words in movies
Chandler: Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend.
Monica: That place in Vermont? You can take a hint!
Rachel: No, that day... that won't be her real birthday!
Monica: Believe me, that is not why we won't be doing that!
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Phoebe: Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people!
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
Joey: Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that.
Rachel: (crying) Wow! That was amazing!
Ross: Thank you so much for that gift!
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Rachel: Is that it?
Jack: Right now that seems so far away, seventeen years.
Jack: That’s true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma!
Ross (stops recording): Ok, cut! Great. That was... that was just... yeah!
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
Ross: Hey Mon, that was really nice of you to loan Rachel your car so she could go and get the cake.
Chandler: Was that Emma? Is she up?
Ross: No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone?
Phoebe: Oh no! He's not getting away that easy! (Phoebe and Joey run towards the bathroom and enter)
Joey: Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it.
Monica: Yeah, and we've paid for a room, that we're supposed to be in right now!
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Phoebe: (Visibly excited) Yeah!! Let's do that!
Chandler: (Also very excited) That sounds more fun than the thing we were going to do in Vermont!
Monica: Wha... How the hell is that gonna help?
Chandler: I bought you. How did I forget that that's all you do?
Monica: No! No, no... wait! We didn't lose. (turns to Chandler) The rules clearly stated that the last one to cross the finish line was the loser. Well, our dog never crossed the finish line, so technically...
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Chandler: Did I teach her that? Did I just... impart wisdom?
Rachel: I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys!
Rachel: Oh! Emma, that's right! You're that many!
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Monica: Look, I know that I shouldve told them. I know I shouldnt care what they think. Im sorry.
Rachel: What? This-this, no, oh no, no-no-no, this is notthats-thats not what it is. See, see, okay, I work in fashion, see and-and, this is a real dress actually. Its-its, theyre-theyre wearing it in Milan, so part of my job is too wear the clothes, and then I see how people respond, and then I report back to my superiors at Bloomingdales, so And obviously in uh, in-in this case, (She grabs a pen and paper) I am going to report back, "USA not ready."
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
EDDIE: Ah-ah-ah, you know what that is?
Joey: Oh wow thats a great idea! And I still have his credit card.
Frank: That was Alice's mom, she said she left five hours ago. She should be here by now!
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.
Caitlin: Y'know what? That's okay, you guys have ordered so many that this one is on me! (Runs for her life.)
Chandler: Oh, you're definately not. I haven't cried like that in years.
Chandler: I know. See, yes. Thats Yasmine Bleeth, shes a completely different kind of chick. I love you both. But in very different ways.
David: Well, after eight years of research I discovered that it can't be done.
Dr. Zane: We do five because that gives you a 25% chance that at least one will attach.
Joanna: Thats fine, actually Im on the hiring committee, so therell be at least one friendly face.
Phoebe: I KNOW THAT!!! You have to stop her!! Shes going to ruin the wedding!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is coming out of the bathroom carrying her cleaning gear.]
Joey: (not quite sure of how to answer that) Well uh, look Ross I uh, I think Carols great and Im sure youre a very attractive man, but I .
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
BIG BULLY: Don't do that to yourself. Any one of us could have tripped over that little girls jump-rope.
Joey: And I couldn't find this little plastic thing (holds up plastic thing) that goes on top of the blender...and I thought...well... how important can that be, right...? Turns out very!
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
Ross: Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too.
Joey: (interrupting him) Uh Ross! Are there uh, are there naked chicks on that piece of paper?
Chandler: Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered.
Ross: It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!
Monica: In that cute, little, sweet way she just did?
Krista: We'd better take these pants off upstairs or that stain's gonna set.
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Rachel: Oh God, that's right. I blocked that out.
Joey: (realizes what he said) Street noise drowned any of that out? (Rachel moves madly towards him) No, all right, I see you later, okay... (Turns away embarrassed)
Monica: What about all the guys that you've got the phone numbers from? Why don't you just kiss one of them?
Rachel: I'm hoping that if she hears it enough it will be her first word.
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.
Ross: Okay. Okay. Yknow what? If you want to, we can do it one more time. I mean Id-Id be okay with that. In fact, I have some time right now.
Ross: (looking) Nono, that would be me again.
Phoebe: I'm sorry... I'm sorry. It's obviously way too early for us to be... having that conversation.
Monica: Yeah hey, a weird thing happened today whey I was at brunch. This woman overheard that I was marrying you and-and then she she wished me good luck.
Joey: Yeah, that was a disappointment...(pause) Oh, hey!D'you want to come down to the set and tell me if I'm doing ok?
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
Phoebe: God, they thought they can mess with us! They're trying to mess with us?! They don't know that we know they know we know! (Joey just shakes his head.) Joey, you can't say anything!
Sandy/Grumpus: And what's the one kind of boat that can never, ever sink?
