words in movies
Written by: Scott Silveri Transcribed by: Eric Aasen Directed by: David Schwimmer (Yeah, that David Schwimmer.)
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Joey: Right! And when is that due?
Joey: And thats every month?
Chandler: Thats our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung this whole me moving out on thing, so why dont I justwhy dont I just cover you for a while?
Chandler: I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, yknow? But I have to trick him into taking it so I wont hurt his pride.
Chandler: Well that would help the pride thing.
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Monica: Rachel, you are packed though right, I mean please tell me that youre packed.
[Cut to Rachels bedroom, Phoebe and her are entering. And its obvious that shes not packed.]
Phoebe: Well, what youre wearing is fine for that.
Phoebe: Thats right.
Chandler: Oh, I wish Id know you were going to do that, I ordered Chinese.
Joey: Oh thats okay. Hey, actually in a way its kinda nice. Me, bringing the food of my ancestors, you, the food of yours!
Rachel: Im sorry Pheebs, I guess Im just really said that Im leaving.
Rachel: Uh well, I guess Im not gonna miss the fact that youre never allowed to move the phone pen. (Laughs. Monica lags behind the laugh a little bit.)
Phoebe: Good thats a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Yknow? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Chandler: See? Now, thats why only the little fake men are supposed to do all the kicking.
Chandler: Well thats a full cup! (Pays him again.)
Monica: Listen Rachel, I feel really bad aboutWhat are you doing? (She sees that Rachel is unpacking.)
Rachel: Im not moving! (She re-hangs a picture, crookedly.) Is that picture straight?
Phoebe: Okay, you guys. You guys I think I know whats going on here. Okay, you guys STOP!! (They stop.) I know that, I know that youre acting mad because you think that itll make it easier to leave. But deep down youre still really sad. Deep-deep down.
Chandler: It doesnt matter because nothing beats a three and a six. That my friend is D-Cup. Okay, now much have you won so far?
Chandler: Hey, I didnt make up the rules. Now, after you receive the doubling bonus, you get uh, one card. Now that one card could be worth $100 bringing your total to 1,500. (Joey gets excited.) Dont get to excited because thats not gonna happen unless you getNo way! (He takes the top card, which is the two of clubs. Of course, any card wouldve won. Chandler pays him.)
Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
Phoebe: Youre just so mean to each other! And I dont want to end up like that with Rachel. I still like you!
Rachel: Well, Phoebe thats fine because Im not moving.
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Yknow I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but yknow Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate.
Monica: Do you wanna live outside?! Because its gettin cold! (To Phoebe) She gets tons of catalogs and umm, shell fold down the pages of the things she thinks that Id like.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I-I do, do that.
Phoebe: Thats nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
Phoebe: Oh thats right. Youre still set on that?
Ross: (answering the phone) Hello? (Listens) Hey Mon, hows the packing going? (Listens) Ben? Hes fine. Yeah, hes rightOh my God! (He looks over at the fake Ben and notices that the head has fallen off.) Get your head of your shirt there son! (He tries to push the pumpkin through the neck hole.) What? (Listens) Yeah, its a pumpkin. Ill come pack.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, (Ohh, thats the last time Im ever gonna type that line. Its just so sad.) Joey is entering, angrily.]
Chandler: Im just trying to help you out! Okay? I wanna make sure that youre okay.
Joey: I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I cant take care of myself. Okay? Look, Im not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that Im gonna miss is you. And now the dog.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
Monica: What the hell is that dog doing here?! (She notices the dog sitting in the living room.)
(And with that, an era ends as Chandler moves in with Monica as Rachel moves in with Phoebe. It tis a sad and happy time for Friends.)
Ross: And now you want that money back.
Chandler: You're not supposed to take that. Besides, it's a New Testament, what are you gonna do with it?
Phoebe: Not even if you just pretend that it's milk?
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesnt hurt? Cause how can they do that?
Chandler: Thats Thats was
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
Monica: She said that?!
CHANDLER: Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
ROSS: Thank you Gunther. We didn't want to have to go and do that.
ROSS: No, no, I mean, ya know, I, I read a book and there was a girl named Emily and I thought, I thought that might be good.
Ross: Yeah? I can use that, trick hip, no cup, okay! Okay!
Ross: Yeah! Yeah, Emily always wanted to get married in this beautiful place that her parents got married, but its going to be torn down, so I mean, I-I know its crazy, but everything up til now has been so crazy, and I dont know, this just feels right. Yknow?
Mr. Geller: Ohh, I thought that you....
