words in movies
Ross: Ok, I gotta say. I mean, it means so much to me that you guys are coming all the way over there to hear me do my speech! UH! And I've a surprise, uh... I had to pull some strings but I was able to get everyone passes to the entire conference! That's right! (he gives them their passes) This babies will get you into all the paleontology lectures and seminars.
Rachel: Do you have anything that would... get us out of them?
Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally.
Joey: That... never happens...
David: (to Chandler) Well, Phoebe's still pretty hung up on that Mike, uh?
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Joey: You really should have been more clear about that!
(Ross goes to the window and opens the curtains revealing that it's raining outside)
Monica: Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David.
Monica: Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee.
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Chandler: That would be advice!!
Phoebe: Sure! Look, ok, bottom line: I love Mike... David! David. I love David. Don't look at me that way, Roseanne Rosannadanna!
Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.
Ross: I don't think that your monologue from Star Wars is gonna help me right now, Joe!
Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that?
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Chandler: And there's not chance that will work?
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!
Joey: Hey, it hasn't come to that yet.
Joey: In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it)
Charlie: And then, and then you said that thing about, about bringing the Mesozoic era in the 21st century.
Charlie: Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner.
Charlie: I didn't do that.
Rachel: I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home.
Rachel: Well, let's see. There was a really big guy that I was talking to, with the really nice breasts...
Joey: Come on who? Who do you like? Tell me. You're not getting away that easy. Who do you like, who?
Joey: (eagerly) Yeah, who is that?
Charlie: (to Joey) I just left you a message! Ross and I were gonna go grab a bite, but now that you're here, maybe we can go have that dinner.
Chandler: You know, it's very hard to take you seriously when you look like that.
David: But well, now that we're together again, I don't ever want to be apart. So, to that end...
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.
Chandler: I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy.
Phoebe: I love you. But I never needed a proposal from you. I just needed to know that we were headed somewhere, you know, that we had a future.
Phoebe: Yeah, I might have said yes, but that would have been wrong.
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
Rachel: Look at that woman sitting by the pool getting tan... so leathery and wrinkled, I'm so jealous!
Ross: But all kidding aside, in much the same way that Homo ergaster [1] is now thought to be a separate species from Homo erectus...
Ross: (puzzled) Ok!... All right, thanks! Thank you so much, you guys! (to Phoebe) Oh, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were here!
Phoebe: Well, on the bright side, now you won't have to see all these paleontologists with their shirts off. (Grabs a drink and notices that the two men are upset) Not you guys. You got it going on!
Monica: I'm not always that bad!
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Charlie: ... is it weird that it's not with each other?
Rachel: I don't know, I'm not trying to do anything, it's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know... I mean, aren't you just a... little curious... (insinuating) what that would be like?...
Rachel: But that wasn't gonna stop you before!
Monica: Ooh! I'm sorry! I think, I THINK, that may have missed the table!
Chandler: I think this is the first time in our marriage that I've felt like the more attractive one.
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
Monica: (threatening) Don't get too cocky! Remember I won the last one! Oh, by the way, how did that feel, losing to a girl?
Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that.
Ross: Ooh, well. Ah, I kinda have got a lot on my plate right now, not that I wouldn't love a weekend in the country with a strange man. (Mr. Oberblau giggles)
Ross: I knew that was him!
Charlie: I guess. There was hum... (she breathes deeply) there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else.
Chandler: Monica, that was also true an hour ago! I mean, please, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, your hair is inexplicable! Ok, you've already proven you are just as good as he is, now we've missed our dinner reservations, so now let's just go upstairs, order room service, take a shower and shave your head!
Phoebe: You can't do that!
Phoebe: Ok, we're taking that paddle home, mister.
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
(They realize that they are hugging closely and he draws back)
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
Joey: I love that saying!
Phoebe: (shocked) Thats a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat.
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do.
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Hillary: And after that, what could I do except become a chef.
The Lurker: I don't want to see you lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair!
Rachel: Thats right!
Gary: So uh Chandler, you like that badge I got you?
Chandler: Did you hear that?
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you!
Ross: You've never said that in your life, have you?
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Rachel: Thats a good story, Grandpa.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun!
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that Im yknow insecure about my manhood or anything yknow, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
Monica: Thats a good idea.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what we can do? Yknow, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, yknow like we did when we were first going out. Itd be fun!
Chandler: Y'know that whole swimming thing is a myth.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Jill: Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that?
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
David: You're kidding me. Because I'm not seeing anybody, I've just totally made that up.
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
Joey: Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, its just not my character thats not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight?
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Joey: She made me switch to light Mayo. Thats it! Thats all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!
Monica: Do you remember that jacket that you love so much, that you thought was too expensive?
Chandler: Im not arguing with that.
Chandler: Believe me, Ive been saying that for years. Oh my God!
Ticket Agent: I cant do that.
Joey: Im not answering that.
Chandler: Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. Im not answering that.
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Rachel: I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, Im so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. Youre gonna have to tell me how you did that.
Monica: I could do that.
Chandler: Whoa-ho, whoa! No, I was thinking about y'know for me, as a part of that whole getting over Janice thing you were talking about.
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Phoebe: I would love that job!
Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?!
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Katie: Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, (Punches Joey) are too much! (Punches Rachel.)
RACHEL: Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra?
Monica: All right, that's a little sketch of the cake, umm some sample menus, umm y'know what I thought we would start out with Tuscan style finger food, and for music, here's an alphabetized list of all my CDs! I've highlighted the ones that would go really good with the food.
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Roy: Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch.
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Joey: Thatll be $3.85.
Phoebe: Oh my God, look! Thats Elizabeth!
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
The Producer: Im sorry, why dont we do that right now? Hes right here. (Points to a guy.)
Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
JOEY: Na, na I'm ok. Oh and uh, just so you know, I'm not movin' back in 'cause I have to. Well, I mean, I do have to. It's just that that place wasn't really, I mean, this is...
Joey: See? Eh, wasnt that fun?
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Monica: Oh my God! We love that show! I mean Ross and I have been watching it since I can remember!
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Gary: That would be great!
Ross: Ohh, I-I see lotion, I have lotion! Will that work?
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Chandler: That was like 5 years ago.
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, but yknow, I think the reason were not getting that spin right is because my apartments too small.
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange.
Monica: (Gasps) What?!! You cannot tell him that!!
CAROL: Look I just thought that...
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Phoebe: If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.
Rachel: I mean thats unbelievable.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip...
Phoebe: That true, I am flaky.
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
Janine: Well, if thats what you want. Ill just put it all in my room.
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).
Monica: (entering, to Joey and Rachel) Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work?
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)
Jill: Oh my gosh, that was so lame. Like a pajmena could be a rug!
Rachel: Yeah, I got that.
Passenger #1: Okay, that doesn't sound good.