words in movies
Rachel: Well thatyknow its just uh, Ive never done that before. Me and him alone.
Rachel: Okay. Well thats pretty much all that we haveOh! Oh! Have you ever had a virgin margarita? (Holds up a bottle of margarita mix.)
Monica: Come on! It wasnt that bad!
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Ben: (laughs) Thats a good one.
Rachel: Yeah? You like that one?
Monica: That is true.
Joey: Yeah and the most important thing is that it wont be some like, stranger up there who barely knows you. Itll be me! And I swear Ill do a really good job. Plus, yknow I love you guys and-and it would really mean a lot to me.
Ross: Thats right! Thats right! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat so the pee goes everywhere!
Rachel: Oh that.
Ross: Yeah that! You know I hate practical jokes! Theyre mean and theyre stupid and-and I dont want my son learning them!
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you dont think thats just a little funny?!
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
Joey: Now-now, listen this is just a first draft so (Starts to read the piece of paper he brought.) "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share." (Monica and Chandler like it so far.) Eh? (He continues reading.) "It is a love based on giving and receiving. As well as having and sharing. And the love that they give and have is shared and received. And through this having and giving and sharing and receiving." (Phoebe nods her approval.) "We too can share and love and have and receive."
Carol: Hey Rachel! (The camera cuts to her face and we see that Ben pulled the quarter trick with her as well.)
Rachel: Id love that. I would loooove (Carol goes to make the coffee and she sits down.) So uh, so where is sweet little Ben? I would love to have a little...
Rachel: I found him! (To Ben) Very funny, come here! (She sits down on the coffee table and Ben walks up.) That is exactly why Ive come here to talk to you okay?
Rachel: Yes oh(To Ben)Do I want sugar in my coffee? (Ben nods no.) No, just some milk would be good Carol. Thanks. (To Ben) Okay, do you remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Ben: (mimicking her) Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Rachel: Dont do that.
Ben: Dont do that.
Rachel: No! Dont say that! Dont say that!
Phoebe: Oh, interesting you should call me that! Now that I may never have one! (Holds up the warning label.)
Joey: (reading) "When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and " And then I cant think of a good word for right here. (He points to the stop on the paper where he left off.)
Chandler: See Joe, not that thats not grrreat! But, one of the cool things about having somebody we know perform the ceremony is that it can be about us! Yknow, it can be more personal. You can tell stories about us!
Phoebe: Did you ever feed him a poison capsule that made him bleed from the eyes?
Monica: It doesnt say that!
Chandler: Isnt that what happened with you and the brides maid?
Joey: Yeah!! I call that London style.
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
Chandler: But then later that night
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Chandler: Well, look its been a really emotional time yknow, and youve had a lot to drink. And youve just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight!
Chandler: But we dont do that.
Monica: Drunk enough to know that I want to do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Chandler: (thinks) Thats the perfect amount!
Chandler: It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.
Chandler: Well I think its safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Monica: Eh, we werent that close anyway!
Chandler: Hey Joe! I was just watching a movie-e-e (Notices that the TV is turned off.)
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
Joey: Oh (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadnt left you that last one? You two mightve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! Its like it was in the stars!
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Monica: Okay, fine but please dont be upset! Okay? I was really depressed okay? And really drunk! I just wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted just sex. So, when I went to your room that night I was actually looking for Joey. (Joey smiles.)
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
Monica: Chandler, please! Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey was not there that night?!
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
Ben: That you and daddy were not on a break.
Ross: Nice. And by the way that uh, that line down my face?
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Rachel: That was you?! We heard about you in Junior High! Did you really just shake your fist in the air and shout, "I will be revenged?!"
Ross: I will be! Listen, I dont want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Ross: No thats not what I want. Uh, Im glad you guys were bonding but I
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Joey: No-hey-no! If you dont want me to do it, I except that. I dont care about that. I just I dont want you to be upset.
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
Chandler: Thats what you should say.
Chandler: When youre marrying us; thats what you should say.
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Ross: All right, thats it! (He runs over to Ben, but he runs past him and out the door.) Comeyouno! You are in big trouble young man!
Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy and that she had been had.)
Chandler: Yeah, we talked and Monica made me see that I over reacted a little bit and some things in life are more important.
Phoebe: (still reading the label) Oh my God! This is a six-hour pill! (Checks her watch) Thats it! Im out of the woods! Ohh! What a relief!
Chandler: Hes not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! Im supposed to do that!
Joey: Well, you're way sounds a lot better than mine. (Thinks about it.) Yeah. Yeah! It's not that I'm a bad actor
Hums While He Pees: Me too! Im sorry that guy in the subway licked your neck.
