words in movies
Chandler: Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning Dont let Phoebe in.
Phoebe: I cant believe this! How long as this been going on?
Monica: Phoebe, dont get upset!
Monica: Hi honey. We just got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing; they dont like us do they? (They gave them a pok-a-dotted punch bowl.)
Chandler: Who says you cant get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?
Monica: No, it doesnt say where it came from. Where would we return it?
Monica: Why dont we just find a place for it?
Monica: Oh, okay. Here, why dont you let me do it?
Chandler: Dont try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff!
Phoebe: Why wont you let me massage you?
Phoebe: It does! How would you feel if you couldnt share your cooking? Or-or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldnt teach us about dragons.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Chandler: I wasnt trying to open your closet! I wasnt trying to open your closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)
Chandler: Monica has a secret closet and she wont let me see whats in it.
Chandler: I dont know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I cant see?!
Joey: I dont know. Ooh, I bet its Richard.
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Joey: Oh hey whoa-whoa, dont worry. Okay. When my sisters were pregnant they got every weird feeling in the book, it was always nothing.
Dr. Long: No-no. Contractions can be unnerving if you dont know what they are, but shes fine.
Joey: Calm?! I wasnt calm! Ive never been more scared in all my life!
Ross: Oh. Oh. Thank God, most women dont even feel them.
Joey: Oh hey, dont worry about it man. Dont worry about it, no big deal.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Rachel: I dont know. Is it crazy?
Monica: Oh no! You werent supposed to see this!
Monica: No Chandler, you dont understand! (Chandler starts singing the theme for Sanford and Son, an old TV show starring Redd Fox.) Okay! Okay! Okay! Fine! Now you know. Okay? Im yknow Im sick.
Chandler: No, honey youre not sick! Look, I dont love you because youre organized, I love you in spite of that.
Monica: Really? You promise you wont tell anyone?
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Phoebe: Yeah, you like that dont you?
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
Jasmine: Fine. (starts to leave, and points at Frank) I dont like you!! (leaves)
Joey: I dont know, it looks the same.
Chandler: I cant seem to say goodbye.
Phoebe: I dont know, its such a long trip.
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Chandler: I dont know, its these new shoes, theyre all slippery.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Chandler: I dont think the flash went off.
Joey: I guess I didnt really think about it.
Mr. Simon: Why wasnt I offered that? Id definitely pay more for that.
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Ross: Even if the sidecar had a windscreen so your hair wouldnt get messed up?
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Joey: No, no, no, dont get up, I got a cooler right here.
Phoebe: Hey you guys, I dont mean to make things worse, but umm, I dont want to live with Rachel anymore.
Rachel: No, we didnt get married! Thats ridiculous!
Joey: All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one soI don�t look stupid for my pictures.
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
Monica: All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.
Rachel: Oh dont even ask!
Rachel: Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Rachel: Well then how come youre still at a job that you hate, I mean why dont you quit and get the fear?
Rachel: Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, but Im also really psyched cause I dont have to move in here!
Rachel: Well isnt it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy and that I can get a lot of use out of?
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why dont you stick around. You can sit right there.
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Rachel: Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldnt shut up.
Chandler: Maybe we shouldnt pay our phone billfree phone sex.
Joey: Oh. Okay. Ooh! Ooh! Okay, maybe Ill talk about London! Yknow when you two hooked up! Only, only I wont say hooked up. Ill say, "Began their beautiful journey "
Rachel: I didnt know you could get married here.
Phoebe: Like okay I-I-I, I havent met any Portuguese people! I, I havent had the perfect kiss! And I havent been to snipers school!
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Monica: Oh yeah, she didnt hire me out of pity, it wasnt so she could pick on me in front of her friends, she actually thinks Im good.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Phoebe: Yknow, this is probably none of my business, but werent you guys supposed to not be seen in public together?
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Rachel: No. Not-not for me, but why dont you take off your sweater?
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
Chandler: I thought we werent gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Yknow, we agreed that it was a silly tradition.
Joey: I dont know why you say that so soon.
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why dont you tell me what happened.
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Gunther: Well, I wouldnt call her a star, but shes really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget.
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Joey: Dont blame me, I saw it on The Discovery Channel.
Joey: Pheebs! (He looks down as he goes down the step to make sure he didnt fall again.) Check it out! (He starts laughing when he realized what he did.)
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Phoebe: Alright, so, can we turn this off? Can we just make it... make them go away? Because I cant, I cant watch.
Rachel: Yeah, but I dont know why. Look at me, Im having such a wonderful time!
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Ross: Oh, I kinda was, wasnt I?
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
Rachel: Oh my God, wait did II just said Greens dont quit didnt I? (Pause) (Angrily) Did I just say Greens dont quit?!
Rachel: Yeah, when were in the audience he doesnt talk to us, but he does wave.
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
Rachel: Maybe she hasnt really thought it through that well.
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Monica: Okay. Dont you want a cookie?
Joey: Yeah, the ah, trees that dont fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper.
Monica: Well it wasnt my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations!
Phoebe: Is it Ross? Its Ross isnt itOh my God, its Joey!
Rachel: Oh, screw you guys, you dont have to do it!
Rachel: Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it wont stop crying.
Rachel: Noo! Maybe! I, I dont know.
Joey: (entering) Hey uh Monica, I cant remember. Did we say we were gonna meet here or at the movies?
Rachel: Oh Monica come on, yknow I dont sleep with guys on the first date!
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Monica: Yknow what? I-I think that umm, I dont feel like going to The Plaza.
Elizabeth: Why dont you get in the hot tub and Ill meet you there.
Ross: Maybe. But it wouldnt hurt to have a backup, you know? Uh, Rach-Rach, what were you thinking? (Gives her a look)
Chandler: Nothing happened? Nothing? So you didnt tell my girlfriend that you love her?
Joey: Well, you gotta give him something that he cant say no too. Like uh, Knicks tickets! Invite the guy to a Knicks game, youre guaranteed hell say yes!
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Monica: Yknow, lets face it, Im not a kid anymore! I-I need to be with someone who-who wants the same things that I do! I mean coming to my place of work and telling me that you love me, I want that! Talking about pig sex over lunch, I dont want that!
Joey: All right thats it! Youre yelling and I dont see you taking your top off! I quit!
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Phoebe: I cant believe you didnt tell me there was a suicide note!
Boy in the Cape: You cant tell me to shut up!
Ross: Oh my God! Those werent albino kids, that was computer camp! Rach! (He hurries inside and Chandler is taking out the garbage.)
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.
Chandler: No, no I just ah, didnt do them. Instead, I ah, hung out with a couple of friends and had a couple of beers so I certainly dont deserve any praise, verbal or otherwise.