words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Rachel: What is that noise?
Chandler: Well the vet seems to think thats shes becoming a rooster. (The rooster crows.) Were getting a second opinion.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its later that morning, everybody has gotten up and Ross and Phoebe has joined them for breakfast. Rachel is returning from shopping.]
Chandler: Oh, I can uh, check that for ya.
Monica: That is sooo not true!
Joey: Shes mad because I know todays her laundry day and that means shes wearing her old lady underpants.
Chandler: I can check that for ya.
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
Joey: Yeah, whats that about?
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Chandler: Okay, ten bucks says that we can name every item in that bag.
Chandler: (to Ross) Stop that now!
Rachel: Okay, well, we won that one.
Monica: That does not mean you know us better, I-I want a rematch.
Dr. Zane: We do five because that gives you a 25% chance that at least one will attach.
Phoebe: Thats it! 25 percent? That means thats its like 75 percent chance of no baby at all!
Phoebe: Whoa!! Thatokay, thats a lot of pressure on me and my uterus. (to Dr. Zane) So, well okay, so is thereis maybe is there something that I can do yknow just to like help make sure I get pregnant?
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
Monica: You guys! Do you realize that any minute now, Phoebe can be pregnant?
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
Ross: Thats correct. Ladies?
Ross: That is correct.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use youre head!
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Chandler: Unfortunately that is correct.
Rachel: Oooohh thats interesting.
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
Ross: 11, unbelievable 11 is correct. (The guys celebrate.) All right, thats 4 for the guys. Ladies, youre up.
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Monica: Thats not even a word! I can get this! I can get this!
(Chandler grunts and turns around, sees that hes in sight of the room, and mouths damn!)
Phoebe: Well, freaked. Cause it turns out that the odds are really sucky. And! This is Frank and Alices like only shot. Like, they are literally putting all of their eggs in my basket.
Monica: Chinadolor Bong, come on, we steal that TV Guide every week!
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Rachel: Thats right! You do what the hand says!
Monica: Hey, dont mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop.
Phoebe: All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, yknow just remember that its still really early, okay so, if it says that Im not pregnant, that doesnt mean that Im not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I dont go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this.
Rachel: That is not true. She did! She forced me!
Rachel: I dont know! But maybe if we keep that drawer shut, itll die.
Ross: You-you just said that you did!
PHOEBE: See, I didn't know that.
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Rachel: Can I see that for second.
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
Joey: That doesnt sound like thinking to me!
Phoebe: No, no, thats the ghost for the attic.
Ross: Dad so what we have to pretend that were married?
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
Monica: Hey, don't say that! You got just as good a chance as anybody else of getting that job!
Phoebe: Y'know what that means?
Charlie: Well, for one, he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around.
ROSS: (seeing her also) Yeah, 'cause life's just that kind.
Frank: Okay, but isnt sex better when its with one person that you really, really care about.
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Monica: If you would stop thinking about Ross for one minute you would notice that there are great guys everywhere! I mean, look! Look, Gunther! (Gunther turns to listen in.) I mean, he's nice, he's cute.
Casting Director #2: Thats where you pick up the bag.
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Monica: Can you go any faster with that?
Chandler: What would she get for herself for two thousand dollars that she wouldn't tell me about?
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Monica: All right. Honey, thats-thats a sleeve. Okay?
Rachel: Okay. All right. (Gets up.) Honey listen. When I tell you what Im about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you.
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Ross: Marsha, these are cave people. Okay? They have issues like 'Gee, that glacier's getting kinda close.' See?
Ross: No! No! Im not! Its-its-its perfect! I mean its better than you just-just moving here, cause its us together forever, and thats-thats what I want.
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Monica: Oh God Phoebe!! (Phoebe covers one ear.) Oh thats it! Thats it! Right there! Oh! (Tries to cover the other ear.) Ooooh-oooh-ooooh (Covers both ears and continues the massage with her elbows.)
Monica: Thats right! You lose sucker!! (Pause) Please still marry me.
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Chandler: Uh, what about yknow the massage thing? That never gave you a heart attack.
Judge: And finally that you were unable to consummate the marriage. Well, that makes sense since youre gay and addicted to heroin.
(At that suggestion Monica starts laughing.)
PHOEBE: Well, OK, the record company sent over this piece of paper for me to sign, saying that it's OK for someone else to sing for me. That was my first clue.
Lauren: (at the window, shes looking down out of the window) What do you got down there, Vic? What do you got under that tarp?
Chandler: Really?! You do that?
Kathy: Can you really do that?
Emily: He does that?!
Joey: You're a lucky man. You know what I miss the most about her? That cute nibbly noise when she eats. Like a happy little squirrel, or a weasel.
Gary: Yeah, I-I considered that. I just know it would make me happy.
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
Monica: How would that go? (they kiss) Well, it didn't rhyme, but I liked it.
Joey: Nothing, hes just really believes in that.
Rachel: I know, I remember that!
Phoebe: Yeah! No, thats right. And I thought it was a really good idea.
Chandler: Oh, dont say that! Dont say that. Thats not true. Is it?
Chandler: Is that a real thing?
Ross: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
JOEY: It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good.
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
MR. GELLER: You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it's right there.
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Phoebe: After that? Yeah! No, I mean if I can help.
Ross: About about sex? (Joey looks at him confused) That I hadnt had sex in months?
Joey: Yeah, thats one naked hooker!
Phoebe: Yes! Shes very excited about that.
Emily: Ross umm, theres something that Ive got to tell you, theres-theres someone else.
Chandler: Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. (He's holding the phone so that Monica can hear it as well.)
Charlie: I guess. There was hum... (she breathes deeply) there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else.
Julio: Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. (points to her lip)
Rachel: Okay, you hard worker! Ill remember to put that in your evaluation.
The Dry Cleaner: Thats my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and Im betting hes not saying pleasant things about him.)
Monica: YeahOh thats right. You, you always wanted me too. Hey, I see you got your mustache back.
Chandler: No. No. Actually I forgot, what is the deal with that again?
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Monica: Well, it was good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Monica: (At a loss for words) Boy, that was-that was, umm terrific.
Rachel: Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Monica: And what if I was still fat? (To Chandler) Well, you wouldnt be dating me, thats for sure.
Chandler: Y'know what, hes right. Theres something like uh, ammonia in that, that like kills the pain.
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Chandler: That sounds good. I'll call you- or you call me, whatever...
Ross: (speaking with his mouth full) Yeah, I mean, all things that guy... (looks at the cookie) These are amazing!
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
[Cut to later in that episode. Ross is showing his boss his new place and notices something in the window.]
Chandler: (after they've left) Okay, did you see that?! With the inappropriate and the pinching!!
Chandler: Now you do that, youre on TV.
Chandler: Yeah that was stupid. Lets not do that.
Phoebe: I just, I just have this really strong feeling that this cat is my Mother.
Rachel: Wow, thats great Ross, Im sorry we werent more supportive before.
Chandler: Yeah, thatd be much worse than being 28, and still working here.
Gavin: Thank god you finally said that, I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago. (Rachel throws away that paper) Man, I really bug you, don't I?
[The next flashback is from The One Where Eddie Moves In. It's the sequence where Joey and Chandler are both saddened that they're not living together anymore. All By Myself is playing in the background.]
Charlie: Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird.
Roy: I don't know... I can make my pecs dance... I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks... I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame.
Kate: Happy?! Is that what Im supposed to be Vic? Happy?
Rachel: Well, they uh, they-they do more than that.
Rachel: Yes, I realize that