words in movies
Phoebe: (angrily) Thats like the tenth time Ive peed since Ive been here!
Monica: Thats also like the tenth time you told us.
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Monica: I thought that was a good thing.
Joey: Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I dont want to do! Later! (Finally, he makes his exit.)
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Ross: Yeah, see, I dont think its gonna that difficult considering this one wont be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut.
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
Rachel: Oh, that is so sweet!
Rachel: Huh. Except, Phoebes not gonna be the one that gets to dress them.
Monica: Oh, shes gonna love that!
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
Chandler: (banging a spoon against his beer bottle) Okay, a little announcement, a little announcement. Ive decided that my best man is, my best friend Gunther!
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
Chandler: (banging on the bottle again) Okay, okay, a little announcement, I just want everyone to know that the position of my best man is still open! And uh, (to the stripper) so is the position of the bride.
The Stripper: You are really good at that. So uh, I had fun tonight, you throw one hell of a party.
The Stripper: Yeah, that would be great. So I guess umm, good night.
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Monica: Wow, you seem to be doing so much better. Thats great. So how-how are things going?
Rachel: It just might be too hard, given the history and all that
Rachel: Well, h-how is this like that?
Phoebe: Well, lets see, its not. Really, like that. Because, you see that was an actual problem, and uh, yours is just like yknow a bunch of yknow high school crap that nobody really gives yknow
Rachel: (starting to cry) Im-Im sorry, I just thought that
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Joey: So uh, hey, that uh, that wedding ring, huh? Man, thats nice!
Ross: That ring? When my grandmother first came to this country, that ring and the clothes on her back were all she had with her.
Joey: Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said theyre gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.
Ross: Okay, well, well call the company that sent her!
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That theres nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but weve got a ring to find!!
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Phoebe: No. Its all right; its probably false labour. They said that, that can happen near the end, just somebody get the book.
The Stripper: Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I dont need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that?
Rachel: Well, isnt that a good thing? You said you were sick of this.
Monica: Some moms do that.
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Monica: Aww, sweetie, but its not like youre not gonna have anything. Youre gonna have nieces and nephews, and some ways thats even better.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Ross: No, thats all right.
Joey: (starting to cry) I gotta go check something over here. (He walks away so that they cant see him cry.)
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
Ross: Really? That would be great. I mean, I have to do something, she kinda teased me about how I dress.
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
Chandler: What?! Why did you do that?
GUNTHER: That sucks. I was buried in an avalanche.
Monica: I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesnt that give me the right to control himhelp him?
Chandler: Well that would help the pride thing.
Rachel: Honey, why dont you sit down? Dina has something that she wants to tell you.
Chandler: That was pretty intense huh?
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Phoebe: You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping orOh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp!
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Ross: (disappointed) Thats cool.
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
Chandler: Thats totally understandable.
Monica: Not one that can pee on the roof.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee as Joey comes from God knows where! Some back area of Central Perk around the corner that weve never seen! Weeeiiirrrddd .]
Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
MONICA: Hey, we could have used that kind of thinkin' earlier.
Chandler: Oh well, that makes it not terrible.
Rachel: Thats right!
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Ross: No! The reason Im asking is that I sorta had one last night.
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
Chandler: Is there any chance you didnt see that?
Monica: Was it really that good?
Chandler: I think thats gum.
Mike: oh it's just you have that look (shuts the front door)
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Monica: (excited) I can do that!
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
CHANDLER: Ok, but can you tell him that, because he thinks he's too pink.
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
Rachel: So would I. You wouldnt think that Annie Liebawitz would forget to put film in the camera.
Chandler: Thats great!
Joey: Yeah, the ah, trees that dont fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper.
Rachel: Aw honey stop! Its not that bad.
Joey: Hey! I made that for her!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Janine: Oh that would be great!
Kim: Thats not true?
Monica: (cooking something) Phoebe, you were supposed to take that back!
Ross: You weren't there! Okay, maybe this is something that I-I'm supposed to seize! Y'know?
Ross: Monica, whatever you do, do not drop that ball!
Ross: Why did you do that?
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
Joey: I love that saying!
Phoebe: (shocked) Thats a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat.
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do.
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Hillary: And after that, what could I do except become a chef.
The Lurker: I don't want to see you lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair!
Rachel: Thats right!
Gary: So uh Chandler, you like that badge I got you?
Chandler: Did you hear that?
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you!
Ross: You've never said that in your life, have you?
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Rachel: Thats a good story, Grandpa.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun!
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that Im yknow insecure about my manhood or anything yknow, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
Monica: Thats a good idea.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what we can do? Yknow, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, yknow like we did when we were first going out. Itd be fun!
Chandler: Y'know that whole swimming thing is a myth.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Jill: Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that?
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
David: You're kidding me. Because I'm not seeing anybody, I've just totally made that up.
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
Joey: Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, its just not my character thats not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight?
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Joey: She made me switch to light Mayo. Thats it! Thats all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!
Monica: Do you remember that jacket that you love so much, that you thought was too expensive?
Chandler: Im not arguing with that.