words in movies
Phoebe: Well thats no way to sell newspapers. Why dont you try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Rachel: I didnt write it.
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
Joey: (entering) Hey uh Monica, I cant remember. Did we say we were gonna meet here or at the movies?
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Chandler: The front page? You really do live in your own little world, dont ya?
Cashier: Why dont you fill out this address card. (Hands him one.)
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Rachel: Oh, it was great! We got everything that we needed! Oh and Ross, almost got something that wasnt on the list. A whore.
Phoebe: Well did she know you two werent married?
Rachel: You dont understand! You didnt see how brazen she was.
Phoebe: Yeah, just dont get your hopes up.
Phoebe: Yknow! You dont make a very good first impression.
Phoebe: Oh you dont know.
The Food Critic: I dont see any reason why I would do that to myself again.
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Phoebe: All right, dont freak out! Okay? I-I will help you. How long before you have to leave?
Phoebe: I cant help you.
Monica: Oh no! I dont know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what its called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
Monica: I-I-Im sorry, your-your mouth was full, I didnt hear what you said. Umm, hats off to who now?
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Phoebe: Um-hmm, thats good to know. But lets stop focusing on what you dont do, and start focusing on what you do do.
Phoebe: Okay, dont worry. Youre ready.
Monica: Wow! A star! (The class glares at her.) I know you all hate me and-and Im sorry, but I dont care.
Monica: Excuse me? He doesnt even know what hes doing!
Monica: Okay then, I dont stink. Im a good chef. Okay. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont want to go. Im having fun.
Chandler: No dont I beg of you!
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Chandler: Oh my God this doesnt count! Okay? The interview was over, that was the real Chandler Bing in there, this is just some crazy guy out in the hall! Call security! Theres a crazy guy out in the hall!
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Ross: I wont date. Ill uh, Ill be here, with you, all the time.
Ross: We live together. Youre having our baby. Im not gonna see anybody else. Are you-are you sure you dont want something more?
Rachel: (pause) Wow! I dont know, maybe. Im
(They both laugh. Ross sits down, but Rachel doesnt move and is lost in thought.)
Joey: Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, thats the first A Ive gotten since seventh grade, and I didnt have to sleep with the teacher this time.
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Frank: Oh, well y'know, I wouldve called but I lost your phone number and then ah, my Mom locked me out of the house so I couldnt find it. And then, I tried to find a pay phone, and ah, the receiver was cut off. So...
Phoebe: God. Do think it really doesnt hurt? Cause how can they do that?
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
Joey: Yeah, not it here it isnt.
Joey: No, I dont think so.
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Ross: Yeah, yeah. (opens the door) It wasnt every morning.
Monica: I dont understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I dont have a boyfriend?
Chandler: I dont know. Should we try it?
Phoebe: No, actually I dont eat
Mrs. Potter: Phoebe, we have rules here, this isnt that kind of place.
Emily: I left a bra drying on the shower rod, you dont think your son will think its yours and be horribly traumatised?
Ross: What, that wasnt the great news?
Joey: Dont you think I asked him that before he got in?!
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Chandler: I dont want to look.
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Phoebe: Hey Ross! Doesnt Ben go to the Smithfield Day School?
Joey: Yeah! Well, I think well see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then they just take it away like-like, "No you dont."
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Ross: Okay, you dont have to stop, Im invisible, Im not here. (lights a candle)
Ross: (crying) Yeah, but this cant be it, I mean.
Ross: Okay, fine, fine. You dont want to believe me? No, thats fine. (starts to leave)
Ross: Why-why cant you take a couple of days off?
Monica: We havent eaten yet!
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
Monica: Oh, I-I dont know.
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and its nothin. You look at me, and nothin. (He kisses her, more passionately this time) Nothing.
Rachel: Cant I just look at the handles on them?
Monica: Y'know what, dont tell us. Well just wait until Chandler gets home, (to Phoebe) because itll be more fun that way.
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Chandler: Luckily, the guy she settled for cant hear what youre talking about.
Mrs. Green: Oh no-no-no-no sweetheart, you stay put. Ill let myself out. Its like Im not here, which I almost wasnt.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Chandler: No we didnt!
Phoebe: I cant follow Ross! Itd be like those bicycle ridding chimps that followed The Beetles. No.
