words in movies
Chandler: Maybe I should quit and get a job that pays.
Monica: Oh, But you're finally doing something that you love! I can't ask you to give that up. Though it'd be nice if the thing that you love was y'know... finding gold.
Chandler: Because we don't do that. We are Bings! And if there's one thing my father taught me was... well to always knock before going into the pool house... but the other thing was never borrow money.
Phoebe: Oh...you don't have to go, I have something that will fit you.
Mike: I put that tube top on as a joke.
Monica: Listen...I need to know that what I'm about to ask you, will never get back to Chandler.
Rachel: Oh er... well you know Emma started crawling? I realised that this place, is very unsafe for a baby. So I went to the store and got some stuff to baby-proof the apartment.
Rachel: Monica...would you please tell Joey that he is a pig?
Monica: Is that a bit you guys do?
Monica: We don't do that! Tell her we don't do that!
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Chandler: And that would have made the official party line. (Joey nods) Monica and I are having a little financial trouble.
Chandler: Yes! Two thousand dollars exactly! How do you know that! (Joey begins writing a cheque)
Chandler: What would she get for herself for two thousand dollars that she wouldn't tell me about?
Joey: Well it's...It's not that crazy okay? Making them smaller, that would be crazy.
Phoebe: Was it really that bad?
Mike: I'm sorry. Are you ok with that? Cause if not...maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea.
Phoebe: Yeah I get that.
Chandler: Well yes yes... You look nice can mean that your face looks nice. I want to compliment your body. I mean..I wouldn't change it. At all. And more specifically, I wouldn't want anything to get any bigger.
Chandler: I mean, You wouldn't want any part of me to get any bigger would you? Don't answer that.
Rachel: Just when you thought that dude couldn't get any wierder.
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, what brought that on?
Monica: Oh my god. We're trying to get pregnant so he's probably starting to freak out about the fact that my body is going to change.
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Monica: About that? Erm...I'm going to change.
Chandler: They...do that?
Chandler: God why why would you want to do that to yourself!?
Monica: I thought I was something that we both wanted!
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Rachel: Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?
Ross: Well, I know the other day in the coffeehouse you were caught up in the whole soccer mom thing? but is that really you? I mean can you honestly picture yourself in a Volvo?
Phoebe: Right. Except that I do want to get married.
Phoebe: I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt I was missing out on anything but it just feels that now it's my turn some of the regular stuff.
Mike: I want to live with you too! Let's do that!
Phoebe: But I don't think I can! it was ok to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen.
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. (they hug again)
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
Ross: Really? That would be great. I mean, I have to do something, she kinda teased me about how I dress.
Chandler: You actually think that something can happen between Emily and Susan?
Chandler: Oh, thats cool. Then Ill just bring them both over.
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
Chandler: What?! Why did you do that?
GUNTHER: That sucks. I was buried in an avalanche.
Monica: I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesnt that give me the right to control himhelp him?
Chandler: Well that would help the pride thing.
Rachel: Honey, why dont you sit down? Dina has something that she wants to tell you.
Chandler: That was pretty intense huh?
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Chandler: I just think that things would go a lot smoother if we each have our own zone. Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping. And yknow Mon, you can be in charge of diapering and I can be in charge of looking how cute they are when they put their hands around (He degrades into baby talk, but he means when they grab his finger.)
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Phoebe: You mean whenever Monica and Chandler where like y'know doing laundry or going grocery shopping orOh! All that time Monica spent on the phone with sad Linda from camp!
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Ross: (disappointed) Thats cool.
Janice: Oh! Okay! (To Ross) You, Mister Right Place at the Right Time, call me! (Does her famous, or is that infamous, laugh and exits.)
Chandler: Thats totally understandable.
Monica: Not one that can pee on the roof.
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee as Joey comes from God knows where! Some back area of Central Perk around the corner that weve never seen! Weeeiiirrrddd .]
Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?
(Rachel and Joey both laugh at that suggestion.)
MONICA: Hey, we could have used that kind of thinkin' earlier.
Chandler: Oh well, that makes it not terrible.
Rachel: Thats right!
[Scene: Rachel and Barrys bedroom, Rachel is returning from her disastrous attempt at an affair to find that Barry was much, much more successful with his.]
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Rachel: Look Monica, getting cold feet is very common. Yknow, its-its just because of all the anticipation and you just have to remember that you love Chandler. And also, I ran out on a wedding. You dont get to keep the gifts.
Rachel: Oh wow! What now Ross youre not gonna talk? How on earth will you ever annoy me? Oh wait a minute, I know. (Mimics his breathing.) I mean youd think the damn jalepeno wouldve cleared up your sinuses, but no!! Thats not enough (Ross jumps over and kisses her.) What are you doing?!
Ross: No! The reason Im asking is that I sorta had one last night.
Joey: So, does that mean the audition is off?
Chandler: Is there any chance you didnt see that?
Monica: Was it really that good?
Chandler: I think thats gum.
Mike: oh it's just you have that look (shuts the front door)
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Monica: (excited) I can do that!
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Chandler: Thats what you got me?
CHANDLER: Ok, but can you tell him that, because he thinks he's too pink.
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
Rachel: So would I. You wouldnt think that Annie Liebawitz would forget to put film in the camera.
Chandler: Thats great!
Joey: Yeah, the ah, trees that dont fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper.
Rachel: Aw honey stop! Its not that bad.
Joey: Hey! I made that for her!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
Janine: Oh that would be great!
Kim: Thats not true?
Monica: (cooking something) Phoebe, you were supposed to take that back!
Ross: You weren't there! Okay, maybe this is something that I-I'm supposed to seize! Y'know?
Ross: Monica, whatever you do, do not drop that ball!
Ross: Why did you do that?
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
Joey: I love that saying!
Phoebe: (shocked) Thats a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat.
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do.
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Hillary: And after that, what could I do except become a chef.
The Lurker: I don't want to see you lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair!
Rachel: Thats right!
Gary: So uh Chandler, you like that badge I got you?
Chandler: Did you hear that?
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you!
Ross: You've never said that in your life, have you?
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Rachel: Thats a good story, Grandpa.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun!
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that Im yknow insecure about my manhood or anything yknow, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
Monica: Thats a good idea.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what we can do? Yknow, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, yknow like we did when we were first going out. Itd be fun!
Chandler: Y'know that whole swimming thing is a myth.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Jill: Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that?
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
David: You're kidding me. Because I'm not seeing anybody, I've just totally made that up.
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
Joey: Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, its just not my character thats not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight?
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Joey: She made me switch to light Mayo. Thats it! Thats all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!
Monica: Do you remember that jacket that you love so much, that you thought was too expensive?
Chandler: Im not arguing with that.