words in movies
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Phoebe: I started that!
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Rachel: (interrupting her) Oh Phoebe, thats a great story. Can you tell it to me when youre getting me some iced tea? (Phoebe gets up and Rachel groans.) (To the baby) Oh God, get out! Get out!! Get out!! Get out!!
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Rachel: (overhearing that) What-what about me?
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Joey: Thanks. That means a lot to me.
Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? Ill bet you that shell have it by this time tomorrow.
Joey: Do you mind crouching down a little bit, so that I look taller? (Chandler does so) There you go. (And they walk down the red carpet.)
Rachel: Oh, I have to go pee. Apparently this baby thinks that my bladder is a squeeze toy. (Goes to the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Its interesting that you lost. Now, I forget, do you like to lose?
Monica: Now stop it! Double or nothing that she has it by tomorrow!
Ross: Really? You dont think thats a little inappropriate. (Shes wearing a tank top and has her belly sticking out.)
Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Dont call me mommy! Its bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.)
Joey: (To Chandler) Okay, this is it. Its my big fight scene coming up. (He looks over and Chandler and notices that hes asleep.)
Rachel: (silently) Okay. (Pause) Seriously, breathe louder Ross! Thats great!
Ross: Yknow we should probably ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby thats half human and half pure evil!
Dr. Long: Actually, theyre things you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience Ive found that some of them are quite effective.
Dr. Long: taking a long walk, and then theres the one thats proved most effective: sex.
Joey: Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did-did you like that part?
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Rachel: Well, there is one thing that we havent tried, but someone thinks that, (mimicking Ross) "That will open up a can of worms."
Phoebe: Oh I-I dont know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic.
Monica: Okay fine! I keep betting Phoebe that youre gonna have the baby and I dont want to lose again!
Rachel: Ill take that bet.
Ross: Can I get some of that action?
Joey: Okay, so thats another five hundred. Five hundred and five hundred, thats (Pauses to figure it out.)
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Chandler: Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
Rachel: I am feeling nothing. Speaking of hot, watching you do that really makes me want to have sex with you.
Ross: This is insane, Im not gonna make love to you just so that youll go into labor.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Ross: Im getting that baby out of you!
Monica: Thats it. Im done. I dont care when the baby comes, no more betting.
Monica: How did you know that?! (Runs to yell at Joeys apartment.) Joey! Chandler!! Its time!
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
PHOEBE: Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.
Ross: Yeah, pants, what, what an idea. Or better yet, um, how 'bout you go without any pants. Look, I don't know what you're trying to do to me, but just get your butt in there and pick out any shoes that fit your feet, okay. No, no I don't care if they match. I don't care if they make your ankles or your knees or your earlobes look fat. Okay.
Joey: (manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)
Ross: Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.
Monica: I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information.
Monica: Thats Will from high school!
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Chandler: Are you just tired now or are you always tired, 'cause that could be a sign of clinical depression.
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
Rachel: Umm that kiss before we left the apartment. That was some-something huh?
Rachel: Yeah, I have to tell Ross that I love him. Now honey, you take care, you dont have those babies until I get back. (Kisses her stomach.)
Earl: Its just that I uh, have been working for ten years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows I exist!
Phoebe: Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters.
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
Phoebe: Well, hey, what if Kenny were the real brains behind the whole company? You know. What if Kenny hired that Ralph Lauren guy to be the pretty front man? Huh, did she ever think of that?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a snack) Mmm! What's that curry taste?
Vince: No-no its okay. Its just that ah, I thought we had something pretty special here. And y'know I-I felt like you were someone I could finally open up to, and (starts choking up) That theres so much in me I have to share with you yet.
Richard: Well, apparently Im willing to offer her things that you are not.
[Scene: A grocery store that Janice shops in. Chandler is on purpose, accidentally bumping into her.]
Rachel: Ross, I am telling you that she is using you to get back at me!
Ross: Unagi is a state of total awareness. Okay? Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you!
Monica: Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith.
Chandler: Yeah, well, sorry doesnt bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.
I made a man with eyes of coal And a smile so bewitchin', How was I supposed to know That my mom was dead in the kitchen? (shakes bell) La lalala la la la la lalala la la...
Krista: Here, I'll get it. (She grabs a napkin and tries to wipe it up. The thing that gets the rest of the gang going is that she's whipping awfully close to his crotch. In fact, she is whipping his crotch. Chandler's about to come out of his chair.)
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Phoebe: Yes there are! There are totally good deeds that are selfless.
Monica: What the hell is that dog doing here?! (She notices the dog sitting in the living room.)
Chandler: Did I teach her that? Did I just... impart wisdom?
