words in movies
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you dont use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
Chandler: No Rach, its not just you. My thirtieth birthday certainly wasnt that much fun.
Phoebe: Yeah, but you shouldnt compare yourself to me.
Rachel: Nothing. I dont want to do anything.
[Flashback to: A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, better is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why dont the British make computers? Because they couldnt figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
Chandler: Ross, a sports car? Wouldnt it have been cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?
Ross: (giddy) I dont know, but-but look how shiny!
Monica: I cant believe you bought this.
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
Monica: Werent you asked to leave sonny?
Chandler: Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I cant believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I cant believe that you would have a tux thats thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Gellers shoulder.)
Mrs. Geller: (stopping him) Dont get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
Chandler: (To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesnt want her parents to know shes drunk.
Tag: It wasnt on your list, but hopefully youll think its really fun.
Joey: Now that youre a couple, we dont get two presents from you guys?
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Rachel: So, if I wanna have my kid when Im 35, I dont have to get pregnant until Im 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Ross: I really wish that you wouldnt.
Chandler: (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Phoebe: I lost a whole year! I cant believe it! This is so unfair!
Joey: Oh, I dont know Pheebs. Itll be okay.
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
Phoebe: Like okay I-I-I, I havent met any Portuguese people! I, I havent had the perfect kiss! And I havent been to snipers school!
Monica: Phoebe, yknow why dont we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
Rachel: Ross, I really dont think
Ross: All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesnt raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
Rachel: Ohh Tag, umm youre such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I dont-I dont
Tag: Rachel, dont do this. This is just because youre turning thirty.
Joey: (entering, limping, and holding his arm) I dont like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)
Chandler: Wait a minute, I cant give this to her.
Jasmine: Fine. (starts to leave, and points at Frank) I dont like you!! (leaves)
Joey: I dont know, it looks the same.
Chandler: I cant seem to say goodbye.
Phoebe: I dont know, its such a long trip.
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Joey: Oh yeah! I got in there myself once. My roommate bet me five bucks that I couldnt, and then he stuck a board through the handles that locked me in. Yeah. It was funny til I started feeling like I was in a coffin.
Chandler: I dont know, its these new shoes, theyre all slippery.
Ross: (Holding him back.)Dad, dad, please. Look I dont want anything to upset Emily tonight. Alright, she's had a hard enough couple of days as it is. (Picks up the bill.) Now here, here, let me go talk to him, okay?
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Ross: No. No, I didnt. I didnt want to be that guy.
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, that makes sense. Yeah. Cause you already told her you love her and she didnt say it back, then she called you and told you that theres another guy, so yeah, go to London thatll scare her!
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Chandler: I dont think the flash went off.
Joey: I guess I didnt really think about it.
Mr. Simon: Why wasnt I offered that? Id definitely pay more for that.
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Ross: Even if the sidecar had a windscreen so your hair wouldnt get messed up?
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Joey: No, no, no, dont get up, I got a cooler right here.
Phoebe: Hey you guys, I dont mean to make things worse, but umm, I dont want to live with Rachel anymore.
Rachel: No, we didnt get married! Thats ridiculous!
Joey: All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one soI don�t look stupid for my pictures.
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
Monica: All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.
Rachel: Oh dont even ask!
Rachel: Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Rachel: Well then how come youre still at a job that you hate, I mean why dont you quit and get the fear?
Rachel: Yeah, I feel kinda bad for them, but Im also really psyched cause I dont have to move in here!
Rachel: Well isnt it better that I exchanged it for something that I enjoy and that I can get a lot of use out of?
Chandler and Joey: Yeah! Why dont you stick around. You can sit right there.
Phoebe: Hey, buddy. Hows my favorite dog, huh? Hows my favorite dog? (the dog doesnt move) Youre subdued. (to Joey) Did you give him a beer?
Rachel: Oh well, the woman I interviewed with was pretty tough, but y'know thank God Mark coached me, because once I started talking about the fall line, she got all happy and wouldnt shut up.
Chandler: Maybe we shouldnt pay our phone billfree phone sex.
Joey: Oh. Okay. Ooh! Ooh! Okay, maybe Ill talk about London! Yknow when you two hooked up! Only, only I wont say hooked up. Ill say, "Began their beautiful journey "
Rachel: I didnt know you could get married here.