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
Phoebe: I havent really had any yet.
Chandler: Is this why they dont like me or why you dont like me?
Ross: Oh, I dont, I dont, I dont know
Rachel: But, Pheebs, you can still use the copy machine where I actually work. But, just come by at lunch so my boss doesnt see you. Cause Kim will just freak out and she already doesnt like me very much.
Rachel: Dont worry, were just gonna search here for an hour, them were gonna go over to Joeys and search, OK?
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
Rachel: Okay, well cant you just try it one more time Ross? For me? For me?
Chandler: But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting, aint that funny? Irony? Not a fan, alright (he sits down). See, heres the thing. I went home and told my wife about Tulsa and she wont go. See, me, I love Tulsa! Tulsa is heaven! Tulsa is ItalyPlease dont make me go there!
Joey: (asleep) So why dont you give me your number?
Chandler: Yeah, well, I dont dance at weddings.
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
Mr. Geller: My joke wasnt funny.
Mrs. Waltham: I know, its horrible isnt it?
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Gym Employee: You do realize that you wont have access to our new full service Swedish spa.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Joey: Why dont you tell me something I dont know! (He storms out, and once Treeger closes the door behind him, Joey makes an Oops! have.)
Mr. Waltham: Dont take that tone with me. (She looks evilly at him.) All-all right you can. (He looks over at Ross and Shrugs.)
Monica: Oh my God, you cant even see where the Titanic hit it.
Tag: No. We had a really good talk. I dont think Im gonna do that bar scene anymore.
Rachel: (yelling from the living room) Oh wait-wait-wait!! No! Dont go in there! Dont go in there! I need another soda!
Joey: (getting out) Awww, man! He promised he wouldnt take the chairs!!
Chandler: An invitation for the At First Sight premiere? Oh my God! Val Kilmer didnt wear this in Batman! He wore it to the premiere of some tooty-fruity love story where he played a blind guy!
Monica: I dont believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house!
Hillary: Ive probably been talking too much. Why dont we talk about you a little bit?
Chandler: So apparently we just dont pay for food anymore. (Rachel laughs then Chandler notices something.) Do you see what I see?
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Ross: ....right? Right? I mean its pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I dont, I dont need them, huh, Ive got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
Emily: And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesnt wear a cup.
Phoebe: Theres sooo much you dont know.
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
The Producer: Im sorry, why dont we do that right now? Hes right here. (Points to a guy.)
Ross: Emma left her stuffed t-rex at my house. You know she can’t sleep without it.
Rachel: Thats not her name! Im sorry, she just doesnt feel like an Isabella.
Joey: Why dont you like PBS, Pheebs?
Kitchen Worker: Well, I dont know what to tell ya!
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: No, no, I didnt mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
Ross: Hate him? I No, I dont hate him. (Pause) Its just its Rachel, yknow?
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Monica: They really were pretty, werent they? (Rachel and Phoebe both agree)
Monica: Umm, excuse me, we switched apartments. You cant eat are food anymore, that-that gravy train had ended.
Chandler: Or a job where you dont have to carry a table.
Monica: I cant believe were living here!
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Chandler: Really?! I-I thought you werent looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for some kind of a fling.
Monica: (Start annoying hyper-competitive mode now.) (Jumping up) What don't you just calm down Phoebe! All right?! Why dont you just get all your facts before you run around telling everybody that you're the only hot couple!!
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
Ross: What, you didnt get it? The doctor is a monkey.
The Salesman: You dont have, anything?
Joey: I dont know, it smells good.
Hums While He Pees: Hey uh, I dont mean to be presumptuous but I have these two tickets to the ballroom dancing finals tomorrow night if you want to go?
Monica: No, wait, please dont go! Ive got porn for you too!
Mr. Geller: I didnt even have a chance to act as though Im okay with it!
Ross: Oh no. Dont, dont, dont start packing. Come on! (She puts some clothes into her bag, and Ross throws them out.)
Monica: Well, um, look I-I dont want this to come our wrong, but ah, you seem awfully confident for a guy I just told I wasnt attracted too.
Rachel: Hi. Sorry, things arent working out so well.
Rachel: Yeah hon, it cant hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if youre not engaged you just dont use it.