Phoebe Sr: Oh, thats okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
Monica: You know, Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was there for you. I put a roof over your head, and if that means nothing to you... (Rachel isn't buying it, desperate) twenty dollars an hour.
Ross: Ooh, we'll say that we were mugged! You can't get mad at someone who's been mugged!
Chandler: If I took this promotion, it'd be like admitting that this is what I actually do.
Rachel: Well forget it, Im not telling that girl anything. That is not my responsibility.
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Joey: Pheebs! Wait up! (She stops.) Listen uh, close your eyes. (She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.) Maybe thats one thing you can cross off your list.
Chandler: (after they've left) Okay, did you see that?! With the inappropriate and the pinching!!
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
Joey: Yknow what? I think thats enough for today. Thanks for your help! (He grabs their scripts and heads for his room.)
Rachel: Yes! That I know, this is from White Plains.
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Phoebe: Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and... you know I think... you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover.
Rachel: Wh-whats that?
Monica: So that marriage stuff that you were saying yesterday, you dont really believe that do you?
Rachel: Yeah, there was. It wasthere the corner of the library where-where all these dusty books that nobody ever readYes, there was.
Chandler: (embarrassed) I cannot believe Ross told you that! (pause) And in my defense, it was a Wendy's!
Joey: Im gonna go down there and teach that guy a lesson.
Monica: Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman, who just happens to be your ex-best friend?
Chandler: Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth.
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
Ross: (skeptical) That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking!
Monica: Wait. Rachel, no, hes married. Married! If you dont realize that, I cant help you.
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Mike: Yeah, I'm serious. (sarcastic) It's fun, it's different and no-one else has a name like that!
Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey: No, I wasnt gonna ask you that, no.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Chandler: Very, very funny, but don't say things like that in front of Monica. I don't want you putting any ideas in her head.
Ross: (pauses) I'm pretty sure that it is...
(Ross is so moved by his father's charming story, that he stops eating.)
Joey: Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, (In a sexy voice) for you.
Rachel: (breaking up) Were just really very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
Joey: Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow right and the photographer said she thinks Ishould have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?
Phoebe: (muffled through the floor) Yeah, look I was with my friend downstairs and we hear everything up here that you do, and I am sick and tired... (I tired but the rest is unintelligible).
Joey: I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I cant take care of myself. Okay? Look, Im not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that Im gonna miss is you. And now the dog.
Chandler: Allright, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.
Rachel: Okay fine! Ill-Ill just tell her its an antique apothecary table, she doesnt have to know where it came from. Oh! Look at this little drawers! Oh look-look it says that it holds 300 CDs.
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Ross: Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didnt actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. (Apollo 8 was the first one that orbited the moon and the one that read the Christmas Story from the orbit of the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968. They also took the famous Earthrise picture of the Earth rising over the moon.)
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
Phoebe: And that horrible museum tour!
Joey: (shocked) From the land down under? I didn't know that either!
Fireman No. 3: It's all right. It's all right. You don't have to explain. This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire that we've seen get out of control.
Monica: Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way.
Phoebe: Personal shopping? What is that? Like where you walk around with snooty rich people and tell them what to buy?
Phoebe: Thats right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know Ive had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And Im sure youve had them for us.
Ross: Yeah. I'm sorry too. I'm even more sorry that that phone call didn't come before I told you about looking through the window.
[Scene: The hallway, Rachel is convincing Ross that Emily is good for him.]
Joey: (holding up the Queen of Clubs) Is that your card? (He winks and smiles.)
Rachel: (awestruck, then not) Isnt that a line from the show?!
Joey: (reading) "When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and " And then I cant think of a good word for right here. (He points to the stop on the paper where he left off.)
Rachel: Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so...
Phoebe: No, yeah, we never find them! She's always best at us, that wily... minx.
Joey: NO! Not like that, no no. No, like this. (He starts lightly grazing Chandler's thigh)
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. That is not true. Ross, is this your fantasy?
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Rachel: Okay. All right, that's true! But y'know I just don't embarrass that easily.
Rachel: When she sees that youre gone, shes gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and Im gonna get fired!
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.
Monica: That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand.
All: Did not, she did not wink at you...(sees that their sacred couch is occupied by strangers).
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Chandler: Does that room have a closet I can lock him in? (pause) We'll take it.
JOEY: Naa, they said that when they found my body, my brain was so smashed in that the only doctor that could have saved me was me. Supposed to be some kind of irony or somethin.
Joey/Drake: I know what I felt that night when we kissed under the bridge.
Chandler: Hey. I just, I just wanted to come over to-to say that Im sorry. Yknow? I know I acted like the biggest idiot in the world, and I can completely understand why you were so upset.