words in movies
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Monica: Well, so far I have uh, my brides maids dresses wont get picked up, my veil gets lost, or I dont have my something blue.
Joey: (entering) Hey! You guys! Remember that audition I had a while ago and didnt get the part?
Monica: Wait! Wait! Wait! You cant start today! Todays the rehearsal dinner!
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Richard: No I didnt.
The Director: (approaching) Okay! Were about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So uh, if you guys dont mind, can we run it a couple of times?
The Director: I dont think so. Lets take it back to Richards last line. (Walks off.) Action!
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Monica: I just, I cant believe that we made it!
Chandler: Well you dont have to sound so surprised.
Monica: Dad! Theres Ross (points), why dont you go talk to him?
Mr. Geller: I didnt even have a chance to act as though Im okay with it!
Mr. Bing: Yes! Although, I think we may be seeing a little too much of some people. Arent you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Rachel: Yeah! But I dont know what he looks like!
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes at least I wont get spit in the eyes, yknow?
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
Phoebe: Dont be so negative! Good God! Isnt it possible that Sorry is sitting in there (Joey and Rachels apartment) right now?!
Phoebe: (pointing at Ross) Okay but if you dont find him and bring him back, I am gonna hunt you down and kick your ass!
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Joey: (wiping face) Wow! Didnt know that.
Gunther: No. No, I havent seen him.
Ross: Yes. Yes. Dont worry. Everythings fine. Well uh, well see you tomorrow at the wedding.
Gunther: I wasnt invited.
Joey: No! No! I cant! You gotta get me out of it! Ive got plans! (Spits.) Important plans! (Spits on the Ps.)
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Rachel: God! DontWe cant let her start getting ready! This is too awful! Oh God, but wait shell be in the gown and then he wont show up and then shes gonna have to take off the gown
Phoebe: Shhh! Stop it! Stop it Rachel! You cant do this here! (She drags her into the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Rachel: Oh God I just can not imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesnt show up!
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
Ross: No! Hey! Hey! We cant!
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron? (The director turns around.) Hi! Umm, I have a little problem with the schedules. Originally, I wasnt supposed to work today, and I have this wedding that I really have to be at. Its my best friends, and Im officiating so I really cant work past four.
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Ross: Shes fine. She doesnt know youre gone. And she doesnt have to know, okay? Now come on, were going home.
Chandler: No! No! No! I cant do that!
Chandler: Because if I go home, were gonna become the Bings! I cant be the Bings!
Chandler: Its not just their marriage! I mean, look at yours. Look at everybodys! The only person that can make marriage work is Paul Newman! And Ive met me; I am not Paul Newman. I dont race cars! I dont make popcorn! None of my proceeds go to charity.
Ross: Yknow, okay. Youre right. It is huge. So why dont we take it just a little bit at a time? Okay? Umm, forget getting married for a sec; just forget about it. Can you just come home and take a shower?
Monica: I cant go to lunch!!
Rachel: We cant find Chandler (Phoebe sticks her head and motions that they found Chandler)s vest. We cant find Chandlers vest.
Phoebe: (entering) Found the vest! I mean were gonna have to keep an eye on it, yknow make sure we dont lose it again
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Joey: I know! Im sorry! The guys drunk, they wont let me go until we get this.
Joey: Hey! Dont you hang up on me! Ill marry you and me right now! I have the power!
Ross: There you go. You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasnt so scary, was it?
Phoebe: Okay. Oh but dont tell them Monicas pregnant because, they frown on that.
The Rabbi: I dont know. Are they Greek Orthodox?
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Mrs. Bing: Honey, it isnt good luck.
Ross: Great. Hes doing great. Dont you worry about Chandler.
Monica: Oh thats sweet. Dont touch me.
Richard: You wouldnt happen to have a very big fork?
Chandler: You dont know?
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Phoebe: Well you obviously didnt see Chucky 3.
Ross: Ive never walked down the aisle knowing it cant end in divorce.
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Monica: I didnt take a pregnancy test.
Monica: Hey, they dont pay me a penny a word to make friends.
Joey: I cant believe Ross went out with Rachels sister! When Chandler made out with my sister I was mad at him for 10 years.
Monica: Yeah! (They turn to the camera, and Chandler does The Face again.) All right, maybe you dont have to smile. Lets try something else. Lets try umm, try looking sexy.
Rachel: Well, so, why dont you just turn it off?
Parker: Why dont all of you tell me a little about your self?
Joey: Oh, I dont watch soap operas. Excuse me, I have a life, yknow?
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Rachel: Clearly you dont want people to see this tape. Now I dont want people to see this tape either, but you so badly dont people to see it makes me want to see it. You see?
David: Hey! Oh, I was just about to leave. I-I-I-I didnt think you were coming.
Joey: Chandler? Forty-five minutes? Well, something is not right. I just can’t believe he would do this to Monica!
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe thats our baby.
Joey: Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesnt get it?
Joey: Great! Thanks! Youre gonna love her so much. AndOh, shes the smartest of all the Tribbiani children. Hey, yknow the S.A.Ts?
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess you don�t need my help Victor Victoria!
Ross: But, what�s great is that you don�t mind talking about it.
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Rachel: Come on see, she doesnt look that bad.
Michelle: Ross, you didn�t tell me you were a doctor!
Rachel: Well, were a little early, the lecture doesnt end for 15 minutes.
