words in movies
Phoebe: Dont be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Yknow? Mines gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
Rachel: What was that?!
Monica: Yknow, I really have to tell Rachel, but I We just have to get it over with! Yknow, the next time we see them were just gonna tell them. Okay? Thats it.
Chandler: Oh, so thats this is gonna work now? Youre just gonna order me around all the time?
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey man, you feeling any better? (Chandler answers him with some guttural sounds that only he can make and that no human can transcribe.)
Joey: Yeah, I gotta go! I got an acting job. (Turns towards the door, pauses, and turns back.) Like youd believe that. This sucks!
Phoebe: Ooh! Thats good! Wow! But now if you were pregnant, what would you name it? Hint: Phoebe.
Ross: Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend shaking up. Oh, thats great. Thats great. (Kisses and hugs her.)
Monica: Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesnt seem so bad? (Exits.)
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
Phoebe: Ross, its not that big a deal! So youll been divorced three times, youll still have a life, youll go on dates
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Phoebe: Yknow thats really fair. Yknow? Most guys who have been divorced three times are like 60. Ross, nobody cares about this except you! This-this embarrassment thing is all in your head! Here, Ill show you! Come here.
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Chandler: Okay, so thats it, everybody knows! Its official, were moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya?
Chandler: Wow that was my scariest voice! Youre very brave.
Rachel: Oh my God! Thats so great! Im so happy for you guys!
Rachel: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together!
Monica: Yeah, hes gonna work on that.
{Transcibers note: Ill finish that one for those of you who dont know what theyre talking about. Where the towels are Hers and Hers and His, Threes Company too! Yeah, thats the theme song for Threes Company.}
Ross: once you know the stories, its not that bad. First marriage, wifes hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage, well they really shouldnt allow you to get married when youre that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevadas fault.
Karin: Actually, Im dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were like yknow bad for me, so until I work that out
Meg: Well, I dont care about the divorces either, but I wouldnt date him. Its just that hes obviously still in love with this Rachel girl.
Ross: We were drunk! I wouldve married uh, Joey with that amount of alcohol!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are still debating about how to tell Rachel that Chandlers moving in and shes moving out.]
Monica: Soon! I-I just couldnt before. You saw how upset Joey got! I couldnt do that to her, shes my best friend!
Monica: Umm, when I said that uh, that Chandler and I wanted to umm, live together we meant alone together.
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God! Oh, thats funny, I cant believe I did that.
Chandler: Not once did we do that.
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Chandler: Okay, I gotta ask, who calls us that?!
Russell: So thats your second marriage in two years.
Russell: Oh, thats better then.
Russell: And well need to have witnesses who can testify that you were not of uh, sound mind.
Monica: Hey. So um, I was thinking that maybe we should start dividing up our stuff.
Rachel: (grabbing the star) What the hell is that?
Monica: What is the matter with you?!! Why arent you more upset?! Arent you gonna be sad that were not gonna be living together anymore?! I mean arent you gonna miss me at all?!
Monica: No-no, wait! Just let me finish, okay? This isnt something that we just, we just impulsively decided in-in Vegas, this is something we both really want. And it is going to happen.
Ross: Its not that. Okay? Annulments are more complicated than I
Ross: I I do, I do not love Rachel. Im gonna tell her right now about the whole thing so we can get this marriage annulled as fast as possible. Okay? Would I do that if I loved her?
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and thats when we get married. Well have Chandlers money and Rachels kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachels drinking problem.
Monica: Why would someone do that?! ...One might wonder.
Ross: Yeah, but it didnt fit. Well, luckily theres a store here that has one left in her size, but Im the groom, Im not supposed to see the dress
Aurora: Yes, you said that.
Chandler: This-this Fonzie person you keep referring too, is that uh, is that another doctor?
Ross: Well, we-we havent said that to each other yet, but I guess its okay to say it to other people.
Director: That would work.
Phoebe: Well thats great! Congratulations!! (She hugs Rachel.)
Monica: That is a slap in the face.
Cynthia: Oh, candles! (Notices something.) What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! (As she storms out, Rachel returns and overhears the conversation.)
Chloe: Thats so great for you guys!
Chandler: Well, thats pretty much all Im looking for from these people.
Ross: That guy, he burns me up.
Phoebe: Good thats a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Yknow? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
Rachel: That had to hurt!
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?
Ross: Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too!
