words in movies
Monica: How is that gonna happen?
Ross: I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off.
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?
Mr Zelner: Wow, that is tempting.
Ross: Look, she loved her job here. And let's face it: you're not gonna find anyone who did it as well as she did it. Isn't that true?
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Mr Zelner: You can really arrange that?
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Phoebe: Well, no, no, wait, wait, wait. All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her.
Joey: I love that saying!
Joey: I was just gonna call you! That’s weird.
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
Joey: That’s it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball.
Phoebe-Estelle: Don’t take that tone with me. Who you think you are? Alan Lemond, the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic?
Joey: No, no, look. All I’m saying is that you’re my agent, ok? And you’re not getting me into any auditions and I’m tired of it.
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Rachel: Oh, well, she’s asleep now. Stop forcing that thing on her.
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Rachel: When the Louis Vuitton people found out that Ralph Lauren wanted me back, the offered me more money! Isn’t that great?
Chandler: It feels like we’re cheating on our house. And if we’re gonna cheat, shouldn’t it be with like a hot, younger house, that does stuff that our house won’t do?
Phoebe: No, that wouldn’t kill her. Ordinary embolism might.
Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves)
Janice: Ooh, that decides it then. I was on the fence. But knowing that you two would be our neighbors? Ah! now we have to get it! (Chandler and Monica are utterly shocked) Ellen, we're going to talk numbers. (Grabs Ellen by her elbow and pulls her outside)
Chandler: The only way that that is going to happen, is if the other couple are the Hitlers.
Chandler: That is a great idea! And by the way, I don't mean to sound distasteful, but when did you start crapping money!?
Monica: Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. (She shows this with her index finger, mimicking it pushing something up)
Chandler: (looks afraid, but at the same time, knows she's right) Well, we have to do something. We can't have her living next door. (Janice's laughs loudly outside) Oh, that does it too. (Motions with his index finger like Monica did)
Phoebe: Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for firing me.
Chandler: Wait! I just want you to know that... I'm so happy you're going to be here.
Chandler: Because... that way... we can pick up where we left off.
Chandler: Now that you live next door, we can be together every day. Sid and Monica never have to know a thing.
Chandler: Don't say that. Don't tangle the dream and take it away.
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Rachel: But I already told Zelner that I would come back...
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
Phoebe: Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number.
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Monica: Wait a minute. That wasnt a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight.
Phoebe: Oh! Well, what kind of emergency that gets us both out of here?
Rachel: I always loved that!!
Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldnt want you?
Ross: Thats not really porn.
Ross: I'd lead with that.
Joey: (To Chandler) Hey man, you feeling any better? (Chandler answers him with some guttural sounds that only he can make and that no human can transcribe.)
Phoebe: And no, oh please, oh please let me finish. (Rachel stops talking.) Oh I guess that was it.
Ross: Cassie, how you-how you doin on that hot dog.
Monica:: I cannot tell you how happy that makes me! (They hug)
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!
Rachel: Because Im married. Thats right, I am a married woman! And I came to a TV stars apartment to have an affair! Uck!
Rachel: No, you're right, you are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different.
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
Chandler: Me, that guy who just said butt cracks?
Steve: Chandler, hi! I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions. We just felt that with your maturity and experience, you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
Chandler: You are aware that shes not a monkey, right?
Rachel: Oh, oh thanks. Alright well, now that I'm up I'm going to go to the bathroom.
[Scene: The Airport, Chandler and Monica are following the previous couple through a tiny hallway that proves this is a set on a sound stage and not an actual airport, and see them enter the first class lounge.]
Chandler: Well no, Charlie's gonna get that.
Chandler: Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up. Look, I'm sorry, some things are different for men and for women.
Ross: Wow. What does that mean?
Rachel: Yeah and honey I promise next time that I will just say good-bye and tell em youre not looking for a relationship.
Rachel: Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing!
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is?
[Scene: The Hall Outside Lydia's Room, Joey is walking up to Lydia's room with balloons, but before he enters he sees that the baby's father has arrived. He listens at the door.]
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Monica: Oh... what does that mean?
Monica: Okay, looks like Ross and I are captains. Okay, so um, I bunnied first so that means I get to pick first. Joey.
Ross: I prefer not to answer that right now, Im still carrying a little holiday weight.
Joey: So, I don't have to learn what that means?
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
Phoebe: Oh, I'll take some of that.
Janice: No-no-no, no. I'm going to talk. I believe that the sun has set on our day in the sun.
Chandler: And err, he informed me that uh, she took the news rather badly, in fact, he uh, mentioned the word frenzy.
Rachel: Umm, well I would have to say that it's a, it's tragic love story.
[Scene: Ben and Joey's (Isn't that an ice cream??) callback.]
Rachel: Hey! We were not on aOkay. Thats fine! Fine. Yknow what Ben? One day when you are a lot older I am going to tell you that entire story over a pitcher of real margaritas, okay?
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
Rachel: Gee, I always heard them talk about that, I just always thought that it was a club they went to. Oh God, Im, Im sorry. (walks away)
Rachel: Oh, isn't that adorable? Joey is afraid of the tarantula.
Phoebe: How can people do that?... (All but Phoebe walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!
Monica: All right, hand me that other box of photos; that's the very last one.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) In case you didnt notice, that is a scary man.
Chandler: How do you feel about that?
Rachel: What do you mean, you fold? Hey, come on! What is this? I thought that 'once the cards were dealt, I'm not a nice guy.' I mean, what, were you just full of it?
Joey: That... never happens...
Phoebe: Noo! But that would've been so cool!
Joey: Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
Joey: (Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!
Joey: Hey man, look sorry about that Archie thing. Do uh, do you need me to give you some money?
Chandler: It's just that we bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married, and things got pretty ugly.
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
Rachel: Whoa! I cant believe you did that. That was really sweet.
MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.
Chandler: That would be advice!!
Phoebe: OK, fine, if it means that much to you I'll get rid of Bob.
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Conan: But audiencesYou have a live studio audience and they must love that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.
Emily: No. Thats not what Im saying. I just may know a few things that might help you inflict some pain.
Ross: Wha... what you really think we can do that?
Chandler: Yeah, so, what's that supposed to mean?!
MONICA: There's no man in here.� How dare you accuse me of that.� (She slaps Chandler.)
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
Chandler: And there's not chance that will work?
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Rachel: Zelner! Right! I knew that! I really, really want this job and I think, I think I would be really good at it.
Charlie: I didn't do that.
Rachel: Okay, y'know what uh, actually, that's great. That helps a lot. Thanks. (She leaves them to wrestle.)
Chandler: Well she, she wouldnt do that, shes with, shes with me.
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
JADE: Hey, Bob, it's Jade. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day, and just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy.
Ross: Yes! Thats where we realized we were both super cool people!
Ross: Wow. Umm Huh I'm-I'm not sure what to do with that right now.
Ross: Youre not getting away this time mister! Unless you want that ass kicking we talked about!
Monica: I'm not always that bad!
Rachel: I don't care about any of that!!
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Joey: (coming in from his bedroom) What is that?
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Monica: Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in Jersey!
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
Ross: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Rachel: But that wasn't gonna stop you before!
Rachel: Yeah, I said what was okay when I thought she was some weird bald chick. I mean, y'know, that girl has hair got all over head!
RYAN: [Comes out of the bathroom, also with oven mits on his hands.] Well that wasn't easy.
Monica: Ohh, sweetie! (Goes to comfort her.) Hey, I bet you anything that hes gonna call you again.
Chandler: Dont take this personally okay? Its just that I just cant have sex with a sick person.
Mike: You know, you should really look in a mirror before you call yourself that.
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!