and now you're just going around again.
Chandler: Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!
Chandler: Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth.
JOEY: Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin'
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is sulking on the couch as Joey enters to talk with him.]
Chandler: I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. (Pause) Although I-I hope they dont.
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Ross: The way he makes me feel about myself.
Ross: Oh sure. (He sits on the apothecary table and touches her hand.)
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
Monica: Well, y'know I-I-I think I'm gonna respect the privacy of my new secret boyfriend.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. (They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain; Monica pushes his hand back.) (To Ross) Hold on! (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Phoebe: Yep, we shook on it. Yeah but believe me that is not how he wanted to seal the deal.
Rachel: Wow! This is shaping up to be a pretty good dateOh, I almost forgot. I didnt pay you the rent check.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Hyper-competitive Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are still playing catch. Monica is finally tiring while the rest of them are totally exhausted and virtually asleep.]
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler peeks in the door. He doesn't see Eddie so he enters, breathing a sigh of relief. Eddie pops up from behind the bar.]
David: So, ehm... I'm proposing to Pheobe tonight. (Removes a ring box from his pocket and opens it to show Chandler the ring)
Ross: (He puts his hand over the hole on the box.) (to Chandler) Now, well see.
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
Chandler: Okay, so how bummed were you when the second sister died huh?
[Scene: Back in New York, Monica and Chandler in Central Perk on the couch]
Chandler: So those were pity laughs? PITY LAUGHS? (Joey and Ross walk away from the kitchen)
ROSS: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.
Rachel: I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... (gives him her drink) I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry.
Rachel: Well, let me just check that with what I got here, all right see 038 is not the number for (Ross starts making a lot of noise with a handheld pepper grinder) this store, 038 is Atlanta. And I...(stops and looks at Ross)
Ross: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. (He plays the greeting, and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it.) We will, we will, call you back!
Rachel: I overheard you guys on the phone the other day, and you said, "I'll just tell Rachel that I'm doing laundry for a couple of hours." And he said, "Laundry? Is that my new nickname?" And you said, "No! You know what your nickname is, Mr. Big."
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Ross: No. I am not putting on makeup. (Knock at the door. Phoebe enters.)
Phoebe: Uh Joey, were trying to dial down the crazy.
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Chandler: Oh, uh.. I want her to think I might be in a restaurant.. y'know? I might have some kind of life, like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the past few hours.
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!! (Jumps over the back off the couch and runs out into the street.)
Katie: Yeah, I just gotta run to the bathroom.
Bill: Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen.
CHANDLER: Huh. [reaches over and grabs the hat and bolts for the door but slips and falls behind the couch]
Joey: Yes, and they should name one of their kids Joey. I may not have kids; someone's gotta carry on the family name.
Chandler: Were doomed. Okay, theyre gonna take 50 bucks out of our accounts for the rest of our lives. What are we gonna do?
Chandler: Everybody at my school heard it! You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island?!
[This starts a series of flashbacks; the first one is from Episode 106: The One With The Butt, Joey is in a play called Freud!.]
(The single light flickers and goes out. Leaving the room in total darkness.)
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Joey: Ah! Okay, well then you dont judge me. Im gonna suck on the cellophane from the brownie I had before. (They both do as they planned.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Chandler are returning from the game.]
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
BIG BULLY: [walks back from the counter] Hey you're in our seats.
(An unamused woman walks into the office.)
Phoebe: Just one last time erm... the marriage thing... there's no wiggle room? None at all?
Monica: Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way.
Both: The dark of night has disappeared!!
Phoebe: We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
Monica: If you have the big apartment you have to deal with people coming over all the time. That fridge has got to be stocked, okay, thats your department now. (She takes back the turkey leg)
Phoebe: (reading the nametag on the uniform) Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue!
Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie!