words in movies
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, I saw an ad for this video, people climb that thing everyday! We could totally do that!
Phoebe: Really?! I looked into that. Yeah, but, I mean it costs like $60,000 and yknow you can die. And, you would die!
Joey: We could get that Everest video though.
Chandler: Yeah, we could do that without yknow risking our lives at all!
Joey: And while were down at the video store, you know what else we could rent? Die Hard! (Chandlers excited.) Oh, yknow what? I just remembered, that Everest thing is only available through mail order.
Emily: Oh, no-no, yknow I absolutely adore Rachel its just that, well it might be a awkward for you. But its absolutely your decision. (Gets up.) More tea?
[And with that we start off on a series of clips from the entire history of Ross and Rachel, from Rosss point of view. The first clip is from The Pilot.]
[Scene: The Laundromat, Rachel is fighting with that old, annoying woman for a cart.]
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Rachel: Alright, fine, you go ahead and you do that, alright Ross.
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
Ross: No, hey, I get that, okay, I get that big time. And Im happy for ya, but Im tired of having a relationship with your answering machine! Okay, I dont know what to do anymore.
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
Joey: Dont answer that.
[Scene: The hallway, Rachel is convincing Ross that Emily is good for him.]
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Phoebe: Im so jealous youre all going! I cant believe I never knew that you cant fly in your third trimester!
Chandler: I didnt know that.
Monica: I never knew that either.
Joey: I knew that! (They all look at him) I sooo didnt know that, but you should see your faces.
Chandler: See, maybe thats the one we shouldve actually hidden.
Rachel: Oh, no! No you guys! Come on, you dont have to do that! Im happy for him! I am! I reallyIm-Im happIll work on it.
[And with that, we go into another set of clips, this time from Rachels point of view.]
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick- you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Ross: Oh, that is so sweet.(listens) No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three.(He doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet.) Well you didn't hang up either.
[Scene, A Restaurant, Rachel is on her date, drunk, and is leaving that answering machine message.]
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Monica: (to Ross) I can't believe you did that.
Chandler: All right, check it out. Check this out. It says here that theres a place you can go to rent videos of all the museums! (Reading from the book.) "Its almost as good as being there."
Chandler: If we do that, we gotta get Die Hard.
Chandler: What about that circled one?
Gunther: Youre paying for that.
Joey: Okay, what do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia, Tris Holy cow, thats a big word. Trisc Seriously look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that?
Joey: Wow! You realize that we've been throwing this ball, without dropping it, for like an hour?
Phoebe: Okay, so now they know that you know and they don't know that Rachel knows?
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! (Flexes in victory while everyone stares at him.) Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
Ross: What difference does that make?!
Chandler: That was an obvious joke, and I didnt think of it. Why didnt I think of it? The source of all my powers. Oh dear God, what have I done!
Rachel: Oh my God! Yes, I would love that, oh, that is soo sweet, Joey.
Monica: That is not true!
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
Ross: Thats, thats, thats a big candy bar. (Shes holding one of those huge Toblerone bars.) I had the most amazing time with you.
Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
Rachel: Yeah, well, word of advice: Bring back the comedian. Otherwise next time you're gonna find yourself sitting at home, listening to that album alone.
Rachel: You mean the one that youre wearing? (Adjusts Monicas pink bra strap as Monica looks down her shirt.)
Rachel: Oh my gosh! Oh wow! Oh, I know what this is! (Shes holding an item with a large suction cup connected to a yellow plastic box, with a long narrow tube and bottle connected the yellow part.) Wait a minute. That cant be right. Is that a beer bong for a baby?
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Chandler: Im not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)
Monica: No, I just I think that its too soon.
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Ross: Yeah. And did you, did you pack that bathing suit?
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Emily: I realize that people are going to be disappointed. But, Im sure theyll come back when we can do it right.
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Joey: Thats it?! Even if nobody helps me I can eat that no problem. At least give me a challenge!
Angela: That's because I'm wearing a dress that accents my boobs.
Chandler: Okay! You dont think I thought of that?
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Chandler: Oh yeah, but don't worry. I don't think anybody's gonna focus on that as long as your wearing that towel dress.