Monica: Yeah, is that okay?
Ross: I could, yeah, I can do that.
Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Wendy: Oh. - What's *that* like?
Ross: Thats right, I love you! And-and Im gonna play with you all the time.
Chandler: But we don't do that.
Phoebe: Hey, dont call him that! His name is Spackel Back Harry!
Monica: Eh, we weren't that close anyway!
Stripper: So is that a bedroom? (Points to the guestroom.)
Ross: Thats Daddy?! But doesnt it bother you? Youre a waitress.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Chandler: Yes! And look, now that I know if I got some extra stuff lying around can we, can we share the closet.
Rachel: And also, you know I uh, I was thinking about what you said, you know, about the whole sex thing and... it's probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
Monica: You thought about that?
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
[Scene, A Restaurant, Rachel is on her date, drunk, and is leaving that answering machine message.]
Phoebe: Aren't we done with that?
(Shortly after that, Chandler enters.)
Chandler: Yes! And thats why Im under the table. Celebrating.
Chandler: (singing) The sunll come out tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow (The girls start laughing, and in a deep voice) therell be sun.
Chandler: Now that Rachel's gone?
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Uh-huh, me too. Ross, maybe I should've specified that I'd be needing a grown up doctor.
Chandler: (yelling from the changing room) All right! I found one that fits!
Tag: (interrupting) Uh Mr. Zelner, Im the one who filled in that evaluation.
Janice: I will go for that drink.
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Joey: Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about that.
Rachel: (sitting down next to Chandler) Im training to be better at a job that I hate, my life officially sucks.
Chandler: Picturing that tree?
Ross: Soon hell be able to call you, that lady he knew who got fired.
Monica: Right there! That was so fake!
Joey: Ok, wait wait wait wait a minute wait a minute, I mean Rach, I mean if if... . If Hugsy means that much to Emma then... well she can have him.
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Phoebe: Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Gavin: Yes, I feel that you are a little annoying.
Ross: well.. its just. its just in that case, then um. Emma would go to my parents.
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Phoebe: I dont know, I hardly ever say that about people.
Rachel: Ok, I know this is gonna sound really stupid, but I feel that if I can do this, you know, if I can actually do my own laundry, there isn't anything I can't do.
Monica: Hey-hey-hey. You wanna hear something that sucks.
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Joey: (Voice cracking) Well thats like summer in a bowl.
Monica: All right, you just make sure that Chandler catches the ball, Ill take care of the rest.
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Monica: You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate!
Phoebe: That wouldn't stand in the way of a true pianist.
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Ross: Oh, yeah, yeah that�s Michelle.
Rachel: Do you have anything that would... get us out of them?
JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
Rachel: Wow. She does that a lot!
Rachel: How do you know about that?
Michelle: You feel that too? Oh, I thought that was just me!
Rachel: Come on see, she doesnt look that bad.
Rachel: Whoa, how do you know about that?
Joey: Nice!! Yeah! Is that part of your resolution, your new thing for today?
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Joey: Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.
Chandler: I don't do that.
Ross: Thatll be a neat trick, when youre, (looks at the script) when youre dead!
Rachel: Really? What's that like?
Chandler: Ooh, she's asleep, that means we can...
Rachel: Hey Mon, lets give Pete a chance Come on, he was funny, he seems really nice, and that check thing was adorable.
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Monica: Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast.
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
Ross: That bad?
Ross: Why does everyone keep saying that?
Ross: Female body inspector? What size is that?
Phoebe: No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! (she rolls over and kisses him on the cheek) All right, y'know what? Im just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit!
Phoebe: I haven't exactly had a normal life and I never really felt I was missing out on anything but it just feels that now it's my turn some of the regular stuff.
Rachel: I know, that old lady at the end was ready to take you home.
Judge: Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage?
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.
Monica: Is that a bit you guys do?
Monica: We don't do that! Tell her we don't do that!
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
Rachel: I made the mistake of telling him that I was pregnant.
Monica: Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.
Joey: Dude, youre not even man enough to order the channel that carries the sport.
Chandler: And that would have made the official party line. (Joey nods) Monica and I are having a little financial trouble.
[Scene: Cole-Geddes Casting Agency, Joey is there on his audition and thinking about that 2,000 bucks for the twins study.]
Monica: ...And then we throw your body in the water... Gee, that does sound fun.
Ross: Like em, like em? Or, Id like to get store credit for that amount like em?
Phoebe: Yeah I get that.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?