words in movies
(Chandler lets her into the apartment and reveals that Monica is getting a massage from another woman.)
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
Joey: Thats always appropriate! (Back to the matter at hand) Oh, okay. One more push! One more push!
Rachel: Aw, its unbelievable! Wow! She is kicking so much! Oh, shes like umm oh whos that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
Joey: Oh thats amazing. (Drops the sheet.)
Chandler: Okay. How about in that cabinet?
Monica: No! Thats where we keep the canned goods! Have you completely forgotten everything you learned at orientation?
Chandler: Oh yknow, Ive been living here a while and Ive never seen whats inside that closet. What is, what is in there?
Monica: Chandler, there is nothing in there that concerns you! If you love me you-youll let it go.
Monica: Thats different, we were roommates! And when?!
Monica: Okay, if it means that much to you
Rachel: Its not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do (Mimics him) that again.
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
Joey: Wow! Can I get a copy of that?
Phoebe: Thats right, you just enjoy.
Monica: Oh God Phoebe!! (Phoebe covers one ear.) Oh thats it! Thats it! Right there! Oh! (Tries to cover the other ear.) Ooooh-oooh-ooooh (Covers both ears and continues the massage with her elbows.)
Chandler: I dont know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I cant see?!
Rachel: Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctors uterus though. Mild discomfort, whats he talking about?
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: Thats a good idea.
Monica: I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good!
Phoebe: No-no, I got that.
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Rachel: Ohh! Thats so sweet of you! Oh yum! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich and starts to get sick.) Did you put pickles on this?
Rachel: Yeah, Ill be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Ross: Oh Rach thats great. Thats great. (They hug and Joey breathes a sigh of relief.)
Chandler: No, honey youre not sick! Look, I dont love you because youre organized, I love you in spite of that.
Chandler: Yes! And look, now that I know if I got some extra stuff lying around can we, can we share the closet.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Phoebe: Thats it. Just relax.
Phoebe: Yeah, you like that dont you?
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
Joey: I love that saying!
Phoebe: (shocked) Thats a really nice gift. I was thinking of like a gravy boat.
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do.
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Mike: No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Joey: (voice-over) Oh, and then Monica joked that she wouldnt go out with a guy like Chandler...
Hillary: And after that, what could I do except become a chef.
The Lurker: I don't want to see you lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair!
Rachel: Thats right!
Gary: So uh Chandler, you like that badge I got you?
Chandler: Did you hear that?
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, wow that jacket looks great on you!
Ross: You've never said that in your life, have you?
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Rachel: Thats a good story, Grandpa.
Chandler: It doesn't say that. Does it?
Emily: Thats Carol with your son!
Rachel: Y'know Ross why dont you put that on your answering machine!
Charlie: Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun!
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that Im yknow insecure about my manhood or anything yknow, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
Monica: Thats a good idea.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what we can do? Yknow, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, yknow like we did when we were first going out. Itd be fun!
Chandler: Y'know that whole swimming thing is a myth.
MRS. GREENE: Oh well thank you. Such a gentleman. Thank you. [Chandler takes the hot pink coat and grimaces at it] Ahh, it all looks so nice, so festive, all the balloons... [Chandler, remembering that Joey and Mr. Greene are in the bedroom, throws her coat in a cupboard] The funniest thing happened to me on the way here. I was...[Joey peeks out]
Jill: Me go out with Ross?! No! God no! What would make you think that?
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Joey: Oh, ain't that nice? The three of you trying on slutty lingerie together.
Cookie: No kiddin, thats the exact same drink I made myself right after I shot my husband.
David: You're kidding me. Because I'm not seeing anybody, I've just totally made that up.
Phoebe: Thats great. Good for you guys.
Joey: Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, its just not my character thats not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight?
Monica: No! No, she doesnt. Uh Phoebe, what she makesthats uhtheyre sock rabbits. They are completely differentOkay! Okay! Okay! I didnt make it! Im sorry! I totally forgot about tonight and the fact that were supposed to make the presents!
Joey: She made me switch to light Mayo. Thats it! Thats all I got! And, you know what? It tastes the same and my pants fit better!
Monica: Do you remember that jacket that you love so much, that you thought was too expensive?
Chandler: Im not arguing with that.
Chandler: Believe me, Ive been saying that for years. Oh my God!
Ticket Agent: I cant do that.
Joey: Im not answering that.
Chandler: Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. Im not answering that.
Phoebe: Its hard to believe that just a little while ago this was nothing but ingredients.
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Rachel: I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, Im so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. Youre gonna have to tell me how you did that.
Monica: I could do that.
Chandler: Whoa-ho, whoa! No, I was thinking about y'know for me, as a part of that whole getting over Janice thing you were talking about.
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Phoebe: I would love that job!
Rachel: But you said that you liked him! I mean what happened?! Did ya just change your mind?!
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Katie: Oh, ow! Did Joey tell you to say that? You guys, (Punches Joey) are too much! (Punches Rachel.)
RACHEL: Yeah, who's gonna eat all our food, and tie up our phone lines, and - is that my bra? What the hell you doin' with my bra?
Monica: All right, that's a little sketch of the cake, umm some sample menus, umm y'know what I thought we would start out with Tuscan style finger food, and for music, here's an alphabetized list of all my CDs! I've highlighted the ones that would go really good with the food.
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Roy: Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch.
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
Joey: Thatll be $3.85.
Phoebe: Oh my God, look! Thats Elizabeth!
Rachel: That is great. Hey, yknow who doesnt have to job hunt? Ross. He works at the university.
The Producer: Im sorry, why dont we do that right now? Hes right here. (Points to a guy.)
Monica: Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
JOEY: Na, na I'm ok. Oh and uh, just so you know, I'm not movin' back in 'cause I have to. Well, I mean, I do have to. It's just that that place wasn't really, I mean, this is...
Joey: See? Eh, wasnt that fun?
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Monica: Oh my God! We love that show! I mean Ross and I have been watching it since I can remember!
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Gary: That would be great!
Ross: Ohh, I-I see lotion, I have lotion! Will that work?
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Chandler: That was like 5 years ago.
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, but yknow, I think the reason were not getting that spin right is because my apartments too small.
Ross: Wh-wh-what line? The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say uh, (In a college frat boy voice) "Dude, dont you ever was your face?"
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange.
Monica: (Gasps) What?!! You cannot tell him that!!
CAROL: Look I just thought that...
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
Phoebe: If you could do that, Id marry the hippity-hop.
Rachel: I mean thats unbelievable.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, it's just that with my last roommate Kip...
Phoebe: That true, I am flaky.
Ross: (Stepping in between them.)Okay! Okay! Thats it!! Parents!! Parents!! Back away!! All right, this is our wedding day! From now on everyone gets along, and if I hear one more word. NO GRANDCHILDREN! (Pointing at his mother.) Thats right!!
Janine: Well, if thats what you want. Ill just put it all in my room.
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Monica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).
Monica: (entering, to Joey and Rachel) Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work?
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)
Jill: Oh my gosh, that was so lame. Like a pajmena could be a rug!
Rachel: Yeah, I got that.
Passenger #1: Okay, that doesn't sound good.