words in movies
Chandler: I dont know what it is, I just cant take a good picture.
Phoebe: Hey, why dont you guys go, get portraits done by a professional photographer.
Phoebe: Yeah thats great! Next to that, Chandler wont look so stupid.
Phoebe: You dont have to be back for a half-hour!
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Phoebe: So you wouldnt mind if he was dating someone else?
Rachel: Why? Is he? He is! Isnt he? Hes dating that slut in marketing!
Rachel: Okay, whoa-whoa easy there Melissa! This aint a locker room, okay? But, yknow I remember him saying that-that he had plans tonight.
Melissa: Hey! Isnt that Tags backpack.
Rachel: Yeah Melissa, I dont want to be known as the uh, office bitch, but I will call your supervisor.
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Joey: Great. (He doesnt like it.) You got anything thats not Ralph Lauren?
Rachel: Yeah, I dont think so Joe.
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
Hums While He Pees: Hey uh, I dont mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go?
Phoebe: Okay, dont freak out. Ill go.
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Phoebe: I dont have it!
Phoebe: Well, didnt you just hear what I said?!
Whitney: (outside the door) Uh, your door isnt sound proof.
Chandler: I cant help it!
Joey: Hey well, you cant teach someone to be good with women. Yknow, thats why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Joey: I dont know Rach.
Joey: One! (Pause.) No ten! You said ten! You cant take that back!
Joey: I dont know. You uh, you got something for me?
Chandler: I dont know, but dont worry, dont worry, because I know how to take a picture now. (They get ready) Okay, see? Look down (Looks down), look down, look down (He falls asleep.)
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Phoebe: Well, maybe he wouldnt be she didnt bring the office home every night!
Tag: No. We had a really good talk. I dont think Im gonna do that bar scene anymore.
Tag: Its just not really who I am. Y'know, Ive always been happier when Why am I telling you this? You dont care about this stuff.
Ross: Well maybe she wouldnt have to be selfish in bed if someone else knew where everything was!
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Phoebe: Yeah, and yknow what? I dont give a tiny rats ass.
Joey: Yknow, we dont have to imagine.
Monica: Hey, they dont pay me a penny a word to make friends.
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Rachel: Well, so, why dont you just turn it off?
Parker: Why dont all of you tell me a little about your self?
Joey: Oh, I dont watch soap operas. Excuse me, I have a life, yknow?
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Rachel: Clearly you dont want people to see this tape. Now I dont want people to see this tape either, but you so badly dont people to see it makes me want to see it. You see?
David: Hey! Oh, I was just about to leave. I-I-I-I didnt think you were coming.
Joey: Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right. I just can’t believe he would do this to Monica!
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe thats our baby.
Joey: Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesnt get it?
Joey: Great! Thanks! Youre gonna love her so much. AndOh, shes the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, yknow the S.A.Ts?
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess you don�t need my help Victor Victoria!
Ross: But, what�s great is that you don�t mind talking about it.
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Rachel: Come on see, she doesnt look that bad.
Michelle: Ross, you didn�t tell me you were a doctor!
Rachel: Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.
Ross: I don�t know.
Kathy: Its a good play, isnt it?
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
Rachel: Oh Im sorry. I I-I dont meanI didnt mean to stifle you. I This is all just a little overwhelming.
Monica: Oh, I didnt know you liked football.
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Ross: (turns back) What! (Angrily) You didnt do anything wrong?!
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
Ross: Dont be scared, I-I know it sounds crazy and-and people will say its too soon, but just-just think, think how great it will be.
Rachel: No. No, I dont. Could you be a dear and go tell him?
Ross: Let me finish, okay? She started kissing me and-and I didnt stop it. I guess I-I just wasnt thinking
Eric: I dont know, Im still pretty tired out from this afternoon.
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Joey: (reading) "When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and " And then I cant think of a good word for right here. (He points to the stop on the paper where he left off.)
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Will: Oh, it wasnt just me. We had a club!
Ross: Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we werent gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together.
Monica: (stunned) I-Im the head chef. I-I cant get promoted.
Phoebe: Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just dont know what the big deal is!
Eric: Uhh, I wont take no for an answer.
Monica: Fine. Im just glad I didnt give her my secret ingredient.
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Chandler: I did! But the store wouldnt take her back! So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out?
Rachel: Uh You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Cecilia: Id love to, but my lawyer said I cant do that anymore.
Ross: It went great! And I didnt need any jokes or naked chicks either!
Joey: Jos there, but I dont think theres anything she could do.
Rachel: Oh, honey, dont worry. She's gonna make it on time.
Monica: Ohh, he's really shy. I-I dont think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Phoebe: No, you can�t go. No-no-no, I can�t hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave.
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Monica: All right, Im gonna show you something a lot of guys dont know. Rach, give me that pad, please? (She does so and Monica starts drawing on it) All right. Now
Ross: Okay, I think I might know why my parents dont like you.
Ross: Yknow what? The doctor will be in soon, why dont we not speak until then.
Ross: Who gets whom. (They all look at him.) I dont know why I do that.
Joey: Yknow what? Why dont you just give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here?
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)
(She lets her hair down and whips her hair around in Baywatch-esque slow motion with a Barry White song in the background. Chandler needless to say cant help but stare along with the rest of the male and lesbian population of North America.)
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
Rachel: So that we would have something to talk about! So it wouldnt be awkward!
Joey: Like this. (pointing to the picture) Pictures of cute babies we dont know. We..we cant have that.
Phoebe: Im just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and cant perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.
Janine: I dont know, theyre just a little blah!
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.
Monica: Wait a minute. That wasnt a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight.
Rachel: No Paul, I dont know anything about you! Yknow, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood!
Joey: Good call. Yeah. But, the face Ross, the face isnt Rachel.
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why dont we go change in my room?
Rachel: Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why Im a terrible waitress? Because, I dont care. I dont care. I dont care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I dont care where the tray spot is, I just dont care, this is not what I want to do. So I dont think I should do it anymore. Im gonna give you my weeks notice.
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Janine: (entering from her room) Monica! Chandler! Im really-really sorry about tonight. I dont know if Joey told you; I just couldnt get out of going to this play. Im sorry. Have a great time.
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Monica: I dont want to say.
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Rachel: Im not going to sleep with Ralph Lauren. I mean, I could, but I wouldnt.
Joey: Shh. Shh. Dont try to talk, well get you up to your room, well soak your feet, youll be okay.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
Rachel: (To Phoebe) In case you didnt notice, that is a scary man.
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Chandler: You know, I flew a long way t see my loving wife? Is she here by the way?
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
Chandler: (spinning around looking for him) I dont think you did a very thorough job!
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Rachel: Whoa! I cant believe you did that. That was really sweet.
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Chandler: I dont know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I cant tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
Monica: So, if youre parents hadnt got divorced, youd be able to answer a question like a normal person?
Joey: Yeah, why dont you move in with me? Itll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursdays right?
Phoebe: I dont know. I dont know. I cant lie to him again. Oh no Ino! Im just gonna press my breasts up against him.
Chandler: Well she, she wouldnt do that, shes with, shes with me.