words in movies
Rachel: Listen yknow what sir? For the last time, I dont care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Chandler: And Im the happiest guy in the world! (Monica goes and sits down in a huff.) Oh honey, come on dont be upset. We still have so much to look forward to!
Monica: They wont be ready for weeks.
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries Oh my God! I cant believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
Chandler: Yeah but you dont need(Picks up something)What is this?
Ross: No you didnt.
Chandler: So you dont have the cameras?!
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Rachel: Shh-shh-shh! The guys dont know yet do they?
Monica: No! Joey and Ross dont know anything and Chandler still thinks that Phoebes pregnant.
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Rachel: Dont worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, cause Im going to tell the father today.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Rachel: Oh Joey! Joey! No, its not you! You didnt get anybody pregnant!
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Ross: Im telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding! Arent these the same flowers?
Chandler: I dont know, Monica picked out the flowers.
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Rachel: I dont know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, Im gonna tell the father today and then bam!
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Monica: You cant marry him!
Joey: Why?! Why cant she marry me?!
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I cant believe it! What? Rachels pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Whos the father?
Phoebe: We dont know.
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Woman At The Wedding: It didnt click.
Woman At The Wedding: Why wont you take our picture?
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Monica: (throwing up the last present) I dont know how any of these got opened?!
Joey: Well, I dont know. I think it does something to salami.
Rachel: Oh wow, you didnt even try to unhook my bra!
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Ross: Huh, didnt see that coming.
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
Ross: (on the phone) Hello? (Listens.) No she cant come to the phone right now. (Listens.) Oh, right no problem. Okay, bye-bye. (Hangs up.)
Monica: (chasing after him) Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, dont worry about it!
Rachel: Oh, come on now, dont keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because youre in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Cliff: I dont believe this. You got him to pretend he was some fake doctor?
Monica: Didnt it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did?
Ross: It doesnt matter. You dont dip your pen in the company ink.
Joey: Why wouldnt ya? Erin is great! Then-then theres you guys.
Emily: I dont think Id be comfortable with any of my old lovers there.
Michelle: No, actually, see I had to pee, �cause I can�t use public bathrooms because the doodie parasites.
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is trying to find out what Phoebe wont tell her.]
Rachel: Oh, yknow what? I cant. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl.
Mrs. Green: You cant leave a baby alone!
Rachel: I just dont know! It just doesnt feel right.
Rachel: Well, you more then me, but he cant stay to mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby.
Ben: Seriously, your dad doesnt like pranks.
Phoebe: Oh great! And listen, could you do us a favor and not tell Chandler and Monica about this? Cause yknow umm, they dont-they dont have any kids of their own and-and this door was like a child to them.
Rachel: Um, Pheebs, so, you guys just dont get along?
Phoebe: Theyre gonna get through this, arent they?
Ross: (to Chandler) Hey, dont we have to...
Monica: What if they dont?
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hes got a, hes got a really bad cough, and our vet, he cant do anything about it. Is there something you can do?
Rachel: What are you talking about, Ross, you just said that you read it twice! Look, y'know what, either it does or it doesnt, and if you have to even think about it...
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)
Chandler: It doesnt matter because nothing beats a three and a six. That my friend is D-Cup. Okay, now much have you won so far?
Joey: Listen, drama critics theyre nothing but, but people who couldnt make it as actors. You know what you should do?
Monica: All right, eight we get married, but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 we dont get married.
Ross: (looking in the window behind them) Yknow, yknow Im lookin and I dont think anyones home here. I say we just break the window, crawl through, and-and yknow explain later.
Phoebe: No-no-no oh, keep your name, dont take his name.
Chandler: Couldnt sleep last night you know, then I started worrying about this big divisional meeting that I have later today, the more I worried about it the more I couldnt sleep. Yknow? I was like, if I fall asleep now Ill get six hours sleep, but if I fall asleep now Ill get five hours sleep. Not matter what I did I couldnt fall asleep.
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Joey: No, Im not! And it wasnt a hop it was a pademarie.
Ross: Thats all right, we-we dont need you. In fact, hey Im over it already.
