words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)
Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay.
[Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.]
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Ross: Uh Dad, Emmas in the nursery. Ill take you now. If you want, but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you.
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, everyone but Rachel is standing and looking into the window.]
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
Phoebe: Oh please! Just before when you were asleep in the lounge! That Armenian family was watching you instead of the TV. Oh, that reminds me. That Mr. Hasmeje still has my Gameboy.
Joey: Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand
Chandler: As we all are at some point during the day.
Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?
Chandler: Honey, weve been over this. I need to be facing the other way.
[Back in front of the nursery window.]
Phoebe: Are you kidding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Phoebe: Oh, its a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We havent done the secret thing in a long time.
Phoebe: And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is wearing.)
Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telling people?
[Scene: The Janitors Closet, Chandler and Monica are trying to figure out what to do now.]
Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our pockets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)
Monica: The truth is, Dad, were-were trying.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Chandler: Thats funny, this conversations how I got the bullet hole in my head.
Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was
Monica: Daddy! I dont think we need to hear about the specific positions you and mom had sex.
Mr. Geller: Youre right, youre right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it might feel good.
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
Chandler: Seriously sir, my brains? All over the wall.
Monica: Honey, the question is do you really want to marry Joey?
Joey: No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she took her breast out.
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
Ross: Listen, I um I heard about the engagement.
Ross: Wait! Whoa-whoa, you you gave her the ring?
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Rachel: Well then Joey, what the hell were you doing with an engagement ring?!
(Theres a knock on the door and the Nurse enters carrying Emma.)
Joey: (looking at the ceiling) Ah, its beautiful.
Ross: Thank you. (The nurse exits.)
Ross: Well good, okay. I-I, kind of think yknow if we if Youre wearing the ring.
[Scene: Outside the Janitors Closet, there are people having sex and Mr. Geller is trying to give them some pamphlets.]
Mr. Geller: Kids, I spoke to a doctor and picked up this pamphlets on how to get pregnant. (He slides them under the door.)
Cecilia: I-I-Im leaving the show?
[Scene: The conference room in Tulsa again, Chandler is trying to evade Wendy]
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
Ross: So uh, Emily just went to the airport.
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Phoebe: I dont know. Ooh! Ooh! Look it! (She fans out the trick deck.) Ah-ha!
Gary: (on the verge of tears) Yeah.
Chandler: Yeah that was great. That was really great! But to tell you the truth, I'm more excited about where we are right now.
The Croupier: 8!:
Ross: No! The reason Im asking is that I sorta had one last night.
Ross: The routine!
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
(When they finish, they walk over to the director)
Joey: Sure, yeah. Will you just keep an eye on the chick and the duck?
Joey: What the heck is that?
[cut to the guys team.]
Rachel: Okay then! (She starts rummaging through the trash to find Kim's lighter.)
Phoebe: Yeah, because you know what, it's... it's all about the children.
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
Ross: Okay, I'm the baby. (Points at his eye.)
Chandler: Okay, Pheebs, we decided the picnic idea was a little Y'know, it didn't have any It-it, well it blew. So, we thought, that this afternoon that we would all go away for the whole weekend to, Atlantic City!
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Rachel: (laughs) Youre not the man who left the cell phone.
Ross: God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab.
Ross: Chandler was hitting on the hot delivery girl!
Joey: Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.
Joey: But only in the moment. So do ya wanna kiss again?
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Chandler, Ross, and Rachel are sitting around the table.]
JOEY: The guy still won't put out, huh?
[Rachel and Chandler re-emerge from the balcony.]
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Rachel: So would I. You wouldnt think that Annie Liebawitz would forget to put film in the camera.
Joey: No way. I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
[Scene: The casino floor, Chandler and Monica are walking through it.]
Ross: I talked to Monica, look, I'm the one who made the choice. I'm the one who's making things change, so I should be the one to y'know, step back.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
Chandler: Okay, Im a rookie. I should not be in the end zone.
(The camera zooms in on Sarah and she has a big smile on her face.)
This is a special out takes episode. The cast and Conan are sitting around the set of Central Perk, talking about the stuff weve never seen.
Ross: Okay, now hold on. Joey, why, why can't you just wear the underwear you're wearing now?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
RACHEL: Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra?
Rachel: Oh, well, I guess I had that one coming. Im just gonna throw it out, its probably just a bunch of shampoo and... (she opens the box and stops)
Caitlin: Hey, where's the chicken?
Chandler: I fear a jury will see it the same way!
Monica: Why cant you use the phone in here?
(They all run over to Joey and Ross, Chandler grabs the movie and reads the title.)
Gunther: But then I'd have to go all the way around the dry cleaner place.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is showing off the entertainment center.]
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Phoebe: I know! I guess I am! Oh my god! Load up the Volvo I want to be a soccer mom!
(Chandler enters, and Joey is standing near the chair, they have a show down to see who gets the chair and Joey wins)
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Chandler: (comforting the duck) Everythings gonna be all right. Okay, Dick?
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
Phoebe: Okay y'know what you have to choose. All right, if-if the most important thing on the planet to you is this cat poopy thing then, okay you can have Smelly Cat, but we wont be partners. So whats it gonna be?
Ross: Okay. He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here like nothing happened...
(They exit and close the door.)
Ross: You're right! (Gives her the twenty she won.)
Kim: (to Nancy) So we talked about the (Chandler sneaks closer to her cigarette) whole presentation yesterday at lunch (Closer) and he wondered if one person would be enough (Closer) to get a take on the trip (Still closer) and I said, "Yeah, absolutely!" (She's interrupted by Chandler who has reached his goal and takes a drag from her cancer stick.)
Phoebe: Well I don't think it's very nice of you to park here, y'know you're blocking the entrance.
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you have what you want, youre back with Rachel. If you bring this up now youre gonna wreck the best thing that even happened to you.
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
(Monica looks at Rachel, who gives her the thumbs up.)
Rachel: (shakes her head) Alright, alright look, just uh... just try to remember how you felt when you were in love, and think about that when you're playing the scene.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
The Salesman: You picked a great couch.
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
[Chandler puts a coin in the mini jukebox at the table. YMCA starts playing and Monica and the rest of the staff have to get on the counter and start singing along and dancing. After a couple of couruses, Chandler pulls out a handful of coins and drops them on the table.]
Rachel: (sees the chick and the duck) Oh, yeah, Im sorry. They used to live here; sometimes they migrate back over.
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
(Brenda bends down to use the dustpan and Monica leans over to look for the stain, but leans so far over she falls out of the chair.)
Monica: Please! I feel so bad! Just watch the hot woman get naked!
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
Joey: Everybody smile! (The picture is taken) Okay, thanks a lot! Enjoy your stay at Caesar's! We hope it's toga-rrific! (The family leaves.) Kill me. Kill me now.
Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross is talking to Chandler. Joey is making a snack at the bar.]
Rachel: That is right and traditionally the daddy is supposed to give the mummy a present but I am prepared to let that go.
Pete: Hang on a second. (to the employees) Ill-Ill talk to you in the morning. (turns two of the three off) Im sorry what?
Hillary: Maybe Ill just turn the lights down a little.
Ross: Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)
[Scene: The Xerox place, Chandler and Joey are waiting in line.]
Rachel: No. (She heads for the door again.)
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Joey: Yeah, its (looks up and sees the woman) mine.
Joey: Not good, no. I didnt get the part, and I lost my job here, so
Rachel: Monica, betting the apartment, I dont know about this.
Chandler: (He turns to Ross and Ross makes a Be strong sound.) I wanna quit the gym.
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)