Chandler: Well, look its been a really emotional time yknow, and youve had a lot to drink. And youve just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight!
Dr. Li: Well, I believe that the answers lie in the osteological evidence. I plan to begin there.
Joey: Yeah, just a crush! Thats all this is! Its a crush! Im Joey; I dont get deep feelings.
Monica: That kid really kicked me hard on the plane.
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Who? (She looks out the window at Rosss apartment) Is that your sister?
Monica: (entering from bedroom) Okay, Ill be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe Im sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.
Rachel: Oh we were, but that was just a (pause as the audience reacts), I mean that was just a big drunken mistake.
Monica: You're not just saying that are you?
CHANDLER: How do you know that? How?
Joey: Yeah, Chandler finds me so intimdating that its better if were on the same team.
Ross: (To Chandler) Dude, that reverse lay-up! Oh
Kathy: Oh my God, is it really that bad?
Rachel: Well IThats never gonna happen with Ross.
CHANDLER: So, you uh, you think that Speed Racer guy gets a lot of tickets er?
Phoebe: Oh no not that guy there. That guy right there. (Pointing to an attractive man sitting at a table behind them.)
Chandler: Okay, cause thats not gonna get annoying.
Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!
PHOEBE: Uh huh. Why is that?
Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.
Rachel: Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.
CHANDLER: I'll take that.
Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
RACHEL: It's really not that big!
Rachel: That wouldnt help me.
Joey: Well, maybe thats because youre closer to you. So you look bigger to you from where you are.
Joey: Well thats it. Im done. Whew! (Wipes his forehead.) There come the meat sweats. (Chandler hands him a towel and he wipes his face.)
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Rachel: Ohh! Thats great!
MONICA: That is wild.
Rachel: No, we didnt get married! Thats ridiculous!
Monica: Oh, Aunt Liddys coming? That means we get five dollars each!
Amy: You know what? When I moved in here I thought: This is gonna be so great. Just us sisters, back together again like when we were kids, except without that stupid Jill... Oh! Who has gotten fat by the way...
Rachel: No, no, it's just that it's getting late...
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
Ross: (picks up a cookie) Okay, okay, see... that... that is the problem. He is too sensitive. (takes a bite from the cookie)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Rachel: You want me to just quit my job so that you can feel like youve got a girlfriend?
Rachel: Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died.
Monica: Ooh! I'm sorry! I think, I THINK, that may have missed the table!
CAROL and SUSAN: Great. That would be fine.
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
Rachel: Oh please, theyve been going out a week. They havent even slept together yet, I mean, thats not serious.
Rachel: Umm, I said I thought you were a good kisser, and uh, and that I like your tiney-tiny touchie.
MONICA: Never call me from that phone.
Monica: (pointing to a picture on the table) I-Is... Is that a picture?
Rachel: Well isnt it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy and that I can get a lot of use out of?
Sarah: So thats two boxes of the Holiday Macaroons. On behalf of the Brown Birds of America, I salute you. (Does the Brown Bird salute, she blows on a bird call, then holds her hand, palm facing out, next to her face, and then waves it like a bird flapping its wings.)
Phoebe and Rachel: No, we never do that
Phoebe: Oh, I can still do that.
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
Chandler: (looking) Oh, this is not that bad.
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Ross: Wait a minute, the house was built on radioactive waste, and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen.
Donny: You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go!
CHANDLER: We can talk about that.
Chandler: Yeah. Yknow I keep thinking that something stupid is gonna come up and Ill go all Chandler. But nothing has.
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Monica: Am I doing here? Why? Surprised to see me? Ross brought me. How do you like that?!
Monica: I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good!
CHANDLER: Why did you look at me when you said that?
Ross: Youre just saying that 'cause I said no to your name!
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
ROSS: Excellent, that was excellent.
JOEY: Oh, yeah. He's got that great baby smell. Get a whiff of his head.
RACHEL: Who gave you that hickey?
Chandler: Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you?
Chandler: (to Ross) I couldn't say that I was naked because she's allowed too see me naked.
Rachel: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.