Monica: Aunt Syl, I did this as a favor, I am not a caterer. What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas? (listens to Aunt Syl on phone, looks shocked) Nice talk, Aunt Syl. (in New York accent) You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
Monica: Thats right Patrick, bye-bye!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Ross: Thats okay, I mean it was just two-week thing anyway, I just didnt want it to end this way, yknow?
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Phoebe: So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Yknow, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay!
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Monica: And that would be?
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
Actress/Olivia: That kiss never happened.
Joey: Sorry, that was wax.
Mr. Posner: Yes, thats very good. Now a uh, big part of this job is cultivating personal relationships, especially with designers.
David: Bye Phoebe. (He gets in and the cab drives off. Joey walks up and witnesses that event.)
Phoebe: Id better go. (She goes and sits down in the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000, the chair that Sit magazine called chair of the year, and they both look at her.) Just over here: I dont want to miss the fight.
Joey: Yeah, isnt that a cool name?
Joey: I didnt do that! Who wouldve done that?!
Chandler: Thats sweet.
Rachel: Look at that!
Richard: (standing behind her, without his moustache) I can help with that.
Chandler: Wait! I just want you to know that... I'm so happy you're going to be here.
Chandler: You-you-you didnt know that. (Pause as she nods no.) Well, I guess my work here is done!
Monica: Yeah! I didnt know there would be dancing. That was a fun surprise!
Ross: Did that guy just call you Toby?
Monica: Oh! I hate that guy! I mean come on kid! Pull up your pants!
Rachel: (talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Ross: No, I mean, look I dont know if anything is going to happen with us, again. Ever. But I dont want to know that it-it never could. So I stopped it and she got mad and broke my projector.
Monica: Look, there's Chandler. You knew, that stupid friend of Ross'. Said I'm fat. You know I've already lost 4 pounds!
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you! Only, uhh, I couldnt. I got the stage fright. I wanted to help, but there was too much pressure. So-so I uh, I turned to Chandler.
Charlie: Oh, ah, isn't there another professor that is supposed to come with us?
Ross: (looking then moving away quickly) Uh-huh! Uh-huh! And-and-and Ill always remember that summer because thats when I realized that we are related.
Ross: So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
Monica: That is so unfair!
Sandy: That's fair... Although, can I ask... why do you think that is?
Monica: I cannot believe that I just spent the last two days trying to figure out the recipe and it was in my cupboard the whole time!
Mr. Geller: I'd like that.
Chandler: Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo!
Chandler: (pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?
Rachel: I dont care how long ago it was! You told people that I was half and half! Yknow what? I just want to point out I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
Chandler: All right, but I should warn you, Im not going. Im going. (Does The Face while saying that last part.)
Rachel: Great! It went great. Really great. Hey, is that wine?
Chandler: Dude! Dude! (Motions that Joey should pull up his pants.)
Rachel: Yeah. And yknow who shouldve shut their drapes? Is that perverted old couple two doors over.
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Chandler: Well thats not fair, youve already had some!
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
Joey: Dont stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot!
Ross: Me. Was that not clear? Hey, why don't, um, why don't I just join you both, here?
Phoebe: You don't need Janice for that, you've got us. We
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Ross: That little naked guy would be me.
Joey: Nothing. Its just old and dingy, thats all.
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Chandler: (tongue-tied) Uhl..ell. By the way, in case you missed that, that sound was, "Uhl, ell."
Chandler: Yeah, I can say that I have a conference and you can say you have a chef thing.
Chandler: (standing up) Thats right! Im not!
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was... well to always knock before going into the pool house... but the other thing was never borrow money.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything?
Monica: No, that's not it. It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before, I just... I just realized I don't care if he's the most perfect guy in the world... he's not you.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Phoebe: Hmm, they just dont make em like that anymore!
<Ross ponders that and walks away>
Ross: So, this must be kinda neat for ya, huh? I mean, your Dad tells me that you get a couple of days off school, and you, you ah, dont have to sell those cookies anymore.
Monica: Why would we do that?
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. (She grabs the skull, pulls out a stick of licorice, and takes a bite.)
Joey: That one will.
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
Joey: Its not that far! Just drop!
Carol: No, no that was the first.
Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
Phoebe: No it's just that I got this new pager and I have it on vibrate. See ya!
Monica: You bet that Id screw up?! So all that stuff about hiring me because I was good was
Monica: Oh, right! I completely forgot about that.
Monica: (freaking out) What-what-whats that now?!
Ross: Wow, I havent seen her for like forever. I wonder if she still carries that Barbie everywhere she goes.
Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal.
Chandler: Oh wow! Is that what this all have been about?
Ross: I dont want to do that.
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?