Ross: I don�t know.
Kathy: Its a good play, isnt it?
Monica: Would you stop? Weve only been going out a couple of weeks, I mean we dont even know if hes gonna propose.
Rachel: Oh Im sorry. I I-I dont meanI didnt mean to stifle you. I This is all just a little overwhelming.
Monica: Oh, I didnt know you liked football.
Chandler: Janice, Im sorry but umm, you cant stay here tonight.
Ross: (turns back) What! (Angrily) You didnt do anything wrong?!
Chandler: No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!
Ross: Dont be scared, I-I know it sounds crazy and-and people will say its too soon, but just-just think, think how great it will be.
Rachel: No. No, I dont. Could you be a dear and go tell him?
Ross: Let me finish, okay? She started kissing me and-and I didnt stop it. I guess I-I just wasnt thinking
Eric: I dont know, Im still pretty tired out from this afternoon.
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Joey: (reading) "When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share, I can not help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving and giving and " And then I cant think of a good word for right here. (He points to the stop on the paper where he left off.)
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Will: Oh, it wasnt just me. We had a club!
Ross: Yeah. Uh, uh we promised we werent gonna tell anybody this but uh, about a month ago Rachel and I slept together.
Monica: (stunned) I-Im the head chef. I-I cant get promoted.
Phoebe: Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just dont know what the big deal is!
Eric: Uhh, I wont take no for an answer.
Monica: Fine. Im just glad I didnt give her my secret ingredient.
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Chandler: I did! But the store wouldnt take her back! So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out?
Rachel: Uh You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Rachel: Well sure, if you say youre gonna take care of everything I have no reason to doubt you. Give me those forms! (Grabs them from him.) All right, now Im gonna do this my way and I dont want to hear a peep out of you!
Ross: Well, I dont think we are gonna have that problem, but maybe thats just because I am not emotionally unavailable!
Cecilia: Id love to, but my lawyer said I cant do that anymore.
Ross: It went great! And I didnt need any jokes or naked chicks either!
Joey: Jos there, but I dont think theres anything she could do.
Rachel: Oh, honey, dont worry. She's gonna make it on time.
Monica: Ohh, he's really shy. I-I dont think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Phoebe: No, you can�t go. No-no-no, I can�t hold this table on my own. If they ask me to move, I cave.
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Monica: All right, Im gonna show you something a lot of guys dont know. Rach, give me that pad, please? (She does so and Monica starts drawing on it) All right. Now
Ross: Okay, I think I might know why my parents dont like you.
Ross: Yknow what? The doctor will be in soon, why dont we not speak until then.
Ross: Who gets whom. (They all look at him.) I dont know why I do that.
Joey: Yknow what? Why dont you just give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here?
Joey: One! (Pause.) No ten! You said ten! You cant take that back!
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, why dont you give a pull on that rope? (Points.)
(She lets her hair down and whips her hair around in Baywatch-esque slow motion with a Barry White song in the background. Chandler needless to say cant help but stare along with the rest of the male and lesbian population of North America.)
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
Rachel: So that we would have something to talk about! So it wouldnt be awkward!
Joey: Like this. (pointing to the picture) Pictures of cute babies we dont know. We..we cant have that.
Phoebe: Im just saying, get his number just in case. But no Chandler is in an accident and cant perform sexually and he would want you to take a lover to satisfy the needs that he can no longer fulfill.
Janine: I dont know, theyre just a little blah!
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.
Monica: Wait a minute. That wasnt a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight.
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why dont we go change in my room?
Rachel: No Paul, I dont know anything about you! Yknow, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood!
Joey: Good call. Yeah. But, the face Ross, the face isnt Rachel.
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Rachel: Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why Im a terrible waitress? Because, I dont care. I dont care. I dont care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I dont care where the tray spot is, I just dont care, this is not what I want to do. So I dont think I should do it anymore. Im gonna give you my weeks notice.
Janine: (entering from her room) Monica! Chandler! Im really-really sorry about tonight. I dont know if Joey told you; I just couldnt get out of going to this play. Im sorry. Have a great time.
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Monica: I dont want to say.
Ross: What, now youre not even taking to me? (moves over to the coffee table) Look Rachel, I-Im sorry, okay, Im sorry, I was out of my mind. I thought Id lost you, I didnt know what to do. Come on! Come on, how insane must I have been to do something like this? Huh? I-I dont cheat right, I, thats not me, Im not Joey!
Joey: Shh. Shh. Dont try to talk, well get you up to your room, well soak your feet, youll be okay.
Rachel: Im not going to sleep with Ralph Lauren. I mean, I could, but I wouldnt.
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
Rachel: (To Phoebe) In case you didnt notice, that is a scary man.
Joey: Well, this guy came by to look at the unit and-and he said he didnt think big enough to fit a grown man!
Chandler: You know, I flew a long way t see my loving wife? Is she here by the way?
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
Chandler: (spinning around looking for him) I dont think you did a very thorough job!
Rachel: Whoa! I cant believe you did that. That was really sweet.
Chandler: I dont know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I cant tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Joey: Yeah, why dont you move in with me? Itll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursdays right?
Monica: So, if youre parents hadnt got divorced, youd be able to answer a question like a normal person?
Phoebe: I dont know. I dont know. I cant lie to him again. Oh no Ino! Im just gonna press my breasts up against him.