Chandler: I doubt that! Tell her about us last year.
Chandler: Yeah! I've never been in a relationship that's lasted this long before. Y'know to get past the beginning and still be around each other all the time, I think that's pretty incredible. And the fact that this is happening all with you, yeah I think that's pretty exciting. (Kisses her.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! May I just say that you two gentlemen have the exact same hands! They're identical! Now, I've never seen anything like that in the business world.
Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
PHOE: He said that, um, he understands how sex can be like, a very emotional thing for a woman and he was just afraid that I was gonna get all, y'know, like, 'ohh, is he gonna call me the next day' and, y'know, 'where is this going' and, ya know, blah-la-la-la-la. So he said he wanted to hold off until he was prepared to be really serious.
Rachel: Yeah, you know what we should all do? We should play that game where everyone says one thing that they're thankful for.
Chandler: Wait a minute, all jokes aside? I didnt agree to that!
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
Phoebe: No, that wouldn’t kill her. Ordinary embolism might.
Chandler: Yknow, I knew something like this was going to happen. (He starts to take off his pants, revealing that he is still wearing his sweat pants.)
Joey: Rach look, I really dont think thats such a great
(Monica smiles then acts shocked. Chandler cant believe she just did that.)
Monica: Come on, that was back in high school! How could that still bother you?
Rachel: Honey, its so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I cant do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life.
Monica: Phoebe! Put that cigarette out!
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
Monica: Aww, sweetie, but its not like youre not gonna have anything. Youre gonna have nieces and nephews, and some ways thats even better.
Phoebe: Regular Celery! (Starts to write that on her list) Oh, I already have that. (She gets up and heads for her room)
Rachel: You need that, you need that too cause obviously, a thief could just tear this up. (Rips up the note.)
ROSS: Mom, there are so many people in my life. Some of them are seeing people and some of them aren't. Is that crystal?
Dr. Oberman: Umm, I'm actually a first year resident, but I get that a lot, you see, I-I graduated early
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Joey: Yeah, three days on the lake without a shower. Plus! I fell in that big tub of worms at the bait stand! Hey, how-hows he doing?
Phoebe: Im sorry, for the last time, why arent you two together again? (Silence from Ross.) No, I know. I know, because youre not in that place. Which would be fine, except you totally are.
Rachel: Well, I wouldn't know because I got so freaked out that I hung up the phone.
Joey: Your thumb? Thats weird. (Makes a fist.) You sure youre punching right? Make a fist. (Ross just looks at him with his thumb in a cast.) Maybe later. Ross I feel terrible.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica have gathered to hear Ross perform his interpretation of Celebration by Cool and the Gang on the bag pipe. Yes, I typed that earlier. Were seeing this again, only this time Ross as already started playing.]
Ross: Oh, thats not true! Ive got her lots of stuff she never took back.
Ross: Alright, we�ll just, uh, see when you get here. Bye. (hangs up) Huh, that was my mom, she�s stuck in terrible traffic.
Phoebe: Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.
Chandler: Tomorrow night is good. Tomorrow night is good, but uh, yknow what? Why put off something till tomorrow that you can do right now? (Laughs) Eldad come here! (He stands up from the next table.)
JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
Monica: Hi! I'm Monica and I'm gonna be singing "Delta Dawn""Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? ..."
Rachel: Pheebs, I dont think anyone's mad about that.
Joey: Yeah. Sorry about that. (He walks away and knocks on the next door which is answered by a little girl.) Oh, hey little girl. Uhh, is-is your mommy, or sister, or babysitter by any chance a hot girl?
Chandler: Oh, that's The Wedding March. Does, does that freak you out?
Rachel: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together!
Monica: Aww, the only reason you want to go out with me because my blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
(Ross is so startled that he throws his arms up to defend himself. The box takes off, then lands with a squishy thud, its contents oozing out onto the floor. Ross is not pleased.)
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
Rachel: Its all gonna be okay. Theyre just so happy that Im not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear.
Phoebe: That and arrogance.
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay look, Chandler, if this (Motions back and forth indicating the arrangement.) you have got to listen! (Tugs on his ear.) (Chandler glares at him.) Youre gonna throw that juice at me, arent ya?
Monica: Be that as it may, d'you think you could just help us out here on that monkey thing? Y'know, just for old times' sake? Go Bobcats?
Monica: You dont? (Laughs) Well, thats the difference between a professional and a layman.
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits down at the bar]
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Guest #2: (sees the cake) Oh my God! Someone cut Howard's cake! (Ross tries dumping it into a nearby plant.) Who would do a think like that?
Joey: (Thinking carefully) no. No, I, I couldn't do that.
Monica: Oh my God! Thats great! Oh wow! (Hugs him.) Youre a published writer! I wish I had a present for you!