Chandler: Alright, Janice, that's it! Janice... Janice... Hey, Janice, when I invited you to this party I didn't necessarily think that it meant that we-
Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
Chandler: See, thats why I could never be an actor. Because I cant say gig.
Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves)
Emily: Thats just halftime, theres more of this.
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: No-no. Nothing wrong about that.
Monica: That really means a lot. Oh, and Mom, dont bite your nails.
Chandler: Thats a low one!
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
Chandler: Oh my God! If you say that one more time, Im gonna break up with you!
Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?
RACHEL: Ya know, in crazy world, that means you're married.
Monica: (Interrupting) Oh, what about that guy over there? (She points at another guy and Gunther is deflated.) Remember? That is the guy you flirted with at the counter that time.
Emily: What was all that about?
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
Phoebe: Oh thats so great! Ohh, so whats going on now?
RICHARD: Guys. Seriously, it is not like that.
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Chandler: Thats a good idea, Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday. I would like to get her something serious.
Chandler: Yeah, thats like the most ugliest dress Ive ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
Joey: Well, that went well. Yeah.
Monica: Umm, when I said that uh, that Chandler and I wanted to umm, live together we meant alone together.
Rachel: Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was really wonderful! Did you just make that up?
Joey: Does that mean we have to bust it open?
Monica: Thats true.
Earl: No! Thats just the "Hey Guy" guy. He says that to everybody! Hes the worst! Id like to take him with me!
Rachel: Well, look at that, same thing.
Monica: Y'know what, dont tell us. Well just wait until Chandler gets home, (to Phoebe) because itll be more fun that way.
Monica: No time for that!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no-no-no, I'm still waiting to hear from that job and the store closes at nine, so you can eat then.
It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see One of them wont do it, but the second one will set you free Tell all your hate and anger, its time to say good-bye And that is just what I will do, soon as those bastards I work for die! La, la-la-la, la-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over
Phoebe: Um-hmm, thats good to know. But lets stop focusing on what you dont do, and start focusing on what you do do.
Pete: ...so y'know, thats why, within a few years, that voice recognition is gonna be pretty much standard on any computer you buy. Y'know, so you could be like-like, Wash my car. Clean my room. Its not gonna be able to do any of those things, but itll understand what youre saying.
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Monica: (laughs) Thats okay.
Monica: That counts!
Ross: Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl that you and Jack were looking for.
Phoebe: Yay! Its so exciting! Wow, you couldve done that with us there.
Cecilia: So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. (Joey is nodding.) You try.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Ross: I get it! Well, thats that.
Phoebe: You keep the old ones in the back, that is so ageist.
Chandler: Wow! That ripped! That ripped real nice!
Joey: That was good beer.
Monica: Chandler, thats like your fourth cup of coffee!
Monica: Your a poet and don't know it. (she turns away and makes a face like 'I can't believe I just said that.')
Rachel: Honey, thats youre name.
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Monica: I knew you were not okay with that.
Mrs. Geller: Jack, thats what they call the subway.
Phoebe: Well, Im ready to get the hell out of here! (Sees Ross and Rachel cuddling on the couch.) Oh. Are you? Are you?!! (they nod Yes.) Ohh! Thats so great!! Ooh, not for Bonnie. (they nod No.) But for you, yay! Ohh.
Rachel: What's that? (Points to the box.)
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Rachel: No well, no it's not that bad, y'know? I mean yeah, my tongue feels a little fuzzy and these fingers sort of smell, I actually feel like I can throw up.
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
Rachel: Why? Why not?! People love to hear that!
Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
Monica: Oh my god! Did you hear that? She said Monica! (She goes back to Clunkers again) Oooh, I can't leave her!
Phoebe: Because it was fate that made me call you today!
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didnt happen!
Ross: So Im thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week.
Ross: That is what the thing is.
Rachel: The thing is y'know, that you're married to Emily.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. Thats such a hard time for me.
Monica: Oh thats a great idea. Youre really good on the phone.
Chandler: You can say that because she's not your mom.
Joey: Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table.
Ross: Yeah, and-and it's not that we don't like the comedian, it's that-that... that's not why we bought the ticket.
Rachel: Ross, that was a Halloween costume, unless you would like me to go to this thing as Little Bo Peep.
Chandler: Dude, don't do that too me!
Ross: Again, it's not that he
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
Chandler: Why not, just because his great-grandmother was obese, our kids are gonna get that from you anyway!
Gym Employee: You do realize that you wont have access to our new full service Swedish spa.
Chandler: (to Ross) Maybe you do that next time you get married!
Chandler: Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?
Monica: Wait, what that place, that pub he took us too?
Cassie: I guess the last time we really hung out was when our parents rented that beach house together.
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.