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
Rachel: Yeah, I dont think so Joe.
(Ross takes a twenty and slips it underneath the bill when Dr. Green isnt looking.)
Phoebe: So umm, now do you have any of Matt Lauers clothes here? Maybe? Just ones that havent been cleaned yet?
Phoebe: Okay Rachel, I cant wait to live with you! And you know what we should do? Bring Monica and then we could all live there together! Well have so much fun!!
Ross: You tell, of course you do. Issac. Issac. Hey, Issac. Issac, hi! Y'know we havent actually met...
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Chandler: Thats not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Dont say that I dont have goals!
Chandler: So you understand, Id feel a lot more comfortable if you didnt tell people what happened. Yknow, Im a little Im a little embarrassed about it.
Phoebe: All right. Although I dont think we need one, I never stopped loving you.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Pete: Could you leave a note? Cause Im on a lot of pain killers now, and I dont know if Ill remember this tomorrow. (She leaves.)
Rachel: But I told you, I didnt have the time!
Monica: Oh God, maybe he wont see us. Richard!
Chandler: Okay, its just weird! Okay? I dont want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need I dont know what I need. I need a walk.
Chandler: Look forget it okay? I dont want to go. I dont want to see him. I dont wanna.
Rachel: Yes I did! And I put a little Post-It on it that said, "Must go out today," and underlined today three times and, and then I put a little heart in the corner because I didnt want to seem to bossy.
Chandler: We dont, really.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah. You can do it to. (tries to do it, but cant)
Chandler: Okay, well it this bed isnt new, how come there is plastic on the mattress?
Phoebe: I dont have time for this.
Phoebe: Well, y'know we dont call it that, but yeah!
Frank: Well, I dont think this, y'know.
Ross: Well, apparently not, and I cant just stand by and watch two people I care about very much be hurt over something that is so silly. I mean, enough of the silliness!
Phoebe: I dont....
Joey: Yeah, hes the reason I didnt get that big Minute Maid commercial a couple of years ago remember? We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
Chandler: Well it you dont know that, then I dont want to do this with you.
Isabella: Arent you with that girl over there? (points at Rachel, who waves back)
Rachel: Yeah thats right you werent thinking! Yknow what? Let me give you something to think about! (She pulls up her sleeves and steps towards him.)
Chandler: Ive got five bucks says you cant.
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
Monica: (laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
Joey: Like you wouldnt believe. (they go into the apartment) Wow! This is a great place.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Rachel: (starting to cry) I dont know.
Ross: (moving over to stand in front of her) Okay, okay. This morning you said there was nothing so big that we couldnt work past it together...
Joey: I guess it couldve been, I didnt really look at it. Yknow, I just wiped it on Chandlers coat and got the hell out of there.
Chandler: I cant believe you came back.
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
Phoebe: Okay! I justI didnt know that you are a lesbian. (Joey smiles and nods lewdly.)
Chandler: Uh honey, I know you dont like to relinquish control
Rachel: Well um, I dont.
Phoebe: IRachel, you cant go! Ross loves Emily!
Monica: (to Phoebe) Quick, take off your dress, he wont notice the bed.
Joey: So what if he didnt come! We can still go out and party ourselves!
Monica: So dont think of it as a bachelor party, think of it as a a two month anniversary present.
Monica: No, I havent.
Ross: The first time! No seriously, imagine if Carol hadnt realized she was a lesbian.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Ross: Come on! Like I wanted him to tell you, I ran all over the place trying to make sure that didnt happen!
Phoebe: Well, I-I wasnt hopping mad, y'know.
Rachel: She is so good at throwing drinks in peoples faces, I mean I dont think Ive ever seen her finish a beverage.
Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You cant, their dead.
Phoebe: Im not gonna give you tips! Look dont you see that this-this this all came together so that I could stop you from doing this.
Joey: Yeah, but what if he doesnt? Hes such a good duck.
Monica: Say it louder, I dont think the guy all the way in the back heard you!
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
Phoebe: Joey, I cant believe you would do that for me.
Chandler: Id be sad sure, but I wouldnt cry.
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.