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
Monica: Oh yeah, she didnt hire me out of pity, it wasnt so she could pick on me in front of her friends, she actually thinks Im good.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Phoebe: Yknow, this is probably none of my business, but werent you guys supposed to not be seen in public together?
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
Ross: I I dont know what you are talking about.
Rachel: No. Not-not for me, but why dont you take off your sweater?
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
Phoebe: Ok, you guys, I don’t mean to make things worse, but umm, I don’t want to live with Rachel anymore.
Chandler: I thought we werent gonna have bachelor/bachelorette parties! Yknow, we agreed that it was a silly tradition.
Joey: I dont know why you say that so soon.
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why dont you tell me what happened.
(Chandler glares at him. At first Joey doesnt know why, it takes him a little bit to figure it out.)
Gunther: Well, I wouldnt call her a star, but shes really good. You should check out Inspecther Gadget.
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Joey: Dont blame me, I saw it on The Discovery Channel.
Joey: Pheebs! (He looks down as he goes down the step to make sure he didnt fall again.) Check it out! (He starts laughing when he realized what he did.)
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Phoebe: Alright, so, can we turn this off? Can we just make it... make them go away? Because I cant, I cant watch.
Rachel: Yeah, but I dont know why. Look at me, Im having such a wonderful time!
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Ross: Oh, I kinda was, wasnt I?
Ross: Why dont they just jump out of an airplane?! Huh?! That-thats a fun date! Or burn each other with matches?! Thats fun too! Whew!!
Rachel: Oh my God, wait did II just said Greens dont quit didnt I? (Pause) (Angrily) Did I just say Greens dont quit?!
Rachel: Yeah, when were in the audience he doesnt talk to us, but he does wave.
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
Rachel: Maybe she hasnt really thought it through that well.
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Monica: Okay. Dont you want a cookie?
Rachel: Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it wont stop crying.
Rachel: Noo! Maybe! I, I dont know.
Joey: Yeah, the ah, trees that dont fulfil their Christmas destiny are thrown in the chipper.
Monica: Well it wasnt my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations!
Joey: (entering) Hey uh Monica, I cant remember. Did we say we were gonna meet here or at the movies?
Phoebe: Is it Ross? Its Ross isnt itOh my God, its Joey!
Rachel: Oh, screw you guys, you dont have to do it!
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
Rachel: Oh Monica come on, yknow I dont sleep with guys on the first date!
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
Monica: Yknow what? I-I think that umm, I dont feel like going to The Plaza.
Elizabeth: Why dont you get in the hot tub and Ill meet you there.
Ross: Maybe. But it wouldnt hurt to have a backup, you know? Uh, Rach-Rach, what were you thinking? (Gives her a look)
Joey: Well, you gotta give him something that he cant say no too. Like uh, Knicks tickets! Invite the guy to a Knicks game, youre guaranteed hell say yes!
Ross: Well, why dont you just start with something simple. Like umm, Monica from the moment I met you, I knew I loved you.
Rachel: Look, I am so so happy for you guys, but you getting married just reminds me of the fact that Im not. Im not even close. And I dont know, maybe I just wanted to make myself feel better. And I know that thats dumb, but oh my God you were so depressed when Ross got married that you slept with Chandler!
Chandler: Nothing happened? Nothing? So you didnt tell my girlfriend that you love her?
Ross: Oh my God! Those werent albino kids, that was computer camp! Rach! (He hurries inside and Chandler is taking out the garbage.)
Ross: Okay, maybe it wasnt my best decision. But I just couldnt face another failed marriage.
Chandler: No, no I just ah, didnt do them. Instead, I ah, hung out with a couple of friends and had a couple of beers so I certainly dont deserve any praise, verbal or otherwise.
Eric: Arent you gonna give me a kiss?
Joey: All right thats it! Youre yelling and I dont see you taking your top off! I quit!
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Monica: Okay. (Opens the fridge.) All right, turkey. Eh, that wont work. Cheese? (Picks it up) That wont work. Olive loaf? (Picks it up) I hope that wont work.
Ross: Oh, come on, every first time mother feels that way. Youllyoure gonna pick it up. (Rachel doesnt believe that.) Hey! You will! Uh look, yknow when you first came to the city? You were this spoiled helpless little girl who-who still used daddys credit card. Do you remember?
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!